It was hard for Justin to get back to his sunny disposition. Because he loved Brian so much, it was easy for the other man to hurt him. Sometimes he wondered why he even tried. After the first round Debbie had insisted on them eating something, she didn’t want people throwing up all over her house.

“Are we ready for the next round?” Ted asked.

“Maybe we should stop,” Emmett hedged.

“NO! We are going to play,” Justin snapped. He’ll be damned if anyone feels sorry for him and stop playing because they think stupid, naïve Sunshine can’t take it. “Vic, you’re up.”

He felt bad because Vic looked uncomfortable and a little tired. He wouldn’t push ones that didn’t want to play.

Vic sighed. “Never have I ever been to a country club.”

Justin, Daphne, Justin’s mom and Lindsay took a drink, it was times like that that made him feel out of place. Brian worked hard for everything he got, Justin just fucked his way to being comfortable, at least that’s what everyone says. He heard the whispers on Liberty Avenue.

Justin made eye contact with Debbie hoping she would put the game back in the fun category. If anyone could it was Debbie.

Debbie popped chocolate in her mouth, after she ate it she cleared her throat. “Never have I ever streaked.”

Justin laughed as Vic, Mel, Ben and…his mom. He stopped laughing. “MOM?”

“I wanted to join a sorority and it was rush week,” she said with a shrug.

“Did you get in?” Vic asked.

“No. But that didn’t matter so much after I was thrown in campus security jail.”

“What happened there?” Justin asked.

“I got a date.”

Everyone laughed including him. His mom put up with all his crazy antics and life. He’ll let her have a past and not make faces…much.

“Your turn, Mom,” Justin said, giving her a small smile.

“Oh, I know a good one. Never have I ever done drugs.”

His mom pouted a little when there wasn’t one person that didn’t take a shot.

“Sorry, mom,” Justin said as he took a shot. He was officially feeling the shots pretty good. It looked like Debbie was too.

“I’m going to switch to water, I’m not as young as I used to be,” Debbie said.

“I’m switching too, just in case Gus wakes up,” Lindsay added.

It was Ted’s turn now and he was taking way too long to think, it was annoying.

“Hurry up, Schmidt, we’re getting sober here,” Brian bitched.

“Fine. Never have I ever blackmailed anyone,” Ted said. No one took a drink, he felt everyone looked at him as he grabbed his shot and downed it.

“Who did you blackmail? Ronald McDonald? Big Bird?” Michael joked. It didn’t feel that funny to Justin.

“Come on baby, share,” Emmett said.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” he said. “There was a jerk that was lying about something, and I just made him believe that it wouldn’t be in his best interest.”

“Just tell him,” Daphne said. “He should know everything you do for him behind the curtain.”

“Daph, just drop it,” Justin hissed.

“Who are you talking about?” Brian asked. Justin could see that he wasn’t going to drop it. Brian wasn’t one for being in the dark about anything.

“That guy that was suing you for sexual harassment, Kip Thomas. I came onto him and kind of said that my dad wouldn’t be happy and may call the police after finding out a grown man was with his underage son. I may have mentioned my dad beating up you too. But I told him he would never have to know if he dropped the suit.”

“Shit. That’s why he dropped the lawsuit?” Mel said, laughing and shaking her head.

Brian didn’t say anything just glared at Justin. Justin was so over this. Whatever he did was wrong to Brian. If Brian had done it he would have said that it was deserved but since it was him, it was a stupid childish thing.

“Never have I ever hooked up in the backroom of Babylon,” Mel said, trying to stop the weird vibe going on. Justin liked her more for that.

Of course, the only ones to drink were the males in the room…all of them.

Justin could see his mom looking at him with disappointment, but it wasn’t like he could change it or that he wanted too. This was his life, not hers and he was going to live it like he wanted. He could be dead right now but got a second chance, it would not be wasted.

Before Ben could say anything, the front door opened. It was only because of the candles that they were able to see that it was Carl. Debbie got up and rushed to him like she was a teenager. Justin was happy that she was so happy now that she had Carl. She had been happy before but now she had someone to love her and saw her as more than just the mom of the group.

