Reviewer: Rejori Signed [Report This]
Date: Jul 13, 2018 8:00 am Title: Chapter 30

OK, I don't know what to say. I've missed this story and I'm glad your back, but this chapter was fucked up. This started out as Michael semi taking some blame for what he did to Justin and Brian, even though it still seemed as more for Brian's benefit than Justin's. Then the next thing you know, it's Michael talking as if he knows Justin better than Brian. Then talking about Brian or Justin having a daddy kink and than acting as if he is superior to Brian because of how he treated Justin. I'm sorry but I still think someone wishing you were dead, is worse than any thing Brian or anyone else did. Your story always makes me cry, but this time I think it was more from frustration at how it ended then anything else. Can't wait for the next chapter.

P.S. I'm glad your back and that your Mom is doing better.

Author's Response:

I'm so glad you picked up on this because Michael was way out of line here. Remember when I said in your last review that Justin would soon start to open his eyes? This chapter is the reason why. Michael thinking he knows everything, when he is in fact, ignorant to what is real. xx

Reviewer: SunshineSally Signed [Report This]
Date: Jun 12, 2018 7:44 pm Title: Chapter 29

Damnit, now I am back to wanting to cuddle Justin and tell him that he WILL get through this and that he IS okay. So much of what Brian has said to him over the years has damaged him so badly, it's definitely made me think how careful you have to be when you say things.

I really hope they get back to a session again soon. They seemed to do so well last time, but then this happened.

Well done on your reader award, babes. SO DESERVED!

Author's Response:

Thanks, babes!! 

There will be other sessions, but we need to get through this first. He has a lot of self-doubt and hatred towards himself now - that is now more damaging than anything Brian ever said to him. 

Reviewer: SunshineSally Signed [Report This]
Date: Jun 12, 2018 6:42 pm Title: Chapter 27

Justin, Justin, Justin. I want to cuddle you so hard until all your pain goes away, but I also want to shake you and say, LOOK AT HOW MUCH BRIAN IS TRYING. What will it take for him to see how much he wants to be with him and not just because he's a good fuck?

I hope Alex suggesting Brian change the way he asks Justin out hasn't messed things up.

AHH, you kill me with this story, but I love you for it... unless it ends badly and then I will TAKE YOU TO COURT ;)

Author's Response:

LOL!! I'ma gonna go hide under the bed so you can't find me! *Pokes tongue out* 

Justin will open his eyes soon - he won't have a choice. ;)

Reviewer: SunshineSally Signed [Report This]
Date: Jun 10, 2018 12:43 am Title: Chapter 26

TOMMY IS GARDNER'S SON????????? I didn't see that coming, but I bloody love that that little twist you threw in there.

I worry about how little Justin is trusting Brian. Like I get it, but my heart is worried he will never trust him again :(

Author's Response:

LOl, I got that reaction a lot. But as I have said before, if you go back over certain chapters, there are hints or seeds as I call them, planted in every chapter as to what is to come. In this case, it was in the chapter that introduces Tommy, and also in the chapter where Emmett offers to find Tommy for Justin - Justin gives you his full name - Tommy Vance. ;)

Justin will eventually trust Brian, and it will because of Tommy and Gardner - think about what era the fic is in, and why Tommy and Gardner are so important. ;)

Reviewer: SunshineSally Signed [Report This]
Date: Jun 10, 2018 12:11 am Title: Chapter 24

So many feels, the end of this chapter just gave me such warm fuzzies. Brian is so patient with him and I love that he is willing to do anything to prove to Justin just how much he's changed and what he'd do to get him to see that they're friends.

I loved that Jennifer came in and saw how well Brian was taking care of Justin, but also how well he was responding to him. She needed to see that herself I think, to know that Brian may have been a complete dick at one time, his heart and brain are now in the right place.

Author's Response:

They are in the right place, hon. But does Justin know that?

Reviewer: SunshineSally Signed [Report This]
Date: Jun 09, 2018 11:40 pm Title: Chapter 22

That picture was so worth it. now I know who I am picturing in my mind, and what is scary is, I was pretty damn close to how I saw them.

I knew the moment Jennifer mentioned Craig that something like this would happen. Justin isn't ready to even think about his father. Ethan was right in getting Alex to call Brian. He knows how to look after his boy, it may have taken him long enough, but he knows what Justin needs now.

It's great that because of all of this, Brian has found a friend in Emmett and Ted. That he's changed too. He had to.

Author's Response:

Change is good and in this case, good. And I'm glad you like the pictures. ;)

Reviewer: BlueMyst Signed [Report This]
Date: Jun 09, 2018 5:14 pm Title: Chapter 29

Don't know how to stop the tears all this pain Justin is feeling is consuming him to the point that he can't breathe and every time he tries to find some good clean air it gets tainted by pains of the past.

