Brian and his boys sat silently at the table waiting for Justin, Molly and the twins. His boys were not too enthused about the trip to The Plank, neither was he to be honest. Justin had said this would be the best place to get to know his boys again, ask questions without sounding like he was interrogating them. He was a bit worried about how it would go with two small children and a teenage girl as witnesses, his kids might just shut down.

It was Thursday night, he hoped everything went well tonight because tomorrow was family dinner at Debbie’s. And no one ever wanted to ruin a family dinner at Deb’s. Just as he was about to call Justin to see where he was, the man himself walked in. Brian noticed that he was alone.

“Where are the kids?” he asked when Justin sat down beside him.

“Thought it would be better without the bigger audience, you owe my kids a night here though. They were not happy when I told them where I was going.”

“What’s he talking about audience?” Gus asked, he was openly sneering. Brian understood why Justin didn’t bring the kids now, his were hormonal teenagers, no telling what they would say or how they would act.

“I need to talk to you three and Justin is going to oversee that as an unbiased mediator.”

“Unbiased? He’s your fuckbuddy,” Gus said, his eye blazing.

“No, he’s not. And you will show him respect, even if you show me none,” Brian demanded.

Gus snorted with derision.

“Look, I’m not here to take sides. Your dad asked me to be here because he’s said he isn’t the best with emotions,” Justin said, looking sincere.

“That’s an understatement,” John said darkly.

“Alright, there are a lot of feelings going on here. Why don’t we all calmly say what’s upsetting us. Youngest to oldest. Peter, you go first,” Justin said.

“I’d like to do things more with Dad but he’s always working. We used to always go out and have fun, just the two of us once a month. We haven’t done that in like a year.”

“That’s good, Brian, how can you help fix this?” Justin asked.

“I won’t cancel planned outings in favor of Kinnetic. You’re more important than the agency.” Brian ignored Gus’ bitter snort.

“Alright, does that sound acceptable, Peter?’ Justin asked.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Peter smiled lightly. One down two to go. Their food arrived but they didn’t start eating yet.

“John, you’re next what is bothering you that needs discussing?”

“He doesn’t care, he doesn’t know anything about my life. To him and everyone else I’m just an extension to Gus, well I’m not. I’m my own person with my own problems.” Guilt ate at him; John was right to an extent. Lately because of all the problems with Gus, John had just been thrown to the side. But that was because he never really caused trouble without Gus.

“Why don’t you tell us some of your problems, maybe that will help,” Justin urged.

“Nothing can help me.”

Brian’s heart broke, never had his child sounded so broken. “I can try if you let me,” Brian said, gently.

“I’m dating someone. I can’t tell you because you’d get all judgmental.”

“That’s not true. What’s her name? Is she in your grade?” He wanted to know anything about his mysterious child.

“His name is Ozzie and he’s doesn’t go to school, he dropped out when he was sixteen.”

The table was silent, Brian sat there stunned, if he had to wager a guess on any of his children being gay it would be Peter. He noticed the expression of horror on Gus’ face and how raw John looked after coming out to them.

“I’d still like to meet him,” Brian said though his voice trembled some.

“How old is he now?” Justin asked.

Brian hadn’t paid much attention after his name is Ozzie. But yeah, he had said he quit school at sixteen. How old was this kid?

“He just turned twenty.”

“Fuck no,” Brian said, standing up, jostling the table.

“Brian, sit down, people are looking. You promised to listen to your children respectfully and you will follow through,” Justin hissed.

Looking at his children, he saw that Gus looked shell-shocked but that could be from the revelation, Peter looked embarrassed and John just looked sad. Had he sounded like his own mother? No, she just showed righteous contempt. His father, blinding hatred but was that for him being who he was or thinking another son was ‘damaged’ somehow by his mother’s drinking. There were so many questions he wanted to ask the old man, but that time was gone, just like him.

“I’m calm.” He sat, straightening the table. “I’m calm. So, he’s twenty. That’s something. What does he do for a living?”

John’s eyes got a little more hope in them. “He’s in a band.”

Jesus fucking Christ, a fucking band.

He had been with older men a lot, but he was the father now. A twenty-year old with a fifteen-year old was sick.

“We’re not having sex. I told him I wasn’t ready. Anyway, I’ll be sixteen in two weeks, which is the age of consent. He’s so understanding and kind. I think you’d really like him.” Doubtful.

“Has this been what’s been bothering you?” Brian asked.

John lowered his head and nodded. “It’s not all of it,” he said looking at Gus who was refusing to look at him. “But it’s the biggest thing.”

“How can your father help you?” Justin added, shocking Brian. He had forgotten Justin was there for a moment.

“I don’t know really. He never really tells us the truth about things. We don’t know how his life was really when he was young. I guess, I’m just scared that we’ll get too much for him and he’ll leave.”

“What? How could you ever think that?” Brian asked.

“You did before, you dropped us all off with the family and only called us,” John said, his voice rising. “Those months I had to live with Emmett, remember?”

Of course, he remembered, he couldn’t take care of himself, Ted did. He didn’t want anyone seeing him like that especially his kids.

“I was sick, remember?”

“Bullshit,” Gus said.

“What?”

“I said bullshit. If you were sick, we would have seen you or at least known what was wrong with you. You just didn’t fucking care. Probably off fucking some rentboy in Ibiza,” Gus snarled.

Brian was struck stupid; how could his children think he lied and just dumped them off? He had told his friends never to tell the kids how sick he was or with what. If they had heard cancer they would have been scared to death.