“Hey, honey, what are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy but I thought you were working until the lights come back on.”

“The new chief is worried about overtime; the blackout is causing. Sent the more costly of the department home.”

“Like detectives,” Debbie said nodding.

“Exactly. So, what’s going on here?”

“We’re playing Never Have I; you want to play?” Justin asked, hoping he would. It would be fun to find out more about Debbie’s boyfriend.

“I can’t, I could still get called in.”

“Just use water like Ben, Vic, Debbie and Lindsay,” Daphne said, already getting up to get another shot glass.

“Come on honey, I’m living the college experience,” Debbie said, and Justin could still see the excitement.

“Well, I guess I’ve done worse. Also, you didn’t miss much with college except throwing up in the bushes in front of your dorm and finding out you’re not a smart as you thought you were.”

“Speak for yourself, I loved college,” Brian said with a smirk.

“That’s what happens when you are as smart as you think you are, you get an overinflated ego,” Justin said, earning an ear pull from Brian. There wasn’t that much room, so Justin had been sitting in front of Brian on the floor while Brian was in a chair with Daphne beside Justin. It was the first time Brian had touched him since the game began. He was an idiot because then he leaned back, loving the feel of Brian’s legs surrounding him on both sides.

“It’s your turn Ben,” Micheál said. That was good because the alcohol was getting to Justin, and he had forgotten.

“Never have I ever given a fake name or number to a person hitting on me.”

Justin, Lindsay, Daphne, Emmett and Mel took a shot.

“I’m surprised you haven’t Brian,” Justin’s mom said.

“I just tell them to fuck off.”

There was a round of laughter because most had heard Brian turning down someone like that.

“Oh goody, my turn,” Emmett said, clapping his hands. “Never have I ever kissed or more with a professional actor or actress.

Justin grabbed a drink and drank it.

“Who did you kiss?” his mom asked with real curiosity.

“CONNOR JAMES!” most said, including Debbie. When you have sex with a huge star, you brag.

“And it was more than a kiss,” Ted snarked.

Justin glared at him but then decided to ignore it, Ted was just jealous.

“Never have I ever hitchhiked,” Michael said.

Ted, Jenn, Vic, Mel, Ben, Emmett, Brian, Justin and Carl took a drink.

“Now that doesn’t sound like the good detective that we all know and love,” Brian said.

“I was a teenager once too. My friends left me in Philadelphia after a Dead concert when they met some girls. I had been helping an older woman and her teenage son change their tire.”

“That’s so sweet.” Debbie looked out at the rest of them. “What did I tell you. I got me a good one.”

“Who’s the dead?” Justin asked. He looked at Daphne and she shrugged.

“Brian what the hell have you been teaching that kid?” Debbie asked.

“Do you really want to know?”

Justin’s face heated up knowing what they were thinking? Suddenly arms wrapped around him, and Justin just melted into them. Brian Kinney was one of the most confusing people in the world, sometimes Justin felt like a yo-yo.

“Carl is talking about the Grateful Dead; they were a very popular band that’s fans were mostly potheads. Anything to say detective?” Brian asked, his breath tickling Justin’s ear.

“I plead the fifth.”

“He’s getting more interesting by the minutes, Deb,” Brian told her.

“Ok, my turn,” Lindsay said, she was still smiling. “Never have I ever dined and dashed.”

Justin and Daphne exchanged a guilty look before being the only two that took a drink.

“You have some explaining to do young man,” his mom said looking sternly at them. “You too, Daphne.”

“Yes, do explain,” Debbie said, looking a bit annoyed. Justin wondered how many times that happened to her.

“You tell them Daph, you heard everything,” Justin said.

“It really wasn’t our fault, we had plans to pay but because we were young they thought they could trick us. We were thirteen and my mom had dropped us off at the restaurant, it was after our eighth-grade dance. Our moms gave us both twenty dollars. We ordered burgers and fries and milkshakes. The total was sixteen dollars by our math, the bill was for thirty-eight. Justin just wanted to pay it and leave but I wasn’t about to let them get paid for lying.

