Chapter 1: The Rabbit is Dead
BRIAN IS PREGNANT
by: BiggestBJFanEVER
“Brian your pregnant” The doctor said.
Brain looked like he was getting ready to faint, then a huge smile spread across his face. “OMG, I’m gonna half to tell Justin hell be so happy!!!!”
[writers comment: I know guys can’t get pregnant but we can just pretend ok?]
Brian returns to the loft and runs to the bathroom and throws up.
“Hey!” Justin siad, coming in behind him. “What’s the matter with you? too much beam last night?”
“No baby,” Brian answered, “I have to tell you, I just came from the doctors and we’re gonna have a baby!”
“OMG!” Justin screams, and he dropped to the floor they were so happy!!!
Brian is NOT the Woman:
By Jane
“Brian,” the doctor said. "Look, we haven’t figured out quite yet why this is happening, but apparently there have been recent developments in the evolution of human beings that have led to the spontaneous creation of fetuses from two Y chromosomes. This seems to have started in New York and San Francisco but we’re seeing it other places. I’ve been following it in the literature. You’re my first pregnant male, though.”
Brian stared at the doctor blankly for about two seconds. Then: “WHAT!!”
The doctor blinked, but quickly regained his composure. “Yeah… apparently, when two men engage sexually, we’re seeing the spontaneous evolution of what amounts to a link between the urethra and intestinal system, basically creating a womb-like environment, and a spontaneous generation of the host sperm into an ovum-like organ. So… you’re pregnant.”
“Doctor.” Brian took a deep breath. “Are you telling me I’m going to shit a baby in nine months?”
“Oh, closer to seven, I’d say! You’re about eight weeks along. And no, you do not evacuate the baby, we perform a c-section. It's safer, in terms of the obvious bacterial issues.”
Eight weeks, eight weeks… shit. That would be the last time he’d let Justin top. But…
“But we use condoms!”
“They’re only 93% effective.”
“Okay. Fine. I'm pregnant. So who do I see about an abortion?”
Later at the loft:
Justin was reading a magazine when Brian slammed in, muttering, “Fucking don’t know how to do male abortions yet, but of course they’ve figured out the delivery…”
“Hey,” Justin greeted him, glancing across the room.
Brian glared at him. He crossed to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of whiskey off its shelf. He took a huge gulp, his glare never leaving Justin’s figure. Justin shrugged at his lover’s bad mood and turned back to his magazine. Brian took a second gulp of whiskey, which failed to go down properly. Brian felt it burn into his gut. Oh, shit, drank too quick… oh, fuck that damn queasiness that had sent him to the doctor’s in the first place…
Brian sprinted to the bathroom, just in time to puke his guts out in the toilet.
Justin tried to ignore him, but after five minutes of Brian's dry heaving, Justin sighed and set the magazine aside. He walked over to lean in the bathroom doorway. “You okay, Brian?”
“No, I’m not fucking okay!” Brian yelled at him, clutching his stomach, “This is all your fault!!”
Justin glared back. “What the fuck? I said you ought to come with me to Mel’s partnership party. You decided to get wasted and fuck at Babylon. How is that my fault?”
“I’m not hung over, I’m fucking pregnant!!”
Justin stared at him for a moment, before a smile began to twist his lips. He just could not help the sudden delight that crossed his face.
“Don’t. You. Dare,” Brian commanded.
Justin burst out laughing. “You’re pregnant! Oh, this is too good, does Armani carry maternity wear?” He cackled, imagining fat Brian. Then, suddenly, he stopped as another thought occurred to him. “Hey… whose is it?”
“Oh, don’t be a fucking twat, I’m eight weeks along - count backwards.”
Oh, hell, Justin thought, realizing what that could be traced to. One more reason Brian would make toppy Justin an even rarer creature. Shit. “Hey, who you calling twat… and oh shit, how long will we be able to fuck? And will I still be attracted to you when you’re fat?” Justin’s lips twitched. This was going to be fun.
“Don’t even go there,” Brian warned. “I’m not getting fat, and you’re never fucking me again.”
But Justin was all out cackling. “Oh my god, you’re the woman!!”
Brian rested his head on the cool porcelain of the toilet bowl’s lip. “Justin. Shut up. We are going to find the best damn abortionist on the East coast, and then I am never letting you fuck me again.”
“Oh, no, we are not.” Justin’s voice was firm, all humor aside. He knelt down on the floor next to Brian, placed his hand on his back. “You’re having my baby. That’s so cool.”
“In your dreams. I am not, I repeat, not, having your baby.”