A- WHERE YOU HEADED?

BRIAN:

While Justin went to talk to Emmett and Daphne, I invited the one person who I think would understand the decisions Justin and I are making the most out for a cup of coffee on the other side of town. I knew that Melanie wouldn’t have a problem meeting me so far away from the Avenue, if for no other reason than the unlikelihood that it would get back to Lindsay. Mel wouldn’t have a moment’s peace due to Lindsay’s badgering her for information that, in short, is none of her damn business. Perhaps if she spent half the time actually working, instead of trying to manage everything and everyone around her, Lindsay might have actually amounted to someone that her mother and sister would envy instead of disdain. It’s something I should have pointed out to her long ago, but I thought by living by example would actually get the message across more effectively; more fool me!

As Mel comes in the first thing I notice is the harried look she has. No doubt where the source of it lies. She sits down, and I say the one thing she obviously did not expect. “Mel, thanks for coming.”

She looks around, and I almost want to laugh at the bewildered look she’s sporting when she turns back to me. “What? You’re serious? You’re actually thanking me?”

“Of course. You didn’t have to, but it just proves that you like me at least a little to have done so.” I shrug and smirk at the same time, knowing that it will just confuse her further. What can I say? I like fucking with her. 

She snickers before replying. “Can the shit, Kinney. As per usual, your narcissistic tendencies are showing.”

“You should try it sometime. It would send an unforgettable message that you’re not to be taken for granted.”

The waitress comes over to take Mel’s coffee order while asking if I’d like another Maple Pecan mix. Justin turned me on to it when he introduced me to this place some time ago. I remember feeling a bit out of place, unhappy that Justin had brought me to this upscale place right smack in the middle of Breeder Central. But Justin assured me that there weren’t going to be any issues; that this place was a neutral zone because the owner herself was an unashamed fluid hetero who just happened to be Daphne’s aunt, Delphine. According to Justin, although Del identified as hetero, for the right woman, she wasn’t averse to playing with her.

So this place became ours when we needed to escape home to have an honest conversation yet didn’t want to go to the Diner where we would be constantly interrupted. It was a place that we could be ourselves, even if it was on the cusp of the elite world Justin grew up in. Perhaps it’s time to talk to Del about branching out since it’s definitely one of the few places I will miss. I looked out onto the lake at the back of the building where we were sitting, already thinking of how to broach the subject with the woman I’d only met a few times, but trusted because she was honest in a way that few are.

“What are you thinking about over there?” Mel asks me, as I continued to visualize the campaign Justin and I would put together if Del would go for it.

“Trying to figure out a way to get this place to make the move to L.A.”

“Why? What’s going to be happening in L.A.?”

I look Mel squarely in the eye as I say, “Justin and I are.”

“Huh?”

I chuckle. “Very articulate, Mel.” She simply responds by sticking up her middle finger at me, which actually caused both of us to laugh. 

“So seriously, what are you talking about? I know you wouldn’t have put that little tidbit out there without a reason,” Mel says.

I huff out a breath, a little nervous about her reaction although I would never admit that. Melanie Marcus, although usually analytical in her thought process, can also be quite volatile at a moment’s notice. I’m hoping that she sees all the benefits of this new situation as opposed to all the negatives possibly stemming from it. To that end, I answer, “Justin and I are moving to California. It turns out that the same company Lindsay set Justin’s paid internship up with, in an effort for him to leave Pittsburgh, is the same company that I just became a partner in. Ironically, they had been looking for us because of the Liberty Air advert Justin and I did sometime ago.”

“Wait! What? You’re moving?”

I laugh in the face of her confusion. “Yes, you heard right, Mel. The second part you obviously didn’t process is that Justin and I will be moving together to California for our careers. Justin thinks he should send Lindsay and Michael a couple of gift baskets full of lube and dildos as a thank you gift since they really fucked themselves with their machinations.”

“So Justin IS taking the scholarship and job offer. But where do you fit into all of this?”

I roll my eyes, good-naturedly since it really is a lot to take in. Hell, Justin and I have had a few more days to process all of this and yet it’s still hard to comprehend how everything happened so fast. And the fact that we’re married… So she’s allowed to have her moments of brain-farting, but I still felt compelled to tease her. “Do try to keep up, will you?”

