Brion sat on the gnarled stump of a fallen tree in front of the tent he shared with Justinus. His gaze was held by the man only a few yards away. Nasir sat on the ground in front of his tent... a half-empty tent once shared by two. Brion's heart ached for the dark-skinned young man he was watching so carefully. Nasir had not been the same since Agron left with Crixus more than a fortnight before. Word had begun to reach Spartacus that Crixus and Agron were succeeding in their quest to arrive at Rome by cutting through all forces sent to stop them. At last report, the rebels were only two days march away from the heart of Rome. Only one legion was left to battle before the city would be open to invasion. It was good news, but did little to lighten Nasir's heart. Brion knew that nothing would bring back the joyful Nasir of the past unless Agron returned. As he sat there, Brion again wondered why Agron left the way he did. Brion had thought of little else since joining the ranks of Spartacus in their trek towards the Alps. He was certain that Agron's last words to him held the key to it all. A man's last words usually held meaning.
"You sit heavy in thought. Share burden, that I may lighten your load," Justinus said, as he stepped out of the tent to join Brion on the stump.
Justinus noticed where Brion was staring. Nasir still sat in the same position he'd been in for more than an hour. His head was bent over as he stared at the ground between his legs, as if looking for answers to unspoken questions in the dirt.
"His pain is too deep for comforting words. I've made attempts. You broke words with Agron before he took leave of us. Do you still know nothing of his reasoning for desertion of one whose heart he holds?"
"I've told you all that was spoken. All that was asked of me was that I watch over Nasir as I would my own heart. I gave my word. He then asked that I aid Nasir in opening his heart to another. Look at the man! His heart is torn from chest. It cannot beat for another. In time spent with them, I believed Agron knew the mind of Nasir, yet appears oblivious to damage his choice would wrought. Nasir trusted Agron and..."
Brion paused. An idea, that had not occurred to him before, suddenly began forming in his head.
"Trust!"
"Trust?"
"Yes! Clouds part from memory. Agron spoke of trust... of wanting Nasir to find a heart he can trust fully. When spoken, I did not give weight to manner it was given."
"And now?
"Now, with recall of Agron's voice, I hear urgency given word above all others, as if Nasir does not give such a gift to him."
"That is foolish talk. Nasir trusts Agron above all men."
"Yes, but what if he found cause to think otherwise?" Brion questioned.
Justinus thought hard on what Brion was saying. It didn't take him long to realize where Brion's thoughts had gone.
"Brion, it cannot be where mind is travelling. Nasir and I spoke only once on subject of truth he learned from mouth of Craigh and Cassius. That was long before they parted ways. Agron had no other means of discovering secret held from him."
Brion bent his head and sighed deeply.
"What plagues thoughts now?"
"Think back to the village in the valley where last we all stood as one."
Justinus frowned. He certainly did remember that night, or at least some of it. Much of it was a complete blur, once all the wine he drank fogged his brain. It was the last time he saw his dear friend, Nasir, as a happy man. The next time he faced Nasir, he was a different person. A light had disappeared from his eyes. He still breathed air as any other man, but it seemed to be drawn into lungs painfully, as if he didn't wish to take another breath. Nasir's eyes fell briefly on Justinus, and then he simply walked away. He joined a group of women who were finishing up the job of hoisting food supplies onto one of the wagons. Wordlessly, he began helping them. Moments later, Brion had joined Justinus and revealed the reason behind Nasir's strange behavior. Justinus still found it impossible to believe that Agron had deserted his lover. Neither he nor Brion could understand what had caused the rift. Now he sensed that Brion may have figured out the puzzle. He listened intently.
"On that night, you fell ill from drink. Agron shared cup and memory with brother gladiators, giving reason for Nasir to offer help in removing you from harm's way. If guts were spilled on wrong reveler, the mood might change to one less convivial. We carried you to outer garden near entrance to villa. When stomach was emptied, you fell blessedly into oblivion. I seized opportunity provided to sit with Nasir and offer gratitude for his discretion upon learning our secret. We spoke of it, only briefly yet fully, but I now wonder if we were as alone as thought by us. Searching memory, possibility exists that our words were overheard from villa entryway. It gives meaning to Agron's words. If he found cause to believe that Nasir did not lay full trust in him, he would be wounded as I would if felt same from you."
