THE CRUCIBLE

Chapter 4

The Heir Asleep

         For the next three days, Hunter entered into a state of grieving. He begged off work and asked Debbie for the weekend and assured her that he would be ready to resume work on Monday but until then he needed to be left alone. When she agreed, he thanked her, went up to his room and locked the door.

         And then he collapsed on the bed and let the floodgates open. He wept an ocean of tears. He felt crushed flat by the weight of the sorrow. He wept for what he had gained and lost. He remembered J's eyes, his too blue eyes filled with warmth, love and kindness as he lifted him from the gutter. He remembered K's leather and strength and masculine paternal love. He remembered how safe and protected and loved he felt in the crook of his father to be's arm and wept afresh when he knew he'd never feel that arm or that love again.

         He thought of the babies. He cried long and hard over them. He had only had a few visits with them but he had fallen completely and hopelessly in love with them. He had been all ready to go with them, for their sake, to protect them. But then he had looked into the soulless, cruel eyes of his former benefactors and realized that would have been beyond his power. He was only a child himself. And now, they would grow up without him, without knowing any better, growing into selfish snobs themselves, in the image of their false and foolish fathers. And he wept afresh.

         He lay on his bed and closed his eyes and in his mind's eye he transported himself one last time to the meadow by the river. He wept for that and said good-bye to it. In his mind, he imagined a brilliant orange sunset and then darkness falling over it until it was gone...forever.

         He cried all that night and cried himself to sleep. He awoke weeping and wept most of Saturday as well only he allowed his rage and hate to emerge as well. He thought of J's too blue eyes shining with love and then turn cold and cruel, and he seethed with the betrayal. Why had they picked him out of the alley in the first place? If they had just been slumming, what had that made him? A dumpster dive? Rage overcame him and he was glad Debbie had gone to the diner to work so he could fill the house with murderous, animalistic, incoherent roars of rage with no-one there to hear.

         At last, he had no more tears to shed. He lay on his bed again and slept like someone dead.

         He fasted and drank nothing but water. He emerged only to go to the washroom and then locked himself back up into isolation again.

         On Sunday, he awoke and was silent. His tears were over. The deed was done and he had no more to shed. He spent that day thinking about what came next. He had spent the last month dreaming and preparing himself for a wonderful future. He was going to be the beloved son of two strong and wise, albeit unconventional parents. He was to love them back. He was safe. He was protected. He was to be comfortably rich, to never be in want again. To never be hungry again. To never scrape and struggle, steal or con, hustle or whore again. He would have gone to school and made them proud with his grades. He was to never have to work again, not really, to work to keep active but not because he had to, or else starve.

         He got up and thought of this as he relieved himself, washed and then locked himself back in his room. He dressed simply and continued to think.  He lay on his bed. That was to be his future. But now, the rug had been yanked out from under him. He was no-one's son. He was not loved. He did not love. He was not safe He was not protected. He had no home. He had no rest. He had no future. 

         His eyes rolled up back into his head. For a disturbing moment, only the whites of his eyes showed. Then his eyelids fluttered and they closed.

         No-one's son. No home. No love. No meadow. No hope. No past. No future. The future was as dark as the space behind his eyelids.

         He lay there all day, eyes closed, but he was not asleep. But he was not awake either. He felt his mind separate, the way it had done when he was with a trick but this time there was nothing to watch. There was nothing to see. There was nothing to hear. There was no past. He had no future. He was no-one's son. He was no one. He was nothing. There was nothing.

         Deeper and deeper into this twilight death, Hunter fell. He lay on his bed, as still as death, eyes closed, breathing deep and even.

         Nothing. Nobody. Nowhere. No time. Nothing. Nobody, Nowhere. No time.

         His breathing grew longer and shallower as his functions slowed down more and more. Soon it seemed as if he was hardly breathing.

         Nothing. Nobody. Nothing. Nobody... Nothing.....Nothing........... Nothing............. Nothing..........

         And in this state he meditated. He thought. He planned. He re-invented. He was nobody and everyone. He was nothing and everything. He was nowhere and everywhere.

         Nothing....Nothing...Nothing...Nothing....

         A peaceful smile curved his lips as he sunk deeper and deeper into his sleeping death.

* * * * * *

         That night, Debbie closed up early and shoved everybody out and gave away lemon bars to placate the stragglers. She rushed home, still very worried about her young tenant.

         And so, when she came into the house to an eerie stillness, she was very worried. At least before she could hear him crying quietly or pacing or shifting around on his bed and otherwise there were signs of life. Now there was nothing. She thought maybe he had gone out for a walk. She went upstairs but was further alarmed when she found the door locked. It only locked from the inside so he was still in there!

         "Hunter!? Hunter!? Are you there, honey? You don't have to come out but just answer me OK?"

         There was nothing.

         "Oh SHIT!" she whispered. What had those two assholes done? He rushed downstairs to contact Carl.

         "Hunter! HUNTER!! Answer me boy!" Carl yelled, banging on the door. "It's Carl! If you hear me, answer me!   There was no response.

