Michael isn’t sure what to say right now. What can he say? Congratulations? Why the fuck weren’t you more careful? Don’t worry, you’ll still be young and beautiful, even when your belly is so big that waddling will be a challenge? When the fuck did you start bottoming again? Didn’t you give up your occasional dabbling on the other side before you hit 20?

But he can’t ask any of those things. All he can do is quack.

He feels Ben stroke his feathers. Ben knows just what to do when he’s stressed out over something.

“Brian, you really need to tell me what’s going on,” Justin orders, gripping onto the man’s shoulder.

Brian wipes his eyes and lurches away from Justin’s touch. After a couple of breaths, he sits up straight and clears his throat.

“We found out what happened to Michael,” Brian says in a strangled tone, “And we found out his problem can be fixed so we don’t need your help. I don’t need your help. Go on back to the big city, Sonny Boy.”

Justin stares at the man with wide eyes before standing up out of his chair so quickly that it falls over.

“Fuck you,” Justin grits out as he vibrates with rage, “Fuck you, Brian! You are such a fucking asshole. Why wouldn’t you tell me something like this? Why wouldn’t you tell anyone that this could happen to you?”

Brian looks at Justin with an eyebrow raised as though he can’t believe that Justin doesn’t know why.

Michael is surprised when Justin turns to look at him accusingly, “Did you know?”

“Quack!” Michael tells him, offended. He may have been able to keep his mouth shut if he had known Brian could get pregnant but he would have called Justin if he knew Brian planned on keeping an actual pregnancy from him. He isn’t that much of an asshole.

“Neither of us knew,” Ben translates for him, “I honestly didn’t know this was possible...Brian, are you transgen-”

The look that Brian gives Ben is enough to silence him.

“Ben,” Brian prompts with a deadly calm voice, “Did my cock feel fake when I fucked you for a whole weekend at the White Party?”

Michael bites back a quackish groan as Ben blushes and mutters, “Fair point. Intersex then?”

“Depends on your definition,” Marilyn says from her seat, “Brian...Brian is physically above the constrictions that keep the male and female sexes separate. So in a way, you may be onto something.”

“Just shut the fuck up, Marilyn,” Brian orders standing up, “I’m leaving.”

“You can’t just go after you drop something like at!” Debbie yells, standing up as well.

“Brian, are you sure this isn’t just one big misunderstanding?” Lindsay asks nervously, “I mean, come on. You don’t even bottom.”

The room mutters in agreement and it’s the first time of the whole night that Justin looks almost amused but he stays quiet.

“I’m coming with you then,” Justin says softly but in a tone that leaves very little room for argument, “We need to talk, Brian. Straighten things out and start planning-”

Brian scoffs in the man’s face, “Actually, we don’t need to talk, Sunshine. We don’t need to do anything. We’re broken up, remember?”

“Only because you came to New York just to call things off! You weren’t even at my apartment for two minutes! Did I mention how much of a fucking asshole you are? I begged for you to stay and work things out. I told you I wanted to come home. And you told me it didn’t matter because you didn’t feel anything for me anymore. That we wouldn’t be together even if I moved back to Pittsburgh. You are such a fucking-”

Brian takes a step towards him, glaring. But then, he puts a classic Kinney smirk in place.

“Did you ever consider that maybe I broke things off because someone else caught my attention? Maybe I let someone else fuck me? Hell, maybe I let them do it all the time. And just maybe, Sunshine, you aren’t the father. Ever think of that?”

The room stays quiet as Justin glares at Brian. He doesn’t think that the two are even aware that the rest of them are still in the room. They are too focused on each other. He knows that if Brian weren’t pregnant and bouncing back and forth from one emotional spectrum to another, Justin would probably consider punching Brian in the face. Michael wouldn’t blame him.

“That’s such bullshit!” Justin says harshly, “You and I both know they are mine. What were you planning on doing, if not letting me be a father to them?” Were you going to get an abortion?”

Brian gulps, “No, I couldn’t do that. Not...not with our kids.”

“Then what? Give them up for adoption?”

“No. I was going to go away for a year or so. Out of the country. Give birth to him-her-….them there. After I recovered and got their papers sorted, I would come back and say I adopted them as a single parent. From Switzerland or somewhere.”

Justin gapes at him and then does something unexpected. He starts laughing.

“You do realize,” Justin gasps out between laughs, “That the idea of you leaving the country to adopt a set of twins because you wanted to be a single father is even less believable than you being pregnant right?”

Brian glares, “I was still working on the story. And that was only if the brats came out looking exactly like you. If they looked like me then I was going to say I got drunk and fucked a woman who wanted nothing to do with them after they were born.”

“Because that’s so much more believable,” Justin spits out before getting emotional, “Do you hate me? Why are you so set on doing this alone?”

Brian doesn’t answer and heads for the door. He turns his head to look at Justin when he opens the door.

“Just go back to New York, Sunshine. The kids and I will be fine. Your career is on the rise. Don’t fuck it up by coming back to the Pitts. Move on with your life and never look back.”

“Brian, stop!”

But Brian is out the door and, within a few seconds, they hear the Camaro’s engine revving and the sound of tires on asphalt.

“I have to go find him,” Justin mutters as he goes to get his coat.

“Let him have some time to himself,” Marilyn tells him as she puts a hand on Justin’s wrist, “He’s just going back to the loft. He’s not thinking straight and wants to calm himself down.”

