“This is a change from your Lexus,” Justin said as Brian took a tarp off of his Jeep.

“What can I say, I couldn’t get rid of it. You’re lucky that I keep it tuned up.” Brian threw his suitcase in the back. “We’ll stop by the RV and get some of your clothes.”

“I’ll buy some one our way, the RV park is out of our way. I want to get to Harry as soon as possible.”

“Whatever you say.” Brian entered in their destination into his GPS. Justin looked at him and shook his head. “What?”

“Seems like these things are a waste of money. But as seeing now I have to keep updated logs of my mileage and expenses, I guess I’ll have to get one. When I was with Fred we just roamed.”

“Please don’t start talking about your van again.”

“It’s really a minibus, I just call him a van because he thinks being called a minibus makes him look fat.”

Brian shook his head; it was going to be a long ass eighteen hours roundtrip.

It was six miles into the trip and Brian had a new appreciation for Caleb. Justin was messing with the radio and every time he found a station that picked up well, he would shake his head and change again.

“What are you looking for?”

“Eighties music.”

Brian hit preset four and glared at Justin, daring him to change it again.

“Sorry, I’m used to driving. I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m not driving.”

“Why don’t you talk, it’ll get your mind off of things.”

“Talk about what?”

“Anything.”

“Oh. I slept with your friend’s husband.”

Brian had just taken a sip of coffee he had grabbed at the attached coffee store when he got gas.

“What the fuck?”

“Yeah, the tall guy…Ben. It was before I was kicked out, in fact it was sort of the reason I got kicked out. My mom found some of my drawings of him and few pictures I took, and showed my dad.”

“You took a pictures of Ben?”

“Yeah, I asked him to model for me but since it was just a one-night thing, he let me take a picture of him.”

“You better keep that quiet. Mikey likes to think that Ben was pretty much a monk before getting together.”

“Really?”

“Ben and I fucked once at a white party before Michael even met him. We thought it was best not to bother Mikey with the past.”

“Meaning you lied.”

“By omission.”

“I hope he’s not vengeful.” Brian didn’t answer, truth was Michael was spiteful little cuss when he thought he was wronged. He remembered when Mel and Lindsay asked Michael to father their child. Michael was so excited until Mel laid out the plan. Basically, he would have even less access to his child than Brian had to Gus. Brian and Lindsay were close, so she was always bringing Gus over, Mel and Michael weren’t close at all. Michael passed on that and somehow blamed Brian for not having the child. Mel got pregnant with an unknown sperm donor, lost the baby, nobodies’ fault but she blamed herself about four months in. Lindsay and Mel divorced after that and it took them ten years to get back together.

Justin seemed to find a radio station he liked because now he was singing.

“I’m not saying your voice is bad, in fact it’s nice but Whitney got paid to sing, so why don’t we let her.”

“What? You don’t like to sing while you drive?”

“Only when I’m high.”

“Well, I don’t have my stash so that’s out of the question, anyway I don’t while I’m driving.”

“Careful or you’ll start sounding like an adult.”

Justin laughed. “I make no excuses for my life. I’ve had a lot of fun and done some amazing things. There are very few regrets.”

“Name one.”

Justin looked at him like he lost his mind. “What?”

“Name one of your regrets. You give me one, I’ll give you one. We’ve got a long trip ahead of us.”

Justin sat there for a while, Brian thought he may be ignoring him. “Alright but what I say in this car is confidential, understand?”

“Scouts honor,” Brian said.

“Were you a scout?”

“For a whole day until the old man threw a beer bottle at the scout master.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Guy was probably a creep anyway. I don’t trust any adult in short pants.”

Justin laughed. “I guess you shouldn’t see my Steve Irwin costume.”

“That’s kind of dark.”

“Not after the accident, you’re morbid, aren’t you?”

“Probably, alright, enough stalling. Spill.”

“About fifteen years ago I was pretty famous, but no one knew my name.”

Brian turned and looked at Justin. What the hell did that mean?