Justinus realized that Brion was right. They had worried that Agron would be angry at Nasir, and furious at them, if he learned the truth. They had not considered that he might feel something different, especially towards Nasir. It did occur to them that he would feel a sense of betrayal, but not a sense that he himself had failed... that Nasir would keep the secret because he did not trust his lover enough.
"You would leave me if I held secrets from you?" he wondered, not realizing he had spoken out loud.
"No man knows his reaction to deeds not yet lived, Justinus. But yes, I would question whether we belong together. One can only give all your heart to the soul that also holds all your trust. If I am right, I am responsible for this tragic turn of events. It is I who wanted it held back from Agron. It is I who failed to trust enough, not Nasir."
"Your reasons were sound, Brion. Your parting with Agron, genial. Not something possible if he lay blame at your feet. You went to Nasir once Agron left. Did he speak of events of that morning?"
"Only that there was no argument between them. He was as a man struck mortal blow by unseen weapon. Nasir keeps to self since parting. He breathes, he eats, he drinks, he sleeps, he performs necessary tasks, but he does not live. If Agron's goal was to set him free, he has failed. Nasir is more slave now than when collar bound neck. His master is memory of what once was his."
Brion continued to watch Nasir, who finally rose from his position and turned towards his tent. The entire encampment was settling in for the night. Nasir opened the tent-flap and disappeared inside. He had not bothered to look around to catch the eye of any other person, not even his friends who always set their tent as close to him as possible. He knew they were worried about him, but Nasir did not care. He had only one thought on his mind nearly every minute of the day... was Agron still safe? Just as importantly, why did Agron desert him? His mind would never rest until he knew the answer to both questions. Nasir slowly removed his outer clothing and the knife he kept at his waist. If Agron was with him, he would have removed all his clothing. Agron had often remarked on how much he loved his body, so Nasir enjoyed presenting himself to his lover without anything blocking his view. Nasir felt a lump in his throat and the threat of tears as he thought back on how beautiful Agron's body was too. From his short brown hair to his large, wide feet, his lover was all masculine strength. Yet, those muscular arms and legs could hold his smaller body with such care and tenderness, that Nasir always felt safe within them. Nasir fell to his knees on the bed of robes and blankets. Agron had left behind a cloak he wore during their wintry time on the mountain, and Nasir gathered it up into his arms. He shook as he cradled it close to his chest and bent to inhale the scent of Agron that lingered there still. It would be some time later before he wrapped himself in the cloak and laid down to sleep. This was all his life consisted of now... all until Agron came back to him, as he must someday.
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Crixus, Naevia, and all the others that followed them spent their days marching ever closer to the heart of Rome itself. Every small outlying village, whether guarded by soldiers or not, fell before them. They fought like demons unleashed from the bowels of Hell. They gave no quarter to anyone standing in their way. Whole villages were burned to the ground as the rebels kept their eye on the final prize. Agron was the only one who actually didn't care about the capital city of the Roman Empire. His focus was simply on dispatching as many Romans to the afterlife as he could before he himself was cut down. He took to each battlefield with a recklessness that should have cost him his life many times over, but he suffered few injuries, and none of any mention. Yet, each night as he lay his head down to sleep, he was in agonizing pain. His wounds were invisible to the naked eye. His dreams were filled with images of his dark-skinned, long-haired lover, Nasir.
This night was no different from all the others since parting with Nasir. He slept restlessly at best and woke from a fevered dream hours before the others. When he got up to relieve himself, he suddenly felt a shudder run down his spine. It was not the cold night air that caused it. He sensed that the new day would bring something different this time... something unwelcome. And yet, he did not fear it. If the Roman's god, Pluto, wished to drag him to the Afterlife, he would go... but not without taking as many Romans as he could with him. He returned to his bedroll to try and get more sleep. They were now within a single day's march of Rome, and advance scouts reported a gathering of one last legion left to protect the city. The word was that the legion was led by the Praetor, Arrius. His reputation did not create fear in his enemies the way that Pompey or Crassus did. Rear scouts reported no sign of Crassus or his army. Crixus believed that Crassus let his staggering hatred of Spartacus, and desire to personally catch the man, control his decision to follow Spartacus towards the Alps, rather than turning back to Rome to protect the city. It was not a choice he would have made, but he did not think like Crassus. Only Spartacus had been able to do that. Agron agreed with Crixus, which only made him more uncomfortable. If it was true that Crassus followed Spartacus, then it would mean that Nasir was in danger. It was too late now to change his mind. He finally fell asleep again, only to awaken a few hours later, still plagued by an uneasy feeling.