Carl looked at Debbie and at her assent, rammed his heavy shoulder into the door until something splintered and shattered. The door flew open.

         Hunter lay on his bed on his back in sweet repose. The window was open and the breeze fluttered the curtains softly. His hands were folded together on his stomach and his long hair feathered out around him. A small smile curved his lips; like he knew a secret that no one else knew. He didn't appear to be breathing.

         "Oh Dammit, NO! He didn't! He wouldn't! Would he?" cried Debbie.

         "We'll soon find out!" said Carl.

         He checked for injuries. There were none. He checked his pulse. It was faint but steady. His airway was clear and they both sighed in relief when he finally took a breath.

         "Hunter!! HUNTER!! Wake up! WAKE UP!" Carl yelled, shaking him by the shoulders.

         Hunter's eyes opened suddenly. They both recoiled in horror and Debbie let out a little scream.

         Hunter's eyes were still rolled up in the back of his head. Only the whites of his eyes showed.

         Slowly, one of his hands came up and placed a finger over his mouth and nose in a shhhh!...gesture.

         "Shhhhhhhh......" he whispered in eerie confirmation, "Hunter isn't here right now."

         His hand lowered and relaced itself with its twin. His eyes fluttered closed again and once more he was the picture of a masculine sleeping beauty.

* * * * * * *

         "But what WAS that?" What's wrong with him?"

         "I don't know," answered Carl, "But there doesn't seem to be anything we can do about it except leave him alone and keep him safe."

         It was a few minutes later. Unable to elicit any further response from Hunter, they had left him alone in his strange trance and retreated down to the kitchen.

         "But what if he never wakes up?" Debbie asked.

         "I think a part of him IS awake," replied Carl. "He's trying to deal with the trauma that he was given, figuring out what to do next. Maybe he's just shutting off the pain. Meantime, he did ask you to give him to Monday, right?"

         "Yes, that's true."

         "Well, he hasn't injured himself and his vitals are steady. He's breathing slow but regularly and his airways are clear so I don't thing there was any poison involved. And you said he was fasting?"

         "Yes, I'd leave him a sandwich outside his door at mealtimes but nothing was touched. And as far as I know he stayed holed up in his room."

         "Well, give him till tomorrow morning and if he still doesn't wake we'll call a doctor. Call me again if anything changes."

         "OK. Good night darlin'." Debbie gave him a kiss.

         "G'night sweetheart," Carl left for the guardhouse.

BJHBJHBJHBJHBJHBJHBJH

         Monday morning dawned cool and clear.

         Somewhere, the town clock chimed 6 o'clock. 

         In the town, in a house, in a bedroom, in a bed, Hunter heard the chiming. He groaned. His head thrashed.  His eyes flickered violently.

         On the stroke of 6 his eyes flew open.

* * * * * * *

Fifteen minutes later...

         Debbie got up at 6 as was her custom and washed and dressed hurriedly. She wanted to check on Hunter as soon as possible.

         She stood in the hall at his door for a few moments, gathering her courage. She raised her hand to knock.

         At that moment, the door was yanked open. Both people jumped back away from each other with a yelp.

         "I'm sorry!" Debbie gasped, a hand over her heart. "I was just going to knock!"

         "That's all right! Sorry if I scared you! Guess it was just bad timing." Hunter said.

         Hunter was washed and dressed. His hair was brushed and clipped neatly into a ponytail. His eyes were clear and he smiled happily.

         "Well, that's OK! I'm just glad you're up!"

         "Well, I'm glad you're up too...you! It's a wonderful day!"

         "It is?"

         "Well, sure! It's going to be a bright, sunny day!"

         "Uhh, sure!  How are you honey? Would you like some breakfast?"

         "Why that sounds lovely...uh...ma'am. Thank you."

         "What's with the fuckin' ma'am routine? Makes me sounds so old! Well, older, anyway!" she cackled.

         "Oh well, it just seemed like the polite thing to do," Hunter hedged carefully.

         "Ha! You can be polite to me when I'm dead!" she cackled. "Oh, I'm just so glad you're all right! You really had us scared last night!"

         "Oh, I do hope I haven't caused you any inconvenience!" said Hunter politely.

         Debbie looked at him. "Are you sure you're all right? Why're you talking like that?"

         ‘Like what?" Hunter moved past her and went downstairs looking at everything carefully.  He moved through the living room, into the dining room and around into the kitchen. Debbie turned right at the stairs and went the direct route.

         "Like, so polite and cordial. And why'd you go all the way through the house to get to the kitchen? You know the door was right here."

         Hunter fidgeted uncomfortably. "Well, the thing is...well the fact is ma'am...well, I...May I have some cereal?"

         "Holy shit! Is that the time? There's no time! Look, we'll both eat at the diner, OK!?

         "All riiigght," Hunter said, "A diner. Well that sounds nice. But I insist on going halfways. At least...when I figure out how much money I have."