Craig will Never Apologize but maybe Justin getting his anger out will help?

Brian and Jennifer have so much to apologise for cause they took Justin's trust and threw it back in his face every chance they got.

No one wanted to see that Justin needed help they just wanted things to go back to the way it was before Chris Hobbs swung that bat.

Michael's apology even an attempt won't be able to heal the pain he enjoyed inflicting because Brian didn't choose him, but maybe Justin confronting him and getting the pain out could help Justin.

The weight of all this pain Justin is carrying needs to be unburden and until he talks, yells, screams and cries it all out he will never move past it.

Brian also has to unburden himself the same way or else he will never feel clean and free to say the words Justin needs to hear and believe, plus he will never break the cycle Jack and Joan cursed him with.

Thanks for the Update :)

Author's Response:

Thanks, hon. 

Reviewer: Glo Signed [Report This]
Date: Jun 09, 2018 3:40 pm Title: Chapter 29

Holy shit....one step forward, three steps back. Those damn voices in our heads sometimes, so completely tragic....Justin is so self-destructive. Alex was so thoughtful and compassionate, more than just a therapist. He's a wonderful therapist but he was really being Justin's friend too. 

I can understand Alex approaching Jennifer & Brian in regards to apologizing to Justin but Craig never will, which is another tragedy in itself. I can also understand his anger. Christ, I'm angry and these are fictional characters! You are one of the BEST writers out there Kerri! Love your work....

Author's Response:

THanks, babe!! 

Reviewer: BibiC Signed [Report This]
Date: May 30, 2018 1:43 am Title: Chapter 28

Simply. Perfect.

Author's Response:

Thanks, hon. x

Reviewer: Tagsit Signed [Report This]
Date: May 29, 2018 3:30 pm Title: Chapter 28

Very cathartic. Great job. TAG

Author's Response:

Thanks, hon. x

Reviewer: YumYumPM Signed [Report This]
Date: May 29, 2018 4:01 am Title: Chapter 28

Brian has finally let the truth come out, let's hope Justin believes him.

Author's Response:

Thanks, hon. x

Reviewer: mamab Signed [Report This]
Date: May 29, 2018 2:14 am Title: Chapter 28

What an amazing chapter.  Your writing is beyond incredible.  The detail of all that happened is amazing, but you really made the readers feel all the things that Justin felt because of Brian's beliefs.  And, having Brian finally realize just how horrible he had been by hiding his feelings was perfect.  I hope that this is the start of a turning point and maybe, just maybe a happy ending will come.  Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts !!!!

Author's Response:

Thanks, hon. x

Reviewer: Glo Signed [Report This]
Date: May 19, 2018 5:12 pm Title: Chapter 27

Holy shit! Omg poor Justin...he's so hurt and in so much pain....he honestly thinks he was, and is still nothing. Nothing to Brian especially. God this breaks my heart! What is the time line here Kerri? How long has it been since the Rage party til now? I'm sure it hasn't been all that long so Justin must have a very long road ahead of him still. Having Brian in the next session would be so good for both of them but also very hard and painful yet something they clearly have to go through to move forward. 

So glad to hear he's having better relationships with most of the gang! Real progress. Love love love this story so much! Even though at times it can be so heartbreaking...

Author's Response:

Thanks, babe!! Timeline wise for this fic; 

Rage party happened and four days later is when Justin tried to take his life. 

Brian found out about his attempt three months after the Rage party. 

Justin discharges himself from the unit three months after Brian finds out. By the time the next chapter goes up, it has been roughly seven months since the Rage party, and Justin's attempt. If you remember, after chapter 10, which is when the boys meet up at Boytoy, Justin then stops going to his sessions and avoids everyone for five weeks.  Then he is put into the hospital for several more weeks.  So it's a flow on effect, instead of a jarring jump.  As for the road that Justin is on, it is a long one, and at the moment, still very bumpy.

When my BF was battling depression, at her lowest point, she was like Justin for nine months; her recovery is what I am basing Justin's on.  The ups and downs, the steps back and forth.  That nasty little voice whispering lies in his head... she got through that period in time by sheer grit and determination, and even now, over fifteen years later, she still feels it snapping at her heels some days.  That is why this fic not only reads as 'real' but why it is so hard for me to write at times; it's because I've lived it.  I've got the mental scarring that matches hers.  But, she's my girl; I love everything about her, from her foul mouth to that dark little cloud that hangs above her head.  And that's never gonna change.  *Shrugs*