Justin looks troubled by the order but sits back down at the table.

“Dad’s pregnant?” Gus suddenly asks, completely confused by everything that has happened.

“Oh sweetheart, he’s probably just joking,” Lindsay tells him, disturbed by the possibility, “Your father is a boy. Boys can’t get pregnant.”

“Brian isn’t just a boy,” Marilyn informs them, “He is one of several human incarnations of the God Dionysus. Of course he can get pregnant.”

“...I’m sorry, what?” Emmett finally asks to break the silence.

“Dionysus is the god of the grape harvest, wine, ritual madness, fertility, theatre, and religious ecstasy. Now, mind you, Brian doesn’t display all of these qualities. Dionysus has at least twenty other incarnations alive right now to cover the rest, some are decent and some are not. But he seems to have blessed Brian with fertility. Maybe with the theatrics too, considering what a drama queen he is.”

“How...What...How the hell do you know all of this? It’s completely crazy!” Lindsay sputters out.

Marilyn rolls her eyes, “Dear, who do you think told him about his first pregnancy back when he was in college?”

The gang looks at each other, willing themselves and the others to wake up.

“Marilyn, you must be mistaken,” Debbie says softly, “I’ve known Brian since he was 14 years old. I would know about this.”

Marilyn sighs, “He didn’t even believe me until he had a miscarriage while he was in the bathroom at Babylon. I had to sneak the poor boy out. He was about four months along. It would have been a girl. Look, it isn’t my story to tell. Anything else about that period in his life has to come from him.”

“You know he won’t tell us!” Debbie exclaims, “I can’t believe he didn’t tell anyone. My poor baby. No one should go through something like that alone.”

Michael quacks in agreement, hurt that his friend wouldn’t confide in him. God, he should have seen the signs. He does remember a time when Brian was 18 or so and he had gained a little bit of weight. Michael just figured it was the freshman 15 or something but maybe it had been something much more complicated.

“Okay, this is getting annoying,” Apollonia quacks out, “I can only pick up bits and pieces of this conversation. I’m more fluent in Spanish and Italian than this ugly language. Of course, Duck is the most beautiful language of all.”

“It really is,” Betty adds, “And it’s universal. These people supposedly all speak English but it looks as though they don’t even know how to communicate and come to an agreement!”

“All they do is fight, act like they don’t believe each other, and keep secrets,” Hubert agrees.

“As much as I appreciate your insight, I really do need to figure out what’s going on with my friend.”

“He got himself knocked up, it seems like,” Georgina cracks in a quacking cackle, “You’ve got some interesting friends here, Michael.”

Michael rolls his eyes then notices the rest of the gang is staring at him in confusion.

Not being able to explain what he was talking about with the ducks, all he does his nod his head and say, “Quack.”

Lindsay shakes her head, “It’s just...It’s impossible! He doesn’t even have the parts to grow or deliver a baby!”

“Actually, he does,” Marilyn tells them, “He has a small passage that starts on the front side of his rectum, about eight or nine inches in. It stays closed unless he is very aroused. If he is aroused, it opens and starts to catch any sperm that comes its way to send up the passage. That passage leads up to a small makeshift womb that forms a new egg, or in this case two eggs, when it detects sperm. The eggs are then inseminated and it’s very similar to any normal pregnancy from then on out, with some minor differences of course, such as organ shifting which is quite doable for him due to who he is. When it’s time for him to deliver, the anus dilates and grows down and out so that the passage can extend right to the exit of his body. The walls of it strengthen and dilate as well so that he can perform natural childbirth.”

The silence is deafening before the disgust can give in.

“Oh my god, that’s disgusting!” Ted exclaims as he suppresses a gag.

“This is going to be quite the blow to Brian,” Debbie admits.

“Do you even know how the human reproduction system works?” Melanie demands to know, “What you said makes no sense at all.”

“How do you know all of this?” Justin asks her as he cringes.

“Quack! Quack Quack Quack!” Michael freaks the fuck out because god, he just can’t imagine.

“He...He can get a cesarian, right?” Lindsay asks hopefully.

Marilyn holds up her hand, “I know all of this because I helped take care of him since I’m the one who warned him of his state. I was a nursemaid of sorts to my doctor friend. Let’s just say she has some unique specializations. And no, Ms. Peterson. He can’t get a cesarian. Dionysus wouldn’t stand for a scalpel to come near his pregnant incarnation.”

“Yet this Dionysus let him have a miscarriage the first time around. He sounds like a prick to me,” Debbie remarks.

Before anything else can be said, the house shakes and two of the windows shatter. When the flickering overhead light swings back and forth before it falls in the middle of the table and four out of five of the ducks in the room fly around in a panic, Marilyn clears her throat.

“You don’t want to make Dionysus upset. He made that decision due to the fact that Brian wouldn’t stop drinking and doing drugs nor did he have a supportive partner to help him at the time. This time is different.”

The rest of them still in shock, Emmett clears his throat.

“Well, when lights start falling and ducks start flapping, I tend to take that as my cue to leave. Justin, give Brian my love. And Michael, baby, you stop by whenever you want. Even though you are a bit different now it doesn’t mean we can’t find loads to talk about. Toodaloo!”

Emmett dashes out of the house and Ben gets up.

“Michael! It’s okay now! Come down from the refrigerator!”

