January 2015
“You’re still talking to that girl?”
Hunter looks away from his phone and tries to force himself to put it down, but only manages to turn it over on the outdoor chaise, his hand still clasped to the back.
“And what if I am?”
Quinn lets out a groan and lifts himself up to sit on the edge of the pool, “If you are then, I hate to say it, but you are letting other opportunities pass by, like you have been ever since you came back.”
Hunter feels a surge of anger at the words and grits his teeth, before sending his friend a forced smile, “And what kind of opportunities am I missing, Mr...what was your last role? A club boy corpse on CSI: LA?”
“Ha. Ha. Ha,” Quinn answers bitterly, “Dick. But I will forgive you, since you’re heartsick and whatnot. Besides, I wasn’t even talking about career opportunities. We all know you are doing really well in your field, especially at your age, blahdy blah blah. What I am talking about are women. Women who are actually in Los Angeles, where there’s the potential that you can actually touch them on a regular basis.”
Hunter rolls his eyes, “Like you know shit about women. You are literally the gayest man I have ever met.”
Quinn throws a hand to his chest and lets out a gasp, “Oh honey, how you compliment me so! You know, if you are ever curious, I always did think you were awfully cute-”
“Been there, done that. Countless times actually. Not my thing,” Hunter interrupts, looking back at his phone.
“But I feel like, in a setting without the dark, upsetting, frightening, and confusing sources that led to your previously gay life, we could really be happy together,” Quinn singsongs, coming over to trace a finger over Hunter’s bicep.
“Dude, stop,” Hunter tells him, annoyed, not even taking his eyes off his phone.
Quinn gives him a sympathetic look, “I'm sorry. I took that too far. But it came from a good place, I promise. I do worry about you, you know. I know that it is a big enough thing to you to share your status. But, much more so, to...share that part of your life with the women you've been involved with. Hannah took it well enough. I liked her a lot. But Karissa? Tessa? Ugh. I just don't want to see you hurt more than you have to, especially with the long distance thing thrown into the mix.”
Yeah. Hannah is still the only girlfriend he has ever had who took both his positive status and past pretty ideally, asked questions to get a better idea of what happened but accepted him for it regardless. They had lasted for about a little over year, even lived together for a while. But both of them had been so busy, their relationship ended up being more roommates with benefits, rather than passionate or romantic. They still meet up once in awhile to get lunch and catch up. But things had tied up smoothly and, ultimately, she has been a friend since.
Karissa had taken it horribly but, going by the vibe he had been starting to get when it came to what kind of person she was, he had been expecting a bad response, especially after he revealed to her he was positive before they started having sex. Ultimately, she had accepted it, but behaved a little differently after that. But when he had told her about what led to him being positive? That had caused her to break up with him. He had accepted it though, learning long before that, for him, dating and relationships would be difficult and hit or miss.
He hadn't expected Tessa to react the way she did to the prostitution though, especially after explaining the circumstances of his time on the streets and what he had gone through before that point. That break-up had been a lot harder and had hurt.
“Molly already knows,” Hunter blurts out, “She doesn't know every single detail, I doubt anyone does. But she has known that I am positive. She knows why I am positive. And she hasn't looked at me differently once.”
Quinn blinks at that, “Shit. That just might make the long distance part of all this suck even more.”
Hunter’s phone pings and he picks it up to see a picture from Molly, a selfie of herself bundled up winter jacket, scarf, and toboggan, glaring and pouting at what Hunter supposes is his pool picture, with the caption, ‘Fuck you.’
“Yeah,” Hunter sighs sadly, sending just a winking emoji in return before putting down his phone.
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Hunter’s schedule is full the next few days, with 16 hour shoots along with more responsibilities. The DP had been crazy about him at first, loved his vision and interesting and unconventional framing and filming ideas. Now he's getting the vibe that Daniel, said DP, is starting to hate him because, within just a few weeks of being the lead camera operator, Jeff, the creator of the show, had been coming to him for ideas and implementing them in the show and slowly, but surely, moving more and more of Daniel’s ideas out. It’s flattering but it’s awkward working with Daniel when he has been making passive aggressive comments like,
“Pretty soon, they will be replacing me all together with you, won't they? Out with the old and in with the new!”
And, although that particular promotion hasn't been brought up, Jeff had been eager to help him with his reel, build it up and give him more creative liberties to make it the best it could be, even told him on the down low that he'd be giving him co-cinematographer credits on some of the episodes. And wouldn't that go well with Daniel?
He’s kept mostly quiet about it. When he's asked about it from the cast and crew, he stays vague and respectful.
When he's talking to Molly? He's more blunt about it.
“It's fucking uncomfortable, is what it is,” Hunter tells her, setting his coat on his couch before scratching Katniss behind the ears, “The rumors are bad enough, but the fact that Daniel gave me the job and now hates me because his boss is starting to like my ideas more than his is sort of a guilt trip.”
“At least it is a flattering guilt trip,” Molly assures him, “At least you don't have the principal breathing down your neck because you are actively challenging him and the school board on the small budget percentage spent on hands on materials and the lack of extracurriculars.”
“They should appreciate that they hired someone who actually gives a shit,” Hunter mutters, going to the kitchen to look in his freezer.
“And Daniel should be grateful he hired a highly competent person for the job,” Molly returns, “Now, what are you wearing?”
Hunter barks out a laugh, “Just going to jump right to it then?”
But the words do make Hunter close the freezer door. With Molly on the line, murmuring a seductive, albeit cliché line, he'd rather have his dick in his hand than on a Hot Pocket.