I went to argue the bill and I overheard our waiter talking to the hostess. He said that he loved it when kids came in because they usually showed how much they had, and it was easy to convince them the meal was more. He was laughing about the extra money he was getting. I went back to our table and told Justin we were leaving, I told him what was happening, and we ran out of the emergency exit and didn’t stop running until we were a mile away.”

“Alright, that was justified, I would have done the same,” Debbie said. His mom grumbled that they should have at least left how much was really owed.

“I agree with Deb, the asshole deserved it,” Mel said. Carl hadn’t said anything, but he did have a little smile on his face.

“I never have ever hit my boss, no matter how much he deserved it.” Justin knew that Brian was ecstatic not to have a boss anymore. He hated being controlled by someone.

There were laughs and no one drank. Justin thought about just leaving it be but for some reason he didn’t. He took the shot, and he realized that the choice maybe was made by the drink.

Everyone looked at him confused and he could feel Brian tense up. Brian hated not knowing everything that Justin did even though he acts like he doesn’t care.

“Well, I know it wasn’t at the diner. Who’d you hit, Sunshine?” Debbie asked.

“The Sap.”

If Brian was tense before he was absolutely rigid now. For some reason Justin thought that was hilarious and started laughing, no one else was but that didn’t matter. It was so funny.

“How many shots has he had?” his mom asked.

Ben had been the one to volunteer to keep track of how many shots. “Sixteen.”

“Shit Sunshine, you’re cut off, you get water now too,” Debbie said. “We need a count to see who else needs to be cut off. I will not have anyone dying of alcohol poisoning in my house.”

Ben started to read. “Vic had ten but those are all water. Deb, you have had seven, but you said you’re switching to water. Jenn is at seven.”

“I’m going to switch to water too,” his mom said.

“Ted has had eight. Mel has had nine. I’ve had eight but those were water. Emmett has had eight. Michael has had six. Lindsay has had seven but the last one water. Brian has eight. Daphne has nine and Justin has sixteen. Also, Carl has one but of water.”

“Fuck, how does Brian only have eight when Justin has double that?” Mel asked.

Brian didn’t say anything, and Justin wondered if he was mad. But then he spoke, and Justin sobered up a little. “What the fuck happened with the Sap? If you don’t tell me I’ll make Daphne tell me.”

Justin would like to see him try. First Daphne would always keep his secrets.

“I would never tell you, best friends are best for a reason,” Daphne hissed. “I’m also switching to water; I think even with the food the vodka is catching up with me.”

In the end Emmett, Ted, Michael, and Mel switched to water. Brian was the only one taking vodka shots. Everyone that had been drinking still had a good buzz going on, so the game continued.

“If we had power I would make coffee for the shots,” Debbie said.

“Daphne, your turn,” Justin said quietly. He was pissed that everyone else got to decide to stop drinking while he was cut off. He just lived a very rich and exciding life.

“Never have I ever caught my parents having sex.”

Justin was the only one that took a shot. “It was as disturbing as you think it was.”

“Well, sweetheart, I think you’ve paid me back tenfold. You and Brian need to be sprayed by a water hose sometimes.”

People laughed except him and Brian. So, they got caught up in what they were doing sometimes. Not to mention the one time his mom came into the backroom to find him.

“Never have I ever called the wrong name during sex.”

No one had a shot. So, they circled back around, and it was Carl’s first one.

“Never have I ever cheated on a partner.”

Justin knew that Carl wasn’t being cruel, he hadn’t really been there much during that time. And Justin hardly believed he was the kind to listen to gossip.

Ted, Mel, Emmett and Justin took a drink. Nothing was said about any of them. (I’m cutting out Lindsay cheating and the existence of JR because it messes with my wacky timeline already lol.)

“Guess I stepped in it there,” Carl said, a little awkwardly.

“It’s fine,” Brian said, cutting everyone off before they could say anything.

“Never have I ever used a fake ID,” Vic said.

Brian, Michael, Daphne, Ben, Emmett and Mel all took a shot.

“Come on, you have to have used a fake ID,” Ted called Justin out.

“Actually no. The first time I went to Babylon, me and Daph used Debbie and Vic’s membership cards, but they weren’t any kind of identification just saying we had one. It’s not like the bouncer even really looked.”

