Credence
Chapter Five: “Weighing the Risks”
"Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare."- Dale Carnegie
July
“Thanks.” Brian grabbed the folder containing the projected profit from the signed contract with ‘Pittsburgh Glass Works’.
For the second time in as many minutes, Ted wondered what had happened to Brian Kinney. “Uh…sure, Bri. If you want any suggestions on good investments for your take-home let me know.”
Brian nodded. “Will do, Theodore, now run along. I’m going to lunch.”
Ted left Brian’s office and quickly walked back to his desk. Once there, he flipped open his cell phone and dialed Michael.
“Hey, Ted.”
“Something is seriously amiss with Brian,” Ted whispered.
“What? I can hardly hear you.”
Ted glanced around and spotted Brian heading out Exhibition’s doors. He breathed a sigh of relief and spoke in a normal pitch. “It’s Brian. He’s… something is wrong with him.”
“I talked to him five minutes ago,” Michael said, “he’s bringing me lunch.”
“Well he’s not fine.”
“You’re going to have to tell me why you think he isn’t fine,” Michael replied worriedly.
“He’s been a raving asshole all week.”
Michael laughed. “Yeah, that’s cause for worry.”
“It’s been worse than normal. He’s biting the heads off everyone in the art department. No one can produce anything he wants and yet he isn’t explaining to them what he wants. But today it all just stopped.”
“You know how Brian is,” Michael defended, “things have to be his way or no way. It’s why he’s so successful.”
“If it were just the normal bitching it wouldn’t even faze me, but it’s not. It’s so much worse than usual and then today he just… he stopped.”
“Stopped?”
“Brian has stopped bitching completely. He’s been in a great mood all morning, even after his assistant spilled coffee on his suit during a proposal with a client. He calmly wiped it off and accepted Lyle’s apology and hasn’t brought it up since. He’s been saying please and thank you to everyone. Even to me.”
“Shit.”
“That’s not the only reason I’m worried. After the meeting with Frederick Glass, he completely dismissed him. The man is gorgeous and was obviously making a play for Brian but he acted as though he didn’t notice him and believe me, the guy was not subtle.”
“Something really is wrong with him,” Michael agreed.
“Do you think it’s the cancer again?”
“What? Why? Does he look sick?”
“I don’t think so. He’s been staying late every night this week so I doubt he’d be able to do that if he were. But maybe he is and just hasn’t started radiation again.”
“I think Brian would tell me if it came back.”
“Maybe he just found out and isn’t ready to tell anyone yet. It would make sense, wouldn’t it? That’s why he’s been an even bigger dick at the office.”
“Well that would explain him not going after that Frederick guy.”
“I can’t think of anything else to explain it. I doubt he and Justin are monogamous.”
“Justin.” Michael softly laughed. “That’s what’s wrong.”
“Justin?”
“He’s staying late at the office, isn’t tricking with a gorgeous guy and… now that I think about it, he hasn’t been at the diner any time I have while Justin is working. In fact, when he called to ask if I had plans for lunch, I suggested the diner because I figured we could meet up with Justin once he got off work at noon, but he said he wanted to pick up something and come to the shop instead. I haven’t seen them together all fucking week, not that I’ve seen much of Brian, but I figured it was because he was with Justin but if he was at work late…”
“Well whatever it is, you’ve got to do something. The staff is relieved with Brian’s sudden mood change, but I don’t know if they’ll be able to handle him going off the rocker Monday.”
“No, we don’t have that issue in stock but I can order it for you.”
“I take it Brian just walked in?”
“Right. I understand,” Michael went on in a cheery voice.
“Call me and tell me what you find out. Hopefully, you’re right and it’s only ‘boyfriend’ troubles.”
“Most likely,” Michael replied. “Bye.”
***
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Michael asked as he hung up the phone.
Brian placed the paper bag filled with Chinese food on the counter top. “Hello to you too, Mikey.”
“What’s going on with you and Justin?”
