Brian finished checking the loft, making sure lights were out and alarm systems were on. He had never been paranoid or overly cautious before, but if anything else happened to Justin he knew he wouldn't be able to bear it. Besides, the feeling that either he or Justin or both of them were being watched had grown stronger with every passing day. He had always trusted his instincts before, and he had the feeling he should do so this time too. Maybe it was time he found out for sure.

Once he felt fully secure, he quietly took the steps up into his bedroom. He saw Justin lying on his side of the bed, wrapped in the covers and scrunched up in a fetal position. It broke his heart. Justin was a spirit of joy and freedom, and for him to be frightened like this... made to feel helpless... was just plain wrong. He was sure the young man would bounce back from the attack, but he was already scarred for life. They still didn't have all the facts yet, but the news would probably have them by morning. The authorities did reveal that at least a half dozen people were killed and many more wounded. What kind of demented bastards would do such a thing just to stop the making of a a single movie? Brian had seen homophobia in many of its guises in his thirty plus years, but nothing came close to this.

Brian removed his clothes and let them fall to the side of the bed. He climbed in beside Justin, laying his arm protectively over the young man's chest. Justin wasn't asleep after all. He turned around and came face to face with Brian. His eyes were haunted with dark circles under them as if he hadn't slept in years. Brian leaned in and kissed the blond tenderly, letting his lips rest against Justin's for several long minutes. Finally he pulled back.

"Brian? Why did they do it? How can they hate us so much they want us all dead?" Justin's eyes began to cloud over with unshed tears.

"Shhhh," Brian quieted the young man. "There are no answers, Justin. Madness and stupidity can't explain itself. It just is. All we can do is hope they'll be caught soon and punished in a way they deserve. I'm just so fucking grateful that you weren't there when it happened. I don't think I could have taken it if you'd been hurt or killed."

Justin sniffled briefly and Brian could see he was forcing himself to take back control of his emotions. Brian was so damned proud of Justin. He knew a lesser man would have run away and never looked back or just crumbled completely. They lay there for several minutes, lost in their own thoughts. Justin broke the silence.

"It was my Dad, you know. I mean, I would have probably been killed or at least hurt badly if it hadn't been for my Dad."

"How's that?" Brian asked, with heavy skepticism in his voice.

"I wasn't at the studio at lunchtime because of my father, Brian. I didn't tell you when you called cause I wanted to surprise you, but he called my cell and invited me for lunch to try and make up with me. He was absolutely insistent on it." Justin shuddered involuntarily. "I even tried to get him to wait till later since it was so last minute when he called, but he insisted he couldn't wait a minute longer. He wanted to work things out as quickly as possible. Just imagine what would have happened if I had put him off." Justin shuddered again.

"So where did you go?"

"Well, he made it so spur of the moment that I didn't have much time. I had to get an extra half hour from Brett just to be able to go at all, so we couldn't go far. Actually, Dad asked to go somewhere close by so we went to Willy's Diner a couple of blocks away. We'd barely been there a half hour when we heard the explosion. He tried to keep me from going back to the studio, but I shook him off and ran back. That's when I saw how bad it really was. I think he followed me back, but I didn't have time to stop and find out what was going on with him. I saw Jimmy coming out hurt. I had to help him instead. I haven't heard anything from him since."

"Do you think he saw you getting into the ambulance?"

"I'm pretty sure he did. Why?"

"I don't know, Justin. It's just curious that he didn't try to find you at the hospital or just call you maybe. You said he called your cell so he knows the number."

Justin looked puzzled. He hadn't thought about that at all. He had been too upset over his friends and colleagues being hurt to worry about what his dad might be thinking. But the more he thought about it, the more he wondered why his dad didn't follow him. He did know his son wasn't hurt... true enough... but if he cared about his son so much, wouldn't he want to make sure he was alright emotionally too? It was a nagging question.

Brian saw the conflicting pain that his words were causing Justin and it wounded him to the core. At that moment, all he wanted was to take the pain away.

"If this was a deliberate act of sabotage to destroy your film perpetrated by homophobes, then they haven't won Justin."

Justin looked at Brian with surprise and tensed up.

"I don't give a damn about the movie right now, Brian. People were hurt and killed."

"No, no! That's not what I'm saying. It doesn't matter whether the movie is made or not. They think a blow like that will destroy our family, our community. Maybe something like that would have scared everyone back in the closet in the past... but no more Justin. No more! They can knock us down, but we'll get right back up... bigger and stronger than ever. Being gay isn't something to be ashamed of or to hide away like a deformity of the soul. As long as they don't make you ashamed of who you are then they've won nothing with their terrorist attacks. That's what I meant."

Justin felt himself relaxing just a tiny bit. He placed his hand on Brian's beloved face. He ran his slender artist's fingers slowly along Brian's cheek, stopping at the man's full lips. He traced the lips he loved so passionately, marveling at the sensuousness of them. Brian kissed the fingers as they lingered there.

"Brian," he said softly, "I want you to make love to me. I want you to make me glad the bastards didn't get me... glad to be alive. I want you to remind me why I'm proud to be gay and why I'll never want to deny it... or you." He waited several heartbeats and then added, "I love you and they can't kill that either."

Brian seldom got choked up about anything in life. His son's birth was one of the few times he ever felt this kind of feeling he was experiencing now. It was scary as hell. He was still too frightened of what it could mean to his life to give the feeling a name, but he was no longer afraid to let it wash over him... to embrace it. He reached up for Justin's hand and pulled the palm up to his lips. He kissed the palm, softly at first and then with more pressure. He let his tongue dart out so that he could taste Justin's skin.