Michael looks down at his husband before looking at Apollonia and Betty on top of the kitchen cabinets.

“Stay where you are, Michael,” Betty warns, “We’ll be safe up here.”

“Yeah, I’m not getting down. Fuck that!” Apollonia exclaims as she paranoidly looks around the room.

“I left California for a reason!” Hubert cries from the sink.

“You four are a bunch of pussies,” Georgina quacks as she hops on top of the light on the middle of the kitchen table.

“Michael, shhh...It’s over now. Come down. We’ll go home,” Ben says softly, holding his arms out. God, he just wants to fly into them.

So he gives in. He flaps down to Ben’s arms and lets the man hold him. Unexpectedly, Betty, Apollonia, and Hubert come down to Ben’s feet and try and fail to climb up Ben’s legs.

“I want a hug too!” Hubert cries, jumping up and down, “I am so frightened.”

“You can’t keep him to yourself Michael,” Apollonia warns, as she flies on top of him to stare at Ben, begging him for comfort.

“We don’t want to take him from you, sweetie,” Betty assures him, stepping onto Ben’s foot, “But facing death is such a trying experience. We want hugs too!”

Ben tries to look at all the ducks to gauge what is going on, “Oh...uh, do you want me to hold you too?”

“Quack!” the three ducks confirm in unison.

Michael looks at his husband in exasperation then gives a nod of approval. Sighing, Ben sits down and the three ducks hop up on his lap so that they can all enter a group hug.

“His arms are so warm,” Apollonia sighs, snuggling into his husband’s armpit.

“And muscley!” Betty laughs.

“You are all so weird,” Michael mutters.

“Oh, isn’t this precious?” his mother says softly, coming out with her camera, “Ben, baby, sit still. JR, Hunter, Gus, you get in the picture too. I will hang this one up in the living room.

The three youngest enter the frame and Michael’s heart feels lighter when his four year old comes over to kiss his head.

“Missed you, Daddy,” his princess says softly.

Michael quacks, telling her that he missed her so much, before turning to nuzzle her sweet face. His little girl giggles and the camera flashes, capturing the moment.

It’ll be one for the family album.

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They end up walking home on the crisp fall night. Michael seems to want to and Ben can’t deny him of anything right now. He can’t even put his foot down and say that Michael’s new friends can’t come with them. Even though it’s odd walking down the street with five ducks, he knows they bring Michael comfort because they are the only beings he can really talk to right now. So, along with Hunter, they all head back to the house by foot.

But just because they have found Michael doesn’t mean his fears are gone. He still feels sick. Because, come on, his husband is a duck because he got so depressed. Debbie was right, in a way. He should have seen the signs and taken care of him by doing absolutely everything in his power to make sure they had a baby. To make sure Mel and Lindsay would fucking listen and realize that their move really hurt him, Michael, and Brian.

Jesus, Brian. He knows it isn’t fair but Ben can’t help but be a little pissed at him. Logically he knows that Brian didn’t want anyone to know about his condition, especially with Michael being the way that he was. And, hell, they really did need to know. He was family and Ben loved him like he loved the rest of the crazy bunch. And if Michael weren’t a duck right now, he would probably be very worried about Brian. But what Michael is going through is serious. Ben felt they should be focusing on him, not Brian. He knows he’s biased but Michael is a duck, for Christ’s sake. Brian was just knocked up, which is something Ben would probably consider for him and Michael if it were an option for them. But Brian can’t see the blessing. He just pushes away the father of his children, acts like a dramatic prick, and fights with Justin in order to captivate the attention away from Michael’s problems. Dick.

“Quack? Quack Quack Quack?” Michael asks, pulling him away from his thoughts.

“I have no idea what you’re saying to me,” Ben admits, “But I’m glad you are here.”

Michael looks at him softly and Ben knows that means Michael would be giving him that kind small smile while his eyes twinkled before pulling him in for a kiss. God, he can’t wait until they figure out a way to turn Michael back.

“This is so fucking weird,” Hunter mutters.

“It’s all very unexpected, that’s for sure,” Ben agrees.

“I’m going to be coming home a lot more,” Hunter tells him with conviction, “I don’t want this happening again. I know it’s more to JR and wanting a new baby but I think of you guys as my parents. It kills me that you have been going through all of this.”

“Bud, it isn’t your fault,” Ben tells him, “Don’t get us wrong, we are both ecstatic that you want to come around more.”

“Quack,” Michael agrees, nodding his head vigorously.

“But we accepted your decision to go and build your career. That’s what people your age do and it’s to be expected. Michael has missed you just as much as JR but JR is four years old and he didn’t expect for her to be more or less kept from him.”

“You need to tell them to get their asses back here,” Hunter says harshly, “He needs her. They aren’t even doing that great up in Canada anyway! They moved out of the country and didn’t even think of the paperwork and the immigration process. I’m surprised they got as far as they did and their situation still sucks!”

“I know you feel that way. And you have so many good points. They were just frightened by what happened and felt that it was for the best at the time. They let their emotions rule their decision to leave."

Hunter nods and the seven of them step up onto the porch. He unlocks the door and the ducks come waddling into the house without his permission but he’s sure that Michael gave them permission so he bites his tongues and instead says, “Michael? Can you tell them to...you know, not make a mess or anything?”

“Quack,” Michael assures him before waddling into the kitchen to hop up onto the counter by the bread box.