Brian rolled his eyes and groaned, “Don’t tell me he’s come to you to get me back.”
“I wasn’t aware he ever ‘officially’ had you,” Michael snapped back his reply. “But no one ever can have you, right? No more than once.”
Brian’s delirious good mood disappeared immediately. “What the fuck?”
“So you took him out on all those dates, you wooed him just so you could fuck him and move on? I thought he was more than just a conquest, Brian. I thought you two were friends.”
“Where the fuck are you getting this from?” Brian asked, growing more annoyed by each word that came out of Michael’s mouth.
“Don’t worry, Justin hasn’t said anything. In fact, any time I’ve seen him and asked about you, he had nothing but good things to say about you.”
Brian placed his hands on the counter top separating him and Michael and leaned over so their faces were only an inch apart. “What does that tell you, Mikey?”
“That he’s embarrassed and covering your asses.”
Brian huffed a breathy growl and backed away. “You’re fucking clueless.”
“Then enlighten me,” Michael said, wondering if maybe he had gotten it all wrong. He looked around the shop. “No one’s here but you and me, so tell me, what the fuck happened between you and Justin?”
“Fucking Justin! Everything is about Justin!” Brian yelled.
Michael had to try very hard to keep himself from smiling. “So, you can’t get him out of your head now that he’s out of your bed?”
“He’s never even been in my fucking bed!” Brian grunted.
“So is that why you broke up?”
“Fuck! We didn’t break up. I took him out to eat a few times, we hung out, we weren’t boyfriends, we couldn’t break up. Christ, you’re a drama queen.”
“So what? He didn’t want to fuck after a couple weeks of you hanging out and you dropped him?”
“Why is it always my fault?” Brian asked in a near whisper. “Why do you think it’s me?”
“Because…” Michael saw Brian’s mask slip for a moment and he saw despair in Brian’s eyes and his heart dropped into his stomach. “It was him?”
“Not exactly.” Brian walked behind the counter and took a seat on the stool. He’d been thinking about Justin and what he’d confessed to him almost non-stop. However, he wasn’t sure if he should reveal it all to Michael; it wasn’t exactly his story to tell.
“What is it? Tell me. I’m sorry for accusing you…”
“Sorry’s bullshit.”
“Whatever. It’s not, not when it comes from your best friend.” Michael smiled down at Brian hopefully. “Tell me what happened. I know you really liked Justin or you wouldn’t have ever ‘hung out’ with him, you wouldn’t have come and got me the day his building collapsed, so that he wouldn’t be alone. You wouldn’t have set him up in the swanky hotel and bought him…”
“He can’t have sex,” Brian said, interrupting his friend. He waited for Michael’s open mouth to close before he continued. “Not until he gets married.”
Michael snorted. “You’re shitting me, right?”
Brian slowly shook his head. “Afraid not.”
“What the fuck do you mean he can’t have sex until he’s married? He’s got some fucking unbreakable moral code or some shit?”
“No. He’s got some moral code for his life. He… look, I don’t want you to run off blabbing this shit to anyone. He doesn’t… he shouldn’t have to deal with everyone behaving differently with him, because they will if they know. It’s hard enough for him.”
“What?” Michael asked, confused. “I won’t say anything to any of the guys or my mom, just tell me.”
Brian took a deep breath and looked away from Michael’s stare as he revealed, “Justin is allergic to every kind of condom in existence.”
“Holy shit!” Michael gasped, falling back into the stool behind him. “You’re serious?”
“Completely. And that's as far as I'm discussing this with you.” Brian grabbed the food bag and started taking items out. “Let’s eat.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“So, you're totally in love with Brian,” Trent assessed.
Justin cupped his hands together and splashed a huge wave of water into Trent's face. “I said I didn't want to talk about him anymore.”
Daphne swam up behind Justin and attempted to dunk him but Justin evaded her. “You can't just tell us this big huge story and then expect us not to ask you questions.” She turned to look at Trent and pointedly said, “Of course he's in love with him.”
