The loft, one and a half months later, Friday, August 23rd, 2002...

"Aren't you tired of drawing my cock?" Brian drawled, as he lay down on the bed, absently caressing his torso before reaching to his right for his pack of cigarettes. Deciding that was too much effort, he let his head drop back onto the pillow.

"No," Justin laughed. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes barely leaving his sketch pad. Ever since he'd gotten his sight back, Justin was drawing all the time. On the street, in the loft, anywhere he saw something that caught his eye. And most of the time, that was Brian.

"You should have told me that once you had your sight back, I would be doomed to suffer from your never-ending need to draw. I would have bargained for you to suck me off while you doodle, to spice things up. Staying still is not fun, you know," Brian complained, arching his back off the mattress to relieve the tension in his muscles.

"Shut up," Justin countered playfully. "I'm almost done."

"Thank the Lord," Brian retorted. "I will finally get compensation. A ‘hot' shower?"

"I have a check-up with John in an hour," Justin absently informed Brian. After his second surgery in late July, his left eye still wasn't as strong as his right one, but even though he couldn't see as clearly as prior to the bashing and would have to use glasses for the rest of his life, he didn't care. As far as the blond was concerned, John was a miracle worker.

"Who said shower sex couldn't be quick? You're not leaving this place without having welcomed my dick up your ass," Brian demanded with a smirk.

Justin paused, amused. "You're so romantic when you express your love, dear," he mocked, adding the last touches to his drawing.

"I have no problem professing I'm in love with your ass," Brian said, tongue-in-cheek, as he rolled onto his stomach, then onto his back again, pushing his head onto Justin's lap. With no choice but to stop drawing, Justin let his sketch pad fall to his side, while Brian grinned at him, waiting for the blond to express his gratitude over his declaration.

"You're..." Justin's voice trailed off.

"One of a kind? Hot as hell? The most irresistible man you have ever met?" Brian supplied, before affirming smugly, "Yeah. I know."

"I was aiming for sweet," Justin replied in a jesting tone. "You're so sweet."

"If I'm sweet, you can suck me off," Brian declared, raising his hand to grab the back of Justin's head and pull him into a kiss.

Of course, Justin soon complied with Brian's request and took his dick in his mouth, much to the brunet's delight. Unfortunately, the phone started ringing just when Brian felt himself hardening to full mast.

"Don't you dare," he growled when Justin stopped his ministrations.

"It could be important," the blond replied sheepishly as he reached for the phone in his pocket and stared at the name on the screen. "It's Lindsay," he informed Brian before answering. "Hey, Linds. What's up?"

Brian sighed heavily. So much for his reward. Peering up at Justin, he noticed his brow furrowing before the blond exclaimed, "Really?" his face lighting up. The conversation continued with Justin nodding a few times, his lips curling upward repeatedly, but Brian couldn't figure out what they were talking about. "I will tell him. Later," Justin finally concluded after a couple of minutes before ending the call.

"So?" Brian demanded, arching an eyebrow as he propped himself up on his elbows.

"Your appointment with Gus' doctor is confirmed for next Monday at ten thirty," Justin declared before discarding his cell on the bed and moving slowly to lie next to Brian, lowering his head to pepper Brian's stomach with small kisses.

"And?" Brian pushed, although his breath caught in his throat when Justin started to touch his cock.

"And," Justin licked the head sensually before glancing at his boyfriend with a mischievous smile, "Lindsay asked me to show some of my drawings at Sidney's gallery."

"Oh?" Brian responded absently since Justin was yet again teasing him with soft kisses along his shaft. "I assume you're pleased?"

Justin didn't stop as he fully devoted himself to Brian's cock, taking him into his mouth very slowly. He hummed loudly in agreement, though, the vibrations sending shivers throughout his lover's body.

Fuck. Only Justin could sound so dirty when he hummed around his cock. Brian groaned, propelling his hips upward. "When is the exhibition?" he asked before losing the power of speech. The blond was so fucking good at giving head.

Justin sucked him a little longer before pulling off and answering, "Next week. Now shut up, would you? This impressive cock needs my attention," he demanded before engulfing Brian's shaft, humming again.

Brian had no other choice but to obey.

Allegheny Hospital, Monday, 10:50 a.m.

"So, Mrs. Peterson, Mr. Kinney," Doctor Harris began from behind her desk, with Brian and Lindsay sitting across from her. She was Gus' nephrologist and had followed the little boy's condition ever since he was diagnosed. "I'm happy to say that based on the latest tests, we're confident Gus is ready for the transplant. But before talking about what that will involve, I want to make sure you understand this is just the beginning."

"We get it," Brian intervened. "Gus will always need medical attention, no matter how the surgery goes."