Ben walks over as Michael and the rest of the ducks look up at him pleadingly.

“You want something to eat?” He asks softly.

All of the ducks start quacking up a storm and, just as Ben goes to open the bread box, he thinks of something.

“Hold on a minute,” he tells them before running to his laptop.

Michael follows him curiously and Ben googles ‘What to feed ducks.’

“Bread has little to no nutritional value for ducks,” Ben tells him, standing up, “We have some frozen peas you all can eat.

He can swear Michael is glaring at him but he won’t harm his husband in this state, nor will he harm the other ducks who have taken it upon themselves to help Michael.

Ignoring Michael’s expression, he gets five small bowls out of the cabinet and puts an equal amount of frozen peas in them before putting them on the floor.

“There,” Ben says kindly, “Eat up.”

All the ducks but Hubert glare at him before giving in and eating their dinner.

Hunter had a pretty long day so he heads up to his room after he tells him and Michael goodnight. Michael looks up from his peas, waddles over to Hunter, and lets out a meaningful quack.

“Yeah, I love you too,” Hunter tells him.

Michael lets out a sigh of relief before running back over to peck Georgina away from his peas.

After they eat, Ben puts a warm thick blanket on the the back porch for the other ducks to sleep on before he and Michael go inside. He puts on a movie for the two of them to watch but they both fall asleep, Ben with his head nodded forward and Michael in his lap.

He wakes up and Michael is still fast asleep. Stroking the feathers on his back, he can admit to himself that Michael is still adorable even as a duck. But he just wants his human husband again. First thing tomorrow, they were going to search for a way to make Michael happy with life again. Ben would do anything to make sure the love of his life was happy.

“Michael?” Ben prompts softly, “Michael, you want to head up to bed?”

Michael stirs and lets out a sleepy quack before nodding, only to nod back off.

His poor baby. He can’t imagine how stressed he’s been. He has to be exhausted. He deserves to have a night in his own bed so Ben gently picks him up and carries him up the stairs. He softly lays Michael down on his pillow before going to get ready for bed. When he comes back, he lies down next to the duck and closes his eyes. He can’t help but smile when he feel the duck’s chin rest on his forehead.

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They talk to Carl the next day about the ongoing search for Michael. Well, Ben talks and Michael quacks to let them know of his opinion on things. Carl tells him that he will figure it out but Michael may have to check himself into the hospital for a day or two to keep up appearances.

“Quack!” Michael tells them, refusing the option.

“Michael, you don’t want them thinking that you just took off. Yes, you have every right to as an adult but they’ll see it as wasting their resources. You disappeared when Ben thought you were extremely ill anyway. It would be the best course of action if we say you managed to wander outside of town and were cared for by Marilyn’s friend for a few days. That way no one looks like they are in the wrong.”

“...Quack,” Michael finally agrees, seeing Carl’s point.

After Ben sees Carl out, he and Michael play Monopoly with Hunter and Michael takes them for everything, as always. After Hunter gets over the frustration of losing to a duck, he tells them he’s going to meet up with a couple of friends from high school for lunch so they send him off and Ben just talks and talks to Michael. It’s not exactly the same but he knows Michael is in there, listening and making notes of what to tell him once he’s able to again.

“I was...I was just so scared,” Ben admits, holding Michael’s wing, “I honestly thought you were going to die. I prayed to any higher being that was out there that you would be okay. I didn’t care if I had to be your nursemaid for the rest of my life. As long as you made it through, I would make sure you had everything I could give you.”

“Quack,” Michael chokes out, coming over to lean against Ben.

“We’re going to live a long and happy life, Michael,” Ben tells him fiercely, “We will.”

“Quack. Quack Quack,” Michael murmurs.

Before Ben can answer, the phone starts to ring. Even though he wants to talk to Michael more, he sees Brian’s name on the Caller ID and knows he has to answer.

“Hello?” Ben answers as he pets Michael’s head.

“Tell Mikey to come over,” Brian says quietly.

Ben sighs, “Brian, I don’t want to put him through more stress than he’s already going through. I know you are having a rough time but when it comes down to it, you are having two children while my husband is stuck as a duck. I need to put him first right now and I don’t want you making him more tense.”

“I just...I just want to talk to him,” Brian admits, his voice shaking, “I need to talk to my best friend.”

Ben sighs and looks to Michael, “You okay with going over Brian’s? He wants to talk to you.”

“Quack!” Michael says happily as he flaps his wings and hops down from the couch. Ben laughs a little and shakes his head. Some things will never change.

“He’ll be over in a little bit,” Ben tells Brian over the phone.

“...Thank you. I’ll keep an eye out for him.”

Brian hangs up and Michael hops in front of the door.

“Woah. Why are you in such a rush, baby? I was going to drive you.”

Michael shakes his head and quacks some more.

“What, you want to fly instead? You think you can get rid of me so easily?” Ben teases.

Michael looks at him affectionately before looking towards the door again. Ben sighs and gives in.

“Be careful, alright?” No crossing busy streets or getting close to that redneck asshole’s house down on Monroe.”

“Quack,” Michael tells him, letting him know what that he understands.

“I’ll pick you up, okay? Just peck at the phone to tell Brian to call me.”

Michael nods and Ben opens the door. He watches his husband cross the porch and take off in flight towards his friend’s loft. He looks so graceful.

