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Bio:
Avid FanFic reader.
Ethan’s pursuit of Justin might have seemed like a romantic meeting of two like-minded, artistic souls, but was it really? What if there was a more sinister motive behind Brian and Justin’s breakup? Canon Divergent story starting with ep 2.16.
Categories: QAF US
Characters: Brian Kinney, Ethan Gold, Justin Taylor, Other Cast Regulars
Tags: 100k+ Word Count, 10k+ Word Count, Abuse/Child Abuse, Anti-Ethan, Canon Divergence, Hatred, Humiliation, Justin/Other, M/M, Raw Sex, Vulnerable Justin
Genres: Alternate Canon, Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Pairings: Brian/Justin, Justin/Ethan
Series: None
Chapters: 25 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 113257 Read Count: 25173
Date: Feb 23, 2020 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19 - You Trust Me, Right?
I DO trust you... which was the only thing getting me through this chapter.
I really want to hug and console poor Justin right now.
Author's Response:
Me too. He's just so exhausted and confused and he has nobody to talk to. It's so bad... I'm writing as fast as I can to get him out of there. But I'm afraid it'll be a while still. Thanks for sticking with me. TAG
Date: Feb 23, 2020 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18 - Just Going Along
From a scientific viewpoint, it's actually pretty amazing how our bodies deal with stress. Mental issues can most definitely cause physical symptoms as our bodies struggle to cope, which can then lead to more symptoms...
Hopefully, Justin will soon find his way out of the viscious cycle.
Date: Feb 20, 2020 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17 - Inferno of Rage
I absolutely cannot stand when people treat wait staff and servers so disrespectfully. I have friends that sometimes make me cringe with complaints about simple things like the wrong salad dressing... but that's nothing like what Ethan did. I don't think I could have sat through that. It was actually really hard for me to just read it.
I said it before, Justin is in survival mode. Alive, but not really living. And Daphne is in a tough best-friend corner. Wanting to be supportive of Justin, but not really knowing exactly how to help. Because stepping too far over the line will cause Justin to shut down, like he did here.
I mentally slapped Ethan right across the face when he proudly displayed his racism. And gagged a little with Justin's comments about that "soul patch" and his balls. Ewwww!
Author's Response:
Unfortunately, the screaming fit in the middle of a restaurant is a real world example from my own past… TAG
PS. The thing about Ethan's chin rat made me gag too, and I was writing it.
Date: Feb 19, 2020 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16 - Stay Mad
I just realized today that there were TWO chapters that I hadn't read. But they made for a great double feature!
What to do about Ethan? Hmmm... maybe make him watch Brain/Justin sex tapes until his head explodes?
Date: Feb 19, 2020 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15 - Considering Your Limitations
Well, Ethan has obviously got some sort of tracking App on Justin's phone.
It was nice to see Brian... even in a cameo appearance. Hopefully, Justin can escape Ethan's clutches soon. In the meantime, thank goodness he has Daphne.
Date: Feb 12, 2020 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12 - Little Lies
Justin is in pure survival mode right now. But I firmly believe "our" smart, strong, bratty Justin is still there. Jusitn just has to find him.
Rory IS creepy. He worries me.
Date: Feb 11, 2020 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11 - Control
Excited to see you working to get this one finished.
It's certainly intense and sometimes hard to read, so I can only imagine how difficult it must be to write from self-experience. Hopefully, using our boys to work through some of your personal stuff will help you continue to heal.
Oh, and Justin's quick clean-up before work? My Nana used to call them, "G.I." baths, LOL!
Date: Sep 02, 2018 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10 - Its Not Me, Its You.
"But the new Justin was still feeling raw and unsure of himself."
I can see why this was a difficult chapter to finish. This new Justin makes me incredibly sad. I find myself talking to him as I read, trying to convince him to trust his gut and get himself out of that situation.
Date: Aug 21, 2018 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9 - Adjustments
Well, that opening paragraph or two certainly could be applied to a current political figure, now couldn't it??? Ugh!
I think one of the reasons why Justin might have fallen so easily for Ethan's manipulations is the fact that he really DIDN'T have any other options - nowhere else to go at 1am. He's still fighting though, letting his real personality out in his remarks about the GPS, but he is mentally exhausted and his guard is down.
I really didn't mind canon Ethan so much, I was happy that Justin was giving himself a chance to experience other relationships. He was still SO young at the time. But this Ethan really makes me want to smack him!
I know you said you struggled with this chapter, but I thought it was great! Already looking forward to the next one!
Date: Jul 29, 2018 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8 - Salad Days
Oh, wow... it seems like I missed a chapter. But then, I did get to read 2 tonight. I think the frog analogy is very appropriate here. Even over the course of just a single day, Justin has to spend too much time making excuses for Ethan and spends too much time reminding himself that he's supposed to be happy.
Date: Jul 17, 2018 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6 - Rage Against The Machinations
that wasn’t really ME. It was just the me I was at that moment in time when Ethan found me.