“I like him, that's all.”
“But you told him, so that can't be all,” Daphne said, playfully pushing Justin.
“What do you want me to tell you? I've talked enough about Brian. He said he'd call. He hasn't called. I'm not going to sit around and pine after him, awaiting the day that my telephone rings. The odds that Brian Kinney is going to give up fucking for me are slim to none.”
“Say what you will,” Trent said. “But while we were eating lunch, on Brian's expense account might I add, you checked your phone like a dozen times.”
“I did not!” Justin gasped.
“You so did,” Daphne laughed out.
“Like every five minutes,” Trent said. “Seriously.”
“Oh god,” Justin groaned, knowing he couldn't deny it.
“You know what I think?” Trent asked.
“I don't want to know,” Justin said. Swimming over to the ledge of the pool, he hoisted himself out.
“I do, I want to know,” Daphne replied, teasingly, following Justin out.
“All right,” Trent got out of the pool and looked around to make sure none of the other swimmers were close to them. “So, I think you shouldn't sit around and wait for him to call. I think you should go after him.”
Justin threw his wet towel at Trent. “Yeah, right. He's been avoiding the diner and me since I told him. I'm not going to throw myself at him. He's not likely to want to be with me in any capacity so give me one good reason why I should stalk him?”
“Because, like you said, you can't sit around pining after him,” Daphne said.
“Yeah, and I'm not,” Justin protested. “I was checking my voice mail because I'm waiting to hear from Lindsay about the gallery job.”
“Lie to yourself all you want,” Daphne said. “But Sweetie, you can't lie to us.”
“Whatever.” Justin slipped on his sandals. “You ready to go back?”
“I'm ready for you to do as you promised and get us each a massage,” Trent said.
“Only if you promise to stop talking about Brian,” Justin bargained.
“We will,” Daphne agreed, glancing at Trent.
“Yeah, as long as you agree to my plan,” Trent said.
“What fucking plan?” Daphne and Justin asked in unison.
Trent ran his fingers down the center of his chest and stopped at the waistband of his swim trunks. “Make Brian jealous with this.”
“With you?” Justin asked. “Why would he be jealous of you?”
“Because, we'll make him think we're together,” Trent clarified.
“And you can show Brian what he's missing. He's met Trent before, right?” Daphne asked.
“Yeah, briefly,” Justin answered.
“You told me that Brian was totally jealous of me; that he thought we were fucking,” Trent added.
“Or something like that,” Justin said. “But I pretty much told him we weren't.”
“Yeah, well I think he'd believe that I want you, and that's enough to make him jealous. Make him think that maybe it isn't so hard for you to find a man that would want to be with you only. If he saw us together...”
“I'm not going to manipulate Brian. If he doesn't want me, then I'm going to move on.”
“But you should at least try,” Daphne said. “Just see if he gets jealous, maybe that will make things clearer for him.”
“Come with me to Babylon tonight,” Trent suggested. “We'll dance and grind and drive Brian mad with lust. He'll be calling you before the week is out.”
Justin shrugged his shoulders. “Fine, but I don't think it'll do any good and I don't want to go tonight. It hasn't been that long since he said he'd call.”
“Then next weekend,” Trent said. “We'll have something to celebrate anyway, right?”
“What?” Daphne asked, clueless.
“Melanie said the settlement money should be deposited by next Wednesday,” Justin explained.
“So soon?” Daphne asked. “I thought that crap could go on for months or years even.”
“Melanie and her team of bulldog lawyers reached a settlement with the tenants and the complex owner. The insurance settlement is a separate lawsuit, that one will probably take longer but the owner wanted to settle quickly. He's in the process of building a huge apartment complex downtown and he doesn't want any bad press affecting the project, so he was willing to settle for an undisclosed amount as long as all of the tenants agree not to talk to the press.”
“Oh shit!” Daphne gasped. “Well you'd better disclose it to me. How much are you guys getting?”
