Date: Mar 22, 2018 5:10 pm Title: Chapter 20
Holy shit...every week my heart continues to break for Brian...and Justin, Christ, it's just shattered...I am never disappointed with your written word, you're amazing & this story is epic!
Of course Justin sees his own lost innocense in Tommy, oh my goodness, he's such a great friend. I'm so glad Justin allowed Brian to touch him and speak to him and gave him silent permission to come back...
Brian will never forgive Michael, I don't see their friendship ever repairing after this.
I wish you had enough time for 2 chapters a week, damn real life! lol
Author's Response:
I adore you, Gloria, seriously!! But on a more serious note, you picked up on a theme there - silent permission. ;) Brian having to read actions and silences - let's see how well he does. ;)
[Report This]Date: Mar 22, 2018 2:44 am Title: Chapter 20
Renee was being selfish and very inconsiderate when she put up that photo of Justin in the hospital without his permission.
Exploiting Justin's pain for a high grade and high recognition is just such a scumbag thing to do, I hope she gets into serious trouble for her actions and she learns to be more considerate of others cause the next person won't have as much restraint as Brian had.
Brian going to Justin to give him the pictures is good they are making some progress and Brian is seeing that his actions cause Justin to react the only way he knew how.
Brian still needs to say the words because actions is what lead to Justin building walls, words are the reason why Justin only sees himself as Damaged Goods.
Brian needs to see that saying I Love You, I'm Sorry, Forgive Me won't mean the world will end.
Words have the power to destroy a heart, but they also have the power to mend a heart too.
Brian denied he felt love from Justin and that allowed Jack and Joan to win, they still controlled his life until Brian is ready to say the I Love You and not cringe then they still have the power.
Still have a long road to go.
Author's Response:
Brian still needs to say the words because actions is what lead to Justin building walls, words are the reason why Justin only sees himself as Damaged Goods.
^^^ This.
Brian denied he felt love from Justin and that allowed Jack and Joan to win, they still controlled his life until Brian is ready to say the I Love You and not cringe then they still have the power.
^^^And this.
Still have a long road to go.
^^^And this, too.
They aren't even reading the same chapter yet, let alone being on the same page. Thanks, hon. xx
[Report This]Date: Mar 22, 2018 12:56 am Title: Chapter 20
If only Brian could say the things he thought. It was a good thing that he saw those pictures and got them removed when he did. I think Justin might be one step closer to forgiving.
Author's Response:
I think Justin might be one step closer to forgiving.
Not a step; maybe a toe's hold, but not a step.
And yes, Brian will learn that he needs to say those things because silence is never a good thing for Justin.
Date: Mar 22, 2018 12:00 am Title: Chapter 20
Wow, another terrific chapter. Hopefully they are on their way to getting Justin better. Brian realizing his part in it means so much. Great writing.
Author's Response:
THanks, hon. xx
Date: Mar 21, 2018 11:53 pm Title: Chapter 20
I'm wordy. Sorry. :)
"He doubted that he would ever be able to give Justin the words that he needed, but he would damn well make sure that his actions would show Justin everything that he was unable to say."
Therapy, however one gets around to it, is a substantively selfish enterprise. Focusing on the self is absolutely necessary, making self the center of the therapy universe is almost imperative for healing/dealing, because the issues involved in therapy are pretty much, well, within the self. "Why do I feel this way?/Who am I, really?/Why do I react this way? and so on. The only person you can 'fix' is you and the only one you can fix it for is you. Brian has been seeing Alex and is doing his own introspection and, necessarily, focuses on *his* needs and deeds. Good for him. He's starting to get it. But...(and you knew there had to be a 'but' in there, didn't you? LOL) he can't fix Justin no matter how much he wants to.
Brian is still trying to fix Justin's situation rather than seeing that the problem he needs to work on can be boiled down to the first part of that sentence above. Why can't *Brian* say his words? He's getting there, but he's still so monumentally f'ed up, so stuck in the damage that he himself has never dealt with, that he still finds words superfluous. They really aren't. Working on his actions, the reasons behind and consequences of, is a good thing. But there is a damage so deep inside Brian that it has rendered him psychologically mute when it comes to things that others need - not just want - to hear. You an pat a child on the should all day long, help with her homework, take her shopping, make sure food is on the table and she has a warm bed. But sometimes that child just needs to hear the words.
I'm hurting for him (finally ;)) but he's still looking for bottom. He can finally rise up from there.