The rebels began their march in the morning with high hopes. Once they reached the ridge, where they intended to take a stand against Arrius and his men, they set about preparing for the force that was approaching from Rome. Scouts returned in the morning with news of the Roman legion already on the march. By the time the soldiers entered the valley below the ridge, the rebels had finished their preparations. Huge boulders wrapped with vines and twine lined the ridge. Once the Roman legion stood vulnerable below them, Crixus gave the command to light the boulders using pitch and fire. They were then rolled down the steep incline, scattering the well-ordered ranks of soldiers in every direction. Boulders were followed by screaming rebels brandishing their weapons. Chaos ruled the day as the rebels slowly turned the tide in their favor through sheer brutality. These soldiers had never fought a more determined enemy, and soon the battlefield was once again choked with the dead and dying... the vast majority of which were the Roman soldiers.
The rebel leaders were soon surrounded by jubilant men and women, reveling in their latest triumph over the enemy. Agron stood surprised at what he was witnessing. He had felt certain that morning that this would be his final day on Earth. For the first time since joining Crixus, he began to feel that the man actually might succeed in his goal of conquering the heart of the Roman Empire. Agron smiled crookedly through the Roman blood dripping from his face. If they did succeed, they could then wipe out the wealth of Crassus and the Senate, leaving the man helpless. Soldiers would desert him with no promise of pay. It would mean saving Spartacus from Crassus's pursuit. More importantly, it would mean that Nasir would be safer. He had already begun questioning his decision to separate from Nasir. It had been more painful than he had imagined. He was haunted by Nasir's face every day since. He wondered if Nasir would forgive him for his foolish pride, because he now recognized that it was only pride that caused him to feel hurt when Nasir did not share Brion and Justinus's secret.
As these thoughts ran through Agron's head, he heard Crixus proudly proclaiming their victory over the last legion left to protect the city of Rome. Everyone around them shouted with unadulterated glee. It was only minutes later, when another sound could be heard over the mass of excited rebels. It came from a different direction than the one the rebels had traveled earlier. All eyes turned towards the odd noise. Gasps of surprise escaped as eyes opened wide at the sight of what had gathered behind them. The ground was thick with several legions of soldiers lined up at attention, waiting for their orders from the man who stood tall in his saddle at the head of his troops. Even from a distance, they recognized the banner of Crassus. The reports they had received from scouts had been deceptive. Crassus had not followed Spartacus as thought, but instead led his men on a different route back to Rome, finally catching up with the rebels just in time to engage them while at their most depleted.
Despite their exhaustion, Crixus was able to rouse his warriors one last time. They prepared themselves to meet their enemy. Agron had one last fleeting image of Nasir that he could not hold back, and then he too rushed forward to meet his hated adversaries. It was a blood bath. The rebels fought valiantly, but even their leaders were drained of energy from the previous battle. Agron, Crixus, Naevia, and all the others no longer had the quick reflexes that had always served them well in confrontations. None went down without a fight. Each of them took two or more soldiers with them before being struck down themselves, but not long after the conflict began, it ended. Crixus and Naevia were both alive, but wounded. Agron had fallen at the hands of Crassus's son, Tiberius. He suffered several wounds, but Caesar recognized his importance and ordered him saved for questioning. He was taken away, out of sight of the last moments that Crixus lived. Crixus's head was removed from his body by a single blow applied by that same youthful boy who had struck down Agron. Naevia was forced to watch as the love of her life was taken from her. There was purpose to this. Crassus ordered Naevia spared in order to send her back to Spartacus, carrying the head of Crixus as a vision of his own intended end, and that of all those who followed him.
Camp was set up not far from the body-strewn battlefield in order for the soldiers to separate the living from the dead. Hundreds had survived, although most carried varying wounds. However, they all knew their remaining time would be short-lived. Caesar was able to identify those worth questioning, such as Agron. They were separated from the others. To the surprise of the Romans, not even torture loosened the tongues of those questioned. Once they became of no use, their suffering was ended. Soon enough it was Agron's turn to be interrogated. He had lost none of his bravado, or courage with his downfall. He jeered at his persecutors, even when struck hard across the face. He simply spit the blood pouring from his cut lip at their feet, smiling crookedly as it landed on their sandals.