Justin let out a deep sigh. Brian threw back the covers, exposing their close bodies. He got up on his knees and moved down to Justin's legs. He reached for the young man's underwear, pulling it down by the elastic band. He tossed the pants to the side. Brian rose up over Justin's body placing one long leg on each side of his lover's thighs. He lay above Justin, looking down into his beautiful face. He slowly lowered himself down until his face was only inches from Justin's. Justin reached over to the side table nearest him and fished out a condom from the bowl lying there.

"I want to feel you inside me, filling me up... making me whole again. Please Brian."

Brian was already as hard as a steel pipe. He scrunched upwards just enough for Justin to reach him and slide the condom down his length. Justin finished his task and reached up to touch a nipple with both hands. He rubbed the soft pads of his thumbs against Brian's buds until each one stood out in a hard peak like the pride between his legs. Brian scrunched back into position and lowered his upper body again so that he was face to face with his lover once more. This time he let himself fall downwards so that their lips met. The heat built as the friction increased on their touching torsos, while their lips refused to part from each other even to breathe.

Justin reached up, running his hands up and down Brian's arms that supported his body on each side of Justin's chest. Justin could feel the muscles straining there as the older man kept himself from crushing the smaller man below him. The feel of Brian's masculine lips on his, combined with the feel of the man's muscular arms under his fingertips, made Justin feel safe for the first time since that shattering explosion. The fear that had been gripping his heart and silently squeezing it began to dissipate. Here, laying underneath this beautiful man, he knew that he was in the right place. He was where he belonged... where he would always belong. Brian was right. Justin would never run and hide from those cowards.

Brian could feel the tension easing from Justin's body as his mouth opened up to him. He loved the taste of Justin...always had, since that very first kiss. Brian began exploring the soft warm mouth. He could hear the soft groans of pleasure begin to sneak past the invading tongue. Justin reached up and grabbed the back of Brian's head, loving the feel of the thick brown locks as they slipped between his fingers. Eventually Brian released Justin's lips and began a gentle trail from the young man's lips to his face, his neck, his chest.

Brian paid particular attention to the pale brown buds on Justin's chest. As he felt Justin's hands ruffling through his hair, Brian bent to each bud individually and gave it full measure. He circled the tips slowly with his practiced tongue and then licked them hard, suddenly sucking them into his mouth where his teeth gently nipped at them. Flashes of light pricked Justin's eyes behind his closed lids. He whimpered.

When Brian completed that task, he moved downwards. As he reached the end of Justin's pale pleasure trail to the surprisingly large cock for such a small man, Brian began to lick the tumescent shaft as if it were a favorite ice cream cone. He stuck his tongue into the slit at the tip, probing for the flavor of Justin that he enjoyed best. He was rewarded immediately with several drops. The salty sweet taste flooded Brian's senses, spurring him on. Suddenly he rose up, sat back on his haunches and grabbed Justin's legs. He threw them over his broad shoulders.

Justin gasped out loud when Brian swiftly wet his fingers and began to play around Justin's exposed hole. When he felt the muscles relaxing a little Brian began to invade the hole with first one, then another finger. He felt the ring of muscle contracting, then expanding to allow further access. Once Brian could comfortably insert three fingers, he began to scissor them around and explore. The sound of guttural moans above him signaled that Justin was ready.

Brian removed his fingers, grabbed his own shaft and placed it on target. He pushed in just enough. Justin let out a soft mewling sound.

"Oh yes, Brian. Please.... more!" he moaned.

Brian pushed himself further into the depths. He stopped, giving Justin time to adjust. Then pushed until he could feel his balls resting against Justin's smooth ass cheeks. He wrapped his arms around the blond's thighs, reaching for Justin's cock. He began stroking in and out of his lovers body while stroking up and down on his cock. The building pleasure in both their bodies seemed to reach higher and higher plateaus with every movement. Justin wanted it to go on forever. He wanted to die like this someday...underneath Brian and bringing the man untold joy. But eventually the body could take no more. They could both feel themselves on the verge of climax at the same time. They couldn't hold back the sounds of sexual release that poured from them at the same time that Brian filled the condom head and Justin filled up Brian's hand.

Only after the last spurt of pleasure shook their bodies did the men become unattached. Brian reluctantly pulled out of Justin's comforting warmth, stripped the condom off, and laid back down beside his lover, grabbing a small hand towel on the night stand to wipe his hand. He wasted no time in gathering the young man to him again. Justin rested his head in the crook of Brian's arm, smelling the musky manly odor of Brian's exertions. It flowed through him and he breathed more deeply. Slowly his heart rate returned to normal. He placed tiny kisses alongside Brian's underarm.

Brian raised Justin's face to his. He moved in for another soulful kiss. When they parted, Brian was pleased to see that Justin was back to his old self. The fear and uncertainty that had hung over him like a dark cloud was gone. He knew Justin was going to be alright now. He also knew Justin would need every ounce of strength in him very soon. Brian wasn't really a hundred percent certain yet, but he had a sick sinking feeling inside him that the story behind the explosion was going to cause Justin a lot of pain. Tomorrow, Brian was going to start the ball rolling. If his suspicions were correct, there was one man in town who was going to regret he was ever born. A part of him prayed that certain events were just coincidences, but if not....

Brian held Justin even closer. Justin sighed deeply. He was safe... he was home. Whatever the future might hold, this moment in time was what mattered. Brian had been there for him when he needed him most. He knew the man always would be. That was enough for now.

To be continued........