[Report This]Date: Jun 10, 2018 12:43 am Title: Chapter 26
TOMMY IS GARDNER'S SON????????? I didn't see that coming, but I bloody love that that little twist you threw in there.
I worry about how little Justin is trusting Brian. Like I get it, but my heart is worried he will never trust him again :(
Author's Response:
LOl, I got that reaction a lot. But as I have said before, if you go back over certain chapters, there are hints or seeds as I call them, planted in every chapter as to what is to come. In this case, it was in the chapter that introduces Tommy, and also in the chapter where Emmett offers to find Tommy for Justin - Justin gives you his full name - Tommy Vance. ;)
Justin will eventually trust Brian, and it will because of Tommy and Gardner - think about what era the fic is in, and why Tommy and Gardner are so important. ;)
[Report This]Date: Jun 10, 2018 12:28 am Title: Chapter 25
I wish Justin could see how much Brian has changed, how he wants him for more than just his ass, but he is so damaged from EVERYTHING that it's gonna take time. I just hope Justin allows Brian to show him he's changed, and to see he's being genuine. This story makes my heart hurt LOL
Author's Response:
*Hugs you*
Gonne hurt more soon hon. But Justin will eventually open his eyes.
[Report This]Date: Jun 10, 2018 12:11 am Title: Chapter 24
So many feels, the end of this chapter just gave me such warm fuzzies. Brian is so patient with him and I love that he is willing to do anything to prove to Justin just how much he's changed and what he'd do to get him to see that they're friends.
I loved that Jennifer came in and saw how well Brian was taking care of Justin, but also how well he was responding to him. She needed to see that herself I think, to know that Brian may have been a complete dick at one time, his heart and brain are now in the right place.
Author's Response:
They are in the right place, hon. But does Justin know that?
[Report This]Date: Jun 09, 2018 11:50 pm Title: Chapter 23
I know I am in love with a story when I can read an entire chapter where Brian or Justin isn't in it... or where it's about two completely original characters. I honestly usually don't like to invest too much of my time into reading about OC, which makes me sound bad, but I find I never warm up to them that much... but these boys, It's like I needed to know what happened and whether or not that guy was winding Tommy up etc <3
Author's Response:
Lol, I'm glad you like my o/c's. They are important, as you now know, to the fic as a whole. ;)
[Report This]Date: Jun 09, 2018 11:40 pm Title: Chapter 22
That picture was so worth it. now I know who I am picturing in my mind, and what is scary is, I was pretty damn close to how I saw them.
I knew the moment Jennifer mentioned Craig that something like this would happen. Justin isn't ready to even think about his father. Ethan was right in getting Alex to call Brian. He knows how to look after his boy, it may have taken him long enough, but he knows what Justin needs now.
It's great that because of all of this, Brian has found a friend in Emmett and Ted. That he's changed too. He had to.
Author's Response:
Change is good and in this case, good. And I'm glad you like the pictures. ;)
Date: Jun 09, 2018 11:26 pm Title: Chapter 29
Wow, another powerful chapter. It is so easy to feel Justin's pain in your writing. Great job.
Author's Response:
Thanks, hon. x
[Report This]Date: Jun 09, 2018 5:14 pm Title: Chapter 29
Don't know how to stop the tears all this pain Justin is feeling is consuming him to the point that he can't breathe and every time he tries to find some good clean air it gets tainted by pains of the past.
Craig will Never Apologize but maybe Justin getting his anger out will help?
Brian and Jennifer have so much to apologise for cause they took Justin's trust and threw it back in his face every chance they got.
No one wanted to see that Justin needed help they just wanted things to go back to the way it was before Chris Hobbs swung that bat.
Michael's apology even an attempt won't be able to heal the pain he enjoyed inflicting because Brian didn't choose him, but maybe Justin confronting him and getting the pain out could help Justin.
The weight of all this pain Justin is carrying needs to be unburden and until he talks, yells, screams and cries it all out he will never move past it.
Brian also has to unburden himself the same way or else he will never feel clean and free to say the words Justin needs to hear and believe, plus he will never break the cycle Jack and Joan cursed him with.
Thanks for the Update :)
Author's Response:
Thanks, hon.
Date: Jun 09, 2018 5:13 pm Title: Chapter 29
I'm going to start off by saying, I love your story. Me and my Mother have some of the most heated debates after each chapter. I'm more sympathetic towards Brian and my Mother is a total Justin girl. While I believe this story leans towards being a bashing Brian story. I understand he is to blame for a lot of Justin's problems, but when is everyone else Justin included going to start taking some of the blame. I feel the way this chapter ended that Alex was maybe headed to confront someone, probably Brian. If that's the case then Alex needs to stop being Brian's therapist, because I feel that would unethical. He probably doesn't need to be both of their therapist anyway. I also think Brian is in a damned if I do, damned if I don't situation. If he stays around he is going to be emotionally trashed for everything wrong in Justin's world. But if he goes and leaves Justin alone, it will just prove everything Justin said is true, Brian never cared about him. Once again don't think I dislike your story, because I don't, I love it. It makes me think and I love stories that do that. I looking forward to your next chapter.
