Justin watched his son become enamored with Brian. After a few minutes of walking, Mika had stopped crying all together and started listening to Brian talk. It wasn’t like Brian was saying anything that interesting, just telling Mika about his own day and how he would have liked to throw a fit. Nanette giggle when he talked about his friend Ted, an accountant at his agency. Apparently, Brian and this Ted guy had to clean up a mess made by some others Vanguard. Brian had told Mika that he wanted to lay and the floor and kick and scream but that wouldn’t fix anything.

“Why were you so upset?” Brian asked as they started their second trip around the store.

“I wanted to get glitter, but Daddy said no,” he told him, his bottom lip sticking out. Ethan never pouted but he was sure if he did, it would look just like that.

“Why can’t you have glitter?” Brian asked, his eyes finding Justin, he was smirking as though he already knew why.

“’Because it gets everywhere, and we can’t mess up Aunt Daffy’s apartment.”

“Ah, that makes sense, is there something you can get that your Daddy would be alright with?” Brian asked. Justin didn’t think the tantum warranted a present but Mika’s whole face lit up, so who was he to say no.

“A coloring book?” he asked excitedly.

Justin held back the groan, there were things his son was great at, but coloring and drawing was not one. It wouldn’t be that bad, but he would demand his pictures go up on the fridge and get upset when he and Daphne couldn’t guess what the picture was of. He also didn’t have either his mother or father’s talent for the music. His talents would come out with time, but he wanted to be just like Justin and Ethan, it was heartbreaking sometimes.

“Well, Dad, can he have a coloring book?” Brian asked, still holding Mika.

“I guess I have to now,” he said, his voice tired.

“Can I have one too?” Nanette asked, just as excited as her brother.

“Sure,” he said. He had only come to the Big Q for some paints. They weren’t the best paints, but they were what he could afford.

They went to the aisle with the coloring books and let both pick out one each. He really didn’t need paints anyway.

“Dad, can I have this?”

Justin looked up to see one of Brian’s older boys. He couldn’t remember if it was Gus or John though. The teenager was holding a camera, one that was definitely out of Justin price range.

“I just bought you a new camera for your birthday, and it didn’t come from the Big Q either.” Distain for the store was clear in the older man’s tone.

Once upon a time he would have thought the same, growing up with the country club crowd. He had no such illusions in life anymore. In fact, he would probably be homeless if it wasn’t for Daphne. Every extra dime he made went to his attorney.

“Fine, I’m going to find John,” the boy huffed. Must mean he was Gus, Peter was smaller than the two.

“Teenagers,” Brian said, annoyed. “I don’t suggest getting one.”

Justin laughed. “I don’t think I have a choice.”

“Shame.”

“Daddy, I like this one. I want to color a picture for Gran and Pop,” Mika said.

“They would like that.”

Justin’s own parents wanted nothing to do with him or his children, but Ethan’s parents were very involved to an extent. They weren’t the type of grandparents that wanted their grandkids over every weekend or even close. Truthfully, they didn’t really like the kids wondering around their house, too scared they would break something. Justin loved them, they just weren’t touchy feely kind of people, and it only got worse after losing Ethan. Instead of grabbing onto their grandkids, they grabbed onto the idea of making Gregor and the hotel pay for their negligence. His parents didn’t want the money if they won any, it was already in writing whatever they got would go to the twins. That was fine with Justin, it felt like dirty money to him too.

A chill ran up his spine thinking about his late husband. They weren’t legally married, but it didn’t matter to him. They stood in front of their friends and some family and pledged to love one another and be faithful. Now he had doubts about how true those words had been. Two days ago, if you’d asked him if Ethan had been faithful, he would have told you one hundred percent yes. But then the call came from someone saying he was Ethan’s lover. He wasn’t even saying that they had a one-night stand, no, he said they had been together for two years.

There was something about the man’s claims that didn’t ring true though. He told Justin that they were together on Christmas last year. Ethan had gotten invited to play in Quebec, he left the day before Christmas Eve and was supposed to be gone all week. But Christmas morning, early before the kids even woke up he came home. He was running a fever, had a bad cough and looked like death warmed over. They found out later he had double pneumonia. They didn’t tell anyone he came back, and it was before Gregor signed him, so besides his agent and the people in Quebec, no one knew he came back. So it was impossible for Ethan to have spent Christmas with him, he was home sick in bed.

But this Jeremy Knott knew things about Ethan that no one else knew, private things. Not for the first time he wished Ethan was here to talk to, even if it was to yell at him.

Could he get over the betrayal of him cheating if it’s true? Maybe. Maybe not. But Ethan had been his sounding board since he was eighteen years old and brand new at PIFA. His first everything. What he wouldn’t give for Ethan to walk through the door, smiling about some piece he had finally mastered. Cheating or not, it wouldn’t have been the end of the world. He would rather break up or fight daily with Ethan than to visit him in a cemetery.

The cheating thing wasn’t the only bomb Jeremy Knott dropped on him two days ago. He said that Ethan hadn’t died in an elevator mishap, he committed suicide. Justin called him a liar right there, two things made it impossible. First, Ethan was too egotistical to do that. He wasn’t depressed and didn’t have any mental issues, he had been excited to be on the tour. The only uncertainty he heard from Ethan about anything was some of his accommodations, that hotel included, weren’t what he was promised. He knew not to expect the Ritz, but he thought safe places wasn’t too much to ask. The other reason he found Ethan killing himself impossible, he was inside an elevator that fell and none of its safety mechanisms engaged. There was no way Ethan could have done that. He had so many close calls leading up to his death it was almost like he was destined to die.

The first hotel was in a bad part of Berlin, he was mugged outside, thankfully not hurt. Second hotel, bad electrical work, it was a miracle he lived in that crappy apartment before and knew what to look for.

It was all such a mess and he didn’t know who to believe. A year ago, his biggest problem was to attend more art showings to get in with that society. Ever since he met Ethan his dreams had taken a backseat. Ethan was far from perfect, but he had doubts about him being the person Jeremy Knotts described over the phone. Something just felt very wrong, it was like he could almost put his finger on it+, but it kept moving.

After the books were bought and Brian had corralled his sons, they walked him to his car.

“What do you need to poster board for?” John asked Peter as they walked.

“I’m applying for the summer junior art program at PIFA,” Peter answered.

“Wow, I thought you had to be at least fourteen to apply,” he said as he buckled Nanette in her five-point harness seat.

“You have to be fourteen before the classes start, and I will be,” he said, he sounded so young.

“What’s the poster board for?”

“I have to make my own poster for a movie or book of my choice.”

“Who’s running the program?”

“Alton Davies.”

“Go old, very old. Whatever movie or book you pick start with the fifties or earlier. He has a soft spot for art deco, you work that into your poster and you’ve got a pretty good shot.”

“Really? Thanks.” The boy took out his pen and started writing on his hand.

“Isn’t that cheating?” Brian asked.

“No, not really. I have him a boost, but it’ll be his talent that will get him in or not.”

“Maybe you could give the guys in my art department a boost, they can’t find their asses with a chair.”

Justin laughed. Brian suddenly looked a little annoyed. “I thought you were going to call Melanie. You know I’ve called her twice now. It’s not a good experience the first time.”

“I was, but there have been somethings come up. I would love to hire her, but I can’t afford her. I looked her up, she’s one of the best family lawyers in Pittsburgh.”

“She said she would give you a discount. But if it’s not that important.”

He really did know how to go for the jugular. “Fine, I’ll call her tomorrow.”

He just nodded his head. “Call me afterwards.” Brian left no room for debate, Justin would have to call her tomorrow and call him after. He was very bossy.