         "Don't be silly, Honey! It's free for employees, remember?"

         "Ohhhh!!! I work there! And we work together?'

         "Hunter, you've been working there for the past month! What's wrong with you?"

         "Nothing! Nothing! Well, let's go! So, I guess that means I'm renting from you here, huh?" Hunter made for the door.

         "Well, of course you are! Hey don't forget your jacket!"

         Hunter breathed an audible sigh of relief. "Oh thank God!" he murmured under his breath.

         "What was that?"

         "Uhhh, I said, Thank God...for a lovely day!" He looked at the vast array of coats the coat hooks and carefully chose one.

         "Hunter, that's my coat!"

         "Right! And I was just getting it for you... There you are! You know, it's so sunny, I don't really need one today! Let's just go!"

         "Uh huh...."Debbie looked at him strangely and picked the right one and threw it to him. "All right, let's go."

         "OK."  Hunter followed her to the car and got into the front seat.

         Debbie looked at him with his super straight posture and wide, bright smile. She thought back to last night. "Hunter isn't here right now..." and shuddered. " Say Honey, why don't you drive today?" she asked.

          Hunter gulped visibly. "Are you sure?" he asked.

         "Yep. Just slide on over."

         "Oh uh, all right." He slid over reluctantly.

         Debbie got into the front seat. She watched shrewdly as he checked all the dials and gauges over very carefully twice and then adjusted and re-adjusted the mirrors. Then he put both hands on the wheel and sat there as if willing the car to start.

         "Hunter, you can't drive." Debbie said softly.

         Hunter took a deep breath. "No ma'am! No I cannot!" His body sagged in relief.

         "And that's why you keep calling me ma'am. And went the long way into the kitchen! You didn't know where it was! And why you didn't pick out the right jacket! You're experiencing some sort of memory loss!"

         "Yes ma'am, it's true! I woke up this morning in a strange place in a strange world. I don't know you. I was...I was hoping to play it cool until I could escape. I'm sorry, I don't mean to hurt your feelings! Were we friends?"
         Yes, we were...are. My name's Debbie and you live as my tenant. We work together at the Liberty Diner."

         "I see, I see. And...who am I?"

BJHBJHBJHBJHBJHBJHBJH

            Hunter sat meekly in the front seat. After they had switched places, the woman with the red hair had gotten this grim look on her face. She pulled out and zoomed down the road.  And a little while after that, she had zoomed out of town.

         "This seems like a strange place for a diner," Hunter said, as he looked at the fields and farmlands whizzing by.

         "We're not going to the Diner," Debbie ground out.

         "Am I fired?" he asked meekly.

         "No honey. Now look, I'm probably going to seem very scary in the next little while but all you have to remember is...I'm not mad at you! OK?"

         "OK, Debbie. But if we're not going to the Diner, where are we going?"
         "I'm going to crown me a couple of Queens!" she growled, shaking a balled up fist.

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         And she wasn't kidding!

         She drove down to the seashore where a simply enormous castle loomed. The stones were white and the towers were red and there were jewels and turrets galore. There were guards aplenty, many of them muscular, burly men. But all of them seemed to know Debbie or at least her fist as she shook it repeatedly yelling and demanding to see the "Queer Kings"...whatever that meant. She howled and screamed epithets many of which involved red hot butt plugs or her fist up their ass. They waved her on through the checkpoints in amusement.

         Finally she drove through a final portcullis and into a courtyard and parked. She got out and motioned Hunter out of the car. She hustled him along to the enormous double door and slammed them open like she lived there.

         A few guards in red and gold uniforms ran up but she just said...no, yelled, "I am a close, personal friend of the Queer Kings and I will personally have your GUTS for my GARTERS if you do not show me where they are RIGHT NOW!!!"

         "Oh, hi, Deb!" said the guard on the left, "Sure, go on in. They're in the breakfast room. Through that door, down the hall, four doors down on the right." He pointed.

         Hunter was astonished. Did everybody know this woman?

         "Say Deb, you bring any lemon bars this time?" the guard asked.

         "No! And unless your bosses shape up and fly right, maybe never again!" she threatened, eliciting gasps of horror from the guards.

         They went through the appointed door, down the hall and through the fourth door on the right. She threw it open and barged through like an avenging angel.

         It was a fairly small room for the castle but for Hunter it still pretty big. It was about as big as Debbie's whole living room. There was purple carpet on the floor, the wallpaper was white with gold sprigs all over it and there was a large picture window that looked over the sea. In the middle of the room was a large table filled with breakfast foods that could have seated 6 but was seating two. There were two men seated at the table. They looked rich and elegant but they looked deep into each other's eyes and wore sappy smiles of pure happiness. They wore matching golden jackets with poofy sleeves and crowns on their heads.

         When Debbie slammed into the room they were sipping mimosas and looking deep into each other's eyes. They clinked their glasses and sipped.

         "Welcome Debbie. We've been expecting you," said the brown haired man.

         Debbie was taken aback. "Since when?"

