Chapter 3 - Perseverance.

In spite of the relatively serious nature of Brian's injuries this time, still nothing much came of it. As soon as what he'd done penetrated Jack's alcohol befuddled brain, he'd fled the scene and hadn't returned for two days. Joan didn't wake from her own drunken stupor until rather late the next morning. When she discovered the kitchen virtually destroyed and her son lying unconscious in the middle of the wreckage, she immediately called 911 and reported that her home had been broken into and her son injured by the unknown invaders.

If she did know for a fact that it was really Jack who'd been responsible, she refused to admit it, even to herself. When the police and ambulance arrived, she told them her husband was gone on a trip for the weekend with his buddies and that she and Brian had been alone in the house all night. She didn't, in actual fact, KNOW that it had been Jack. But just to make sure she didn't have to worry about a guilty conscience, she planned to confess to the sin of lying the next time she went to church so that she could be absolved of even the vague possibility of telling an untruth. She knew God would understand and forgive her since all she was doing was trying to protect her family.

Brian was released from the hospital on Sunday afternoon. Justin stayed with him the entire time, even though Brian stubbornly refused to acknowledge him at all. Justin tried several times to talk to Brian, but in the end he gave up and simply sat in the corner watching his boy, frustrated that he couldn't do more to help.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Things were a little better around the Kinney place for a while after that. When Jack finally did come home, he found Brian ensconced in the corner of the living room couch, his arm propped up on a stack of pillows and a throw draped over him for warmth with a cool drink and snacks placed nearby, while he watched his favorite television shows.

Jack merely nodded at the boy, sat himself down in the armchair next to the couch and didn’t say anything. The next day Jack started his new job, which meant he was gone for most of every day. It also meant that he was still on his best behavior as far as his drinking was concerned since he needed this job too much to risk it by being hung over or drunk on the job site.

For the entire time Brian had the cast on his arm, his father left him alone. Jack rarely spoke to his son over the next few weeks and even seemed to avoid looking at the boy. It was like the cast itself was a reminder of what had happened and the elder Kinney didn’t want to see it or acknowledge the ‘incident’ in any way. Brian didn’t care as long as it meant he wasn’t being smacked around on a regular basis.

It wasn’t long after the cast came off, though, before everything started to fall apart again.

The bill from Brian’s hospital stay arrived in the mail about a week later. Jack was really not happy when he saw the huge final balance. He tracked Joan down in the living room and immediately bellowed to Brian to come down from his room. When the boy came into the room, Jack was looming over a seated Joan waving the despicable bill in her face and ranting at her about all the costs. Joan wisely didn’t say anything. She just sat with her most passive expression on her face and let the man rave, hoping he’d eventually get it out of his system. Brian, on the other hand, wasn’t able to stay quite so sanguine at the return of the menacing bully his father had turned into.

“What the fuck is all this?” Jack yelled at the two of them. “$500 for ‘Ambulance Services’? Why the fuck did you have to call an ambulance? All the kid had was a broken arm for Christ’s sakes. Couldn’t somebody have just driven him to the hospital? What do you think I am - made of money? I work fucking hard for every dollar I earn. I don’t need you useless freeloading losers continually sucking me dry like this . . ."

The tirade went on and on. Luckily for everyone, Jack had been sorting the mail on his way into the house after work and he hadn’t yet had his first drink of the night. Otherwise, the ranting would have quickly escalated to physical violence. But just because he was sober didn’t mean that Jack wasn’t hurtful and cruel. His words seemed to flail at Brian as hard, if not harder, than his fists. The poisonous words were much more insidious, though. The physical wounds healed eventually and usually didn’t leave any permanent marks. Jack’s words, however, sank into the tortured boy’s psyche and festered, gnawing away at his self-esteem long after the outward wounds were forgotten. In fact, it seemed that Jack was even better at the emotional abuse when he was sober.

“What do you have to say about this, Sonny Boy?” Jack demanded when he finished berating everyone he thought had ever wronged him, especially his wife and son.

“I . . . I’m sorry, Pops . . . I didn’t know . . .” Brian hesitatingly started, not really sure what the man wanted him to say - he hadn’t really had any say in the matter, since he’d been unconscious at the time and, being not quite ten yet, didn’t really know that much about hospital bills.

“Sorry is Bullshit, Sonny Boy. A real man doesn’t bother to apologize,” Jack lectured the cowering child. “A real man stands up for whatever he does no matter what the fucking consequences. If he screws up he admits it and fixes it, if he can, and if he can’t he lives with the goddamned consequences. God knows I’ve been living with the consequences of MY actions ever since I knocked up your bitch of a mother. But I’m still fucking here aren’t I? Don’t ever let me hear you saying you’re ‘sorry’ again, boy. It doesn’t fucking change anything and just makes me even more pissed. You got that?”