Trent grinned and whispered the sum into Daphne's ear.
“Holy shit!” she yelled, her words echoing loudly around the pool room.
“Shh,” Justin giggled, grabbing Daphne's arm. “Come on, before you get me kicked out of this hotel.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“So what did you have to say about it?” Ben asked. He'd come to visit Michael after his last lecture and found him a total mess about Brian.
“He didn't want to talk about it and frankly, I didn't either. I mean, what the fuck was I going to say? I couldn't encourage him to just give everything up and have unsafe sex with a kid he just met.”
“He and Justin didn't just meet and Justin isn't exactly a kid. You were all for Brian and Justin dating...”
“Yeah, but they're not going to be dating. They're going to have sex, raw sex.”
“Under the circumstances, don't you think that's what 'safe sex' is?” Ben asked.
“But Brian... he's never going to do that. He's not just going to stop fucking everything that moves to possibly get into Justin's pants. I mean, that's not what it'll be. Justin won't have sex until he gets married. He wants to be sure the man he 'gives himself to' is going to be the only man he's with for the rest of his life and I doubt that will be Brian.”
“So, you don't think Brian can do it. That's why you're upset?”
“I'm upset because I thought that Justin might be the one for Brian, but now, Brian's never going to give him a chance to be more than just friends. He won't trust himself enough to do it and he's not going to jump through hoops to get laid.”
“Maybe not to get laid,” Ben agreed, “but maybe to be with the person he loves.”
“I don't think that Brian thinks Justin is worth taking that chance,” Michael said softly. “Or maybe, he doesn't think he's worth Justin taking the chance.”
“It's overwhelming,” Ben said. “You've got to break it down for him. Make it look less scary. Maybe then he'll take a chance.”
“Wise Professor, please tell me, how do I do that?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Justin, I thought Brian was coming with you?” Jennifer asked, looking behind Justin where he stood on the condo's steps.
Justin had forgotten that tonight's invitation to dinner included Brian. “Oh, I forgot.”
“Well call him,” Jennifer suggested, leading Justin into the house.
Justin took a deep breath and told his mother, “I can't.”
“Why not?” Jennifer motioned for Justin to follow her into the living room. “Did you two break up?”
“We were not together, Mom. We were friends.” Justin plopped down onto the couch and looked up at his mother who had her hands on her hips and was staring down at him with a sour expression. “What?”
“Don't lie to your mother, dear, it isn't nice.”
“Maybe we were,” Justin said, exasperated, “but we're not now.”
“So you broke up?” Jennifer pressed, sitting beside Justin. “What happened?”
“I told him about my allergy,” Justin confessed. “I told him why I'm still a virgin and why I will remain one until I meet and marry the right man.”
“And Brian freaked?” Jennifer asked, she'd figured that he would when he found out.
“Yeah. It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be, but it wasn't good either. I haven't seen him since I told him. He said he'd call me but he hasn't.”
“Maybe he just needs some time to take it all in?” Jennifer suggested.
“Daphne and Trent want me to try to make him jealous. They think I should show him what he'd be missing but honestly....” he trailed off and wiped his hands over his face. “Honestly mom, I don't want to know that I'm not worth it to him. I'd rather not know. I'd rather just sit around hoping that one day he'll call and tell me I am. How pathetic am I?”
Jennifer wrapped her arm around Justin's shoulders and kissed the side of his head. “You're not pathetic. Life just isn't easy for you, honey. I wish it was and I wish I knew exactly what to tell you. I would like to think this is a good idea but it’s never good to manipulate anyone. However, I have also seen you two together and I do think there is something there so maybe Brian does need that push. Maybe just this once it’s okay and your friends are right. Make him jealous; show him what he's missing, even though I think he may already know, it might be easier on you to just go for it.”
“You really think I should?” Justin asked.
“If he’s who you want,” Jen stated, squeezing Justin close. “Now you tell Brian the next time you see him that I don't appreciate him not calling and canceling tonight. I made his steak just the way he likes it.”