         "Since we heard you screaming at the first checkpoint," he returned curling his lips in amusement.

         "Brian, really," said the younger, blond man, "You are, of course, welc..."

         "CUT THE CRAP!! SHUT THE HELL UP!! YOU TWO HAVE REALLY SCREWED UP!! DO YOU GUYS EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!!!? DO YOU EVEN CARE!?" Debbie yelled louder than Hunter thought was possible. He was a little scared and backed away. But he remembered what she had said and so mostly watched with a kind of horrified fascination.

         The two men snapped to attention and then cowered under her wrath. She strode over and boxed both their ears with her fists. Then she cuffed them both on the back of their heads. Hunter sat cross legged and watched as she screamed her head off about how their little stunt had broken his heart and sent him into a mourning period. He wondered what she was talking about.

         "Deb, you know we came back the next day to explain things. But he was already mourning until today so we were coming to see him right after breakfast." the blond one said.

         "It's too late for that!" she finally toned down but still was extremely angry. He passed away into some sort of weird trance last night and when he woke up, he had a complete memory wipe! He has total amnesia! You wanted to test him!? Well, you tested him! And he failed! He tried to warn you but you didn't listen!"

         "But he didn't fail! He was loyal to his principals, to himself and to his friends. He rejected the trappings of wealth. He won!" said the blond one proudly.

         "But at what cost!" Debbie yelled, "You fool! He's suffered a complete mental breakdown because of the grief and trauma you put him through! And I helped you! It makes me sick! Now you listen to me you FISHY FAGS! You wanted a son! Well, you got one! You broke him, you bought him! And you better fix him, or so help me...Neptune..." her voice dripped with scorn, "I am going to have Carl throw you in a vat of water and I'll fillet and fry you up myself and serve you for the day's pink plate special!"

         She cuffed them both again and then approached Hunter. He stood up.

         She pressed him into a big squooshy hug and then forced him to look into her eyes.

         "Hunter honey, I know you don't know what I'm talking about, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry about the part I played in their stunt. I didn't know it was going to be so severe. I know you don't remember but when you do, just remember, I'm sorry. Now, I'm leaving you here with these two and hopefully (FOR THEM!) they'll help you get your memory back."

         And before he could protest properly, she was out of the room. He ran after her but by the time he got to the hall she was through the door to the great hall. And he knew by the time he could run down the hall to there, she'd be away in her car. With little other choice, he returned to the breakfast room and faced the two men in the golden jackets.

         They sat there rebuked but their eyes were kind. They had small, sorry, watery smiles on their faces. Hunter looked back at them unsure what to do next.

         There was a moment of silence.

         "BOY OH BOY!! Was she ever mad at you! What did you do anyway?" Hunter asked, "And who are you? That lady said my name is Hunter. So I guess you can call me that."

         "Oh dear!" said the blond one.

         "We are the Kings of this land. You ought to feel very honoured..."

         "Yes, your majesty, I'm sure I am. I didn't know." Hunter gave a shallow bow.

         "You should feel honoured," the brown haired man, "Because you met the only woman in the realm who could get way with doing what she did without punishment. Debbie is very special to us and everybody who knows her."

         "I'm beginning to see that," said Hunter.

         "I am King Brian," said the brown haired one, "and this is King Justin. Now Justin, don't fuss," he added, accurately reading that Justin was going to fuss. "The tests are done and he doesn't remember anything anyway. I kept asking to take the twat home," he reminded/bragged.

         "Who did you want to take home?" asked Hunter curiously, "And where are the Queens? Do they dine in another room?"

         "What are you talking about?" asked King Brian.

         "On the way here, Debbie said she was going to crown two Queens. Where are they?" Hunter asked innocently.

         Justin choked on his mimosa.

         "Hunter...that would be us. Justin and I...we're a couple...a homosexual couple. We're the Queens she was talking about. And she clocked us pretty good too!"

         Hunter giggled. "She sure did. What's homosexual?"

         "Oh...boy!! Why don't we save that one for later? Are you hungry, Hunter?"

         At the mere mention of food, Hunter's stomach growled and made a number of other interesting noises. "I sure am. I was going to have cereal and then we were going to have stuff at the diner and then she brought me here instead. So I really haven't had anything yet. I'm hungry as a horse."

         They had the decency to look chastened and guilty. They knew through Debbie and Carl that he had been fasting for 3 days.

         "Come and eat with us, Hunter. Please help yourself to anything you wish," said Justin.

         "Oh boy! Really? Thanks King Justin!"

         "Don't mention it!" choked Justin as he shed a tear for his forgetful son.

         But Hunter didn't notice. He sat down at an extra seat and found an extra plate and chose a ham and cheese omelet, a bran muffin, a banana, a bunch of grapes, some sausages, and a white roll, and poured a glass of orange juice

         "Uhh, Hunter, be careful," said Justin, "You're eyes might be bigger than your stomach."

         "Oh, don't worry, your majesty! I like to eat!"

         "Boy, you can say that again," murmured Brian.

