“Do you have BearBear?” Justin asked as he locked up the Rv. It was too big to park in his sister’s driveway, so he parked it at a campground and decided to take a taxi.

He had Cal’s presents packed in his duffle bag, knowing his sister would want them to stay the night. It was Christmas Eve and she would want to spoil their brother. He had finally gotten the guts up and called her a few hours ago, telling her they were on their way. Guilt ate at him when he heard her sniffle. His sister was a badass exec, she didn’t cry easily.

“Got BearBear,” Cal said with a firm nod.

They had gotten BearBear at the Mystic Aquarium. They had met a nice woman at the store, Justin listened as she talked of her family. Then out of nowhere she asked if he had taken Cal to the aquarium. He had told her no; she had her son in law drive her to the aquarium all but making Justin and Cal follow behind in Fred. She then told the woman at the entrance that they were her grandchildren. Apparently, she had a grandfathered in membership, as long as she came with her family they were allowed in for free. He told her he felt bad about lying. She told him grandchildren didn’t have to be blood, and the staff probably thought she had well over fifty grandchildren. Then she invited him in the summer for her 100th birthday party. Hell, he was thinking about going. It’s part of traveling that he loved, making friends with all sorts of people.

The taxi he called for wasn’t there yet and it was starting to snow.

“I’m cold,” Cal said, hugging his BearBear closer to himself.

Just as Justin was about to call the taxi company again, a familiar car slowed down in front of him. He had seen the sleek Lexus before from the window at his sister’s work. So, he wasn’t surprised when the window went down, and Molly’s boss was visible.

“Need a ride?”

“What are you doing out here?” There was no way he was just driving through a campground.

“Your sister called me. Her husband’s had one too many and her youngest is throwing a fit. I was just leaving my son’s apartment, so it wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“But I didn’t tell her I was parking here.”

“She’s a smart woman…also you had her look up campgrounds for you.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Does the kid have a car seat?” Brian asked.

“Umm…no, he’s six.”

“Christ. He’s still too little to be without at least a booster, five-point-harness is the best.”

“Oh, I don’t have one of those. I didn’t know.” No one had told him. He knew he would get all this wrong.

“It’s not big deal, the Big Q is still open for another hour. We’ll swing by and get one. You really want to get one because it’s supposed to snow pretty heavy tonight.”

Usually when it snowed heavy, he stayed where he was, he got better pictures and mostly did hiking. Cal had really changed the way he did things.

“Fuck,” he said quietly.

“It’s alright, you’re learning. You think I knew everything twenty-two years ago? It’s all a process.”

Justin got Cal in the car and buckled him in, hoping the trip to the Big Q didn’t take long. Now he was worried about wrecking. He hadn’t been at all worried before and they had done thousands of miles in the last few weeks. Justin then slid in the passenger’s seat.

“Why is my ass hot?”

Brian raised his eyebrows. “I would say something else but because of little ears being in the car, I’ll just say heated seats.”

The radio was on low, but they could still hear the music clearly. Justin smiled; he had been trying to avoid Christmas music because it was so repetitive while driving. Seemed like Brian felt the same way.

“Tell it to my heart, tell me I’m the only one. Is this really love or just a game?” Cal sang.

“Is he singing to Taylor Dayne?” Brian asked as they listened to Cal sing along with the radio.

“Yep. Tell it to my Heart is actually one of his favorites. We listen to a lot of music while driving. We sing loud and proud.”

Brian laughed. “I guess that’s one way to get him to talk.”

“Oh, he’s just shy right now. Usually he’s a regular chatterbox.”

Brian pulled up outside Molly’s house. They were later than he planned, the Big Q was a madhouse. Brian had been to Molly’s house a few times before; he knew her car and her husband’s car. There was a car in her drive that wasn’t either of their cars. He knew she usually kept theirs in the garage.

“I wonder who that is.” he said casually.

“My mother. My sister is a traitor. If I were you, I would run as fast and as far as you can.”

Brian had met Molly’s mother before, he thought she was alright. But after his mother Belle Gunness look maternity.

“I can go in with you,” he volunteered. Truthfully, he didn’t want to go back to a dark house.

“It’s your funeral.”

Justin got out and picked up a sleeping Cal, Brian grabbed Justin’s bag and Caleb’s stuffed shark that had the unfortunate name of BearBear.

“If you want, I can pay for a hotel room for you,” Brian offered as they walked.

“I don’t really like hotels; they feel fake to me. I prefer my van, Fred but Cal needed a home.”

“So, you got an RV?”

“The magazine did, the only thing I own is that van.”

“Don’t you want a home?”

“Home? Molly said something like that. Boxing yourself in like fish in a tank? That’s my idea of hell.”

“What are you running from?” Brian asked but before Justin could answer or more likely deflect the door to the house opened.

A prim, graying blonde woman answered. Her eyes locked on Justin and she seemed to recoil a little at the sight of the boy in his arms.

“Mom, good to see you,” Justin said, stepping in, forcing her to move back and allow them in.

The house was brightly decorated in Christmas décor that looked really nice. Brian usually wasn’t one for Christmas stuff, bad memories of a childhood best forgotten. All he had left of a biological family was his son and two nephews, but he didn’t speak to them. Both his parents were long dead. His sister had a heart attack the year before and died. He wasn’t close to her, but it still hurt when she died. Her kids didn’t even come to the service. His nephew Peter had called him and told him they couldn’t afford to bury her. Brian paid for her funeral and even went to it. Besides him there were only a few of her coworkers and that was it. She was a bitch of a sister, but she raised those kids alone after her husband ran off and they couldn’t even be bothered to drive across town to be there. He hated both his parents but was there when both were lowered into the ground.