“All of you really think I just ditched you and wasn’t sick?” he asked, raw emotion in his voice.

Gus nodded forcefully, John nodded also and after a moment, Peter nodded.

“They need to hear the truth,” Justin said gently.

“What your butt-buddy knows but we don’t?” Gus sneered.

“Your grounded for a week longer. Now, at the time I didn’t tell you because you were all so young. I didn’t want you to worry, you hear the word cancer and you think death.”

“Cancer?” Peter asked, his face ashen.

“I’m alright now. I go in for yearly check-ups. I was going to tell you all closer to eighteen because all of you will have a higher risk because of genetics. Maybe a part of me didn’t tell you at the time because if I told you it would make it real. I didn’t want it to be real. As for you not seeing me, I didn’t want anyone to see me. If it wasn’t for Ted and Cynthia cleaning up my vomit, pushing fluids down my throat and making me eat, I don’t think I would be here…and that scares me. I always wanted you to see me as invincible but I’m not.

“I also didn’t want to parent like mine did, I had no home experience. The closest was Deb and Vic. I was beaten from the time I could walk until the day I packed my shit and left. I was sixteen and never looked back. Claire did the same, she got married as soon as possible and left. She didn’t have the grades for college, so she thought it was her only shot. One thing I promised her the day you were born John, if anything ever happened to her, you would never be raised like we were. I’ve kept that promise. Every day you get up and aren’t scared you’re making too much noise, or telling your teacher you fell off your bike when she sees the blackeye. I’m doing a lot wrong I know but you have to tell me, or I’ll never figure it out.”

The kids were silent, their food had gotten cold on their plates.

“Everyone keeps calling me a virgin, I just don’t want to be one anymore,” Gus said, his face honest.

It was such a fifteen-year-old problem. Brian looked at Justin who a second ago was close to tears. He was again but now they were mirth. Brian felt the laughter bubbling up in his chest but tapered it down, he was to help not make fun of.

“Half the kids teasing you are virgins too. There is no rush,” Brian told him.

“How old were you?” Gus asked.

Fuck. “I was fourteen, but it wasn’t an experience I wish for any of you.”

“I was almost nineteen,” Justin broke in.

“What?” Gus asked.

“I was almost nineteen and it was with the man I married.”

“So, you haven’t been with anyone else?” This from John, who blushed some when Justin turned eyes on him.

“I have since that time, but I was older and finally knew what to expect. Don’t rush into sex with men or women who you don’t care about. It doesn’t solve anything and won’t stop people from teasing you. You have to be stronger on the inside than they are on the outside,” Justin said, looking at the kids. Justin was a natural father.

“Have you ever been with a girl?” Gus asked.

“Gus,” Brian admonished.

“No, it’s all right, no secrets here tonight. Yes, with my best friend. There were some things going on that I’d rather not get into for her privacy, but the answer is yes.”

“And you and mom were together, I wasn’t like some in-vitro baby, was I?”

Brian rolled his eyes. “Yes, you were conceived o’natural.” The other boys snickered.

“But did you know you were gay before having sex with a girl or what?”

Everything came to him like a lightening bolt. None of this anger was at him, it was Gus’ anger at himself.

“Is that what you are so upset about you think you’re gay?” he asked.

Gus’ face got red, but he didn’t yell or shout. “No, I don’t like guys like that. It’s just I don’t like anyone like that. Girls or boys. I thought maybe if I had sex with Molly it would make me want girls.”

Brian grabbed Justin’s knee when he felt the man tense up. He was ready to make Gus pay for hurting his little sister. “I thought you liked the hostess here?” he asked his son.

“No, I just heard she was easy,” Gus said looking down ashamed. “I don’t think like that now…not after what happened with Molly.

“You do know there isn’t just gay or straight right?” Justin said after a second. “There’s so many different types; bisexual, pansexual, bicurious, polysexual, asexual. And probably a lot more than I know about. Just because you haven’t had those feelings yet doesn’t mean you never will, and if you never do doesn’t mean somethings wrong with you. It just means you get to choose who you spend your life with if you want, you won’t be led around by little Gus. But it’s never okay to do what you did to Molly, you owe her and apology…a real one, same with your father.”

Gus nodded his head. “I’m sorry, Dad. It wasn’t because you’re gay. I just don’t feel normal, it’s like everyone else got some playbook that I didn’t get and I’m running blind.”

“Now that I know, I can help. While your sexuality is something, you’ll have to answer yourself, I can answer any questions that I can and find the answers that I can’t. I just know these last few months have been killing me with you boys so angry at me. Can we start fresh?”

“Yeah, Dad,” Gus said as the other two nodded.

“Are you really okay? What kind of cancer did you have?” John asked.

Brian groaned. “It was testicular cancer. Yes, I’m really okay. We’ll talk more some other time when I’m not all over the place.”

“Alright. Did you mean it that you want to meet my boyfriend?”

Grinding his teeth together he forced a smile. “Yes.” A wickedly, wonderfully terrible idea came to him. “In fact, invite him to Deb’s for dinner tomorrow.” He’ll have Carl scare the living shit out of the little weasel and he’ll have his hands clean…relatively.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Christ, your boyfriend is in a band. That’s so gay,” Gus said. For the first time in a long time he smiled, a real one.

“That was lame,” John said, smiling back.

He could breath, really and truly breath, his family would be okay. He noticed a smirk on Justin’s face. Before he could ask about the smirk they were surrounded.

“Arr..Happy...Happy..Birthday,” the pirate-themed servers started to sing. Now he knew why Justin was smirking. He was going to make him pay for this.