         "What was that?"

         "Oh, nothing. Now Hunter you asked who it was who we wanted to take home. Well, that person...was you."

         Hunter nearly choked on a piece of omelet. He laughed loudly. "Me!? That's silly! I'm...well...I'm nobody!"

         "Not to us, you're not! We only made you think that way. And for that we are truly sorry!"

         Hunter just looked back at them in puzzlement. He couldn't figure these guys out. What a coupla crazy guys! He continued eating. Man was he hungry! He picked up the white roll.

          I would rather eat stale bread that resemble stones before I partake of one morsel of your snobby fine meats!!!

         The statement screamed across his brain as clearly as if an imp had shrieked it into his ear.

         Hunter cocked an ear. "Did you guys hear that?"

         "Hear what, Hunter?" Brian asked.

         "It was like I heard someone yelling about stale bread...and stones. Never mind. It must have been my imagination."

         But the Queer Kings recognized what it was and looked at each other in agony for what they had done. Hunter went to eat the roll again.

         STALE BREAD! FINE MEATS! STALE BREAD! FINE MEATS! STALE BREAD! FINE MEATS! STALE BREAD! FINE MEATS!

         Hunter recoiled and dropped the roll. "You know, I'm sorry, I don't remember anything but I think I might not like white bread. Something's wrong," he covered. "I'll just have a bran muffin instead." He tried one cautiously. Yes, that was all right.

         Hunter continued to tuck in. He found Justin was right but he was able to eat most of the omelet, the banana, some of the grapes, and drank half his orange juice. At one point he speared a sausage but: FINE MEATS! FINE MEATS! SNOBBY FINE MEATS! > but then looked at it sadly and put it down again. After that the sausages went ignored too.

         The two men watched him tuck in with his usual diligence the way they always did, with a kind of fascination and thinly disguised adoration.

         At last, Hunter sat back and patted his stomach. "Whew! I guess that's it! I guess you were right, Your Majesty!"

         Justin looked pained. "Hunter, you don't have to call me that all the time. Please, you can call me Justin from now on and call Brian by his name as well."

         "Very well, Your Maj...uh...Justin," Hunter replied shyly. Although, I don't understand what I have done to earn such favor. I mean, I haven't done anything. I'm just a nobody."

         "That is not true. Everyone is someone. And that includes you. And you have indeed earned our great favor."

         "I can't see how. I haven't done anything. I'm just nobody from no-where."

         Brian's forehead was shiny with sweat and he looked pale and haggard. "STOP SAYING THAT! You're Everything!" he yelled.

         The effect on Hunter was electric. He jumped up and grabbed his butter knife. In a flash he was behind his chair.

         "DO YOUR WORST! YOU'LL NEVER DESTROY ME!" he yelled back. His eyes were glazed and unfocused.

         He stayed like that for several seconds, breathing hard. Then the butter knife dropped out of his hand. His eyes came back into focus.

         "What am I doing behind the chair? What happened?" he asked.

         "You're starting to remember," answered Justin. He stood up and held out his hand. "Are you ready to start your journey to remember the rest and reclaim your past?"

         "I don't understand. I have no past," said Hunter.

         "Then we'll have to change that. Come with me."

         "OK, where are we going?" Hunter put his smaller hand into Justin's. "Are you coming Brian?"

         "I'll catch up. Where are you going, Sunshine?"

         "I thought I'd show Hunter our son's room."

         "OH BOY! That sounds fancy! Who's your son?"

         "Our son  is...a little lost right now. But he's coming home soon."

         "Can I meet him?"

         "Yes, Hunter. You will meet him." They went out.

         Brian was able to wait until he was alone before he did something he only did in private. He wept.

BJHBJHBJHBJHBJHBJHBJH

         Justin took Hunter up to the fourth floor. They were faced with four hallways, each leading off to a different compass point. At the beginning of each hall there were three small wooden bars affixed to the wall and resting on each bar was a large spool of string.

         Justin chose the hall to the right of the stairs and took up one of the spools of thread. It had a handle and it unrolled as they walked. Hunter saw that the end of the string was tied to the bar.

         "What's that for?" Hunter asked.

         "Well, Hunter, the castle is very complicated, even mazelike. We put these spools here to guide ourselves along so we can find our way back to the stairs. Most of the important rooms are fairly close to the stairs and safety but to find your way deeper into the castle, you must always have one of these spools with you. Promise me solemnly, that you will never forget to take a spool if you go exploring. Always take a string."

         "I promise. But don't worry. This is just a visit, right? Besides, I feel safe with you, Justin."

         "I am glad to hear that, my s...Hunter."

         They stopped very shortly along, only 4 doors down the hall. "Now this room is easy to remember. First hall to the right of the stairs and four doors down on the left. You can remember that, can't you Hunter. I know you're a smart boy."

         "Yes, I'll remember."

         "Good boy. Here we are." He opened the door.

         "Wow! This room is fantastic!"