This explains so much. And once again, as a young person who's still trying to discover themselves, completely normal.
Justin's description of Ethan at the beginning sounds a bit "trumpian"
He’s the ONLY one who knows what to do and how to do it. He alone can fix whatever is wrong.
Date: Jul 16, 2018 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5 - Snake Charmer
by making me feel cherished and valued beyond anything I’ve experienced before.
That's something that everyone deserves in their relationships. Justin shouldn't feel bad about desiring it.
I've had many a discussion with other fans about that infamous scene at the loft. Most tell me their sympathies lie with Brian, that he's the one who's been hurt. And I don't doubt that he is feeling hurt and abandoned. But much like you describe here, I feel it's Justin who's suffering the most. He literally has no place to go. Nowhere that's truly his. He's forced to live off the good natures of friends and family. That's a lot for a young college student. I think sometimes we forget just how young Justin is.
Author's Response:
BINGO! You put your finger right on it - we forget how truly young Justin was in that scene. Granted, they were both at fault for the breakup, mostly because they we stupid and refuse to talk about why they were so upset with each other, but Brian, being the more mature partner, controlled all the cards financially and even emotionally, so he always had the advantage. That's why I saw it as Justin not having any choice. It really was a cruel thing to do on Brian's part too. But, in my story, all of those factors are exacerbated by Ethan's manipulations of the situation. If Ethan hadn't been meddling, I really do think Brian and Justin would have eventually worked things out... TAG
Date: Jul 14, 2018 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - Things Fall Apart
I had always wondered WHY Justin would come home without showering and had always felt that he subconsciously wanted to get caught. And I am probably one of the staunchest Justin defenders there is, but THAT scene - he deserved that. I can still hear the sound of their kissing, and their breathing and the squeak of skin rubbing against that wooden floor. In my opinion, that was one of the most perfectly intense scenes in the show.
Author's Response:
There's that scene in season 3 with Justin and Ethan in a bathtub set up in the middle of the room, so I just always assumed that Ethan didn't have a shower... At least that's what I'm going with in this story. I agree that was a really INTENSE scene. TAG
Date: Jul 09, 2018 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3 - Falling
I can definitely see where you are going with this regards to Justin's "condition," I guess you'd call it. The opening paragraphs of each installment are intense.
And the part where Justin actually recognizes that his good-natured personality has left him vulnerable to manipulation shows that at least on some level, he knows it really isn't ALL his fault.
I felt like I was being forced to choose which man I would hurt the most. And, soft-hearted me, I was absolutely unable to make that choice.
But that shower scene... every time I watched that scene I begged, yes, BEGGED, Justin (both mentally and verbally at the screen, LOL!) to just tell him! But he never does... ;-)
Date: Jul 07, 2018 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2 - Contagion
So, I decided this couldn't wait to be read. It's... interesting.
I'm VERY curious as to what exactly has happened to Justin. But I have a really hard time with him seemingly taking ALL of the blame for the entire Ethan fiasco. Maybe that's part of whatever it is that's gotten him to this point, where he describes himself as a shell and no longer capable of emotion. Because personally? I lay a lot of the blame at Brian's feet. Especially regarding the Vermont trip... yeah, it's his job. He's the adult, the money-maker. But throwing it in Justin's face like that? That was juvenile. And then to be disappointed when Justin wasn't the compliant little boy sitting at home and waiting for him to celebrate? Nope. No sympathy from me buster!
Now I realize in the world of TV Drama, this conflict was needed... otherwise, there would be no drama, right? So, I get it. And I am still in this for the long haul. Your writing, as always, is wonderful! And I am a sucker for a good "Justin down a well," Fic, LOL! But I have to be honest, Justin's constant self-flagellation does make me a teensy bit uncomfortable.
Author's Response:
Your review is impressive and quite insightful. In a round about way, this gets to the very core of the story I’m trying to write. So, at the risk of giving too much away, I’d like to expound upon this comment a bit.
I agree with you completely that the breakup between Brian and Justin wasn’t solely either’s fault. They both acted like idiots and their lack of communication was completely immature. The whole fiasco could have been easily resolved if they’d just talked to each other. But, of course, that would have been utterly OOC for Brian and Justin wasn’t mature enough to understand that. What you said about the nature of TV dramas, though, is very true - it was a complex situation and were very clearly BOTH at fault for the break up.
But what if Ethan wasn’t just some boy that Justin had a fling with? What if Ethan had intentionally gone after Justin, meaning to steal him away from Brian, and then fostered Justin’s guilt about cheating on Brian to make him feel like he was wholly responsible? A malignant narcissist, like the Ethan in my story, would likely use that guilt to manipulate and control his victim. Eventually Justin might come to believe that everything was all his fault and that he deserved everything that has happened to him. Which is precisely where Justin is st the start of this story.
Totally evil, huh? *Bwahahaha*
TAG
Date: Feb 15, 2020 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14 - Fighting An Octopus
Another great update.