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Michael flies to the large ledge by Brian’s window and quacks loudly to let his friend know of his arrival.

Brian turns his head from the couch when he hears Michael outside. Michael feels his eyes widen when Brian gets up. The man had been wearing jackets or looser shirts recently but he was wearing one of his form fitting white t-shirts and sweatpants now that he was at home and, shit, he really does have a baby bump. It wasn’t that big yet but it was there.

Brian opens the window and helps Michael inside before going over to sit on the couch. Watching his friend closely, Michael can see that he is troubled. Brow creased and a hand on his belly, Brian says, “Thanks for coming over.”

“Quack,” Michael tells him because why wouldn’t he?

“I know you have a lot of shit on your plate right now,” Brian begins.

“Quack,” Michael comforts, coming closer. Why does Brian think he’s bothering him with this?

“I just...I don’t know. Need to unload. I didn’t go to work today. I felt too sick this morning. It’s been getting better but today was awful.”

Michael hops up onto the couch and rubs his belly with his forehead, trying to soothe it if it is still acting up.

“You’re really weird, you know that?” Brian smirks down at him.

Michael looks up and glares before settling next to the man.

“Quack.”

He thinks he is pretty clear with what he is saying. He must be because Brian does start talking.

“I’m so fucking scared, Mikey,” Brian whispers.

“Quack,” Michael murmurs, letting him know that it was alright.

“I don’t have anyone-”

“Quack,” Michael warns.

“Yeah, I have you. But-”

“QUACK,” Michael says again.

Brian stares at him then scoffs, “You mean Justin?”

“Quack,” Michael confirms.

“I’m not going to ruin his life, Mikey. I can’t do that to him. I never should have let him get attached to a freak like me in the first place. I’m worried about what people will think about me but, god, what about him? People will probably laugh at him for being with some old, f-fat, pregnant guy from Pittsburgh. He deserves better than that. Better than me-”

“QUACK!” Michael yells, flapping his wings before really getting into it.

“Quack! Quack quack quack quack! Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack quack quack. Quack. Quack! Quack quack quack quack quack!” Michael tells his friend passionately because he really needs to hear it.

“I don’t know what you just said but I know I’m right on this. When I suspected something was up and took a test over a month ago, I thought about trying to get an abortion. But it killed me to think about it. When I...Fuck, I never told anyone this but when I had my miscarriage, I was pretty devastated. And that baby just belonged to my jock roommate who I got too drunk with then decided to give in when he got curious about fucking a guy. I know losing her was my fault. I thought Marilyn was batshit so I kept drinking, smoking, and doing E. Even if Dionysus was protecting her from becoming fucked up, he took her away anyway because I was such a fuck up. I don’t know why he hasn’t made me have another miscarriage, but I guess I’m better than I was. I don’t drink as much as I used to and once I found out I stopped everything. So I knew I wanted them alive. I thought about giving them up for adoption. Shit, I even thought about telling you and Ben and offering to give them to you.”

“Quack,” Michael says, emotion lacing his quack. It’s so thoughtful of Brian but he doesn’t expect that kind of sacrifice out of his friend.

“I just...I can’t. If I had gotten knocked up by anyone else, I would probably let you father them in a heartbeat. But they’re Justin’s. Mine and Justin’s. I’m too selfish to give them up.”

“Quack quack quack,” Michael tells him, letting him know that he isn’t selfish, just human.

Brian sighs and stares at Michael, “Shit, we make a couple of really fucked up friends, don’t we?”

“Quack!” Michael laughs, laying his head on Brian’s belly. Brian sighs, pets him, and surprisingly lets him stay there.

A few minutes have passed when the door opens and Justin walks in. Both he and Brian stay silent as the young man walks over and puts his bags down.

“Please tell me you’ve had enough time to decompress,” Justin murmurs as he stares at his lover.

Michael sits up and sees Brian hesitate before nodding.

“Because I’m not leaving you, Brian. I won’t leave our son and daughter. I love you and I love them too.”

Michael is surprised when tears spring to Brian’s eyes. Brian blinks a few times before reaching out and saying, “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Sunshine.”

Justin rushes over on the other side of Brian, holds him close, and kisses the man’s face before gently lifting up his shirt.

“Hi, babies,” Justin says, laughing softly, “I’m your daddy.”

Brian rolls his eyes but holds his belly as Justin kisses it. As cute as it would be with any other couple, watching Brian and Justin behave like this is just bizarre.

“When do they start kicking?” Justin asks excitedly.

“I only hit the 13 week mark today, Sunshine. They won’t start kicking for a while. From what I’ve read online, it sometimes takes longer to feel them move due to them having less room.”

“...You’ve read up on twins already?” Justin asks, starting to smile.

Brian groans, “Shut up. I just thought it would be best if we were prepared.”

“We will be. We’ll be so prepared. This is going to be fantastic, Brian.”

Michael knows the two need some time alone so he starts to peck at Brian’s phone, trying to give him a hint.

“Hey! Why are you fucking with my phone, Michael?” Brian asks, ripping the phone away from his reach.

Michael glares before explaining with a, “Quack! Quack Quack Quack!”

“I think he wants you to call someone,” Justin explains putting his arms around Brian’s stomach.

Brian kisses Justin’s head before asking, “Want me to call Ben? One quack for yes and two quacks for no.”