         Inside was a large apartment, all with hardwood flooring. In essence it was like Brian's loft downstairs only a little less ostentatious. The living room area had a leather couch and a low, long coffee table but there were also a few colourful beanbag chairs as well. There were books and puzzles geared toward teens, a music collection and a player and a large video screen. To the left was a kitchenette and there was a sink and a fridge.  At the left were double doors halfway open.

         Hunter stood just inside the door, dying to see more but suddenly shy. "Are you sure it's OK to go in? I mean, will your son mind?"

         "No, Hunter, he won't mind. He's a very kind and unselfish boy. In fact, he's a better man than I gave him credit for."

         "Wow, sounds like he's pretty cool!" Hunter went and looked and all the toys and music but he tired of that quickly since he was unable to recognize  any artist. So finally, Hunter jumped forward and ran toward the double doors.  He looked inside.

         "Oh wow, this is great! Wow, this is so cool!"

         Inside was a typical bedroom, drawers, huge wardrobe, stuffed, and a queen sized bed with gold colored sheets. But all around them, on all the walls a meadow was painted. It was continuous and as realistically painted as possible. Along one wall a sun dappled river flowed.  Bright wildflowers, all kinds, were painted everywhere, mixed in with the long, green grasses. The meadow went on and on as far as the eye could see creating a 3 D effect until it hit a blue sky with puffy white clouds throughout. The ceiling was also all sky.

         Hunter found the door to the bathroom, looked it briefly and then returned to the bedroom where he continued to marvel at the walls. He revolved twice and had to sit on the bed for a moment. "Oh wow! I feel like I'm really outside! I feel like I'm really there! Oh, I wish there really was a place like this! Oh, I'd live there forever!" He looked over at Justin. "Who did this?"

         "I did."

         Hunter goggled. "You did!? Wow Justin! This is - this is just fantastic!"

         "Thank you, Hunter. It was to be a great surprise."

         "I bet it was! I bet...I bet....I...I...."

         Hunter trailed off as he slowly approached the wall with the river on it. He stroked the river lovingly. Suddenly his mind was filled with an image of a real river, a real, swiftly flowing river dappled by the sun and a wave of peace and contentment, such as he had never known flowed through him.

         "This river...is real! I have been here before...I have..."

         Hunter tried to remember more, see the image of the river more clearly but as he did, the feelings of peace and contentment were overwhelmed by a feeling of dread. A fear of death, a feeling like a stalking killer was right behind him filled him with such certainty that he spun around with a cry of fear. His memory went dark and a veil was pulled over the river scene. Before he knew it, he was at the door, was out the door, back into the living room. Justin raced after him and caught him as he was about to flee the room.

         "Hunter NO! You  mustn't run the halls without me! Remember your promise! Remember!"

         "NOOOO!! I have to get out! I have to get away! It's after me! I have to...I have to..." Hunter stopped struggling and then flung himself into Justin's arms, weeping bitterly. He couldn't stop shaking. "Oh God, what was that! There was something there! Something horrible! I can't go back in there!"

         "There is nothing there but the four walls, my son," Justin allowed himself to speak the words that he had denied himself so far, "It was a memory. A memory you are fighting to keep hidden from yourself."

         "Yes...Yes, I think you are right. Then that river...the river is real!"

         "Yes." Justin confirmed.

         "And the meadow is real?"

         "Yes," said Justin.

         "I liked it there." A statement of fact.

         "Yes."

         "But something went wrong. Something went horribly wrong! What went wrong?" Hunter cried.

         "I did," Justin said softly, in great sorrow. Tears ran down his young face.

BJHJHJHBJHBJHBJHBJHBJHBJH

         "I don't understand," said Hunter, "What did you do? Why are you crying, King Justin?"

         "Because, I did this to you! I pushed you too hard! Oh, I shouldn't have pushed you at all! I'm so sorry Hunter!" And Hunter found himself crushed against a soft golden jacket by a man who wasn't much older than himself but who talked and acted like someone far above his years.

         And that's when Brian walked in. He had washed his face and shed his gold jacket to reveal the conservative but casual brown suit with black tie he had been wearing underneath.

         "Is he better?" he asked hopefully

         "No," said Justin, "Not yet. I showed him his room and another memory tried to break through. But the memory blocks he's erected are too strong."

         "I thought that was your son's room," Hunter said cluelessly.

         "Hunter, it's about time we spoke plainly to you. Would you come sit down?

         "Can I sit with you, King Justin?" Hunter wouldn't let go of Justin's arm as they walked to the leather sofa.

         "We'll all sit together...all right?" Justin said.

         "Weeelll....OK. But you sit in the middle. He's scary..." he whispered, not quite conspiratorially to Justin. 

         "Was that because I yelled downstairs?" Brian asked, making Hunter jump. He hid behind Justin. He nodded shyly.

         "I'm sorry Hunter. I don't mean...I didn't mean to yell back there. I wasn't going to....would never hurt you. Please believe me."