It soon became apparent that Agron had nothing to offer his captors. In frustration, Crassus ordered him crucified as a warning to those left as to the result of their stubborn refusal to give up information. Caesar took great delight in helping to carry out the punishment, as he had already had prior conflicts with Agron and still remembered the sting of nearly falling to Agron's skills at Sinuessa. Crassus had no intention of making Agron's death a speedy one. His arms were tied tightly all along the crossbeam of the cross so that his death would be slow in coming. Before lifting him up in place to the single vertical beam, Caesar bent down with spike and hammer in hand. As Agron glared his hatred at the man and threatened to have his head someday, Caesar laughed, reminding him that he would never hold a weapon again. He then proved his words were true by driving the spikes directly into the palms of Agron's hands, creating a blood-curdling scream to fill the night air. Agron was hoisted up and set into position, his legs dangling uselessly only inches from the ground. Only the support of the ties kept Agron from suffocating from the pressure of his hanging. Tears began to roll down Agron's cheeks, leaving a crimson trail as they slowly made their way through the blood still covering his face and down to his chest. Those watching thought he cried in pain. His tears were for his lost love. Through the red haze of agony that clouded his vision, all he could see was the beautiful face of his Nasir. Leaving him was the only regret he had... the only thing he would miss as he drew his last breath.
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Days before Crixus met his expected end, a lucky twist of fate would change everything for Agron. Pompey, one of Rome's most famous Generals, had been recalled from foreign wars specifically to aid Crassus in ending the Servile Rebellion. Pompey had sent out messengers to various parts of the Empire in an attempt to gather information on the progress of the war against the rebels. One small band of messengers were discovered by Spartacus's scouts at night over their campfire. Thinking they were Crassus's men, Spartacus and Gannicus themselves set upon the hapless soldiers. When their insignia was recognized as belonging to Pompey, Spartacus once again thought of a clever plan. It meant sending a couple of his bravest men directly into the lion's den... better known as Crassus's camp... posing as an envoy from Pompey. The hope was to draw Crassus into a trap in the guise of a meeting between the two Generals. This plan would have failed miserably if not for one other twist of fate.
Not long before Crassus and his army set upon Crixus, Tiberius used his authority as the son of the Imperator to settle a debt he felt Caesar owed him... and settle it in the most horrific way one man could do to another. Several of Tiberius's friends held Caesar down across a table while Tiberius raped his hated rival. He knew that Caesar would never dare reveal what had happened in order to keep from losing face with his own men in the future. He guessed correctly, as Caesar said nothing to Crassus or anyone else. But if Tiberius thought Caesar was going to forgive his humiliation, he was dangerously mistaken. When the fake envoy appeared in camp, Caesar recognized the men as being part of Spartacus's followers. He was a man every bit as clever and sly as Crassus and Spartacus. His brain immediately went to work and he saw the chance for revenge against Tiberius. He managed to manipulate the arrogant youth into thinking it would be an honor to take his father's place in a meeting with Pompey, serving as Crassus' voice and will. Crassus was so pleased at his son's desire to show his mettle, that he agreed to the idea. Thus, it was Tiberius who fell into the rebel trap.
Not long after Tiberius fell into the hands of Spartacus, Agron was nailed to the cross. Shortly after that, a true envoy from Pompey arrived at the Roman encampment. It did not take Crassus long to realize his grave mistake in judgement. He lashed out at Caesar for not recognizing the fake envoy, but Caesar reminded the man that there was no way he could know all of the rebels out of the thousands who inhabited Sinuessa. Then he quickly reminded Crassus that they could not be certain that Tiberius was dead. It was suggested that he would more likely be held for ransom. Caesar reminded Crassus that they had something Spartacus would be willing to trade for Tiberius... the lives of the rebel survivors, or at least a portion of them. There was little danger in any of them fighting for their cause anymore, as almost all were in such poor condition from many wounds and ill treatment. Crassus agreed to release five hundred of those who would least likely be able to fight in future. With his hands destroyed, Agron was among the five hundred. Caesar was ordered to broker the deal while Crassus prepared his men to follow and destroy all the rebels once his son was returned to him.