Author's Response:
Believe me, this isn't headed towards a Brian bashing. What happened between Brian and Justin was ugly, but the "blame" lays elsewhere. Justin isn't without fault in this, and at this point, he is still blind to what is happening around him. His eyes will be opened sooner than you think. ;) And I'm glad this fic makes you think - that's all I have ever wanted when I write a story, is that it makes people feel and think, so if you are doing that when you read, then I am doing what I set out to do. And the fact that you and your Mum are debating this makes me grin. So thanks, hon, I appreciate your honesty. xx
Date: Jun 09, 2018 3:40 pm Title: Chapter 29
Holy shit....one step forward, three steps back. Those damn voices in our heads sometimes, so completely tragic....Justin is so self-destructive. Alex was so thoughtful and compassionate, more than just a therapist. He's a wonderful therapist but he was really being Justin's friend too.
I can understand Alex approaching Jennifer & Brian in regards to apologizing to Justin but Craig never will, which is another tragedy in itself. I can also understand his anger. Christ, I'm angry and these are fictional characters! You are one of the BEST writers out there Kerri! Love your work....
Author's Response:
THanks, babe!!
[Report This]Date: Jun 09, 2018 12:45 pm Title: Chapter 29
Michael needs to be punished for what he's caused.
Author's Response:
Yes, he does.
Date: May 30, 2018 1:43 am Title: Chapter 28
Simply. Perfect.
Author's Response:
Thanks, hon. x
Date: May 29, 2018 8:35 pm Title: Chapter 28
Holy shit.....our poor boys....oh my God! The tears and heartbreak are killing me! 😔😕😓 I have no more words.....
Author's Response:
Thanks, hon. x
Date: May 29, 2018 3:30 pm Title: Chapter 28
Very cathartic. Great job. TAG
Author's Response:
Thanks, hon. x
Date: May 29, 2018 2:46 pm Title: Chapter 28
What an emotional chapter!!! Amazing job.
Brian is right: they are not out of the wood yet, but they are on the ascending part or at its beginning.
I love the way Brian didn't let Justin get away and held him tight; Justin's hands speak for him: even if he wanted, he couldn't not touch Brian in this so intimate and raw moment.
His confession about how Brian treated him was a hard one, but so true: Brian could be so cruel.
The part about Gus and Justin was wonderfully written too. It's great that Brian is aware of this important link for both of his boys.
Author's Response:
Thanks, hon. x
[Report This]Date: May 29, 2018 4:01 am Title: Chapter 28
Brian has finally let the truth come out, let's hope Justin believes him.
Author's Response:
Thanks, hon. x
[Report This]Date: May 29, 2018 3:59 am Title: Chapter 28
Why, Why, Why Did The Show Gloss Over Such A Sensitive Time In Brian and Justin's Life, why did they just ignore the trauma of the bashing for more Michael whining and the girls insipid fighting and relationship?
Perhaps if they had given consideration to the pain Chris Hobbs inflicted that night, and how Brian and Justin needed to face this pain perhaps we wouldn't have gotten such a tepid season four and a dull season five.
Brian opening up and letting Justin lash out so they can heal is what they should've done when Justin came to live with Brian.
This is another good start for them cause without any pointless interruptions they are taking away that pain of past.
Justin holding on tightly to Brian while they both cry is a soothing balm to the cuts on both their hearts.
Thanks :)
Author's Response:
Thanks, hon. x
Date: May 29, 2018 2:14 am Title: Chapter 28
What an amazing chapter. Your writing is beyond incredible. The detail of all that happened is amazing, but you really made the readers feel all the things that Justin felt because of Brian's beliefs. And, having Brian finally realize just how horrible he had been by hiding his feelings was perfect. I hope that this is the start of a turning point and maybe, just maybe a happy ending will come. Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts !!!!
Author's Response:
Thanks, hon. x
Date: May 20, 2018 1:40 am Title: Chapter 27
Wow, another powerful chapter. One step forward, two steps back, but one of these days maybe that will change. Terrific writing.
Author's Response:
Thanks, hon, and yeah, it is one step forward, two steps back. I'm glad that you picked up on that. ;)
Date: May 19, 2018 5:12 pm Title: Chapter 27
Holy shit! Omg poor Justin...he's so hurt and in so much pain....he honestly thinks he was, and is still nothing. Nothing to Brian especially. God this breaks my heart! What is the time line here Kerri? How long has it been since the Rage party til now? I'm sure it hasn't been all that long so Justin must have a very long road ahead of him still. Having Brian in the next session would be so good for both of them but also very hard and painful yet something they clearly have to go through to move forward.
