[Report This]Date: Jan 26, 2022 7:11 am Title: Chapter 27
Everytime Alex says "Justin" or "Oh Justin" my heart breaks a little. And this chapter shows that it's absolutely necessary that they talk!!!! Brian means well, but everything he is doing, his actions, are interpreted differently or incorrectly by Justin because as I wrote before, how could he believe otherwise after everything. And also Brian still hasn't grasped the full extent of the damage...
[Report This]Date: Jun 12, 2018 6:42 pm Title: Chapter 27
Justin, Justin, Justin. I want to cuddle you so hard until all your pain goes away, but I also want to shake you and say, LOOK AT HOW MUCH BRIAN IS TRYING. What will it take for him to see how much he wants to be with him and not just because he's a good fuck?
I hope Alex suggesting Brian change the way he asks Justin out hasn't messed things up.
AHH, you kill me with this story, but I love you for it... unless it ends badly and then I will TAKE YOU TO COURT ;)
Author's Response:
LOL!! I'ma gonna go hide under the bed so you can't find me! *Pokes tongue out*
Justin will open his eyes soon - he won't have a choice. ;)
Date: May 20, 2018 1:40 am Title: Chapter 27
Wow, another powerful chapter. One step forward, two steps back, but one of these days maybe that will change. Terrific writing.
Author's Response:
Thanks, hon, and yeah, it is one step forward, two steps back. I'm glad that you picked up on that. ;)
Date: May 19, 2018 5:12 pm Title: Chapter 27
Holy shit! Omg poor Justin...he's so hurt and in so much pain....he honestly thinks he was, and is still nothing. Nothing to Brian especially. God this breaks my heart! What is the time line here Kerri? How long has it been since the Rage party til now? I'm sure it hasn't been all that long so Justin must have a very long road ahead of him still. Having Brian in the next session would be so good for both of them but also very hard and painful yet something they clearly have to go through to move forward.
So glad to hear he's having better relationships with most of the gang! Real progress. Love love love this story so much! Even though at times it can be so heartbreaking...
Author's Response:
Thanks, babe!! Timeline wise for this fic;
Rage party happened and four days later is when Justin tried to take his life.
Brian found out about his attempt three months after the Rage party.
Justin discharges himself from the unit three months after Brian finds out. By the time the next chapter goes up, it has been roughly seven months since the Rage party, and Justin's attempt. If you remember, after chapter 10, which is when the boys meet up at Boytoy, Justin then stops going to his sessions and avoids everyone for five weeks. Then he is put into the hospital for several more weeks. So it's a flow on effect, instead of a jarring jump. As for the road that Justin is on, it is a long one, and at the moment, still very bumpy.
When my BF was battling depression, at her lowest point, she was like Justin for nine months; her recovery is what I am basing Justin's on. The ups and downs, the steps back and forth. That nasty little voice whispering lies in his head... she got through that period in time by sheer grit and determination, and even now, over fifteen years later, she still feels it snapping at her heels some days. That is why this fic not only reads as 'real' but why it is so hard for me to write at times; it's because I've lived it. I've got the mental scarring that matches hers. But, she's my girl; I love everything about her, from her foul mouth to that dark little cloud that hangs above her head. And that's never gonna change. *Shrugs*
Date: May 19, 2018 8:47 am Title: Chapter 27
What a sad depressing chapter! This said, it's because Justin is finally letting out the things that hurt him the most and he must face Brian and tell him that, even if Brian must know it, he can't imagine how bad it hurt Justin; they must be together in a session and deal with the elephant in the room. Then, as Alex said, they can move forward.
Even with the sad parts, we can see that Justin is getting better as he spent quality time with Debbie, Vic, Mel, Gus and Brian.
Author's Response:
One step forward, two steps back. He is getting better, but he is also starting to backslide. That's the reality of depression, babe.
[Report This]Date: May 19, 2018 5:59 am Title: Chapter 27
Like I said, this is so heartbreakingly sad. And emotional. I can empathize with your Justin, so strongly. Quick, write me something happy... TAG
*Panics*... *something happy*... I don't do happy, Tag!! I do rip your guts out angst! Oh!! I did funny on that thread the other day!! But happy and funny...Ummm... Oh!! What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? .... .... .... Wipes his ass! Did that help? Lol!!! Thanks, babe. xx ******* Yep. That helped. I just guffawed out loud in public at that one. Thanks.TAG
Author's Response:
[Report This]Date: May 19, 2018 5:59 am Title: Chapter 27
Like I said, this is so heartbreakingly sad. And emotional. I can empathize with your Justin, so strongly. Quick, write me something happy... TAG
Author's Response:
:)
[Report This]Date: May 19, 2018 4:51 am Title: Chapter 27
I think this is the most powerful chapter yet. Well done.
Saje
Author's Response:
Thanks, Saje, I appreciate it. xx
[Report This]Date: May 19, 2018 3:31 am Title: Chapter 27
Wow! A lot of talk with Alex. I hope that Justin tells Brian how he felt toward the end of their relationship, because that is what it was even if Brian didn't know it.
Author's Response:
He will, and Brian's rock bottom? That's coming. Does he really want honesty? He's gonna get it.
[Report This]Date: May 19, 2018 3:27 am Title: Chapter 27
Oh Justin!!!!
He is refusing to see the truth because he just won't allow himself to be hurt again, but the truth is a flashing neon sign over his head, and try as he might Justin can't make it stop flashing.
In some small way Brian inadvertently turned Justin into him and he really Never Wanted Justin to be him.
Brian wanted Justin to be a Better Version if him who can love completely without fear.
Gus and Justin are the reason why Brian can love its just that The Family didn't want to believe that Brian could love anyone, but Gus and Justin owned a part of Brian's heart that no one could touch, for some that brought out their jealous side and for others it brought out surprise and fear.
I think Alex may be doing the right thing by having Brian be at the next session, Justin needs to let out the pain so can see who he is now and what Brian is becoming.
No More Denial, Justin has to let it go or he will sink again, it's time for Justin to unburden his heart and breathe again.
Besides he already admitted to Alex he is still in love with Brian and until they talk then he will never heal or feel normal again.
Yes I got teary-eyed lol
Thanks for the update :)
Author's Response:
In some small way, Brian inadvertently turned Justin into him
Nailed it. ;)