Agron was lowered to the ground and given dirty rags to bind his wounds. With literally no rest, Caesar led the rebels away from the Roman encampment with his men guarding them all the way. Few guards were needed, as none of those freed had any fight left in them, including Agron. Blood was not the only thing that flowed from his body when the nails tore into his flesh. His spirit had drained from him too. The only thing that kept his feet moving along the dusty road towards Spartacus, step by painful step, was the image of Nasir. If he survived the trek back to the rebel camp, he would see his heart beat again, if Nasir would forgive him his foolish pride. And if he did, Agron vowed that he would never let anything part them again.
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While the five hundred prisoners slowly made their way back to rejoin their former companions, led by a nervous Caesar, Spartacus was deciding on how to handle the Romans they had captured. Naevia immediately recognized Tiberius as the one who severed Crixus's head. Her fury was monumental, and all she wanted was to repay the boy in kind. Spartacus saw a golden opportunity to unite his people in a way that would strengthen their common bond even further, as well as bring satisfaction to those who had lost loved ones and friends to Crassus. He proposed they throw their own gladiator games with his former brother gladiators pitted against the soldiers. He extended a special offer to two who had lost most dearly, although they had never fought in the arena. He knew that Naevia and Nasir were capable of handling themselves and were in desperate need of a catharsis to the unbearable pain they felt over losing their lovers. Nasir had become the angry young man that Agron had once been, losing his temper easily at the slightest thing since Naevia returned with news of Agron's 'death'. Spartacus heard many complaints from trainees as to Nasir's uncompromising attitude towards their slightest mistakes, as well as serious concerns voiced by his closest friends, Brion and Justinus. There was no question that Nasir needed to honor his fallen lover in a way that Agron would be most proud of.
The games were hastily arranged, with a makeshift arena set up among the rocks. The soldiers were held prisoner in a natural cave set in the side of the mountain. Each soldier was given a fair chance to survive, although none had the honed skills of a gladiator. One by one, the soldiers were polished off, some quickly while others were not so lucky. Tiberius was saved for last. He would face Naevia. Brion and Justinus looked on anxiously as Nasir stood ready for his soldier. They knew what a skillful fighter he was, but they held concern for the way his behavior had been since learning of Agron's fate. They need not have worried. Nasir used all the skills that Agron and Spartacus had taught him to play with the unfortunate soldier who faced him before sending him to the afterlife too. It was finally Naevia's turn. The formerly timid body slave acquitted herself admirably, suffering a few small injuries against the trained youth but getting the upper hand throughout most of the battle.
All eyes were on Naevia during the fight, so no one noticed that Spartacus and Gannicus were called away by one of their scouts in the midst of it. They had a message from a lone man who had entered the camp bearing the white flag of truce. It was Caesar, who made his offer of exchange for Tiberius's life. Gannicus did not trust Caesar's word, being certain of a trap, but Spartacus knew he had to take the chance offered. If he could return five hundred of his people to the arms of their loved ones, it was not something he could afford to pass up. He hurried back to the games and arrived just in time to see Naevia best Tiberius, her sword ready to do to him what had been done to Crixus. Spartacus knew he had to tread carefully. The crowd cried out for Tiberius's blood, and Naevia was in a fever to deliver it. Spartacus did the only thing he could. He gave her the choice of whether to end Tiberius's life and forfeit the lives of their people or not. Her heart longed to slice the boy's neck, but in the end she could not sacrifice so many others to satisfy her need for revenge. She turned Tiberius over to Spartacus. The howls of disapproval only ended when Spartacus announced the reason why she had spared his life.
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Nasir returned to his tent. His heart still lay heavy in his chest. He could not resent those who were being returned to the fold, but it did not bring Agron back to him. He had thought that killing the Roman soldier would bring him a measure of comfort, and it did briefly, but seeing the things Agron had left behind in the tent only sharpened his loss more bitterly than before. He now knew that nothing would fill the void left by Agron. He no longer felt angry at Agron, as he once had for a brief time after he left. Brion came to him and explained his theory of the reason behind Agron leaving the way he did. Rather than making things easier for Nasir to deal with, he now only blamed himself for losing Agron. He should have had more faith in the man he'd given his heart to. If he had trusted him more fully, none of this would have happened. It made his loss more grievous, and he would not allow anything to assuage his guilt. Even attempts by Brion and Justinus to comfort him failed miserably. Shortly before the exchange was to be made, his friends appeared at Nasir's tent.