“Yeah, he was too busy trying to get Justin to meet him in the backroom during his break,” Daphne said with a giggle.

He remembered that night well, he couldn’t care less about the bouncer. That night his eyes and everything else was just for Brian. That was the night he realized that Brian actually did feel something more for him than he pretended. The jealousy was clear for all to see. It wasn’t the first or last that the green-eyed monster got the better of Brian.

“After that someone was always buying me drinks.” He smiled while most glared. He couldn’t help it if men wanted to try and have sex with him. It usually worked too.

“I’m sorry, I can’t stay up any longer. This old man needs his beauty rest,” Vic said.

“You go on to bed, honey,” Deb said to her brother. “In fact, Carl should probably get some sleep if they call him in later. We’re going to bed too. This is a young people’s game anyway. My back is killing me.”

“Want me to rub it,” Carl said, touching Deb gently but with a little hint of lust.

“Please don’t have sex while we’re here,” Michael begged.

“I’ll do what I want in my own fucking house,” Deb said before going upstairs with Carl.

“I Think I’m going to get some sleep, I’m not a teenager anymore,” his mom said.

“Neither is Brian,” Ted said, earning a glare from Brian.

“You can have my old room Jennifer,” Michael said.

His mom smiled at Michael. “Thank you, I was worried where I would have to sleep.”

“It’s no problem, since I’m sober I’ll take those who want to go home. I can take you if you want,” Ben said.

“I would rather stay here. Being alone in my condo while the city is dark is a little scary. Having a cop in the house takes most of the fear away.” She looked at Justin. “If you go home promise me you’ll recheck the locks.”

“I will, mom,” Justin promised.

“I don’t want to go home either. My parents are in LA and my apartment building has some less than gentlemanly men.”

“You can stay with us,” Lindsay said. “We have a comfortable couch, just ask Justin.”

It was a reminder to him of the many times he had to stay with someone else. Daphne. His mom. Mel and Linds. Hell, he had even stayed the night at Ted’s, a time or two.

After his mom went upstairs…a little wobbly if he did say so himself. It was good she was going to sleep.

“Maybe we should call it a night,” Mel said.

“No. How about we drink beer instead,” Justin said. He didn’t know why he wanted to play still.

“Why don’t we play something different?” Emmett asked.

“I know…truth or drink,” Daphne said, clapping her hands.

“Fuck, I’m leaving,” Brian bitched before he stood up, his knees pushing Justin forward.

“Brian, you can’t leave until we do. Ben’s the sober driver,” Michael told him.

“The fuck I can’t.”

Justin stood and turned, looking up into Brian’s eyes. “Please. Just one round, then I’m sure Ben will take us back to the loft.”

“One more fucking round, then I’m leaving with or without you.”

They stopped for another snack break. Even without electricity there was lots to snack on. Justin knew he was still really drunk but being with Brian so long, he could handle it much better than some. Including Mel who had to run to the bathroom already. She had run into the door because the hallway was dark. Brian had a good laugh about it.

As they all got back into place, Justin stopped them. “Actually, I don’t want to play truth or drink just truth. Everyone of us gets to ask one question of each of us and the person has to answer.”

“That’s a lot to ask,” Ben said uncomfortably.

It had to be because Justin knew Brian would choose to drink. It was a huge thing to ask, everyone here was older than him and had way more secrets. He was also risking his own secrets.

“I’ll play,” Brian said, surprising everyone. Justin turned his head and looked at Brian who was sitting behind him.

“You will?”

“Yeah, I have some questions of my own.”

Justin was glad that Brian was only allowed one question for him. But it worried him what question he would ask.

“Who should we start with?” Emmett asked.

“I say we stay like before, oldest first,” Michael added.

“That’s you Teddy,” Emmett said, patting Ted on the back.

“So, I just ask each of you a question? No drinking?”

“Right, just questions,” Daphne said.

Ted looked anxious but he turned to Mel. “Have you ever had group sex?” 

“No one wants to hear about pussies,” Brian said, a look of distain on his face. Justin thought it was hilarious, Brian king of sex was so grossed out if a vagina was involved. It wasn’t something Justin liked but Brian was absolutely horrified by the idea, Lindsay’s must have really traumatized him.

