Thanks for another incredibly intense chapter! These glimpses into their thoughts are very interesting. "Brian locked the man he had shown Justin away" - Oh, I so agree with Daphne. You mention all those events that I also hated so much about S2 and Brian's behavior. I mean, really, a hustler for a birthday? It would have been so much better if he hadn't given him anything. But that was about the most disrespectful thing he could do. And it hurts me so much to see Justin's face, the joy, then the disappointment and how he tries to pretend he's happy for Brian afterwards. There were already so many little hurtful disrespectful things with whom Justin could deal before the bashing, because he had an almost naive, courageous, self-confident and enthusiastic way of approaching life, but after prom and after everything he had to experience at the age of 17! And that scene "Take a shower. You stink"! I can understand so well that this experience could completely destroyed Justin mentally - it was so cruel. And while reading this chapter and thinking about it, I wonder how the authors could deal with the bashing and the aftermath so carelessly...There would be so much more to say about all the things that happened between Brian and Justin in S1 and in S2 and about their effects...

What a great and intense chapter. First the glimpses into Brian's mind, who is finally confronted with what he did and the impact it had. He's done some cruel things to Justin before, but as I've already previously written, that "Take a shower. You stink"-scene is probably the most horrible thing Brian has done to Justin. Yes, mental abuse. Debbie later says, "I don't know what set him off, Brian." Brian should know. And yes, I know it's a TV series, but they started so many interesting storylines and then didn't finish them. They didn't let them talk enough. Whatever. And then that scene with Brian and Debbie. Very well written. "She laughed at me and said that you were the least of her concerns, that you were at least honest about the fact that you took pleasure in humiliating people." Heavy stuff, but not entirely untrue. "Justin said that he had been told that we would've been better off if you'd just left him lying there" - So, in your story, Michael didn't say that to Brian , but straight to Justin? Michael - what can I say, I don't like him at all, but I've always hoped that Brian and Michael would also have a clarifying conversation about their toxic addiction friendship - and not in the form that Brian offers Michael to fuck him.

Thanks for another great chapter! Your writing style is so wonderful. I have to say when you mentioned Justin giving his POA to Daphne I was concerned that it might have had something to do with Sap's party and I was really worried that you might have changed that storyline and didn't let Justin got off so lightly there (I don't think he would had got away in real life. If these men had really wanted that, how could he have defended himself in his condition. But as I said, I'm glad you didn't change it. This storyline always touches and scares me very much).

Oh, and then the first time Michael opens his mouth, bullshit comes out again. What's wrong with him? "How were they kissing?" "Like you kiss me" - And that was also something that always annoyed me. Sure, those rules might have been a little silly, but why did Michael and Brian keep kissing all the time.. Oh, okay, was I too hasty? The last straw for Justin was the conversation between Justin and Michael. I just rewatched this scene in QAF and also without the awful line that Brian should have left Justin lying there, this scene and Michael's behavior is bad enough. "I have lost him and for what? A fucking kiss between friends?" - As I said, I really really don't like Michael and he's a big part of what's happening, but then again it's not that simple. They all contribute their share and Brian's share is not small either.

Debbie's speech to Michael is wonderful and she gets all things to the point! I also completely agree with Justin's classification of the family. You really have the gift of getting things straight to the point, including the way Lindsay is portrayed (that's exactly why I don't like her) - "the first and only Mrs. B.A Kinney" haha. Unfortunately, Brian sometimes didn't clearly draw the line here either. I love Mel's reaction at the end!

Ah, what can I say? Another great chapter! And I love that Brian confronted Gary S. and punched him out! Great!

Regarding Lindsay... I have to say I think about her as badly as I do of Michael. some "best friends" they are... She pits Mel and Brian against each other, even in the first scene. In my opinion, a child's name should be chosen in peace between the partners and not make it a contest. And while at times it seems like she's supportive of Brian and Justin's relationship and hopes Brian will grow up a little, there are also those totally opposite moments like before their wedding when she talks Brian into going to a crappy White Party instead attend her wedding!? Where he is going to do what? Fuck guys like every day? I didn't understand that at all!!!! In my opinion she is a manipulating bitch.