"Yes," Dr. Harris confirmed. "The fact that he is just a little boy and will receive your kidney means his body will need to adjust to its size. His heart will pump harder to accommodate an organ which is significantly larger than his, so the first year following the surgery will be critical. It's going to be tough."

Lindsay fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat. "But this is his best shot, right? I mean, Brian donating his kidney is better than waiting for a smaller organ to be available?"

Dr. Harris nodded. "It is. All research shows that receiving a kidney from a family member gives the patient a better chance for a full recovery, even for a young child. We couldn't schedule a transplant before now since Gus was too small, but now that he is gaining weight and growing up, I believe this surgery is his best chance. There is still a risk, though, that Gus will reject your kidney, Mr. Kinney. If it comes to that, we will start the dialysis again and wait for another organ to become available. A rejection doesn't necessarily mean his life would be threatened, but of course, we hope that won't happen. That's also why I can't emphasize strongly enough how important it is that he take his medications following the transplant. That will minimize the risk of rejection as well as making it easier for his heart to accommodate the new kidney."

"So..." Brian prompted, overwhelmed by the whole conversation. To know all that his son would have to endure made him feel sick. But there wasn't anything he could do about it. "How do we proceed?"

"You're going to undergo some more blood tests and the necessary exams to confirm we can schedule the surgery. Talk to my secretary to arrange the appointments. If your results come back clean, we will schedule your son's surgery in roughly two months. That means you will have to undergo more tests for the pre-op in October," Dr. Harris responded, staring at Brian. "Also, there's one matter we haven't discussed until now..."

"That matter being?" Brian asked.

"I believe you're straight?" Dr. Harris inquired, even though Brian felt like she was lying. He was aware that donating an organ as a gay man was not that simple. According to the law, he shouldn't be able to give his kidney to his son. That was why when Gus had been diagnosed, Melanie had suggested that he play straight and for Lindsay and Brian to be the only ones present at medical meetings, avoiding any further questions about their sexuality. The staff already knew Lindsay was a lesbian since Melanie had gone to the hospital with her when Gus became sick, but Brian had never told them he was gay. In fact, no one had asked him to confirm his sexual orientation until today. He had found it a bit odd, but he had gladly kept quiet. Not that he would have been surprised if the staff had discovered he was queer since anybody aware of his sexual orientation could have mentioned it. If it had come to that, Brian didn't know what he would have done. Knowing you were a match to save your son's life but being denied the chance just because you had sex with men and not women? The thought angered him, but it also scared him to death.

That was why he felt his blood run cold when Dr. Harris mentioned his sexual orientation. There was something in the way she looked at him that told Brian she knew.

Shit. She fucking knew.

"Gay men are not allowed to donate their organs if they've had sex with another man in the year prior to the transplant. You know that, right? In fact, in some cases, the interdiction could theoretically be extended to five years."

"So?" Brian tried to respond as nonchalantly as possible. No way was the doc going to prevent him from giving his kidney now, when she hadn't confronted him about being a fag during the past year. If she had done her job and warned him before, he could have pretended to stop having sex, as well as halting the extra services as an escort. It was not a lie when they made you lie, right? Hell, he could have even stopped having sex for his son. But he hadn't. He hadn't had sex with anyone but Justin for a couple of months, but legally it wasn't enough, even though all the tests to prepare for his son's surgery over the past year had been negative. He didn't drink, didn't do drugs. He ate healthily.

Fuck the law.

"So since all your blood tests have come back clean for the past year and since you're straight, the restrictions applying to gay men are not a problem for you," Dr. Harris resumed.

Brian frowned when he noticed she was trying to conceal a smile. "Cut the crap, Doc. What the fuck is this all about?" he couldn't help but snarl.

"Brian..." Lindsay stated sternly, reminding him that he couldn't fuck it up. Not now.

"You don't need to worry," Dr. Harris reassured him. "You see, my brother is gay. Actually, you know him."

"I do?" Brian asked, bewildered.

"Yes. He's a psychiatrist. Alex Wilder?" Dr. Harris revealed.

"Alex..." Brian repeated, remembering the last time he had seen him, a few months back. At the time, Gus had been really sick, having a hard time adjusting to his meds. Alex had been at a social event Brian attended with his boss, and since the man was a shrink, Brian had asked him for advice about how to cope with his son's disease. Later that night, Brian repaid him by fucking him at the baths. Alex hadn't mentioned, however, that his sister, the leading pediatric specialist for kidney failure at Allegheny Hospital, would likely handle Gus' case. "Yes. I know him," he acknowledged.

"That's what he told me when I mentioned your son was a patient," Dr. Harris confirmed. "He also told me than even if you were gay, you wouldn't have had sex in years since you're impotent."

"Impotent?" Brian barked out a laugh. He had a feeling Alex didn't use that word to describe their encounter, but he now better understood Dr. Harris's motives for ignoring his sexual status. Not only was she sympathetic to queers, she had also obtained the information during a private discussion with her brother. He therefore drawled, "And how exactly does Alex know you're my son's doctor? Aren't you bound by patient privacy rights?"