         Hunter nodded shyly but he still made sure Justin was between them on the couch. He snuggled into Justin's poofy arm.

         "Mmmmmm, I love your jacket Justin. It's so soft...Mmmmm....makes me feel safe."

         "Feeling safe is important to you, isn't it Hunter?"

         "Well, I don't know if it's important exactly. But it feels awfully nice."

         "Well, Hunter, if you let us, we'll make sure you feel safe and protected for as long as you live."

         "Oh, well I don't want to overstay my welcome. I'm just a guest. You should tell your son that..." he yawned, "When he comes home." He snuggled deeper into the jacket.

         Brian looked agonized again. At last he could stand it no longer, "Hunter, YOU are our son! You are the one we want to come stay with us! WE want to protect and love YOU!"

         "But why on earth?" Hunter gasped, "I mean, I don't even know you! I'm just a nobody! I'm just common!"

         Brian just put his head in his hands in sorrow.

         "What's with him?" he asked Justin, jerking a thumb at Brian.

         "He is grieved because you have unwittingly used his words against him. Hunter, it is true. We have spent the last month getting to know you and testing you to groom you to become our adopted son. But the last test was too...severe. I see that now. It led you into great grief and you wiped your memory clean somehow to block it out. But we love YOU. This is your room. I painted that mural in your room...for you...because you had told me one time it was your favourite place with us. We used to picnic there."

         "But you said your son was lost!" cried Hunter.

         "You are lost. You are lost within your memories and your mind. But once you return to your senses, you will come home to us and we will love you for all time. Hunter, think. Why do you think Debbie brought you here of all places. Why do you think the river became real to you. It's because it IS real. It was real and a safe place, just like the crook of my arm is now."

         "Is this true? How can this be true? I don't remember any picnic and I don't know why Debbie brought me here! I was thinking it was because you were the wisest, most powerful people she knew of! Maybe she just wanted to dump me. Maybe she didn't want someone disabled working for her." He sniffled. "I guess I'm fired."

         "No, Hunter, you will not be fired. And trust me, I know from personal experience, Debbie loves you more than anything and being disabled would only make her more fiercely protective of you."

         "Really?" Hunter said unsurely, his eyes watery. He snuggled into the poofiness some more and stroked the softness unconsciously.

         Justin looked at him, amused. "Hunter, would you like to try on my coat?"

         "Oh, I couldn't!  Could I? Oh, I've been dying to feel what it would feel like! But just to borrow, I promise! Just for a minute!"

         "Of course, my son. As long as you want."

         Justin took it off and Hunter put it on. He stood up and twirled and then strutted up an imaginary runway. " How...do I look?" he asked pouting like a diva.

         The men loved it and clapped and whistled. "Magnifico!" cried Brian.

         "Man, it's heavy," Hunter huffed.

         "It's 20% gold. It better be," said Brian.

         "And the buttons! Hunter looked, really looked for the first time, "Holy - I mean my golly! Are these things real?" he gasped.

         "They certainly are!" said Justin.

         "Wow! You guys really are kings! You sure are loaded!"

         The fact is we are quite rich..... Now J, be honest! We're spectacularly rich! Practically royalty!

         "OOOOWWWW!!! My head!" Hunter stumbled as if he had been hit in the head and fierce pain flashed through it. Suddenly he was filled with those feelings of dread again as well as terrible feelings of revulsion and hate. "Uhhh, NO! I changed my mind! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!" He ripped off the jacket and threw it away from him like it was a disease. He wept bitterly.

         And best of all.....best of all.....best of all....Soon, you'll be just...like...us!

         "NO! NO!" he screamed again as the voices pummelled his head. He felt nauseous. "NO! Never! I'll never be like you! Never! Never!"

         And Justin and Brian heard him and were transported back with him to that evening and they were cut to the heart.

         Suddenly Brian was on his feet. He grabbed Justin by the arms and shook him.

         "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU were the one who wanted those stupid tests! I just wanted him! I JUST WANTED HIM! WHY? WHY?"

         "STOP YELLING AT HIM!! DON'T YOU TOUCH  HIM!" Hunter leaped between them and pushed Brian away, chopping down at his wrists and making him let go. He bared his teeth. "DO YOUR WORST!!" he snarled in a feral voice, "I WON'T LET YOU DESTROY US!" he screamed.

         Brian ignored him. "Look at him! He's going out of his mind! And it's all your fault Justin! Why? Why did you insist on those stupid tests!?"

         "I HAD TO! I HAD TO MAKE SURE!"

         "Make sure of what?"

         To make sure he could handle being Prince...All this! To handle from going to rags to riches! To know if he would be kind or cruel and handle the power! You said it yourself! You said he reminded you of Michael! Is that what you really want! DID YOU REALLY WANT ANOTHER MICHAEL!!!?"

         There was dead silence.

         Brian sat back down heavily on the couch. Hunter had backed away from Justin and slid to the floor. He looked up at the both of them in fear. Justin was on his feet breathing heavily.

         "Oh, My God! Is that what you think? Is that what started this whole thing?"