"Will you join us to welcome the return of our people? Perhaps some carry word of Agron to lighten heart, if only a little," Justinus offered.
"I will remain here. Agron's spirit fills this tent as no other spot among us. None returning can speak more clearly than what I hold here," Nasir declared, lifting up Agron's cloak and clutching it to his chest.
"It tears heart to see you so shackled by memories that bring such pain, but respect your choice. If mind changes, all will welcome your presence."
Brion reached for Justinus to pull him away. It was clear that Nasir needed to be alone. The couple left Nasir, and hurried to the center of the encampment where so many others had gathered to await the return of their fallen heroes. Each person prayed that someone they cared for would be among those approaching. Spartacus had taken a number of his strongest men with him to meet on neutral ground to make the exchange. There had been a momentary scare when one of the former slaves, who had been badly mistreated by Tiberius in the same way Caesar was, rushed from the crowd and stuck a knife blade deep into his guts. It was thought that the trade would not happen, but that same woman agreed to take the place of Tiberius. Being that she was Crassus's former lover, Caesar felt safe in accepting her as an equal trade, along with returning the body of Tiberius to his father. Now it was only a matter of patience while the crowd waited for sight of the returning captives.
It seemed forever before they saw the mass of shuffling, slow-moving ex-prisoners on the horizon. Little by little, they trickled into the center of the encampment. Shouts of joy and relief were heard as faces, often covered in dirt, dried blood, cuts, and bruises, became recognizable. Friends and families rushed forward to gather loved ones in their arms. An occasional wail was heard as stories of the loss of others were told by survivors, broken by the memories, to those who waited in vain. Brion and Justinus stood apart from the throng. They had only come to see if there was anyone who could use their help. They had not formed any close bonds with followers of Crixus, outside of Agron. They were surprised when Nasir suddenly appeared beside them, along with Naevia. She had visited his tent after Brion and Justinus left and convinced Nasir that it was their duty to be there to welcome back those who had felt enough faith in Crixus and Agron to follow them into battle. The two lost souls watched with mixed feelings. Nasir spoke for them both as they eyed the mass of people.
"Would that those we held to heart stood among them," he all but cried.
It was at that moment when the wave of people parted just long enough for Brion to see something totally unexpected. He pointed out what had caught his attention to Justinus. A look of shock and awe crossed their faces. Brion leaned in closer to Nasir.
"Nasir!" he said quietly, yet firmly.
Nasir turned to look at Brion and saw that he was not looking back at him, but instead... staring directly into the crowd, as was Justinus. Nasir turned back to see what had captured their gaze. It took less than a heartbeat for Nasir to recognize the battered face of his beloved Agron, leaning heavily on Spartacus for support as he made his way into camp with his eyes to the ground. Nasir's breath caught in his throat. He could barely breathe, but it did not stop him from moving forward with haste, desperate to reach the vision in front of him before it disappeared like a dream upon awakening. He reached the two men within seconds, although it seemed forever. He stopped their progress, although Agron had not yet lifted his eyes. Nasir reached up and laid his hand gently upon Agron's filthy cheek. He had never felt anything more comforting. His touch at last brought Agron's green eyes up to lock on his brown ones. Nasir stroked Agron's face as if he was a tender babe in need of a gentle touch. Their eyes remained locked in an embrace.
"The gods return you to my arms," Nasir choked out.
"I was fool to ever leave them," Agron admitted.
Nasir gave Agron's face one last caress and then took Spartacus's place, gladly shouldering the weight of his lover as they walked away. Justinus started to move towards them, wanting to help support Agron, but Brion held him back.
"He will send for us when time is right. Now is time for proof that they yet live as one, and for that they need no witnesses. Let us return to our tent and praise the Fates that returned our friend to us."
Justinus agreed. Brion was a man of great wisdom. Agron still lived. That was all they needed to know for now. There would be time enough to later gauge his feelings over events since they had entered the man's life. The consequences over their choices had nearly cost Agron his life and Nasir his happiness. If their friendships were to continue in the future, it would be up to Agron. The only thing that was certain for now was that his heart still beat for only one man... Nasir!
To be continued.................