“Is that some kind of riddle, Sunshine?”

“Nope. Even now some people try to find out my identity.”

“Where you on a game show?”

“Nope.”

“Alright, something that people don’t know your name so something you didn’t want, right?”

“Correct.”

“Was someone else involved?”

“Yes, two people.”

“Male? Female?”

“One was male I don’t know the gender of the other person.”

“Was it on television?”

“Yes, in several differnet countries and languages. But it’s mostly known for being online.”

Online? “A video?”

“Yes.”

What kind of video would he regret? “Were you singing or dancing?”

“No.”

Brian was out of ideas. “I don’t know. Was it a sex tape?” he asked, he really was stumped.

“Yep.”

“WHAT?” He had asked as a joke.

Brian slowed the jeep down and pulled over to the side of the road. He looked at Justin, really looked. He almost gasped. Shorten Justin’s hair and it was identical to what he looked like fifteen years ago. The video wasn’t the best, but Brian and his friends had watched it a few hundred times along with every other person in the world.

“The fucking twink caught on tape blowing Connor James.”

“Did more than just that.”

“Yeah, I remember. Oh god, the guys aren’t going to believe it.”

“NO! You said you would keep it quiet.”

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, I won’t tell, but fuck. Connor James. You ended his marriage.”

“He ended his marriage. Saying I ended his marriage is like saying the Oscar he won after he was outed was thanks to me too.”

“Umm…he did thank you. Well, he thanked Bendy Blond.”

“Way to class up the Oscars. I didn’t watch, I was in Germany when he won.”

“What were you doing in Germany?”

“Nope, you owe me a regret.”

Brian huffed. “Let’s see, regrets. That’s a hard one because I live my life without them.”

“Everyone has regrets.”

“Fine, I regret fucking a potential client to get him to sign.”

“Gross, can’t say I’ve never done anything with someone in my work though.”

“Oh? A regret?”

“No, I fucked my boss Dean, but it wasn’t for a professional gain. It was a present.”

“What?” And Brian thought he was conceded.

“He wanted to do something special for his twentieth wedding anniversary. Trust me, it was one of the less weird threesomes I’ve been involved in and his husband was hot.”

“You really are an enigma, aren’t you?”

Justin just smiled. Brian knew he was well and truly fucked because all he wanted to do was strip the mystery around the blond. They stopped talking mostly because Justin just started to stare tiredly out the window. After a few more miles, the younger man was asleep. Shit. Now he would have to entertain himself.

Justin woke up to cursing.

“Fuck!” Brian said, hitting the steering wheel.”

“What’s going on?” Justin asked tiredly.

“My ex.”

Justin was still half asleep, so he looked around, expecting to see said ex. “What about him?”

“He just called me, wanting me to get him out of trouble, yet again.”

“I’ve never had a relationship, so I don’t know. Is that normal?”

“It is with Kip.”

“Kip? What kind of name is that?”

“A stupid one. Years ago, I fucked an underling. He wanted a promotion he didn’t deserve. The only way I could get him to drop his sexual harassment suit and without fucking up my job was making him a kept man.”

“Wow, guess I wasn’t missing anything. What does he need?”

“He’s in jail and wants me to bail him out.”

“Are you?”

“Fuck no. He’s the idiot that decided to fuck get high and break into someone’s house. Turns out when you have no direction in life and ample money you can become a meth head.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. What’s another regret?”

It took a moment for Justin to catch up. Brian looked pissed and not ready to have a fun conversation like earlier. He wondered how much hell this Kip put Brian through. He said they dated because he was forced into it, but maybe he developed feelings for the man. Justin needed to cheer him up. He had a couple that weren’t lighthearted or funny, but he did have a few that were hilarious.

“Every year I’ll get a hotel room and eat my weight in pizza and watch the Indy 500 and cry.”

Well, Brian didn’t look pissed off now, instead he looked at Justin oddly.

“Should I ask why?”

“The love of my life.”

“Explain.”