“Maybe you can wrap it up and I'll drop it by the loft on my way home. He'll probably be at Woody's or Babylon by then.”
“So you're going to avoid him?” Jennifer asked.
“For now. I told Daphne and Trent that I'd give Brian until next weekend to call. If he hasn't by then, then I will go with their plan, I have no idea what else to do.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brian looked around Red Cape Comics and then at Michael. “We alone?” he asked.
Michael placed the day’s earnings in the safe and popped up from behind the counter. “Yeah, can you turn the sign to closed and lock the door?”
Brian did as asked, grabbed the joint he'd rolled out of his cigarette pack and hefted himself onto the counter.
“Brian, I think that maybe Justin’s as scared as you are by his little revelation.”
“What ?” Brian lit the joint and took a deep hit.
“Well… I know that men seem to fall at your feet begging you to fuck them but Justin isn’t going to do that. You need to get that through your head. No matter what you do, he’s not going to fall for your charms, abandon all conscious thought and let you fuck him.”
Brian sucked almost half of the joint down and allowed the pot to calm him. “It isn’t me, Mikey. I’m not… I didn’t… I know he’s not going to abandon shit and I’m not going to ask him to. He wants to be fucked, believe me, and no matter what you may think I know that he wants it to be me that fucks him.”
“This is an instance where you arrogance fucks up your life and any chance you might have at…”
“At what?” Brian asked, but didn’t wait for Michael to answer. “There’s nothing he can do about this. He won’t ever be fucking me and he won’t be fucking anyone else until he finds himself some nice little boy to settle down with and I may be arrogant but I’m not stupid. I’m not a little boy who wants to play house for the rest of my fucking life.”
Michael felt stunned by Brian's tirade and it took him a full minute to process everything he'd said. “A nice little boy? You really think with his attitude that he's going to find a nice little boy?”
“Or whatever the fuck.” Brian shrugged his shoulders and took another drag. “How the fuck he’s going to find any gay man that will love him enough to go without sex and pledge monogamy on the off chance that they’ll hit it off and get married is beyond me.”
“That’s fucking horrible for him that he has to deal with this shit,” Michael groaned. “But… you know, you are right, in a way.”
“Jesus, Michael, I figured you’d at least be positive about this, maybe even be a little encouraging for Justin’s sake,” Brian laughed and handed Michael the joint. “After all, you know all about being a stepford fag.”
Michael jumped up onto the counter beside Brian and replied, “Yeah well I think that maybe this shit with Justin is beyond you.”
“You’re a big help.” Brian yanked the joint away from Michael's lips before he could even get a full hit.
“This isn't beyond you, it stops with you. I think that you are probably the man who Justin needs. You should put some of your arrogance into something worthwhile.”
“You make no sense at all.” One minute Michael was behind him, backing him on how wrong he and Justin would be together and the next, he was making Brian Justin’s Mr. Right. “That’s not going to happen. That isn't and can't be me. There’s nothing I can do to make any of it worthwhile… whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean.”
“Why not? You like him, don’t you?”
Brian nodded and rolled his eyes while blowing his smoke into Michael's face.
Michael waved the smoke away and grabbed for the joint. “You dated him, you really actually dated him.”
“I did not.”
“Yes you did.”
“We went out together...”
“On dates,” Michael nudged Brian's shoulder with his own. “Stop acting like what you two were doing wasn't dating. This is me, your best friend, you can't lie to me. Admit that you took him out on dates.”
Brian was feeling buzzed, blissfully buzzed and because of this he was much more open-minded than he was when sober. He hadn't even really been that forceful with his denial and wasn't really in the mood to deny what he and Michael knew was in fact the truth. “All right, whatever.”
Michael took that answer as an admission and continued, “So if you dated him, that means you think you two might have a future. You still think it, you're still imagining a future with him or we wouldn't even be having this conversation.”