Alright, back to your story. OMG, that moment when Justin takes off his beanie, Gus recognizes him and the two of them are just so incredibly happy. Even if it was manipulative, i agree, he needed this moment of joy and happiness. Awesome!

Oh, and by the way, I really really like Sam!

Another small step in the right direction...

"He'd gotten 723 in Verbal/Writing when he had taken his SATs, and Brian damn well knew that - he'd laid Justin out and made him tell him all the different ways you could say fuck, sex, and cock while you had a vibrating plug in your ass and was having your cock sucked." - haha And although this is a very painful, intense and challenging story, you also manage to make me laugh/smile at times. It's so Brian Justin-ish

Ah, I like this new addition to Justin's little new family. Tommy seems to be a very kind and lovely guy. I have a bad feeling about this Roman and I hope history doesn't repeat itself here in any form. Of course it would be great if there was just someone normal who just had feelings for Tommy...

Oh, Debbie, my goodness, she just can't let it go either. But well, it's probably hard to break long and old habits...

*breathing* For me, this chapter felt like a little respite, a little break. ;-) A few positive things are happening. Michael finally seems serious about it and starting therapy (though I imagine Ben had a hand in it, but who knows). And it's wonderful how Emmett manages to build a tiny bit of trust in Justin. An important step in the right direction. Emmett is just a good soul and I always felt that he could be the closest thing to be a real friend to Justin. He is honest and the most authentic in my opinion. Beautiful chapter!

Even if I get the feeling that Lindsay means it honestly and also regrets her behavior, I'm sorry, I just can't stand her. I honestly think it's cheeky that she took Gus to the playground when it was agreed that Mel would take him. And then she sits there and watches them both the whole time. It's like going to the zoo. No idea. In my opinion she kind of ruined the carefree time Justin wanted to spend with Gus. If I were Justin, that would have removed me further from her, but with this short greeting he shows that he seems to have more strength of character than I have... ;-)

Ah, what a wonderful liberating chapter! A real turning point for Justin! At first I was scared, because you portray his conflict so wonderfully. The conflict to keep believing in the positive things, to believe in yourself or to let yourself fall back into the negative depressive thoughts. And one thing has also become clear, he can only do this himself. Of course, seeing how others saw things that happened can also help him. Hearing that other way of looking at things. But he himself must have the will to get out of it, to find himself again. And it seems he has that will now! love this story so much and thanks for sharing it with us!

This story is just amazing. Unbelievable good! Every chapter, every sentence, every word... "mine" That suits them so much better and also fits Brian's character. And no one else will know what is meant when Brian says that one word to Justin. This is so ridiculously romantic! I love it! You made me smile so hard! And I love that careful, slow process of how they get closer and closer and the mutual trust is built more and more. And while Justin still has his doubts, like I said, they're on the right path.

Oh Justin! This was one of the absolutely saddest chapters so far. I really hope he doesn't have any internal injuries, but since you didn't mention that again, hopefully he'll be okay about that. This reminds me so much of one of my other favorite Conzieu fanfictions in which Justin also experiences mental rape at the hands of Brian. Brian still doesn't know what damage he's done. And the saddest thing is, of course, he wanted to hurt Justin, but I don't think he realized what he was doing with such careless, disrespectful and cruel treatment. Here in your story Brian's reaction is even more baseless, but even on the show I find it so disrespectful, so cruel. Because even if Justin cheated on Brian, it doesn't give him the right to treat another human being like that after he's treated Justin himself so many times disrespectfully and cruelly and carelessly. Now he will also reach the bottom.

And again a perfect, painful but also beautiful chapter. I love your portrayal of Sam and Ethan so much and thankfully Justin has made such loyal loving friends. This talk, especially between Ethan and Brian, was important for mutual understanding. And I don't know why some sentences touch me more than others. So, as I said, almost every chapter is written so powerfully, so intensely, sadly, devastatingly and almost every sentence, every word moves me, but this sentence brought even more tears to my eyes "I took him to this little deli near your loft and he has his last one Money spent on food and wine."