The muscles in Brian’s jaw clinched. Justin wondered what that was about.

“When I was young and oh so stupid, I got a job in concession at Indianapolis Motor Speedway. I was twenty-two or so, I met a driver named Paulo. He was gorgeous and funny, and straighter than any man I’ve met. I confessed my ever undying love to him and he patted my head like I was a child. So, my regret is once a year I gorge and cry about the straight boy who I ended up helping him meet his wife. So, there’s my regret, a silly crush that I still have almost twenty years later.”

“That is the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah, I know. When we get gas, I want to switch. I’m going crazy not driving.”

“My ass hurts,” Brian bitched.

Justin snorted. “It wasn’t even that long of a drive.”

“Says the man that is always on the road.”

It was early morning and they were standing outside Smokey Mountain Rescue Paws. Justin couldn’t wait to see his little guy again. The last hour of driving he had been quiet because his mind was on Harry. Justin waited until Brian finished stretching and bitching before they headed to the office. They had to stop for a few hours earlier just so they were there after the rescue opened.

He could hear dogs barking but he also saw a field with farm animals. Seemed this rescue saved all animals, he thought that was good.

“How big is your dog?” Brian asked.

“Huh? Oh, he’s not big at all. He’s about fifteen pounds, but they said he had lost weight.”

“Fucking hell, you have an ankle biter?”

“That’s dogist. He’s a good boy, I’ve never seen him not get along with anyone.”

Brian rolled his eyes, but Justin didn’t care, he was close to seeing his boy now. The office window had a flip sign that said open, so he opened the door and walked in. The office was a trailer that was turned into an office. There was a smiling woman behind a desk.

“Let me guess, you are Justin Taylor?”

“How’d you know?”

“I’ve got four messages from you, three from your sister and it’s five minutes after we opened.”

Justin laughed he guessed he was a little over the top.

“Sorry, he’s been missing a long time. I thought he was gone, really gone. I didn’t think he could survive on his own out here alone.”

“Dogs are very resourceful, even little guys like him. Let’s do the paperwork then I’ll go get Harry.”

After the paperwork was filled out and he proved he was who he said he was, she left to get Harry.

“I can’t stand it; he’s going to be here soon.”

“It’s just a dog.”

Justin glared at Brian but chose to ignore the dig. Harry wasn’t just a dog. He was Justin’s best friend, his confidant, the one who reminded him it was time to take his medicine.

The door opened; Justin turned around to face the door. Harry was there pulling at the leash to get to Justin when he saw him. When the door shut, the woman dropped the leash and Harry ran to him. Justin got on the ground and scooped up his little guy. Harry was crying and whining, trying to burrow into Justin’s chest.

“I got you, I got you,” he told him.

Justin hoped that Brian didn’t see he was crying.

Brian went back and waited in the jeep until Justin and the dog came out. He had waited as long as he could but after the hundredth time Justin thanking the rescue, he needed to get this show on the road. Justin had donated a sizable donation also.

“Ready?” Brian asked as Justin got back in the car, holding the rat to his chest.

“Yes,” he said, snuggling the dog closer.

“I guess he’s not all that bad,” Brian said, reaching out to pet the dog. The dog lunged and bit him on the palm. “What the fuck?” he snapped as the dog hid on Justin.

“I’ve never seen him act that way. He loves everyone. I know everyone says small dogs are a bit neurotic, but he’s never bit anyone or even came close to it.”

Brian looked at his palm, the skin hadn’t broken. It was a warning, Harry was laying down his claim, Brian saw it for what it was. He knew a war had just begun.

“I hope he doesn’t behave this way at Cal,” Justin said worriedly.

“I’m sure it’s just because of the separation. Let him feel more secure, the drive should help,” Brian said, still glaring at the little rat.

“I’m really sorry he bit you, it’s so unlike him.”

“I bring it out of people,” Brian said smiling, he wasn’t hurt, and it had been more of a warning than attack. He just knew not to close his eyes around the dog.