“Yeah, well, whatever I'm thinking about us, thought about us, had nothing do with the little white picket fence life that Justin needs.”
“That’s not what he needs. He needs someone he can trust, someone to love him.”
“Someone who will be monogamous,” Brian added. “Only one of those is me.”
“You're falling in love with him?” Michael didn't mean it as a question, it was more of a statement, but for Brian's benefit he worded it as one.
“He can trust me,” Brian said, sticking his tongue out.
Michael took the joint away from Brian. “You've had too much of that.”
Brian grabbed it back and growled, “Or not enough,” he spoke, taking another long toke of the joint.
Michael figured there was nothing left to lose, Brian was in a weird state and he didn't know how else to continue the conversation without getting lost in his bullshit, so he decided he'd just go with the direct approach. “It's already beyond dating. You can tell yourself you don't believe in love, you can say that you haven't known him long enough to be falling for him, but I think you just don't understand that what you feel for him is love.”
“Fuck off,” Brian half-giggled, and hopped down.
“You are falling for him, you're not even denying it,” Michael sing-songed. “You’re falling in love.”
“Fuck off, Mikey. I don’t do…”
“You do love. You totally do love for Justin.”
“Fuck you.”
“You want to be the one for Justin, but you don’t think you can do it. But you know what? I bet you could. And just imagine what it’d be like if you really did fall completely and hopelessly in love with him and could do it raw with him.”
“Jesus!” Brian slumped down to the floor, and put his hands over his face while groaning, “That's never going to happen.”
Michael jumped down and sat beside Brian. “Why? Why won't it happen?” Now he was getting somewhere. Now he could take Ben's advice and give it to Brian.
Brian took his hands away from his face and stared at Michael pointedly. “I can't give him what he needs.”
“Does it have to be all or nothing? Can't you and Justin compromise?”
“Compromise?” Brian shook his head. “On what?”
“Monogamy.”
“How can we compromise on something that isn't even up for negotiation?”
“Look, I know you don't want to be reminded of it, but during the cancer and radiation treatment and recovery, it took you almost seven months before you were able to trick.”
“Good to know you were keeping count,” Brian groused.
“Yeah, well, who wasn't? You heard the rumors.”
Brian remembered all of them. “Yeah, I remember. And I also remember how those rumors stopped.”
“You made it known that you had a hot piece of ass in Maryland that commuted here to fuck your brains out. A guy so hot that it rendered every man in Pittsburgh totally useless.”
“Mmhmm.”
“And then of course you dumped him when he started to get too clingy.”
Brian grabbed a cigarette and lit it. “You got a point, Mikey? I don't have all night.”
“You know what I'm saying. If you lived without fucking for six months, you could do it again. You know you could.”
“Yeah, well,” Brian grabbed his dick. “I don't have to live without it.”
“You're right. You don't have to live without sex. I bet there's a thousand, hell with your experience, there's probably a million ways you and Justin could have sex without penetration.”
“He doesn't want to have any sex until he gets married,” Brian reiterated.
“Is that what he told you?” Michael asked.
Brian thought for a moment. “Not exactly.”
“Well, I think you need to talk to him. You need to figure out if there can be a compromise.”
“There's that word again, Mikey. Only, you don't get it. There can't be one. I'm not going to be monogamous.”
“Why not? Jesus. You know you can do it. Isn't Justin worth it? Being with him feels better than being without him, right?”
“You're such a romantic twat, Mikey. Here you are, pushing me to have something you and Ben never could have. Why?”
“Because I want you to be happy.”
“So what? I just agree to be monogamous?”
“You could have a trial period, just like you did before. Tell him you'll give it six months, six months with only him to see where things go and at the end of the six months...”
“We break up.”
“Or you marry him.”
Brian snorted. “That won't happen.”
“If you're so sure of that, then what's the risk?”
“My dick.”
“If you have Justin taking care of your dick, I don't think it'll be at risk.”
“If Justin agrees to this shit.”