As punishment for having wasted all that money on unnecessary medical services, Brian was grounded and sent to his room without dinner for the rest of the week. Justin showed up in Brian’s room every afternoon that week, as soon as the student got home from school, wanting to keep the morose youngster company. Brian continued to ignore Justin’s presence and didn’t respond at all when the worried blond tried to talk to him.

Over the ensuing months Brian withdrew more and more from Justin. Justin understood what was happening - just as Jack misdirected his anger about his unhappy life at his son, Brian was taking out his own frustrations on the only person he could. Of course, Justin understood what Brian was doing, but it still hurt. He loved Brian so much and wanted to comfort him even when the boy refused to be comforted. But Justin had promised that little baby that he would always be there for him and he intended to keep his promise.

Besides, Justin really didn’t have any choice in the matter, because when he felt Brian’s need for him he simply had to come. That was his sole purpose for existence, at least for the moment, wasn’t it? He had known from the time he was a little boy himself that he was meant to be with Brian. He had dreamed of the man this boy would become for years before he’d even been born. Justin wasn’t sure how it would all work out, but he was sure that they were meant for each other and that they would be together, somehow, one day. In the meantime, he had to do everything in his power - however little that was, currently - to protect and care for his soul mate.

So even when Brian turned away from him, refused to speak with him or even look at him, Justin didn’t leave. Every time he felt the pull, he would be there for Brian, even if it meant that all he could do was stand somewhere nearby and hopefully show Brian how much he cared with his mere presence. He was constantly frustrated that he couldn’t do more, though. Every single time he had to watch Brian being hit or denigrated by his father, Justin racked his brain to figure out some way, any way, he could stop what was happening. Nothing had come to him so far, though, which meant that he just waited and kept watch and tried to reassure Brian that he was truly loved even though the boy often refused to listen.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

As the months and then years dragged by, Brian became more and more inured to his horrid, hidden life. In order to keep the abuse a secret he really couldn’t have any close friends. He hardened his heart, refused to let anyone else in and told himself he didn’t need friends. He had always been independent and intelligent so he did well in school and after school he went on his lonely way, dealing with whatever he had to deal with alone.

Although Brian wasn’t really ever completely alone. His longtime guardian stayed by him the entire time, even though Brian refused to acknowledge Justin’s continued presence. In fact, Brian got quite good at avoiding having to deal with Justin at all. They had always had a connection and could almost sense each other’s presence as soon as they were near. So Brian began to actively ‘feel out’ his environment and avoid Justin whenever he sensed the other boy was nearby. He got quite proficient in turning back in the hallways, crossing the street to walk on the other side or even just avoiding a particular room or location altogether if he felt Justin was there.

And, out of sight - out of mind, right?

Of course Brian didn’t consciously think of it like this - he had eventually managed to convince himself that Justin didn’t really exist. Justin was simply someone he’d made up as a small lonely child so he wouldn’t have to bear his life alone. Now that he was older, he thought that it wasn’t right to still be relying on an 'imaginary friend'. And, as long as he managed to avoid Justin, he could keep telling himself it was all just his imagination. By the age of fourteen he was already very good at compartmentalizing his life - uncomfortable things were simply set aside and not dealt with. He forced himself to not think about even the possibility of Justin and therefore he was able to block out the existence of his onetime friend. If he sometimes couldn’t avoid a glimpse of a beautiful pale teen with a glorious mop of blond hair trailing along not far behind him, he just didn’t let himself think about it.

Justin didn’t let Brian’s behavior faze him. He was always there, regardless of whether or not Brian wanted to accept his presence. And, in fact, he began to subtly use Brian’s instinctive avoidance of him to guide the younger man’s path.

The first time it happened, it was an accident. Justin had been waiting for Brian after the youth had had a particularly difficult day. Brian had been trying to avoid the school bullies ever since he’d started freshman year of high school. The group of Junior and Senior boys had apparently made it their sacred duty to harass all freshmen boys until they were adequately humiliated for having dared to make it to high school. In the past, Brian’s physical size and loner attitude had been enough to keep most bullies away from him. But, here in high school, he was no longer one of the bigger kids any more and being a loner just meant that he was an easier target for this group.

The final bell of the day had rung and all the students were rushing out of their classes ready to escape the school for the weekend. Brian wasn’t quite as enthusiastic about heading home for two full days as the rest, which meant he was at the tail end of the pack of teens heading towards the lockers. Justin had been waiting for Brian all afternoon - he’d appeared earlier when he first felt Brian’s anger and frustration as John Matthews and his buddies had ‘accidentally’ knocked over his lunch tray - and was just hanging out in the school hallways to try and get a glimpse of his elusive charge. He wanted to make sure his boy was alright.

Justin had positioned himself within sight of Brian’s locker but far enough away that the wary brunet wouldn’t feel his presence. While he watched, Justin saw the same group of bullies that had been harassing Brian at lunch loitering around the freshmen lockers - obviously looking for a potential target for the afternoon’s intimidation games. Justin reacted immediately. He couldn’t just stand there and let Brian walk into an ambush. He intended to warn him so his boy wouldn’t be taken unawares.  