Mel has said she had been in a threesome but no more than that. Next the question was directed at Ben. “When did you realize you were in love with Michael?”

There was an uncomfortable atmosphere in the room. Brian had let it slip one time that Ted had a huge crush on Michael. It was so bad he had a shrine like thing. Apparently no one told Ben because he just smiled. “I think it would have to be when he decided to go up against Debbie to be with me.”

It was funny, Michael, the biggest mama’s boy in the world, standing up to her. Justin gained respect for him at that time.

Ted then turned to Emmett. “What is the most out of character thing you’ve ever done?”

Emmett tilted his head to the right, then to the left and then back to the right. “Oh, I know. I once wore Corduroy; I still have nightmares.”

Everyone laughed, including Justin. Ted then went and turned his head towards Michael. It was weird and he hoped Ted didn’t make it weirder.

“What’s the most embarrassing thing Debbie has done to you?”

The tension broke and Brian started laughing. “Shut the fuck up Brian.”

“What’s he laughing about?” Emmett asked.

“Ok, when I was sixteen Ma pulled me and Brian out of school and took us to the health department. She made us sit in a room while the doctor went over safe sex. That wasn’t that bad until she started asking questions. Brian encouraged her asking his own questions, using me as an example.”

Justin laughed because it was such a Brian and Debbie thing to do. “How was she able to pull Brian out of school?” Justin asked.

“Sunshine, it was the 80’s, hell Freddy Kruger could have pulled any kid out of school.”

Daphne and Justin exchanged a look and laughed.

“Someone hit the children,” Mel said but she was smiling.

“Me. I’m next,” Lindsay said.

“Alright, Lindsay, how was Brian in bed?” There were snickers because Brian was scowling.

“Shouldn’t this be a question for Justin?” she asked.

“We all know what he’ll say. So come on, is Brian talented with women as he is men?”

“I’ll only say this. It’s a good thing he is gay.”

Now there was all out laughing, and Brian looked like his head would explode. “You weren’t complaining then,” he grumbled.

“No, mostly because I was trying not to laugh. You were not good at hiding that you were not into the sex. I felt bad for you.”

“It’s now your turn Brian. Why have you broken all your own rules when it comes to Justin?” Ted asked. Justin held his breath, wanting to know that answer.

“I didn’t break my own rules, I amended them.”

They weren’t getting any more answers to that question from Brian. Justin felt like the sly fox would get out of every personal question like that.

“Daphne, how does it feel to be the token straight person here right now?”

“I love it. I’m going to get so much blackmail material.”

Justin laughed and knocked his knee into hers.

“What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?”

Fuck. This was one of the questions he was worried about. He had two options he could lie or tell the truth. The only reason he wouldn’t lie is because he knew Brian could tell when he was lying. He decided there was only one way to do this. Standing up, he straddled Brian’s lap and looked at him.

“Mel, if I admit to a serious crime, do you have to turn me in?” Never breaking eye contact with Brian. He had been so fucking stupid at the time. But it felt like something he had to do.

Mel sighed. “That’s a hard question to answer. Ethically I would want to follow the law. But no, I’m not compelled by law to turn anyone in.” He wasn’t sure he totally believed her, but she hadn’t lied to him yet. And they broke laws about every day, and she had yet to turn anyone in.

“After Darren got bashed, I joined the Pink Posse.” Brian rolled his eyes. “Cody had a gun and he found where Hobbs was. He pushed me into confronting him. Hobbs still didn’t care about what he did to me. I put a gun in his mouth, made him suck it. Cody was in my ear yelling at me to pull the trigger. I was never going to do it. I just wanted that fucker for once in his life to be scared. To feel like I do almost once every day. Sometimes if someone is walking too close behind me, I freeze up still. I just wanted him to see me as a threat. I did what I came to do and left, Cody still screaming at me to shoot Hobbs.”

The room was so quiet it started making him worried. “Shit Justin, do you realize how fucking stupid that was?” Mel asked.

“I know. I regret it now. I just wanted for once to not be the one afraid.”