“Quack!” Michael confirms.

Brian nods then presses the speed dial and starts talking when Ben picks up.

“Hey, your husband started pecking the phone and wanted me to call you. You’ll pick him up? Alright, see you soon. Bye.”

“Michael, you don’t have to leave,” Justin tells him sincerely.

“Quack. Quack quack,” Michael excuses because he really doesn’t want to intrude.

Justin looks confused but nods anyway before cooing over Brian’s small baby bump again. They don’t stop until Ben rings the bell.

Justin gets up, telling Brian he is taking care of his every need today (which Brian just scoffs at.) Michael can’t help but be a little relieved when Ben is in the doorway, waiting to take him home.

Michael quacks a goodbye to both of them and starts to follow Ben out the door but is stopped by the sound of his name.

“Michael?” Brian calls out, “We’re going to figure out a way to fix this. I will do everything I can to make sure you and Ben have the family you deserve.”

Michael knows that if he had a human mouth, he would be smiling sadly at his best friend. He knows Brian tends to pull through but he and Ben have had such a string of bad luck that it’s gotten to the point where he’ll believe it when the papers are signed and there’s a baby in his arms.

Ben gives Brian and thankful look before closing the elevator door.

As they ride back home and Ben hums along with the radio, Michael realizes that he is really happy for his best friend, even if he is a bit jealous. Not for the reasons some may think. He’s over Brian. He’ll always love him but he finally loves him as the brother he’s always been. But...he would just like for he and Ben to experience the joy Brian and Justin must be feeling right now. He would even take the fear that seems to come along with it.

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Eight days pass and there’s still been no change. There are some upsides to everything. Mel and Lindsay are still in town with the kids so that means he and Ben have and JR several nights in a row while Justin and Brian have had Gus. It makes him so happy to have her here. They run around in the yard and play hide and go seek. He’s missed her laugh and smile so much.

“Daddy, watch this!” JR demands as she pumps her legs on the swing.

“Quack!” Michael commends her, so proud of his little girl.

Ben comes out to tell them that lunch is ready and they go in. Ben gives him peas and brown rice and leaves some out for their friends. They’re coming over tonight to hang out once Lindsay comes and gets her in an hour. He’s a little sad about that but they’ll be in for a few more days so he knows he’ll see her soon.

“Is Daddy going to turn back soon? We’ve been having lots of fun!” JR exclaims after swallowing her bite of grilled cheese.

“I hope so,” Ben tells her as he sits down next to her, “Even though your daddy is right here, I miss being able to talk to him.”

JR nods, “I like him both ways. I like him as a duck ‘cause he’s a duck but I like him as a boy because he gives me hugs and can give me piggyback rides.”

Ben smiles, “I’m glad you can see the bright side either way, baby. Your daddy is a pretty amazing guy.”

“Uh huh! I love my daddy!”

JR hops down from her chair and gives Michael a hug. Michael quacks at her lovingly and realizes that he really is a lucky man. If only he could see her more.

The doorbell rings and Lindsay comes inside. JR runs to her mother and gets lifted up.

“Thanks for watching her, Ben,” Lindsay says gratefully.

“We both watched her,” Ben tells her seriously, “Michael played with her all day.”

Lindsay glances at Michael and winces at the duck, realizing he’s there. Michael feels a stab of bitterness at Lindsay’s obvious discomfort.

“Right, of course. Well, thank you both,” she tells them.

“You alright, Lindsay?” Ben asks suspiciously.

“I’m...I’m just sad. Sad for Michael. I’m sorry if I am coming off as strange. I feel like I need to put my life in perspective. First Michael turning into a duck, then finding out about Brian. I just...I haven’t been here to see the signs for either scenario.”

Ben takes pity on her then, “Don’t worry. I was here and never could have predicted any of this.”

“But you knew that Michael was depressed. That Brian felt lonely with Justin and Gus away. I just assumed everything was fine.”

“Lindsay...How could you assume that when you and Mel have been pushing Michael and Brian away?”

Michael winces at Ben’s accusation. Even though he feels the same way deep down, actually saying it feels like going too far. But surprisingly Lindsay nods and looks away.

“I suppose I deserve that. I’m very sorry. If I had known how much it would hurt all of you...I don’t know what I would have done.”

“It’s too late to go back now, I guess. As long as you two are happy up there then we’re happy for you. Are you happy?”

Lindsay shrugs, “I don’t know. I honestly don’t.”

“Well, you should think on what would make you all happy. We’ll pick up JR in the morning to take her over to Debbie’s. Thanks for letting us have her for a couple of days.”

“Anytime...And I mean that this time.”

Lindsay heads out the door after JR enthusiastically waves goodbye to them and Ben collapses down into the couch. Michael waddles over, hops up into his lap, and that’s where they stay until they hear quacking outside.

“Your friends are here,” Ben murmurs as he gets up.

His husband gets up and opens the door to let the four ducks in the house.

“Fuck, it’s cold out there!” Georgina exclaims, her feathers still puffed out.

“It’s that time of the year!” Betty laughs.

“Fuck the cold. I’m telling you, novia, we need to go down to Miami for a couple of months this winter. The ducks there are CRAZY.”

“But Pittsburgh is my home,” Betty sighs, “I’d miss it too much.”

“Miami scares me,” Hubert admits, “I heard there’s a lot of crime there.”

