The first time Debbie Novotny heard about Brian Kinney, Michael was in the eighth grade. It was just after spring break. He’d come home from school chattering away excitedly about the new boy in his class who’d just moved to Pittsburgh from some town she couldn’t remember. All through dinner it was Brian this, and Brian that. Michael was clearly enamored with this Brian kid.

“All I’m saying is, someone should have called Justin.”

The blond young man standing outside the door to the diner was surprised to hear his name in a conversation coming from inside.

“Brian told me not to. What was I supposed to do, go against his wishes and do it anyway?” Justin recognized this voice -- Michael.

“I know he told you not to. I was there.” Ben. “I said it then, and I’ll say it again now: It’s disrespectful to Justin to not tell him, or at least warn him ahead of time. Can you imagine what it’s going to be like Justin walks in and sees him?”

This was the same, only different.

This time, his filters were firmly in place, because Justin knew that kicking, punching, and destroying wasn’t going to fix this. It wasn’t going to take away the fact that his lover had cancer.

He could tell Michael that he loved him. Always had, always will. Brian wasn’t sure why saying “I love you” to Michael was so easy -- why it was different. Why the words flowed off his tongue with Michael but felt stuck in his throat with Justin.

********************
This is a song fic inspired by Lifehouse's song "Yesterday's Son." It's gap filler, and a peek inside Brian Kinney's head through several key story arcs in the course of the show's five seasons.