And I LOVE him for ripping down those pictures. That girl should be expelled! Those other images were public or posed, obviously. The hospital images were not. Let a picture of her taking a crap be displayed, or undergoing a pap smear! So, now that my petty little tweenager has spoken up, I can't wait for more. This is a fascinating psychological journey. Love this story!
Author's Response:
But...(and you knew there had to be a 'but' in there, didn't you? LOL) he can't fix Justin no matter how much he wants to.
^^^^^ This!! Yes!! Finally!! Brian thinks if he 'fixes his boy' then all will be well. He can't fix this - only Justin can. And the problem with that is that Justin isn't the same 'boy' that he once was. For starters - he's no longer a boy. ;)
Brian is still trying to fix Justin's situation... Why can't *Brian* say his words? but he's still looking for bottom. He can finally rise up from there.
Remember when we spoke about Brian's rock bottom? This will be a part of his journey - from this chapter on, you'll see him start that journey, and he will learn that spoken words are more powerful, and more needed, than any action given. I said in another review answer, that now it is Brian's turn to learn to read silences and actions... ;) He's on that slippery slope. He just doesn't know it yet.
I'm really glad you're still enjoying this fic, hon. Means a lot. xx
Date: Mar 21, 2018 10:47 pm Title: Chapter 20
They still have a long way to go, but the gap is slowly shrinking. Touching hands can be a first important step for them; that and the pictures that Brian gave Justin.
Author's Response:
I agree. xx
[Report This]Date: Mar 19, 2018 12:41 am Title: Chapter 19
I held off reading this update for as long as I could because I had been so excited about reading it, I didn't want to because the sooner I did, the sooner it would be over. I have issues LOL.
The way you wrote Justin and Emmett's meeting was beautiful, there are no other words for it. I hope with time, Justin knows he can trust Emmett again and that he really does have people that love him for who he is, and not just because of who he was fucking or how pretty he is. Hell, Brian loves him, but Justin doesn't know that - Brian only just realised it himself.
Tommy is such a wonderful addition to this story and Emmett is right, he's JUST like Justin :)
Excellent as always, lovely <3
Author's Response:
Ha! I'm the same when reading. Yes, I adore Tommy; and he is just like Justin - that was my whole goal when I created him - to show what Justin could have been if he had had his family's support. I'm really glad you are enjoying the story, my dear. xx
[Report This]Date: Mar 17, 2018 2:57 pm Title: Chapter 19
Awww! I’m so glad Justin is letting Emmett in again. Sweet. TAG
Author's Response:
Thanks hon. x
[Report This]Date: Mar 15, 2018 10:32 pm Title: Chapter 19
I have the feeling that Brian will be the last one Justin will see
Author's Response:
Maybe.... maybe not. *Cheeky grin*
Date: Mar 15, 2018 7:43 pm Title: Chapter 19
Major steps for Emmett: admitting he didn't see that Justin wasn't well and then helping him keep a promise.
It's good for Michael and the gang that he is seeing someone; it won't exonerate him, but it will help him stopping being Brian's dependant.
Author's Response:
A major step for Emmett, but an even bigger one for Justin. :)
Date: Mar 15, 2018 6:17 pm Title: Chapter 19
Holy shit....Emmett is the sweetest friend! He made a simple promise to Justin & kept it. That's a start & Justin won't forget it. Such sweet, subtle touches & movements between Em/Justin, Tommy/Em, Tommy/Justin. I think Justin really wants to let Emmett in & will with time but he breaks my heart....And then of course there's Michael. What a nightmare....at least he's in therapy & has admitted all his wrongdoings but who could blame Brian for wanting to kill him.
Author's Response:
Hi, baby!!
He made a simple promise to Justin & kept it.
That was an important observation; actions speak louder than words, remember... ;)
[Report This]Date: Mar 15, 2018 5:05 pm Title: Chapter 19
Emmett is seeing how cruel he was to dismiss Justin's feelings for Brian and Brian's feelings for Justin (Cause He Did Feel For Him It Was More Than Sex!), he is seeing that words carry so much cruelty and that one person's joke is a knife in another person's heart.
Bringing Tommy to Justin is a reminder of how sacred Justin's innocence we and instead of making him jaded like them, they all should've of embraced & enjoyed that innocence every day.
They all let their pat experiences shape their interactions with others, especially their supposed friendship in this stitched together family, known noticed that their teasing banter were actually knives aimed to cut chunks and their favorite target being Brian Aiden Kinney no one cared how they hurt him with their snide comments because they were too busy seeing the mask he hid behind.
Now Emmett is seeing that hurting someone with thoughts comments doesn't make you superior it just makes you Fugly and taints your soul.