“Hubert. Dumbass. We don’t need to be scared of the crime rates. What you should be scared of are backwoods lunatics who want to shoot us down. In my opinion, the bigger the city, the better. They’re too busy shooting each other and not shooting us,” Apollonia debates.

“Guys, how about we all stop arguing for a second and just settle down?” Michael suggests, trying to diffuse the situation, “We can play Monopoly.”

“You won last time and Ben had to move all of our pieces. I don’t see what’s so great about that game anyway,” Apollonia sasses.

“How about never have I ever?” Georgina proposes.

Michael sighs at that. He already knows the outcome when he plays this game with ducks.

“Never have I ever ate with a fork,” Betty smirks.

Michael rolls his eyes and holds up a wing.

“Never have I ever laid an egg,” Michael throws out.

Apollonia, Georgina, and Betty grumble as they hold up a wing.

“Never have I ever kissed a human,” Georgina laughs.

Michael braces himself as he holds up the second wing and the ducks cackle.

“Michael loses! Michael is a slut!” the ducks quackishly chant.

“Because I’ve eaten with a fork and kissed a few guys?” Michael asks.

“Girl, don’t try to play innocent,” Apollonia smirks.

Michael sighs as the remaining ducks continue to play. They are so strange.

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Michael is woken up by someone pounding on the front door downstairs. He looks at the clock and sees that it says 8:30 am so he quacks softly into Ben’s ear to ease him into the conscious world.

“Hmmm?” Ben stirs, “Class isn’t ‘till six.””

Michael stifles an amused quack and quacks again to get his husband to realize that someone is knocking at the door.

“Who would be-?” Ben starts before sighing and getting out of bed.

Michael hops out and follows his husband and Hunter comes out of his room groaning.

“Who the fuck is here this early?” their son grumbles.

“Guess we’ll find out,” Ben says as he approaches the door.

When the door opens, a small crowd of people come inside. Ma, Carl, Mysterious Marilyn, Ted, Blake, Lindsay, Mel, Gus, JR, Justin, Brian (who really has been starting to show more these last couple of days), Emmett, Drew Boyd, Cynthia, and some blonde woman who Michael has never met.

“Uh...hi?” Ben greets them, a bit confused.

“Who the fuck has a party at 8:30 in the morning?” Apollonia quacks, yet rushing inside with the other ducks since she’s a nosy bitch.

“I don’t know why they’re all here,” Michael admits.

“I...I thought we were going to meet up later after we picked up JR. And I thought it was only going to be a few of us, not…”

“Seventeen of us?” Debbie guesses.

“Yeah. Something going on?”

“...There’s been a change of plans,” Lindsay admits, “We’re heading back to Toronto this afternoon.”

Michael feels his stomach sink through the floor. He knew his baby had to go back home but he was supposed to have a few more days with her.

“Lindsay,” Ben says in a low voice, “Michael really needs to spend time with JR right now. They love each other and-”

“Let us finish,” Mel requests.

Ben stares at her before waving a hand to let her know to go on.

“We talked about it most of the day yesterday before talking to our old colleagues here. You and Brian both pointed out some really eye opening reasons as to why our move was a bit hasty. I can’t tell you how stressful it has been with the visas and not seeing you all. And it’s not fair to the kids. They’ve missed you so much. It’ll take about a month or two to sell our home and get a place here but we miss Pittsburgh. We want to come back.”

Michael feels his heart beat heavily with happiness and, if he were human, he may cry tears of joy. He’s starting to feel different already. Maybe once this sinks in, he’ll turn back into his old self.

“That is fantastic news!” Ben exclaims, “God, I am so happy to hear that. You have no idea.”

“I’m coming back home, Uncle Ben!” JR tells him enthusiastically as she runs into Ben’s arms.

Ben picks her up with a laugh and spins her around, “Any more great news?”

“Drewsie and I are back together!” Emmett squeals, “My baby has turned 21 and is ready for a steady romance with his one and only.”

Drew huffs out a laugh but pulls Emmett in for a kiss. Michael is so happy for them. Despite how different the two are, they are really great together.

“I have some news,” Brian announces, stepping forward.

“Have you chosen a color pattern for the nursery at Britin?” Emmett gasps.

Brian stares at him bewildered before Justin laughs and says, “I have, but that’s not the news.”

Brian shakes his head at his partner’s and Emmett’s exchange but stays on topic.

“I know money is becoming a bit of an issue for you two. Yeah, you have enough to pay bills and to go visit Hunter and JR. You even have some saved for a new kid when it comes to supplies and hospital bills. But being gay isn’t cheap and not everyone is as lucky as I am. You have to pay an arm and a leg for procedures and and extra people in order to get the child you deserve. It’s not fair but that’s the way it is. Luckily I have more money than I know what to do with. This woman right here is Cynthia’s younger sister. She’s going to be your new surrogate-”

“QUACK!” Michael yells. He’s can’t accept that kind of gift!

“Mikey, I already fucking paid her. You’re not willing to give the money back, are you Angelica?”

“No. Sorry,” Angelica shrugs.

“Then it’s settled. Ben, your sister told me you have some of her eggs frozen at a fertility center here. You have an IVF appointment next week. Better figure out a way to become human before that, Mikey.”

Ben looks back and forth between Angelica and Brian, trying to figure out the catch. There isn’t one. Michael can already tell.

So Ben nods then squats down to Michael’s level.