“I’m trying, but what I’m hearing is having trouble computing. You and Justin are moving TOGETHER to California because of a plot that Michael and Lindsay began?” She shakes her head and then laughs aloud. “Oh my God, the screeching and screaming you two are going to leave in your wake… Well, spill all, Kinney! And why the fuck didn’t you call me, at least in reference to Justin’s contract? I hope he didn’t sign anything that stunts his growth. Brian, you have to tell me everything that you know about it!”

She looks at me with worried eyes, and I can plainly see that she’s genuinely concerned for him. She knows that she wouldn’t have to worry about me, but Justin really is the little brother she’s never had. “First, don’t worry about it, Mel. I called Gabriel to look over the contracts for both me and Justin. He certainly would have asked you to do it, but we both agreed that with Lindsay acting…”

“Like the raving bitch she has been since you guys left and I called off the wedding…”

“About that though,” I interrupted. “Why did you do that, Mel? Tying yourself to Lindz was something you were really passionate about. So why call it off when you were about to get everything you wanted?”

Just as she was about to answer the question that Justin and I spent a whole day speculating the answer to, the waitress came to deliver our coffees. While Mel quietly thanked her for both of us, I could see that she was also choosing her words very carefully. Why is she trying to be diplomatic instead of blatantly honest? There’s only one reason I could think of for that. And it’s confirmed with her next words.

She sighs before speaking again. “Brian, I couldn’t in good conscience marry a woman- tie myself to Lindsay- who deliberately plotted against someone she’s always lauded to be her best friend. I couldn’t marry a woman, who would knowingly attempt to sabotage someone else’s relationship for no other reason than to keep some image of you to the forefront of her mind. I know good and hell well that this wasn’t all done for Justin’s benefit, as she’s been telling everyone it was. It was done simply because while she claims to be happy with me, she still believes in her delusions about you.”

“Mel…” I start but she holds up her hand to stop me.

“I know that it isn’t your fault, Brian. I think I’ve known that for a long time, even though I didn’t want to admit it aloud because it would make the theory seem real somehow. But… well, I’ve always tried to be straightforward with myself at the very least, and this time I couldn’t deny what my gut has been telling me for a long time. Lindsay isn’t as committed to making us work as she purports to be. So I’ve decided to give her time to be so.”

“Does that mean it’s over between you two?”

“Not yet… I mean, NO, it isn’t. She’s offered to go to counseling, but I don’t think it will help. It sure as hell didn’t the last time, even after the few thousands of dollars you’ve paid for us to go after the whole marry-Gui-for-a-green-card fiasco. So no, this time, Lindsay will either have to shit or get off the pot. And she’ll have to do without any support from you.”

“What do you mean by that exactly?” I know what I think she’s trying to ask me, but I want to hear what she needs me to do directly from her. Mel has never really asked me for anything, so I know if she voices a concern, to not only listen closely to what she says but actually hear what she doesn’t.

“Look, I know that you and her are friends, even if she fantasizes about it being more. Again, I don’t hold you solely responsible for that. I know that there is something lacking within Lindsay that keeps her from being completely happy, and she’s used both of us to fill that void. Consequently, she is now using Gus to tie us up in knots as well. So I’m asking you, Brian, to distance yourself from her for awhile. I need to see if she and I can really make it together as a family, or if I’m just her way of playing ‘HOUSE’ until you decide to be bi with her.”

“Why put yourself through all of that though? Why not just make up your mind to move on with your life? She can’t stop either of us from spending time with Gus as his parents, thanks to Justin’s suggestion of third-party adoption on your behalf. So why not just save your sanity before things get any more out of hand?”

Mel sighs, and I can tell that the questions I asked seem to be the same ones causing a war within herself. If she’s honest, she’ll admit that they have been for a while now; Justin pointed that out. I guess there really is something to him being considered the outsider. Because he has the ability to see the dynamics between all of us that we either refuse to acknowledge or have become so inured that the shift in them doesn’t even register anymore. I’m of the opinion that it’s the latter.

