As he stood in front of the modest house, he considered running away. His palms where sweaty, he hadn’t sweaty palms since he was a pocked faced teenager. He didn’t know what he was going to say when the door opened. Before his mother told him, he thought he could never hate her more. That hadn’t been the truth, he despised her and the old man right now. He hated them and hoped they burned in hell.

Raising his hand to the door, he knocked firmly. No, he couldn’t do this, he needed to-

The door opened, and a gentle faced woman answered. She looked to be about forty.

“Can I help you?”

“Um. I was wondering if I could see Jack Kinney?”

Her eyes widened in shock. “Oh, can I ask who wants him?”

“I’m his little brother.”

When his mom had told him that she had another child between Claire and him, he was upset at the secret. When she told him why he had never met him, he was livid.

“You’re Brian,” she said, like she knew of him.

“Yes.”

“Jackie talks about you all the time.”

Now it was Brian’s turn to look surprised. “He does?”

“Yes. Anytime he meets someone new he shows them your senior year picture. Sorry I didn’t recognize you, but as you can guess the picture is quite worn.”

“I’ve never met him before, in fact I just found out he existed,” he said quietly. He felt she was judging him for not being around.

“Sadly, I’ve seen that happen. I always felt Joan was keeping something the very few times she visited. He would get so excited when she visited but then she would only be here for half an hour at most.”

He hated her even more now, he thought that wasn’t possible.

“He’s in his room. Would you like to go there or met out here? Don’t worry about Jackie, he’s never met a stranger. Everyone loves him.”

“I’ve never been around people like him.”

“People like him?” she asked. Brian wasn’t fooled, she knew what he meant.

“I just don’t want to act wrong,” he told her honestly.

“Alright, that I can accept. Treat him like a person, because he is. Treat him like an adult, because he is. Treat him like your brother…because he is. Better?”

That had not helped very much but it didn’t a little. She opened the door wide and let him in. The house was minimal, but there was a puzzle half done on a coffee table. She saw him looking.

“Jack’s roommate likes puzzles, Jack’s never been a fan.” Neither had Brian.

He followed her down a short hallway. She knocked lightly on the door. “Jackie, you have a guest.”

“Who is it?”

She smiled at Brian and looked back at the closed door. “You’ll have to open the door to see.”

The door opened, and Brian saw a man a bit shorter than himself, dark hair and eyes. He looked a lot like the old pictures his mom had of his dad when he was younger. The only real difference was the man was wearing a shirt with Spiderman on it and he was smiling, his dad never smiled.

“Who are you?” Jack asked.

“I’m Brian, your brother,” he said, hoping he was doing what was right.

Jack couldn’t believe what he was hearing and seeing. Brian was here. Mom said Brian couldn’t ever come with her, he was too busy. Dad wouldn’t let Brian come see him in the home, Mom said it wasn’t good for Brian or Claire. Jack understood, he hated it there. There was always too many people and not enough activities like here. When he lived there, he had to share a room with a lot of others. He didn’t like it much, he got picked on a lot. Sometimes he didn’t move fast enough and Eddie, one of the men who worked there, would shove him. He told his Mom once when she came to visit but she said he should try and listen more. It wasn’t until his dad came to visit and he told him. The last time he saw the mean helper he had a black eye. Jack wondered what happened to him, he just knew he never worked in the home again.

Something touched his hand, making him pay attention again. Mary was always saying his mind wandered around like a runaway train. Looking up, he saw Mary smiling at him. He didn’t look at the man again, he was shy. After all this time meeting Brian, he didn’t want to do something stupid and scare him off. Mom was always saying he did stupid stuff. Dad said it was because he wasn’t born perfect and she couldn’t handle it. He didn’t know what that meant, but he guessed it was true. His dad never lied to him, always told him the truth. He wondered why he hadn’t come to see him in a long time. Mom said it was because he didn’t love him anymore but that wasn’t true. He was his dad’s little Scotch. His mom didn’t like that name, but Dad said he wouldn’t be here without it. He also told him he wouldn’t be like it was without Mom’s brandy. Mom didn’t like that joke, but Jack did…even if he didn’t get it.

“Aren’t you going to say anything, Jackie?” Mary asked him.

He guessed he was being rude.

“You’ve never been here before,” he blurted out to his brother.

Brian was quiet for a moment, just when Jack thought he wasn’t going to say anything, he did. “I’m sorry.”

Jack didn’t want Brian to be sorry, he might not come back if he is. “That’s alright. Don’t be sorry be silly.” He smiled to let his brother know he wasn’t mad.

“I’ll leave you two boys alone to get to know each other. Jackie, give me a holler if you need anything,” Mary said before leaving the room.

“Do you prefer being called Jackie?” his brother asked.

“No, I hate it. Only Mary calls me that, I think she does it to make me give her ‘the glare’.”

Brian smiled, he had a nice smile. “What’s ‘the glare’?”

“Well, you got to scrunch up your nose, then look at the person real hard. That’s ‘the glare’.”

“I hope I’m never on the receiving end of that.”

“Never, you and Claire are my brother and sister. I would never glare at you guys. Or Mom and Dad. Oh. Oh. Oh. Can you call Dad and ask him to visit? He hasn’t come in a long time. Mom said he doesn’t feel like coming anymore. And can you see if Claire will come? I’d like to meet her too.”