There was sounds of laughing children, more than the two that belonged to Molly he was sure.

Four children came running in, two he recognized as Molly’s children. There were two others that he didn’t recognize, they were dark-skinned and wearing identical red Christmas dresses. A short, dark-skinned woman with a bright smile entered from the kitchen.

“Daphne,” Justin said from beside him.

“Well, I would say you were my best friend Justin, but I haven’t seen or heard from him in about ten years.”

“Jeez, Daph, way to lay on the guilt.”

“Justin, a word, please?”

Even Brian felt the chill when Justin’s mother spoke.

“Sure. Molly, can you take him?”

“Yeah.”

Justin passed the sleeping boy to his sister and followed his mother into a side room.

“Justin’s in trouble,” Molly sing-songed.

Justin sat at his sister’s desk waiting for his mother to unleash. He could tell she was going to yell. It always made him feel like a child, she had that way about her.

“What were you thinking?”

“Huh?” He was confused now.

“You have no right to take on that child. You can’t take care of yourself.”

“I’ve been taking care of myself fine since I was seventeen.”

“Maybe but you can’t take care of others, you’ve always been spoiled and self-serving. Always thinking about only yourself.”

“I can take care of Cal.”

“Like you took care of Harry?” She paused and looked him dead in the eye. “Like you took care of Walter?”

 “I’m going back out there to spend Christmas eve with my siblings. If all you have is a lost dog and Walter’s death, then we have nothing more to say.”

His heart was beating hard, memories of Walter assaulted him. He left the office before he said something he regretted.

“Justin, look it,” Cal said, he seemed to have woken up and now munching on sugar cookies.

“He’s never going to sleep now,” he told Molly.

“You deserve it for being a pain in my ass.”

Justin turned to look at Brian. “I wanted to thank you for giving us a ride and helping get the carseat.”

“No problem. I was wondering, would you and Cal like to have Christmas dinner with my family tomorrow night? I’ve got a feeling you’ll be needing a break from all this merriment.”

Justin laughed. “That would be great.” He already knew he wouldn’t be sleeping tonight; Walter was never far from his mind and when he was so casually brought up like that, he knew if he did sleep it would be just nightmares of that day.

Brian was driving over to Molly’s to pick up Justin and Cal. Just like he suspected Justin sounded stressed and uptight when he called. Cal on the other hand apparently had the best Christmas he’d ever had. His sister and her family had gotten him so many toys he didn’t know what to play with first.

When Brian pulled into the drive he laughed as Justin came running out of the house and got in his car.

“Cal wants to stay and play with his toys. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

Brian didn’t need to be told twice, he backed out of the drive and headed for his house. The Christmas dinner wasn’t for a few more hours but Justin had sounded desperate on the phone.

“We’re going to my house for a while, just until the party. I hope that’s alright.”

“Can I drink?”

“Umm…yeah.”

“Then it’s perfectly fine.”

“Why couldn’t you drink there?” Brian asked, worried that Justin might have a drinking problem. He didn’t want to enable that behavior, which was a laugh with his history.

“No, according to both my mother and my sister booze would make me unable to take care of Cal.”

“No wonder you had to get out of there. They’re treating you like a naughty teen who got his girlfriend pregnant. Not a brother taking on responsibly that wasn’t his to begin with.”

“I just need to not be responsible for anything for the next few hours.”

“I can do that.”

They barely made it through the door before they were all over each other.

“I want you,” Brian hissed in Justin ear.

“What are you waiting for?”

Justin was surprised by Brian’s possessive manhandling, not that he minded. Brian made him feel wanted, young and treasured. Something that he hadn’t felt in an awfully long time…if ever. As Brian held him against the wall, Justin felt like a teenager again. Justin wrapped his legs around Brian’s waist, being pinned between the wall and Brian.

“Bed, now,” Brian said, lowering Justin to the ground.

“Where?” Justin panted.

Brian pointed to the right of where they were standing. Brian’s house wasn’t big, but it was fancy, that Justin could tell already. He didn’t spend much time on it though because he was dragged into Brian’s room and stripped of his clothes.

“I’m feeling a little underdressed,” Justin said, looking at Brian standing at the end of the bed. He was fully clothed still. Brian pushed Justin back and Justin landed on the bed.

“Good.”

Brian was sending off major alpha male vibes, good thing it was a turn on for Justin. It was funny because usually this type of behavior was a huge turn off.

Justin maneuvered himself so he was comfortable on the bed, waiting to see what Brian did next. Brian walked to the bedside table and pulled out condoms and lube. A shiver went up Justin’s spine.

“Don’t look so worried,” Brian said, smiling wickedly.

“Said the spider to the fly.”

Brian chuckled and joined Justin on the bed. Hands roamed all over his body but every time he tried to touch Brian back, Brian would grab his hands and pin them to the bed. Slowly, Justin started to feel more naked than he ever had before. He needed to tell Brian some pertinent information.

“This is hot an all but start slow, it’s been a while since I bottomed.”

Brian’s eyes widened. “How long?”

“Twenty-two years.”

“Holy shit, you think you got your virginity back if it’s old enough to drink?”

“Haha, just…you know ok?”

“Ok.”

Justin was sure he saw the stars during the lovemaking, and that’s exactly what it was. There was too much passion, too much possession, just too many feelings to be just sex. He needed to get the fuck out of there as soon as possible.