“I want to be certain, Brian,” Mel tells me. “I don’t want to have to wonder if there was something I could have done that would have prevented us from imploding. I want to make sure that I’ve given this relationship every single chance to succeed and to have no regrets if it doesn’t.”

“Ten years is a long time to be with someone and not know the answers to those particular questions,” I point out.

“Yes, it is. But perhaps the answers have been staring me in the face all along and I’ve just been willfully blind to them. Perhaps, I’ve settled where Lindsay is concerned as well, which would make me just as guilty as she is for fantasizing about you while sleeping in my bed and living in the house with where I struggle to pay the mortgage.”

“And you don’t consider your present state of mind concerning Lindsay as a sure sign that you’re settling?” I ask, a little bewildered at her way of thinking. I swear estrogen makes women think in the strangest ways! Which considering that with two percent more testosterone, Melanie could have been Melvin is saying quite a bit.

Melanie shakes her head at me, a small smirk on her face. “I know what you’re thinking, Asshole. And it has nothing to do with hormones, but everything to do with your theory of no apologies, no excuses, and no regrets.”

“Glad to know that I’ve inspired you, although I wish it wasn’t in being an emotional slave to Lindsay.”

“Is that how you see me?” Mel asks me, a little hurt. 

“It doesn’t matter how I see you, but how you see yourself.”

“Tell me, Brian, if this was the situation between you and Justin, how would you handle it?”

“It wouldn’t be.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because Justin and I are of the mind that if it no longer brings you peace, it has to be evicted from your mind. A relationship is between two entities Mel, which is something that Justin and I are learning. Besides the career opportunities, it’s another positive in moving to California, because now we’ll get to be together without everyone else here deciding how Justin and I should live OUR lives, simply based on his age and their ideals alone. Understand this though, Mel, a one-sided relationship that is no longer serving you but hindering your growth as a person, should not be allowed to continually rent space in your mind. You may not have value to Lindsay as you ought to, but since you’re into the whole commitment thing, there has to be someone out there for you to live that life with, right?”

“And you? Have you suddenly become ‘into’ the whole commitment thing?”

I had to think about that for a moment before answering her honestly. “Not really… except with Justin.”

‘Wait! Are you saying that he’s it for you?”

“Not saying that specifically. But if there ever was, Justin would be that for me. He just gets me in a way that no one else has or ever could, especially Michael and Lindsay. But I mean, who knows, right? Justin and I might not even last, but one thing is for sure. We would never turn our association into what Lindsay has turned your relationship into. As a partner, Justin doesn’t allow me to sit, stew, and second guess myself; you shouldn’t allow Lindsay to do that to you either.”

“Wow! It sounds like this move is going to be the best thing for you guys.”

“It’s definitely going to make or break us in many ways.”

“So tell me about how this all came to be…”

I spent the following half an hour filling Mel in on everything, except that one crucial change in mine and Justin’s relationship. Both of us decided that other than Vic and Jennifer, no one else needed to know about it until we were ready to disclose the particulars. We wanted to have the feeling of being married without all the added pressure of the family’s opinions about it. Of course, that excludes Ted, but he’ll know not to say anything upon threat of the hit I’ll put on his life if he does. It’s fun being able to intimidate him into silence.

“Unbelievable!” Mel exclaimed, before continuing, “And yet, it could only happen this way to the two of you.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I always said that you were like Teflon, where shit just never sticks to you. It appears that Justin is made of the same kind of stuff.”

I laugh. “I suppose you’re right. Plus Sunshine is proving himself to be quite the little strategist.”

“Oh? How?”

“It was ultimately his decision to give Lindsay what she wants, but not the way she wanted it. Between him and our new associate, Dahlia Prince, they both have a problem with entitled princesses. That’s their words, not mine. I just call Lindz a bitch with mommy issues and have done with it.”

Mel gasped at first but then shook her head laughing. “I guess that’s one way to look at it. Nancy sure has left her mark on Lindsay.”

“Not Lynette?”

“Oh yeah, her too. But Lynette is just a new and improved clone of Nancy. She plays Nancy’s game and then pisses her off when she comes off even richer than when she started. But mostly that’s because Lynette actually works. Her investment portfolio alone rivals her father's and that just pisses Nancy off. Angering Lindsay is just the added bonus for Lynette.”