"We all have our secrets. Now you know mine," Dr. Harris answered knowingly. "Since as far as I'm concerned, you are either an impotent gay man or a straight one, I'm officially giving my assent for Gus' surgery, as long as all the tests remain clear."

"That's good to know," Brian replied with a false smile on his face.

"Thank you," Lindsay concurred. She had been so tense during the exchange that Brian could feel her relief in those two words.

Brian was about to stand up when Dr. Harris added, "You weren't smart about this, Mr. Kinney. Some of my colleagues wouldn't have been so conciliatory if they had learned you were pretending to be someone you're not. Believe me, I have heard stories about gay men being denied the chance to donate organs to their loved ones because of their sexuality. We still have a long ways to go to gain equality for all."

"I may have pretended to be straight, but nobody asked me to confirm or deny it until today," Brian countered, although he knew Dr. Harris was right. Furthermore, Brian remembered not answering the question about sexual orientation on his initial medical form. No one had ever commented on the omission, though, if it was even noticed.

"Be thankful there weren't any negative repercussions," Dr. Harris stated before declaring, "The subject is officially closed. I will see you soon to talk about the surgery. In the meantime, don't hesitate to call me if you have any questions, okay?" she addressed both Brian and Lindsay.

"We will call you if needed," Lindsay nodded as she shook the woman's hand.

"Mrs. Peterson," Dr. Harris said goodbye. "Mr. Kinney."

"Doc." Brian shook her hand before following Lindsay out of the office.

Lindsay and Melanie's place, Monday, 7:30 p.m...

Justin joined Brian at the girls' house at the end of the afternoon. They both planned to spend the night here, since Gus had asked for ‘Jussin' to come with his father the next time Brian slept at his home. The child had been particularly needy lately, and everyone agreed that getting together to support him would be a good thing.

After dinner, Gus carried his pencil case and a pad of paper over to his blond friend, who was lounging on the sofa next to Brian. "Jussin, wan' draw wif me?"

"Sure. Climb up here," Justin suggested, helping the boy settle onto his lap.

When Gus asked, "We draw Daddy?" Brian couldn't stop the fond smile that formed on his face.

"How about you with your dad?" Justin suggested. Gus beamed in response while Brian playfully grabbed him and tickled his ribs, making the toddler laugh hysterically.

"Come on," Brian urged as he put his son down by his side, next to Justin. The blond had placed the sketch pad on the coffee table, with two pieces of paper in front of them. "Let's show Justin what a real artist is," he quipped as he gave his son an orange pencil. Gus nodded vigorously and began to doodle away.

Half an hour later, when Lindsay came over to them, looking silently down at Gus, Justin announced, "Come on, buddy. It's time for you to go to bed."

"Daddy?" Gus begged his father.

"Show us your masterpieces, and then Justin and I are going with you to settle you down for the night, okay?" Brian proposed, sensing his son was disappointed to stop drawing. Gus reluctantly nodded before proudly producing the thirteen sheets of paper he had scribbled on, Justin and Brian pretending to be fascinated by every one of them. Apparently the boy was satisfied with their reactions since he didn't protest any further when Justin secured him in his arms.

"Go ahead," Lindsay murmured, bussing her son on the cheek. She then addressed Brian, "You know where everything is."

After helping his son change into his pajamas, Brian tucked Gus into bed, pulled out one of his favorite books, and started reading. Meanwhile, Justin whipped out the pad Gus had been scribbling on and sat at the end of the bed, beginning to sketch the scene.

It wasn't long before Gus began to yawn to the sound of Brian's voice and the susurrus of Justin's pencil moving across paper. Noticing his son's tiredness, Brian helped him get ready for his dialysis as soon as he had finished reading.

"Here... you can sleep now," Brian declared as he finished placing the tubes and programing the machine. Smiling lovingly down at his son, he switched off the lamp by the bed.

"Sleep wif me?" Gus asked hopefully.

"We will." Brian caressed Gus' forehead in reassurance. "Even if we will be obligated to spoon together," he added as he eyed the bed next to Gus'. It was nothing compared to the king-size one he had at home, but Justin and he could probably fit on it. They would just need to squeeze in a little, not that Brian minded much.

"Night, Daddy." Gus hugged his father, before calling out, "Night, Jussin."

"Night, buddy," Justin responded as he came closer to place a kiss on the boy's temple.

When they got back downstairs, Melanie held up a bottle of whiskey, arching her eyebrows in question.

"Fuck, yes," Brian groaned, collapsing onto the sofa and pulling Justin over to him. He figured one drink couldn't do any harm, although he would refrain from more.

"What did Gus' doctor say about the operation?" Justin inquired as he opened the notepad to add detail to the sketch.