“I don’t think we’re going to talk your best friend out of this,” Ben chuckles softly.

“Quack,” Michael agrees. Brian’s always been a stubborn fucker.

“Baby, this is what we’ve been waiting for. This is what you wanted so badly.”

“...Quack…” Michael admits. Shit, why does he feel so strange?

“...We’re going to have a baby,” Ben finally chokes out, as if it is actually hitting him, “Michael, we’re going to raise a child. Another one! And there is no one in this world who I would rather do this with. I love you so much. And I will love that baby more than anything in the world because that baby will be a part of you and, in the closest way we can accomplish, a part of me.”

Michael feels himself breathing heavily and suddenly his body jerks. He falls onto his back and spreads his wings as his bones start to shift. He can hear Ben, Brian, JR, and his mother shouting but he can’t answer them. Please PLEASE don’t let him die in front of his daughter. God, he would do anything to make sure that didn’t happen. Jesus, when is this going to stop?

“Michael?” Ben chokes out.

“D-Daddy?” JR sobs, frightened.

Michael groans and opens his eyes before realizing what sound he actually made.

It was human.

Sitting up, he puts his hands in front of his face and gasps. Ten fingers. He looks down. Two legs and ten toes. Oh my god. Oh my god!

“Welcome back, baby!” Ben laughs, pulling him in to kiss him for the first time in almost two weeks.

“You’re back, Daddy! You’re back!” JR laughs as she claps her hands.

Ted throws a blanket over his naked body and he’s incredibly grateful. He really doesn’t want to be naked in front of his daughter, Gus, Carl, or his mother.

The whole room is happy with the accomplishment and Michael is happy too. That is, until he actually starts thinking about it.

“What the fuck, Ma?” he finally explodes out of the blue, “How could you not tell me that I could turn into a duck?”

“Baby, I told you. I thought it was a phase!”

“That gave you no right to keep it from me,” Michael scolds before pointing at Marilyn, “And you! How in the hell do you know everything there is to know? From the Devore family history to the way Brian’s reproductive system works to shifters to Dionysus! What are you, a spy?”

Marilyn thinks about it, “I guess that could be a word for it. But I just like to think of myself as the woman who keeps track of Pittsburgh’s oddest. I do my homework, what can I say?”

Michael gapes before shaking his head and muttering, “I can’t believe this. This is so fucked up.”

“Nice thoughts, babe. Think positively,” Ben reminds him, “We’re going to have another kid. Just keep your mind on that.”

Michael takes a breath and nods before turning his head to look at Betty, Apollonia, Georgina, and Hubert. He’s really going to miss talking to them. What if they don’t recognize him anymore? They might think of him as just another human and the thought of them waddling away from him hurts.

“Why don’t you take a picture?” Apollonia asks sarcastically, “It’ll last longer.”

Michael breaks out into a grin, “I’m so glad I can still understand you guys still. You all are welcome to come over anytime, you hear me? I know we’re a bit different now but I’ll make sure you have food every day and a warm place to sleep should you need it. Think of my home as a safe haven for the four of you.”

“Oh Michael, you are so kind,” Betty blushes.

“That’s really upstanding of you, Michael!” Hubert nods.

“Just make sure you have something other than peas,” Georgina requests, rolling her eyes.

Michael laughs and turns to the gang, “God, they crack me up.”

His human friends stare at him bewildered before Emmett clears his throat.

“It is absolutely amazing that you can still talk to ducks, don’t get me wrong. I mean, it’s like a super power! But you may want to refrain from doing it in public.”

The rest of the gang mutters in agreement before Brian interrupts.

“Now that Michael is back to normal, I guess we can drop the bad news,” Brian announces.

“It’s not bad news,” Justin reminds him.

Brian smirks, “He’s right. It’s just bad news for you all. Sunshine and I are going to spend the next six months in the sunshine, far away from the Pitts.”

There’s a brief bout of silence before everyone starts jumping in.

“Sweetheart, you need your family there for you during your pregnancy!”

“We decided to move back for you, you asshole!”

“Brian, do you think it’s wise to leave when not many doctors are experienced with men in your condition?”

“But-”

Brian holds up his hand and they stop their complaints.

“It’s only until after I give birth. My doctor and her team are coming with us. We’re renting out a secluded villa in Hawaii and a few apartments for them a couple miles away. I’m not going to go through a pregnancy where everyone knows me. You all know that it will end up in the local papers then eventually be thrown into the national headlines. I can’t do it. This way I can stress a lot less over my pregnancy and Sunshine and I can have an extended honeymoon of sorts. This is what I want. It isn’t for good, I promise.”

Brian puts his arm around Justin’s waist and they smile at each other before meeting for a kiss. They look so happy.

“Well, if it is what is best for your health and happiness then I’m happy for you,” Michael smiles.

Brian looks to Michael gratefully, “Thanks, Mikey.”

“You all can come out to where we are staying to meet our son and daughter. Brian may not want you in the room when they are born but you can wait outside and be the first ones to meet the new additions,” Justin informs them.

That has the rest of the gang smiling for the couple and soon, as cheesy as it is, they find themselves in a group hug.

What a wonderful day this is. Back to normal with his old friends, joined by his new ones, and finding out that Operation Baby is a go. On top of all that, he hasn’t seen Brian this happy in years.

He’s the luckiest man in the world.