Brian was only halfway down the hall, literally dragging his feet, and trying to come up with some new excuse to delay going home. Then, all of a sudden, the vision of his childhood ‘imaginary’ friend appeared directly in his pathway. Brian was forced to come to a stop or run right into Justin and, since he was still going with the theory that Justin wasn’t real, physically running into this figment of his imagination wasn’t going to help. He didn’t know exactly what to do. But, after standing there for several seconds without saying anything, Brian set his shoulders, turned his back on the disturbing sight and marched away in the opposite direction. Fuck getting his books or jacket - he just had to get out of there now and would worry about all that other stuff later, he figured. He didn’t want to think about what he’d seen. He filed the experience away in his mind amongst all the other items he didn’t want to think about and headed straight out the door.

Justin had been ready to yell a warning at Brian about the danger ahead. He didn’t care that Brian was trying to ignore him. He was determined to yell, jump up and down or do whatever else was needed to make sure Brian didn’t walk into that ambush unwarned. However, he never got the chance to say anything since, as soon as Justin had appeared, Brian had simply turned away and walked back the way he’d come. Justin was confused for a split second and then he smiled. This was perfect! He’d hit on a solution to the one problem he’d had from the very start - he now had a way to protect Brian. With Brian so intent on avoiding him, all he had to do was show up and let his mere presence guide Brian away from trouble. Finally, Justin felt he had some control over his environment - or at least Brian’s environment - and he could take active steps to help the person he loved.

~~*~~*~~*~~

After that, Justin started using his brilliant new technique relentlessly to guide Brian’s course. It meant more vigilance than before - instead of just showing up when he felt Brian was upset or needed him, he had to be there most all the time in order to deter future trouble. But that wasn’t really any hardship since Justin wanted nothing more than to be with Brian always. It didn’t always work - sometimes Justin didn’t see exactly what kind of trouble was brewing far enough in advance to keep Brian away. Sometimes there was just no way to avoid it. Brian was still only fourteen and needed a place to live, which meant he was still at Jack’s mercy much of the time, but Justin was able to keep Brian at least a little safer than he’d been before.

And, after a while, Justin started to use this power to not only direct Brian away from trouble but also towards some good things. One afternoon, when Justin had spotted a twenty dollar bill falling out of a businessman’s pocket, he actively herded Brian across the park until Brian found the windfall and became $20 richer. When Brian found himself being ‘pushed’ out his regular path home one day, he decided to go the long way and providentially came across a marketing group handing out free passes to the latest new release movie. It was all just small things, but little by little, Brian’s life became more bearable because of Justin’s guidance.

The biggest change in Brian’s life though, came about halfway through the school year. That morning, he’d been late to his algebra class and was hurrying around the corner when he suddenly felt that nagging little feeling that warned him to avoid that particular hall. Brian quickly backtracked and took another path that would get him there, although he’d be even later. When he was almost to the classroom again, he was startled by a loud banging noise coming from the series of lockers stationed against the nearby wall. When he listened carefully for a moment, he could hear what sounded like crying coming from one of these lockers along with more bumping and pounding noises. Brian easily deduced what had happened - someone had been shoved into a locker.

Brian knocked softly against the metal locker door, causing the noises inside to cease abruptly. “Um, excuse me,” Brian politely questioned the locker’s inhabitant. “Did you want to be shut up in this locker or would you like me to get you out?”

“Of course I don’t want to be locked in here!” came the muffled reply.

“So that’s a yes on me getting you out then?” Brian laughed at the outrage in the voice coming from within. “You really should ask me more nicely, you know.”

“Please, let me out!” was the grudgingly polite reply.

After a little more discussion, Brian discovered that the boy in the locker was it’s putative owner and knew the combination, which greatly simplified the process of getting the prisoner out. Brian followed directions, unlocked the locker and pulled the door open, just barely catching the smaller boy who fell out as soon as the door was no longer there to support him. Brian couldn’t help but snicker a little at the look of embarrassment on the other kid's face as he stood him upright and helped steady him.

“So, who put you in the locker?” Brian asked as soon as his new friend was stable.

“John Matthews, who else?” replied the short, dark-haired kid as he dusted off his clothes. “Thanks for getting me out. I’m Michael Novotny,” he said as he bravely stuck out his hand to shake that of his rescuer.

“Brian Kinney,” the young hero returned.

“Yeah, I know . . . you’re in my algebra class . . . So, do you want to come with me after school to the diner where my Mom works? I’ll buy you a soda as a ‘Thank You’ for saving my ass,” Michael offered after a moment.

“Sure. Why not?” Brian answered and then the two boys gathered their books and headed off to class together.

Justin, who’d been watching the whole thing and had purposely headed his charge down that particular hallway, smiled from the end of the corridor. He figured that Brian had been alone too long. It would be good for the boy to have a friend or two. Maybe this spunky little ‘Michael’ would suit his purposes.