I must say, I didn't think it was possible to dislike this Ethan any more than I already did. But then he had to go and call Daphne a cunt, and I realized that it was, indeed, possible. Grrr.
A Sin Series Sequel. Justin has a suggestion for Brian about how to expand their twosome into a permanent threesome.
Story #4 in the Sin Series
Categories: QAF US
Characters: Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor, Original Character
Tags: Celebratory Fuck, M/M, Polyamory, PWP (Plot? What Plot?), Threesomes
Genres: Alternate Universe, PWP (Plot? What Plot?)
Pairings: Brian/Justin/Other
Series: Sin Series
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 14987 Read Count: 2934
Date: Aug 13, 2018 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - The More The Merrier
That was fun! (Except for the Mal being hurt part, of course.) Why do I find it so endearing the way Brian reacts to his boys giggling, LOL?
Author's Response:
I’m with you on the giggling thing. I can just see Big Bad Brian being a softie for the giggling twinks! Lol. Thanks for reading. TAG
AU after Season 4. The year Justin turns 23, he and Brian get the news that over the next year he's going to gradually lose all of his hearing. The series tracks the next years of their life as they manage their new reality, after-effects of the bashing, their eventual move to New York, and their ever-evolving relationship. Told in first-person chapters from their points of view and some outsiders, with some angst, a lot of hurt/comfort, and loads of humor. Never any big relationship drama, always disability-positive, and no one ever takes themselves too seriously.
Categories: QAF US
Characters: Ben Bruckner, Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor, Lindsay Peterson, Melanie Marcus, Michael Novotny
Tags: Bashing
Genres: Alternate Universe, Angst w/ Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort
Pairings: Brian/Justin, Melanie/Lindsay, Michael/Ben
Series: None
Chapters: 154 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 780901 Read Count: 82551
Date: Aug 31, 2018 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - The One Where Justin Loses His Hearing
Hello, again! Glad to see you are posting this wonderful story here too!
What if Brian agreed to the unthinkable and offered to start a family with Justin . . . and then it all went to hell? Set post series.
Categories: QAF US
Characters: Brian Kinney, Gus Marcus-Peterson, Justin Taylor, Original Character, Other Cast Regulars
Tags: 100k+ Word Count, Family, M/M, Post-series
Genres: Alternate Universe, Canon Divergence, Drama, Humor, Romance
Pairings: Brian/Justin, Justin/Other
Series: None
Chapters: 30 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 124538 Read Count: 47923
Date: Jan 07, 2019 Title: Chapter 24: Chapter 24 - Why did you leave?
Hooray for an update!
But, oh... poor Justin. And in all of the awfulness he just unloaded to Brian, one thing that made me even sadder - that he hasn't kept in touch with Daphne. I hope you can bring a reconciliation for those two as well. Knowing that Daphne had been living under the "blackmail" of Justin hurting himself if she had gone to Brian is painful to think about.
Ha! I love Brian's reaction to the thought of facing both mothers, LOL!
Date: Nov 04, 2018 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16 - Glad You’re Back, Sparky
So, I guess I lose my bet about Emmett being the first to figure out the girls' plan... but I'm glad he didn't ruin the whole thing!
Date: Dec 04, 2018 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17 - A Bunch of Dead Ends
What a happy little surprise - to see the update, I mean. I'm sure Alex wasn't very thrilled with his surprises! But I am really concerned that Justin is so blind to just how creepy, creepy Alex is. What could he be thinking???
And the mystery behind the girls' separation has become even deeper. I'm guessing the duel wedding dates is a clue, but not one my brain can figure out
Looking forward to reading whichever story you decide to update next!
Date: Dec 07, 2018 Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20 - Pay Attention Here...
I think Brian's reaction was perfect! He was too impressed with the girls' inventiveness to be angry!
Can't wait to see the big reveal when Justin finds out. But apparently, the boys didn't know about the twins. That's probably why the girls were able to get away with the switch for as long as they did.
Date: Dec 09, 2018 Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21 - Mission to Rescue Sunshine
I think this is the perfect Brian for the situation. He's obviously changed since becoming a father. His little "Sunshine" daydream in the airport shows us he's still there! Something tells me he has got evil plans for Alex!
Date: Dec 10, 2018 Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 22 - World War Three
Got teary-eyed at the Gus/Justin reunion...
Doesn't look like hairy Alex is going away easily!
Author's Response:
I’m thinking Gus will play a big role in convincing Justin to give Brian a second chance in this story....*wink, wink* TAG
Date: Jan 23, 2019 Title: Chapter 27: Chapter 27 - Would Flowers Be Too Much?
So happy to see Grandma Jenn getting on board with "Team Kinney," LOL!
I also find it adorable how uncomfortable Justin seems with the prospect of his mother getting involved as if he knows that any time spent alone with Brian will only wear down his defenses. Brian's texts to the girls are hysterical!