So glad to hear he's having better relationships with most of the gang! Real progress. Love love love this story so much! Even though at times it can be so heartbreaking...
Author's Response:
Thanks, babe!! Timeline wise for this fic;
Rage party happened and four days later is when Justin tried to take his life.
Brian found out about his attempt three months after the Rage party.
Justin discharges himself from the unit three months after Brian finds out. By the time the next chapter goes up, it has been roughly seven months since the Rage party, and Justin's attempt. If you remember, after chapter 10, which is when the boys meet up at Boytoy, Justin then stops going to his sessions and avoids everyone for five weeks. Then he is put into the hospital for several more weeks. So it's a flow on effect, instead of a jarring jump. As for the road that Justin is on, it is a long one, and at the moment, still very bumpy.
When my BF was battling depression, at her lowest point, she was like Justin for nine months; her recovery is what I am basing Justin's on. The ups and downs, the steps back and forth. That nasty little voice whispering lies in his head... she got through that period in time by sheer grit and determination, and even now, over fifteen years later, she still feels it snapping at her heels some days. That is why this fic not only reads as 'real' but why it is so hard for me to write at times; it's because I've lived it. I've got the mental scarring that matches hers. But, she's my girl; I love everything about her, from her foul mouth to that dark little cloud that hangs above her head. And that's never gonna change. *Shrugs*
Date: May 19, 2018 8:47 am Title: Chapter 27
What a sad depressing chapter! This said, it's because Justin is finally letting out the things that hurt him the most and he must face Brian and tell him that, even if Brian must know it, he can't imagine how bad it hurt Justin; they must be together in a session and deal with the elephant in the room. Then, as Alex said, they can move forward.
Even with the sad parts, we can see that Justin is getting better as he spent quality time with Debbie, Vic, Mel, Gus and Brian.
Author's Response:
One step forward, two steps back. He is getting better, but he is also starting to backslide. That's the reality of depression, babe.
[Report This]Date: May 19, 2018 5:59 am Title: Chapter 27
Like I said, this is so heartbreakingly sad. And emotional. I can empathize with your Justin, so strongly. Quick, write me something happy... TAG
*Panics*... *something happy*... I don't do happy, Tag!! I do rip your guts out angst! Oh!! I did funny on that thread the other day!! But happy and funny...Ummm... Oh!! What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? .... .... .... Wipes his ass! Did that help? Lol!!! Thanks, babe. xx ******* Yep. That helped. I just guffawed out loud in public at that one. Thanks.TAG
Author's Response:
[Report This]Date: May 19, 2018 5:59 am Title: Chapter 27
Like I said, this is so heartbreakingly sad. And emotional. I can empathize with your Justin, so strongly. Quick, write me something happy... TAG
Author's Response:
:)
[Report This]Date: May 19, 2018 4:51 am Title: Chapter 27
I think this is the most powerful chapter yet. Well done.
Saje
Author's Response:
Thanks, Saje, I appreciate it. xx
[Report This]Date: May 19, 2018 3:31 am Title: Chapter 27
Wow! A lot of talk with Alex. I hope that Justin tells Brian how he felt toward the end of their relationship, because that is what it was even if Brian didn't know it.
Author's Response:
He will, and Brian's rock bottom? That's coming. Does he really want honesty? He's gonna get it.
[Report This]Date: May 19, 2018 3:27 am Title: Chapter 27
Oh Justin!!!!
He is refusing to see the truth because he just won't allow himself to be hurt again, but the truth is a flashing neon sign over his head, and try as he might Justin can't make it stop flashing.
In some small way Brian inadvertently turned Justin into him and he really Never Wanted Justin to be him.
Brian wanted Justin to be a Better Version if him who can love completely without fear.
Gus and Justin are the reason why Brian can love its just that The Family didn't want to believe that Brian could love anyone, but Gus and Justin owned a part of Brian's heart that no one could touch, for some that brought out their jealous side and for others it brought out surprise and fear.
I think Alex may be doing the right thing by having Brian be at the next session, Justin needs to let out the pain so can see who he is now and what Brian is becoming.
No More Denial, Justin has to let it go or he will sink again, it's time for Justin to unburden his heart and breathe again.
Besides he already admitted to Alex he is still in love with Brian and until they talk then he will never heal or feel normal again.
Yes I got teary-eyed lol
Thanks for the update :)
Author's Response:
In some small way, Brian inadvertently turned Justin into him
Nailed it. ;)