Michael's apology while heartfelt for him doesn't automatically erase his behavior or guarantee that he will be forgiven by Brian and Justin.
Forgiveness needs time and isn't earned by a few tears and empty words.
Everyone needs time to heal and to move forward not back.
Another Tear Filled Chapter :)
Author's Response:
Thanks, honey!!
Forgiveness needs time and isn't earned by a few tears and empty words.
Everyone needs time to heal and to move forward not back.
This... ^^^^^^ Exactly this. They need time. ;)
Date: Mar 15, 2018 2:32 pm Title: Chapter 19
A truly amazing chapter. Your writing is wonderful. Having Michael admit what he did was good, but knowing Michael, we can only hope he is sincere. Having Tommy show Justin what he needs was a great idea and hoping that it is the beginning of Justin healing. I hope this story ends happily for Justin & Brian, but your writing shows me that you will end it in a way that it should be ended. Great job.
Author's Response:
Your writing is wonderful.
*Blushes Thank you!
Having Michael admit what he did was good, but knowing Michael, we can only hope he is sincere.
In this fic, hon, he is 100% sincere.
I hope this story ends happily for Justin & Brian, but your writing shows me that you will end it in a way that it should be ended.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - I have been constantly told that this story feels so real - that's because I write what I know. I've been down this path with my brother, and with my best friend. Depression is a truly ugly bastard, and in my BF case, even though she was in her late teens when it hit, even now, nearly twenty years later, there are still days that she can feel it snapping at her heels.
Unlike the writers of the show, there is no quick fix for Justin in this story. I know a lot of people were shocked when chapters 17 & 18 were put up - but if you re-read the fic from the very start, you can see where those chapters came from. There are seeds in every single chapter I post, that set it up for later chapters. So yes, B/J are endgame... but the ending and the journey to get them there? It will be real. ;) Thanks for your awesome review, hon - I really appreciate it. xx
[Report This]Date: Mar 15, 2018 1:07 pm Title: Chapter 19
Emmett is a sweetheart. That he figured out Tommy was what was needed is something I'm not sure just anyone could do. Tommy is such a special person and he is what Justin could have been if Craig hadn't been such an ass. I do hope Justin finally reaccepts Emmett into his world. Now on to Michael. Even though he's seeing for himself what a cruel person and not the friend he claimed to be I don't see that Justin could forgive and not see the pain he caused each time he looked at Michael.
Author's Response:
Tommy is such a special person and he is what Justin could have been if Craig hadn't been such an ass.
I am so freaking glad that you picked up on that!!
Even though he's seeing for himself what a cruel person and not the friend he claimed to be I don't see that Justin could forgive and not see the pain he caused each time he looked at Michael.
*Cheeky grin* That's what therapy is for!! lol!!
Thanks, honey. xx
[Report This]Date: Mar 10, 2018 5:55 am Title: Chapter 18
You have to stop making me cry I have some history in my family about this kind of pain and desperation
Author's Response:
Makes 2 of us - I've always said write what you know - and this is a subject I know well.
[Report This]Date: Mar 10, 2018 5:16 am Title: Chapter 17
Poor Justin Crying here Thanks a lot
Loving Alex silver haired fox...hope he finds some peace and happiness also
Gotta read on
Author's Response:
Thank you!
[Report This]Date: Mar 10, 2018 4:50 am Title: Chapter 16
This whole thing is so damn sad on we go
Author's Response:
Thank you!
[Report This]Date: Mar 10, 2018 1:56 am Title: Chapter 15
Got to keep reading Bye
Author's Response:
Thank you!
[Report This]Date: Mar 10, 2018 1:30 am Title: Chapter 14
Go get your boy Brian got to keep reading
Author's Response:
Thank you!
[Report This]Date: Mar 10, 2018 12:53 am Title: Chapter 13
Crying here
Author's Response:
*hugs*
[Report This]Date: Mar 10, 2018 12:25 am Title: Chapter 12
great got to keep reading
Author's Response:
Thank you!
[Report This]Date: Mar 09, 2018 11:25 pm Title: Chapter 11
Great chapter
Author's Response:
Thank you!
[Report This]Date: Mar 09, 2018 9:26 am Title: Chapter 10
Intense enjoying your writing
Author's Response:
Thanks, hon. x
[Report This]Date: Mar 09, 2018 9:01 am Title: Chapter 9
Talk about angst
Author's Response:
*Grins*
[Report This]Date: Mar 09, 2018 8:41 am Title: Chapter 8
Brian should just deck Michael the weasel that he is....I have always thought Michael was stupid !
Author's Response:
me too. :)