“The only way you'll know is if you talk to him.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“So what have you and Brian been up to lately?” Lindsay asked the question Justin knew she'd been dying to ask since he first walked into her office twenty minutes ago.
“Working,” Justin deadpanned.
Lindsay sighed and relaxed in her chair. Giving Justin a small smile she asked, “What'd he do?”
“Nothing. We're fine.”
“I haven't seen you two together in a while. In fact, when Brian picked Gus up last Saturday, Mel asked about you and he said you had to work. I went to the diner for lunch that day and didn't see you there.”
Justin airily spoke, “He must've got the time I worked mixed up. It’s not like we keep tabs on each other.”
“I didn't mean to upset you,” Lindsay explained in lieu of an apologetic expression.
“You didn't upset me,” Justin replied. “This meeting is business right, not personal?”
Lindsay nodded. “Yes, but...”
“Then can we please keep it to business?” Realizing he was bitchy with his tone, Justin added, “I know you care for Brian and me, but we're still new and I'd like to keep our relationship to ourselves.”
Lindsay nodded. “You're right. There's just something about you, Justin.” She smiled and shook her head a little. “And there's something about you and Brian... it just works.”
Justin ignored his sudden, racing heart and asked, “What do you mean?”
“You and Brian fit. I don't know how to explain it. It's something I never would've imagined, really, because we both know how Brian can be.” Lindsay shrugged. “Nevertheless, he isn't that way with you, is he?”
Justin felt bad that he was sorta, kinda. actually lying about his and Brian's relationship to her and it made him feel horrible to hear her be so supportive about it. He answered honestly, “I'm not sure exactly what you mean by that, but I think you do.”
“He's more mature with you,” Lindsay went on, thinking that Justin really knew exactly what she was saying. “I've known Brian for a long time and there's this role he's developed for himself, sometimes he's playing it and other times he's being played by the creation. The whole 'hat is wearing him' kind of thing.”
Justin nodded, intrigued with Lindsay's assessment of Brian. “Right.” He'd thought the same way about Brian at times but he wasn't sure if he was just being hopeful when believing that Brian really could be more than he portrayed.
“He's stepped outside of that role a lot in the last couple of years, but it shows up every now and then and I'm so used to going along with it that it's easy to forget that, deep down, Brian can be a different person. When I've seen him with you, he is that person.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Justin asked, a little rattled at his friend's words.
“Because I know Brian and I know that there will be a time when he'll do something cruel, something awful to you. You'll think you can't trust him, you'll think he's the biggest asshole in the entire world, but if you want him, you'll have to go after him and not let him get away acting like a total shit.”
Justin felt a little ashamed of himself for being so irritated with Lindsay asking about him and Brian. She seemed to honestly want the best for them and the hope he had that Brian would want him came back full force. He gave the woman a bright smile. “Thank you, Lindsay. Brian's lucky to have you as a friend.”
Lindsay reached across the table and touched Justin's hand. “Whether or not you and Brian work out, we're friends too.”
Justin squeezed her hand. “Thank you, I appreciate that.”
Lindsay reached for the papers Justin had brought her and cleared her throat. “I'm going to take these and go over them with Mr. Bloom. That way we can get them filed and your insurance coverage will begin as soon as you start work next month. Why don't you go have a look around the gallery while I do that and I'll come and get you when Mr. Bloom is ready to meet with you.”
“That sounds great,” Justin said. He stood from his chair and gathered his messenger bag. “Thanks again, Lindsay, for everything,” he said, walking out of her office door, feeling lighter and more joyful than he had since he revealed the truth to Brian.
Ten minutes after Justin began touring the gallery he found himself staring at a painting that gave him even more hope in Brian. He had sold the Ugly Naked Guy painting! The piece he'd told Justin that if he ever did sell it, Justin would have to paint him something to replace it. He looked at the date the museum had acquired it and it listed two days ago. Brian sold it, knowing, in all likelihood, that Justin would see it and would have to then make good on his promise.