When they finish off, both breathing heavily from the dirty words, hopeful and wistful promises, and the mere sound of the other’s voice, he finds himself in the dimly lit living room, as she softly rambles on about nothing of real importance, yet it has become one of the most comforting sounds in his day to day life anyway.
It’s only been a couple of weeks since New Year’s. It feels like it has been so much longer. Wouldn't it have to be in order for his feelings to become this intense? For him to genuinely miss her the way he does? This, this spell of some sort he has been under, it couldn't be normal.
“You should come visit sometime.”
The words come out of his mouth before he has a chance to stop them, before he has the chance to wonder if there's a possibility that Molly doesn't feel as strongly. That she might see their conversations and texts and Skype and FaceTime sessions as an inconvenient convenience, to get off, for a feeling of pseudo companionship, for someone to just talk to, but doesn't feel the strong affection he feels for her.
“I want to,” Molly whispers, “I can't really afford it and don't really have any breaks coming up until spring break in March, but I want to.”
“I could pay for it,” Hunter says, already fine with that financial commitment before he can even think about the fact they have just been talking for a few weeks.
“It would be a waste,” Molly snorts, “Leave Friday evening, maybe Friday afternoon if I am lucky, get there late that night or early Saturday morning, before heading back out Sunday morning. You would have me for a day.”
Hunter lets out a breath before feeling a sad smile form on his lips, “It would be a pretty awesome day.”
Molly hums at that, “Yeah. It really would be.”
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Tyler throws a random house party on Saturday night and invites what seems like everyone the guy has ever met. He goes, mainly at the urging of a couple members of the crew and Tyler himself. He sends a quick text to Molly beforehand, letting her know he will be out. He knows he isn't obligated. That it could even make her think he's clingy or needy. So he keeps himself from sneaking away to talk to her, to enjoy the company of his coworkers and a few friends.
He’s also trying to not hurt the feelings of the woman who has been hitting on him all night too much.
He recognizes her. One of the actresses on the newest episode they have been filming. She’s playing a young teacher, just a couple of scenes so far. Not a big role at all, that he could tell so far at least but, since she is hitting on him, he doubts it is to gain status or further her career.
“I live not too far from here. You could come back with me,” she tells him, her face inches away from his face as he feels her warm breath hit his jaw, smelling of vodka.
“I could show you a good time,” she continues to tempt him.
She probably could show him a good time, especially if she doesn't get put off by the positive thing and realizes condoms are effective. She is pretty, dark chestnut hair, light gray eyes, nice smile.
But she's drunk. Maybe not wasted, but buzzed enough to pursue him boldly and have that slightly dazed look in her eyes. The way she presses her lips against his doesn’t completely distract him from that fact.
But the phone in his pocket is even more distracting, weighing him down as if it were a brick.
“I’m...I’m sort of seeing someone,” Hunter tells her as he breaks away from her. It’s sort of a lie, maybe, but it doesn’t feel like one.
“...Oh,” she ends up answering, disappointed but still dazed, “Sorry. Is she here?”
“No. But she’s...she’s important.”
Molly is more than that. Smart, funny, kind, beautiful, complex, flawed. Important doesn’t really cut it. But it would do until he could sort out what she has been doing to him.
When he goes home that night, after he gets ready for bed, he gives her a call. She sounds tired, guarded, off. It makes his stomach drop but he tries to keep his cool about it, tries to keep things light until it gets to be too much for him.
“Are you okay?” he asks her, sitting down on his bed before nudging Katniss off of his pillow, “You seem down.”
“...I don’t know,” Molly sighs, “I just...I don’t know.”
“What’s wrong? C’mon, talk to me.”
Hunter already knows they both usually sucked when it came to talking things out. He has probably two decades worth of experience of bottling things up, acting out because of sadness or anger or his PTSD, something he had refused to even admit he has until a few years ago.
It sucks to know that Molly is sort of like him with her inability to confide in people when she’s sad, conflicted, or depressed. She has shared a lot with him up until this point. He has shared a lot with her these last few weeks, has let his guard down more with her than he had with almost anyone, except for Ben and Michael.
“Justin called our dad. Justin is letting him come up to New York in a few weeks to meet up and visit him.”
Hunter pauses, “That’s a good thing, right? They’ve been on bad terms since your brother came out?”
“Yeah,” Molly confirms, “It isn’t Justin hearing him out, not really. I mean, the man probably cheated on our mom, disowned his son, and tried on and off with me at best after all of it went down, so yeah, I’m still bitter towards him. But the way Justin said he sounded? It...fuck, I don’t know.”
Molly goes silent and Hunter listens to her breathe for a moment.
“Lie down,” he tells her softly, lying back on his bed himself, “You need to rest and get your mind off this for a minute. Sleep on it, okay?”
Molly sniffles once and it sets off an alarm in Hunter’s brain.
“Molly? You alright?”
“Yeah,” Molly breathes out, “It’s just allergies.”
“Li-”
“I also really wish you were here with me.”
Hunter’s breath hitches at the statement, “Yeah. I really wish I was there with you too.”
He talks to her until she falls asleep, everything from what he ate for breakfast to some of the things he wants to do in his career, in his life. How he wants to help kids get off the streets and has been trying to think of the most effective ways how to. She brainstorms with him on that.
When Molly becomes exhausted and close to sleep, her words become one or two syllable mumbles, he tells her that she might be the most beautiful person he’s ever met.
He doesn’t think she’ll remember it. That’s probably for the best. He just needed to say it.
And when her breathing evens out, he stays on the line with her, keeping his phone on charge right next to his ear as he lets himself fall asleep as well.