Lindsay shrugged at Brian before heading to the kitchen, so the brunet gathered she was leaving it up to him as to how much he wanted to reveal about their discussion with Dr. Harris.

"That being gay sucks when you want to donate a kidney?" Brian answered derisively, picking up the glass Melanie had placed on the coffee table.

"What?" Justin exclaimed as he peered up at Brian.

"Relax." Brian took a sip of his Beam. "The operation will be scheduled in the next couple of months. But legally, I shouldn't be a donor." He stared at the amber liquid in his glass, waiting for the information to sink in before drawling wryly, "We live in a wonderful world, don't we?"

Melanie, surmising what had happened during their meeting with Gus' nephrologist, snarled, "Dr. Harris knows you're gay? What the fuck, Brian?"

"Hey!" Brian sneered. "She might know, but she consented for me to give my kidney to my kid, so back the fuck off." When he saw the frustrated look on her face, however, he revealed, "She is Alex Wilder's sister. The shrink?"

"You're kidding me," Melanie said, bewildered.

"Cheers to you too." Brian raised his glass in a jesting manner.

"Fuck..." Justin muttered. "I never thought the medical profession could give you a hard time about this because you're gay. I mean, I know the law, but it seems so insane not to allow someone to donate an organ, depriving a patient of their best shot at healing as a result, just because of the donor's sexuality. It's not like they can't force you to take as many tests as they want before the surgery ever happens, right?"

Brian let out a dry chuckle. "Yeah, I've been tested repeatedly ever since Gus was diagnosed. But laws are made by straight people. And there are only two kinds of straights. The ones who hate you to your face and the ones who hate you behind your back. Of course they don't allow us the same rights that they have."

"I think we're damned lucky on this one," Lindsay interjected when she returned from the kitchen, having obviously overheard Brian's statement. The brunet noticed right away how tense she was, not that he blamed her. For a short moment in that office, Brian had been scared shitless too.

Lindsay resumed as she started to pace, "If Dr. Harris had wanted to, she could have stopped the procedure. And there wouldn't have been anything we could have done about it, except wait for a new donor. So for once, can we just be grateful and stop talking about straight people being stupid jerks? Because from where I stand, a straight doctor saved our asses today."

Brian nodded. "She must be a dyke," he volunteered playfully, wanting to dissipate the tension coming from the mother of his child. When she gave him a stern look, he snorted, "What? I'm complimenting you!"

"You're insufferable," Lindsay responded, but she couldn't stop her lips from curling upward.

"You're realizing that just now?" Melanie mocked.

"Jesus, Justin, this is incredible," Lindsay ignored her partner's joke as she noticed the drawing the artist was working on. Coming to sit next to the blond, she peered down at the paper. "May I?"

"Sure," Justin handed her his work. He was happy with the way he had captured the father and son's love for each other.

"Can we display it at the gallery?" Lindsay inquired after staring at the faces on the paper for a minute. She was convinced this sketch would be perfect for the upcoming exhibition, where Justin had agreed to show his art.

"I wanted to give it to Brian," Justin disclosed.

"Of course." Lindsay nodded in understanding, handing the sketch back to Justin. "What if we display it as ‘not for sale' and then return it to you? How are your preparations for next Friday's exhibition coming along anyway?"

Justin smiled, agreeing, "That would be fine. And arranging an exhibition focused on sketches and drafts is a great idea, besides which Sidney seemed very pleased with the work I gave him."

"He must be. You're a genius," Brian declared seriously.

"I'm not a genius." Justin shook his head, albeit pleased by his companion's praise.

"No need to play modest, Sunshine. You're fucking good," Brian insisted, as he placed his hand at the back of his lover's neck, also gazing down at the sketch.

Later that night, after Justin had just fallen asleep in his arms, Brian held him, feeling the warmth of his body against his own.

He remembered how scared he had been just a few weeks ago, anticipating Justin seeing him for the first time. He'd thought it would change what they shared, that somehow Justin would realize that he wanted more than Brian could ever give him.

It was true that Justin regaining his sight had changed the dynamic between them. The blond didn't need someone to guide him anymore. He could go out and draw for hours, just sitting on a park bench somewhere. He could walk down the street, sit in a coffee shop, and watch life bustling around him. He could see the world for what it was.

He could see Brian, read him better than anyone else. But what Brian had failed to understand before was that having his sight had nothing to do with the blond's ability. Justin had always been able to read him.

Brian had never been happier to be proved wrong. Tightening his arms around his lover and glancing one last time at his sleeping son, he closed his eyes.

He didn't fall asleep immediately, his mind worrying about what was still to come. Gus' operation, his recovery, their future - so many things could go wrong. But even though he was scared, he held out hope that in the end, they would all be okay. He would do anything to be proved right this time.