“How do you know so much about it?”

“I learned to listen to Lindsay beyond the screeching.” Mel sighs again. “What’s funny is that her grandparents left them both the same amount of money, which was a pretty substantial amount. But while Lynette kept half of hers and invested the rest, Lindsay blew through hers faster than a hooker could get a man off. Now she’s crying for all the things she wishes she had, while watching Lynette get everything she wants. And now with this new situation featuring you and Justin…”

“It’s just going to be one more thing she’s failed at. You know, if she put half as much effort into managing her own life as she does trying to manage mine and now Justin’s...”

Mel nods. “She would feel a lot more accomplished than she does right now. She’s convinced herself that while you were away, you would force Justin to take the positions she’s arranged. She’s going to skeet herself like a puppy when she hears that you did. In fact, I should probably buy those waterproof pads that are used when housebreaking a pup; don't need my hardwood floors to take the brunt of her excitement. However, then she'll shit a brick when she finds out it didn’t yield the results she and Michael wanted. So what do you want me to do?”

“What are you offering?”

“To keep your secrets, while watching Lindsay tie herself in knots trying to figure out what you’re doing. Although at first, she’ll view your absence as you being off somewhere licking your wounds, instead of living your life.”

“Wait a minute. I thought you said that the reason you are staying in the relationship with her was to make sure you weren’t making a mistake by leaving her?”

“Yes, that’s MY reasoning. But I hold no illusions that once she feels you’ve had enough time to grieve Justin's loss by her standards, she’s going to be right back to sniffing after your high-priced ass. And when that happens, I’ll see everything I need to see.”

And isn’t it a sad day when I can actually see it all happening the exact way Melanie is saying it? I take a sip of my semi-cold coffee, before addressing the only real issue left to be discussed. “About Gus…”

“If anything incredibly serious happens with him while you're away, I will be the one to call you. Or if I can’t I’ll have either Ted, Em, Vic, or Jennifer call you. I would imagine that they will be the ones you and Justin plan on telling next?”

I nod. “Them and Daphne. Justin and I will be back and forth to the Pitts- mainly me- to keep up appearances for the most part, so our lives remain OURS for as long as possible. But we really wanted a plan in place beforehand so that we could safely ignore the numerous phone calls bound to be sent my way.”

“Not Justin?”

“No. Lindsay might call just to be the fucking nosy idiot she is. But with Justin where she and Michael want him, they won’t see him as the main reason I’m not around. They tend to underestimate Justin, which works to our advantage, especially right now.”

“I know this is a weird question, and I suppose on the surface I already have an idea of the answer. But why aren’t you opting to tell Debbie?”

“Because I don’t want her to have to choose between me and Michael.”

“What makes you think she’ll have to?”

I can’t help but stare into my coffee for a moment, wishing that I didn’t have to understand this even if no one else would. I huff out a breath before I finally speak my gathered thoughts into existence. “Other than the fifty calls a day- for two damn weeks- to both mine and Justin’s cell phones that went unanswered despite the voicemails that demanded we call her back, there were the calls from Michael and Lindsay as well, who also left voicemails. While mine from Deb and Lindsay were meant to guilt me into letting Justin go, Michael’s were all about what he was hearing from Lindz and his Ma.

"Then there were the ones he left on Justin’s voicemail, which actually let his true thoughts about Justin being with me be known. Somehow he’s got his mother believing that he was just looking out for Justin’s wellbeing when it was anything but. So rather than attempt to pry Deb’s eyes open with a crowbar, I’ve just decided to let her go on believing the best of Michael and Lindsay’s machinations until it’s impossible for her to keep on the rose-colored glasses. I just simply refuse to waste my words trying to assert my right to live my life as I see fit; actions will speak louder than they can scream."  

“Understandable,” Mel says as she leaned forward to pick up her mug of cold coffee. “Well there’s only one thing left for me to do then... well other than to be your eyes and ears here in this Burgh.”

“Which is?”

“Sit back and enjoy the fireworks.”

“Trust me when I tell you that watching all of their plans blow up will rival any Fourth of July.”

She clinks her ceramic mug against mine while winking mischievously. “I’m counting on it.”