Justin clutched his hands in anticipation, his eyes closed and with the crashing arrays of emotions inside of him, his creativity bloomed as he imagined the perfect work of art he would create for Brian. Whether or not Brian would ever want to be with him, Justin felt the fire burning within him to give the man a replacement he'd never want to sell.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael handed Justin the check and cash for his and Ben's lunch. “Keep the change,” he told him, turning to go.
“Wait a second,” Justin said, stopping his friend. “You realize that you handed me a fifty and your dinner was like ten bucks, right?”
Ben's eyes widened but he said nothing when he felt Michael discreetly pinching his hip.
“You look like you're tired,” Michael deadpanned, “and the diner hasn't been busy so I thought...”
“You thought?” Justin asked, handing Michael the change. “What?”
Michael sighed, handed Justin a five-dollar bill and pocketed the rest of the money. “I thought you could use the money.”
“I don't need the extra money. I received my settlement a couple days ago.”
“You did?” Ben asked. “Congratulations. That was a pretty fast process, from what I've heard things like that can take years.”
“Justin explained to Ben and Michael the process of his good news. “I’m so relieved.”
“So why are you working here?” Michael asked. He wanted to ask how much Justin received but knew that it wasn't appropriate. He made a mental note to ask Brian about it, that is, if he and Justin did actually get back together, which at this point didn't look like that would happen. Brian had been avoiding his calls since their conversation and he hadn't caught him once at the diner or at Babylon.
“I couldn't just quit on your mom. I start my job at the gallery soon anyway.”
“Well how about getting a drink with us at Woody's after your shift?” Michael asked. He was certain that if he could just get Brian and Justin in the same place, Brian wouldn't be able to resist Justin.
Justin shook his head. “I can't. I'm meeting Trent and Daphne at the hotel for a late dinner but if you're going to Babylon later, I'll probably see you there.”
Michael looked up at Ben with the most pathetic puppy dog expression he could muster. “Babylon, tonight?”
Ben had planned a nice, romantic night alone with Michael but he could see that deteriorating by the second. He could see the wheels turning in Michael's head though and figured that it was for a good cause. “We'll be there,” Ben replied.
The moment they were outside of the diner Ben asked, “What are you planning?”
Michael smiled. “I am going to make sure that Brian is at Babylon tonight.”
“I don't think we should force Justin on him,” Ben said, warily.
“Well, I think he's had too much time to sit around and think about this. He's been avoiding my calls, avoiding all places he might see Justin, he's avoiding making a decision about it and it needs to stop.”
“So if he's avoiding all of that, how are you going to get him to go to Babylon tonight when he wasn't there all last weekend?”
Michael smiled. “I have my ways.” He batted his eyes and changed his voice to a child-like tone, “Brian, we haven't been out together in weeks. Don't tell me you're too old to go dance with your BEST friend on a Friday night.”
Ben laughed, “That's not going to work.”
Michael grabbed Ben's hand and turned them around so they were walking in the direction of the loft. “Oh yeah? Watch me.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two hours and four clothing changes later, Brian was starting the Jeep's engine. From the passenger seat, Michael looked in the back at Ben and gave him a pointed smirk.
“Woody's better not be doing Karaoke this Friday too or I'm leaving you both there,” Brian warned.
Michael innocently asked, “Is that why we didn't catch you there last week?”
Brian rolled his eyes. “Do you never check your voice mail?” Before Michael could answer, he elaborated, “I left you a voice mail telling you that I'd be in LA all week. I take it from the five hundred messages you left me, that you never checked it last Friday?”
Michael felt foolish and laughed dryly. “Guess not.” He smiled as he realized that Brian wasn't avoiding Justin at all and he hadn't really had to pull out the puppy dog eyes to get Brian to go out tonight, he'd easily agreed to go. He hoped this meant that he'd made a decision about what he was going to do about Justin.
TBC in Chapter 6