Justin looked over his shoulder, even though he knew damned well that he was alone in the house; but he couldn’t help the guilt welling up inside as he logged onto his laptop. It was a silly reaction, but he knew that he was doing something that Brian specifically told him not to do, and he just couldn’t help himself.

Ever since Brian had mentioned the website, he’d just had to see it for himself.

And besides, he was a fucking adult; he could decide for his own damn self what he should and should not be viewing.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he pulled up Google, and quickly typed in the name of the article that Brian had mentioned, since he didn’t know the actual url - 12 Terrifying Christmas-Themed Sex Toys. Thankfully with such a precise search parameter, the article he wanted was the first link on the page; he clicked it and chuckled when he realized that the writer had set the list to lyrics of the Twelve Days of Christmas.

Humming the tune under his breath, Justin scrolled down to the first couple of entries and snorted, nearly spraying his coffee all over the screen. Choking on his coffee and laughter, he struggled to breath as he stared at the candy cane inspired dick sock and the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer g-string - that even played music!

He shook his head and couldn’t fathom who would ever wear something like that, but he still didn’t see what was so wrong that Brian warned him that it was filled with things never meant to be seen. Although again, with the clothes horse his husband was, he could see why he’d horrified by both articles of ‘clothing’ - if you could call them that.

Although, it did give him an idea.

Feeling braver, Justin continued down the list, still humming that inane tune under his breath as he went. On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me… Christ. He was going to have the song stuck in his head for the rest of the night.

The third day’s listing of an elf-shaped vibrator was...interesting. And disturbing. Very disturbing. Justin shuddered at the thought it coming anywhere near his body, but he trooped on, because as weird as that was, it wasn’t all that bad. Plus day four’s tingling jelly could be a lot of fun if used right. He might have to look that up later.

When Justin got to the fifth day however, he blanched and stared. And then stared some more to make sure he was seeing things right. Because really, what? Who on Earth would want a bright pink cock ring with a bell attached to it? A visual of Brian parading around in one, the bell jingling as he walked filled Justin’s mind and doubled over in laughter. Yeah, he was glad that Brian created his own cock ring because he’d never be able to take him seriously after that.

As for the sixth day, well...there was nothing wrong with it per se. Lube was lube and they’ve enjoyed flavored lubes of all kinds in their sexual adventures and misadventures. But gingerbread? He liked it on occasion, but too much and he started feeling nauseous, so that would be a big no as well.

Running to throw up while he was sucking Brian’s cock would not go over well.

Scrolling down to the seventh day, Justin stomach went a little wonky. Because really, that was just wrong. And definitely something he couldn’t unsee. Especially as he just went with Carl to pick up his Santa costume that morning. And seeing a Santa dildo made him think of things he never wanted to imagine when it came to Deb’s and Carl’s sex life. That was a road no self-respecting gay boy wanted to travel.

The mistletoe condoms however were fucking hilarious. He was tempted to load up on those and hang a few in the loft for after the Christmas Jingle Balls Extravaganza at Babylon on Christmas night. He was quite certain this was a Christmas tradition that Brian could get behind.

Literally.

The Frosty the Snowman paddles and candy cane shaped dildos really didn’t bear much commentary as far as he was concerned. Although, he did admit he would never view one of his favorite Christmas cartoons in quite the same way again. And the Santa hat underwear were odd, but again nothing to write home about.

He really couldn’t see what the big fuss was all about really.

He'd guess that, yeah, some of it was a little over the top, and even cringe worthy, but he wasn’t seeing anything that would be considered overly scarring the way Brian said it would be.

And then he reached day twelve.

And really, day twelve was in a whole other league of it’s own.

Justin stared and then stared some more, but his brain simply refused to comprehend what it was seeing. How...what...who would even…? He couldn’t even fathom the thought process behind this toy, because really, he’s wasn’t even religious and he can’t help feeling that it was blasphemous. Not to mention who in their right minds would to stuff a...no he just could even think it. It was beyond horrifying.

Justin shuddered, and looked away, desperately hoping that he’d seen that wrong. But nope; when he looked back it was still there. He reached out a hand to slam the top of his laptop down, unable to look anymore, when a hand grabbed his and stopped him.

Looking up, he cringed when he saw Brian standing there staring at him, one brow raised. He looked at Justin and then looked at the screen and sighed in exasperation. He turned back to Justin and gave him a look.

"Maybe I should get one of those Frosty paddles to spank you with for not heeding my warning the first time," Brian said with a smirk.

And that brought back the disturbing thoughts from earlier of Frosty telling the policeman to bend over to receive his proper punishment and yeah, his mind went places it should never go.

“Oh, God…” Justin said, and then shuddered again as he realized what he said and the implications based on what he’d seen. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I need to lay down.”

“I told you not to look,” Brian snickered as Justin nearly ran from the room in his haste to get away from the computer.

The next time Brian told him not to go there he was definitely listening.