He didn’t understand it, but his brother looked sick all of the sudden. Maybe he ate something bad, that’s what happened before he gets a bellyache. “Are you alright?”

“That Bitch,” Brian snapped.

“Language,” he said, copying how his mom says it. Him and Mary always laugh at it. Mary said as long as he was respectful and didn’t talk that way in front of children and strangers, he could talk any way he liked in his own home. She said he cussed like a sailor. He hoped like Popeye, he was his favorite sailor. Captain Jack Sparrow second but he was a pirate so maybe that didn’t count. Brian didn’t laugh though.

“Don’t be mad. You don’t have to tell them. Maybe I can write them a letter. I can do it on paper or the computer. Mary taught me how to write my friends using email.

Brian shook his head. “It’s not that, I’ll be right back.” Then he left, leaving Jack confused.

He was so angry he could kill. “He doesn’t know Pop and Claire are dead?” he asked, his voice hard.

The woman blinked owlishly at him and it occurred to him, she didn’t know either. How could she not know?

“What do you mean? His father sends him presents for his birthday and Christmas.”

“When was the last time he got a present?”

“A few months ago, for his birthday.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, the old man has been dead for years.”

She sighed. “I thought it was something like that when he didn’t show up for his regular visits. But then presents started coming and I thought he just moved or convinced myself of that. Maybe I didn’t want to know the truth.”

“What do you mean his regular visits”

She blinked at him looked nervous. “Ever since Jackie’s been out of the state home, your father visited him twice a month. He would come get him take him out for lunch, make a day of it. In fact, that’s what he did when he was in that place too.”

“None of this makes sense. Why didn’t they keep him?”

She sighed. “Go sit down at the table. Let me make sure Jackie’s alright then we’ll talk.”

He sat in the small kitchen, waiting for her to come back. The kitchen also didn’t have much as far as stuff. Even he had more lying around than they did in here.

“He’s watching Pirates of the Caribbean. He loves those movies. Alright. Ask away, I’ll answer what I can.”

“Are you allowed to do that?”

She walked over to the cabinet and opened it. He saw several fat binders in it. She pulled out one with Jack’s name on the spine. She opened it and found the page she wanted. “This is Jack’s health passport. Besides Joan and Jack, well now Joan, you are his only living relative. You’ve always been on his paperwork. I always thought you knew. Anyway, because of this, you have permission to know anything about his medical and personal life.”

“Alright. Do you know why he’s like the way he is? I mean…I don’t know what I mean.”

She patted his hand. “I know what you mean. Your brother was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Have you ever heard of it?”

He nodded. Yes, he had. It was the fear he had since his mother had told him about Jack. “I don’t know much about it though.”

“He has partial FAS, so he doesn’t have as many markers but its there. He’s having a good day. Bad days he can barely control his limbs. He’s has a mild form of mental retardation. If you’re looking for an age function, I really can’t give you that. According to paperwork, it’s ten. But he’s so much more than numbers and charts. He doesn’t let any of that stand in his way though. He’s a fighter.”

“Why was he given to the state home?”

“That I can’t really answer. I’ve heard three different stories, I’m sure it’s in the middle somewhere. What I’ve put together best I can as the truth, when he was born, everything was fine for the first little while. But he couldn’t feed right, he cried all the time, they knew something wasn’t right. He was diagnosed just after two months old. Your mother couldn’t stand that people would look at her and know it was her fault. Your father wanted to keep the baby and fuck who cared. In the end, she won. They told people the baby died and never to talk about him again. In that day and age, people thought it was best to take the baby to state homes. It was an ugly time in our history, out of sight out of mind with children they thought were defective. I can honestly say your father had a better relationship with him. You mother never took the time to know him. I don’t think she ever really saw him as a person.”

“My father did that?” That didn’t sound right. “My father was an abusive drunk.”

“I’m sure he was, but he did love Jack. In fact, just a year before we stopped seeing him, he started talking about forcing a divorce. He wanted his own place, so he could have Jackie move in with him. Jackie’s heart was broken when he stopped coming around. As for your sister, I did know about her. Your mother made me keep my mouth shut about that. She had already been gone by the time I started here.”

“What will happen to him after my mom dies?”

“Nothing. He’ll still be here, living life to the fullest, just missing her. If you don’t take over conservator, a judge will appoint one.”

He had a lot more to talk to his mother about. He needed to give it a few days or he would lose it on her.

Brian heard the door down the hall open and waited. Soon Jack was walking into the kitchen. He looked at his brother, Jack looked nervous.

“What is it, Jackie?” Mary asked.

“I was wondering if Brian wanted to watch Pirates of the Caribbean with me? It just started.”

“I would like that. I haven’t seen it in a while.”

“Oh, you’ll like it again. I promise. I’m going to go get the DVD and we can watch in the living room on the big TV. OK, Mary?”

“That’s fine. I won’t bother you two men.”

Jack laughed and ran back to his room. There was no way he could cut his new brother out of his life. He had come to get answers but all he had was more questions. That wasn’t on Jack though. All he had to do now was figure out how to tell him that their sister and dad were dead. He would have to talk to his…their mom first.