         "I guess so! I didn't really know until right now but I guess so."

         "First of all, I said he reminded me of Michael before he started to take the road down his evil ways. Before! And second of all, he's NOT Michael! He's just a boy! He's just a boy and we made him love us! And then you took it all away! Is it any reason he's like this!? YOU DID THIS! Now you FIX it! NOW! I cannot stand it! Use that power, that mojo you have, do whatever it takes! But FIX HIM!"

         "I'll try. But I don't think he'd let me. He's too full of pain and my light is too pure."

         "Please stop," Hunter said in agony, "I'm sorry. Please don't fight on my account." He started to rock on the floor with his knees tucked to his chest, "I'm not worth it. I'm a nothing. I'll be a good boy! I'm sorry! I'm a nothing. I'll be a good boy! I'm nothing. Nothing! Nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing......." He began to whisper this over and over like a mantra.

         "Shhhhhhh.....Hunter, no one's fighting on your account! You've done NOTHING wrong! Do you hear me? Nothing!

         "Nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing..."

         "No Hunter! You did nothing wrong! Nothing wrong! And it's OK now! The argument's over. It's over!"

         Slowly, Hunter stopped rocking. "Over? It's over?"

         "Yes, sweetheart. And it wasn't your fault. Do you hear me? It wasn't your fault."

         "Not...my...fault?" It finally started to penetrate.

         Yes, sweetheart, yes. Shhhhh now....that's it..." Justin slowly enfolded him and hugged him for a few minutes. "Sometimes we won't agree. But it's never your fault."

         "Really?"

         "No. Never. Now Hunter, I want you to try and remain calm. You see, I want to try something to help make you well. I have...a sort of gift. A power."

         "A power? I don't understand."

         "I know, my son. But I want you to trust me. Will you trust me?"

         "All right."

         "All right then. Just sit there and relax. I'll keep it low. Just relax and look into my eyes."

         Hunter obeyed. Justin put his hand gently on the top of his head with his thumb touching the center of his forehead. Ever so slightly his hair began to glow and his eyes glowed gold.

         Hunter tried to look but it was no use. Within a few seconds, he felt as if he were looking into twin suns.

         "AHHHHHHHH!!!! NO! What are you doing? Stop!!! Stop!!!" It's like looking into the sun! I can't bear it! I can't bear it!" And Hunter pulled away and shuffled away and hid his face.

         Justin immediately turned off. "It is as I thought. I can do nothing substantial when he is like this."

         "Then what are we to do?"

          It's OK. Those few seconds were enough. You see, that's not really Hunter at all!"

         "What!!?"

         "Yes, For those few seconds, I saw inside of him. Hunter, the real Hunter, is still asleep. Deep inside himself somewhere, he's still asleep. He's erected this...replacement in order to function. But it's just a facsimile. That's why he doesn't remember anything and keeps saying he's nothing. This...replacement, this projection...really is nothing. And it won't let any of the memories through. It's protecting him from the pain."

         "But he is remembering!"

         "Yes. The sleeping part of him is remembering and every time he sees a trigger it lets one through and that triggers the projection to block it and protect him."

         "But what are we to do?"

         But before Justin could say anything, Hunter answered the question for them. He let out another heart-rending yell:

         "NOOOOOO!!! Your eyes! Your eyes! What happened to your eyes!?"

         "Hunter! Try to calm down! You see? The light is gone!"

         "Not that! Your eyes! Both of you!!  You're so cold! So heartless! Where are my Dads who loved me! Who are you!? Who are you, monsters!?"

         And then a myriad of images and memories seemed to assault him all at once:

         I would rather eat stale bread that resemble stones before I partake of one morsel of your snobby fine meats!!!

         The fact is we are quite rich..... Now J, be honest! We're spectacularly rich! Practically royalty!

         "Haven't you ever heard of slumming?"

         "This place is common ground now. Common....Common...Common...."

         "Because if it is we can always buy 6 or 8 people out of their houses, raze them to the ground.... raze them to the ground raze them to the ground ..."

         "Don't you DARE! Leave those people alone! Don't you DARE raze ANYBODY'S house!! My God! How could I have been so wrong! How could I love anyone so cruel!? That cruelty that's shining like ice out of your eyes!" How could I - I- AAAAHHHCCG..."

         In reality, his fathers' eyes shone nothing but regret and pain and heartbreak. But Hunter was transported back into time and saw only the hard eyes they had shown during the final test. All he saw were monsters. And then he felt a crushing weight, a final intense emotion of sorrow, the sorrow he had felt as he washed dishes in the back after giving up everything. The wave of sorrow loomed, culminated and crashed down upon him with a frightening intensity, so much so, that he blacked out.

         Hunter tried to flee, but seized up in his tracks. His throat seized. He fell back but Brian was already moving and he caught him.

         Hunter's eyes rolled back into his head. His seized, once, twice, three times more, spasmed and then went completely limp. His eyes fluttered shut and he was still.

TBC