Brian was so tense under him Justin flinched; he wasn’t scared of Brian he was worried Brian would end it over this. Brian was looking into his eyes and Justin felt the anger in the older man.

“I didn’t just hear that,” he heard Mel say.

“We’ll talk about this later,” Brian said, moving and making Justin get off his lap. Justin went back to his spot on the floor. He tried not to take it to heart that now Brian wasn’t allowing Justin to lean back on his legs.

The next rounds went way easier. Mel asked everyone a bunch of silly questions about teen years. Ben asked questions about how they felt about important topics in the gay community. Brian’s answer was biting but they expected nothing less. Emmett asked funny questions. Michael asked comic book questions, mostly about what they wanted to see happen in Rage. Lindsay asked very boring and conservative questions. Now Brian was up, and Justin felt a pit in his stomach. He was on Daphne now, the others had questions that embarrassed them or pissed them off.

“What’s the biggest secret that Justin has told you?” Brian asked her. The son-of-a-bitch was using Daphne to get two truths from Justin.

“Uh, I don’t think I should answer. It’s not something for a silly game.”

Brian just glared at her.

“It’s alright, Daph, go ahead.”

“One night Justin called me from a gas station. He begged me to come and get him. When I got there, he wasn’t wearing shoes and he looked high and out of it. I got him in my car and took him back to the loft. On the way he told me what happened. There was a party at his boss’s house when he was working at Babylon. He was only supposed to be decoration. They had other ideas and drugged him. They tried to put him into a sex sling, but he was able to get away before they could hurt him.” Daphne’s eyes were downcast. Justin was looking at her, willing himself not to turn and look at Brian.

“Did he go after you, after that night?” Brian asked.

Justin shook his head. “No, I wasn’t alone in his house anymore. I was never alone at Babylon either. I was either with you or someone else.”

“I pass on my questions,” Daphne said, looking close to tears over her confession. He put his arm around her and hugged her.

“It was bound to come out some time,” he whispered in her ear. She seemed to calm down after that.

“It’s my turn but I only have one question for one person,” Justin said. Turning again towards Brian, he asked the question he wanted to know the answer to most. “When did you fall in love with me?”

Brian opened his mouth but then shut it. The silence stretched on, and Justin started regretting asking the question. Even with Brian being a jerk, he always thought deep down he did love him. It would kill him to find out it was all in his head.

Finally, Brian answered. “I don’t know when, but I know when I realized it.”

“In the hospital?” Michael asked. Brian shook his head no.

“When you got back together this last time?” Ted asked, another shake no from Brian.

“Well, when?” Lindsay asked.

Brian looked at him and Justin realized that he didn’t need to know when. Let Brian keep some things to himself.

“It’s alright, I don’t need to know,” Justin said, getting on his knees and staring at Brian. Brian pulled him forward and gave him a searing kiss. Just as they broke the kiss, the lights came back on.

“I guess I’ll start playing taxi driver,” Ben said.

“We’ll just walk home,” Brian said pulling Justin up.

“It’s nighttime, Brian,” Michael pointed out.

“The loft is only five blocks away, there is no reason for you to drive us. Take Gus and his moms’ home, they need it with all the baby stuff,” Brian said before pulling Justin out the door.

Just as the fresh air hit them Brian turned towards him. “It was the night you left with him.” Justin didn’t need to ask who he meant. “I know I pushed you towards it, but I guess I never thought you would actually leave. When you walked out of Babylon, I felt like I couldn’t breathe, it was almost as bad as the bashing because I was losing you all the same.”

“I’m sorry, shit, I know it’s bullshit, but I have no excuse for it.”

“It doesn’t matter. What does is your ass trying to get yourself in trouble time and time again. I think you learned your lesson about that sick bastard Sap. But I think since you got what you wanted with Kip; you think you did good.”

“I did do good.”

“You really think that?”

Justin was getting angry. “You got to keep your job; I think I did great.”

As they walked they argued, and Justin couldn’t be happier. Maybe the blackout wasn’t that bad. That was until he tripped over his feet and Brian had to practically carry him.

“So much for you being able to handle your alcohol,” Brian said but he was laughing. It was a good night, even if the sun was peeking out.