Before I Let Go- Frankie Beverly and Maze

You made me happy/ This you can bet/ You stood right beside me, yeah

And I won't forget / And I really love you/ You should know/ I wanna make sure I'm right {girl}/ Before I let go

Now we've had our good times/ That's what they say/ We're hurtin' each other/ {Girl}, it's a shame/ I won't be foolish, no, no/ I wanna know

I wanna make sure I'm right, {girl}, oh/ Before I let go, yeah, uh

You know I think the sun rises and shines on you/ You know there's nothin', nothin', nothin' I would not do/ Whoa, no

Before I let you go

Oh...

I would never, never, never, never, never, never, never

Never let you go before I know

We were so close/ I love your charm, ooh/ I can’t understand it, no

Where did we go wrong/ I won't be askin', {girl}/ I've got to know

I gotta make sure I'm right/ Before I let go, ha-ha

I wanna know/ I wanna know

I can't, I can't let you go

Cause I know

Meet the Counselors...

Counselors: Will hold both individual and couple sessions

Alex Wilder *Brian and Justin

Barry Monroe *Ben and Michael

Duke Masterson* Emmett and Drew

Bernard Fisher* Ted and Blake

Staying or Going Summary:

Justin gets a job offer that he’s been considering for a while. Brian seems to be making the decision for him, although he’s not discussed it with Brian at all. Why? Because Michael keeps calling for Brian at the most inopportune times. Although Brian had the locks changed at Justin’s request, it’s still like Michael is the third-party in their relationship. After more than seven years post-Fiddler, Justin is beginning to wonder if they are even worth fighting for anymore. So when Michael suggests a ‘Partner-free Week’, naturally Justin is pissed that Brian decides to go without even talking with him about it, but decides to take the time to decide if Brian is still who he wants and whom he wants to be for himself.

Brian knows that Justin has been hiding something from him but he isn’t sure what. So he’s opting for avoidance, which is why whenever Michael calls, Brian gets the hell out of house as fast as his legs can move. It’s not that he really wants to spend time in the Stud edition of Fantasy Island that Michael seems to still inhabit whenever Brian is around. Although he and Justin aren’t monogamous, they haven’t been seeking pleasure outside of each other and Brian just hasn’t wanted to. But old fears are beginning to resurface back from the Ethan Gold days, and Michael’s slight digs aren’t helping matters. So when Michael suggests that he needs to get away and he wants just the original four guys together for a Partner-free week, Brian decides to go; to rethink the last seven years and try to figure out where they are going wrong again. He doesn’t want to lose Justin but if it means the blond’s happiness, than Brian will let him go once and for all this time.

In or Out Summary- Ben and Michael

Ben is feeling like his relationship with Michael is just spinning tires with nowhere else to go. At first, he was thrilled that Michael chased him, singing horribly in Woody’s, humiliating himself, all for a chance to be with him. But with Michael’s latest regression into days gone by, Ben is beginning to wonder why Michael did. Meanwhile he is experiencing his own self-esteem issues upon the death of yet another of Paul’s former partners. Paul was the man who infected him after having an affair with James Howard, Ben’s former best friend. Michael’s continued obsession with all things Brian is causing a painful recollection that Ben doesn’t want to feel. He now has to decide if his marriage to Michael is worth saving.

Michael cannot believe the monotony his life has taken on. Work, home, husband, that seems to be all there is to his life. And it isn’t  just him, but his circle of friends too. He missed how his life was before responsibility took it over.  So whenever he gets a chance, he calls Brian to cure him of his boredom, which as of late seems to be incurable. It doesn’t help that Brian and Justin seemed to be getting closer and closer to actually making a ceremonial commitment. That would be the worse thing ever for Michael, since it would mean that Brian has the same obligations to Justin that he has to Ben, and would no longer have the freedom to be at Michael’s beck and call. Although he’s given up his ‘Two Old Queens in Palms Springs’ dreams of Brian a long time ago, it still doesn’t mean that he’s content to let Brian build a life with Justin. So Michael decides that a ‘Partner-free Week’ is in order, to remind the guys- especially Brian- what their lives were before the prison of adulthood took over. Since he and Ben are arguing once again, it seems the perfect opportunity to get away.

The Wife or the Mistress Summary- Ted and Blake

Like Justin, Blake is fed up with Michael’s interference in their relationship, but also with Ted’s attention to work. Although he understands that Brian is a demanding boss and that success is extremely important to both Brian and Ted, specifically because of their ‘departures’ from VanGuard and Wertschafters respectively, and the constant nagging and subtle naysaying, coming primarily from Michael Novotny- Lord of All he Surveys, Blake is feeling neglected and wondering why he is still around. Add to that, Michael’s digs about his past and a family crisis he’s heard of from the one sister he is still in touch with, but unable to go and visit his grandfather whom is asking for him because of his homophobic parents and siblings.  Blake is feeling trapped within a life he isn’t sure he wants to lead anymore and is fighting the urge to pick up again.

Ted is fighting those same urges to fall back into the ‘old’ habits. His self-esteem is constantly being assaulted by the fact that he and Blake haven’t been sexually active lately. Every time they even remotely get something going, either Michael is calling or Blake’s sister is. Ted feels that he is stuck between who he used to be and who he wants to be- not moving forward while trying not to backslide- To combat the urges and thoughts that he is no longer enough for Blake or that he is always one heartbeat away from letting Crystal reclaim him, Ted is throwing himself into work and making Kinnetik the biggest fucking success it’s ever been. Although they have been in business for a number of years, both he and Brian, with the help of Cynthia and Justin, are about to land a huge account that would allow Kinnetik to go International. To Ted, it may be his chance to break free of his addiction and the influence of Michael once and for all. But he goes along on the Partner-free Week, to decide if he is working so hard to run away from the box being part of the gang keeps him in, or is it really that he wants it to be just him and Blake, without having to tell everyone else to butt out of their relationship. Is Ted running away from having to stand up for himself and Blake?

Fire and Ice Summary- Emmett and Drew

Work has been busy for both Drew and Emmett- so much so that when they are together lately all they do is sleep, talk about bills, and have a perfunctory fuck right before bed, which feels more like an obligation to them. So when Michael suggest the PFW on one of the only free weeks within the next six months that he and Emmett have available, Drew is pissed off. Emmett, of course, promises Drew that they will spend some time together, but right now Michael needs him. Drew urges Emmett to go but to remember that Drew has the exact same options that he has, and not to expect that he will be waiting when he decides to be his husband as opposed to Michael’s whipping boy. Of course that comment starts an argument, which ends with Emmett storming out, going with the guys without saying goodbye. The entire trip, Emmett wonders what the fuck he was doing there and why Drew wasn’t picking up his phone. Finding it odd, he mentions the situation to Ted, Brian, and Michael.

Whereas Brian and Ted told Emmett they were getting the same kind of silent treatment, Michael basically ordered them to stop calling, saying that he and Ben had decided not to speak and that it was Partner-free week for a reason. To that end Michael decides that he needs to devise a plan to get the guys full-attention on him and on having a great time with the men on the island- not the ball and chains they left at home...

Therapy Begins...

So just as a quick reminder, the next series of chapters is going to have a bit of a different format to how it's been in the past. There is a reason for that, which you will probably notice during this chapter. Once we hit BOOK III, we'll get back to our regularly posted chapter schedule (well as much as it can be anyway).

HAPPY READING,

~Nichelle

Hey Y'all,

I would apologize for taking so long with this series of updates, but... In all honesty, even though the chapter has been percolating in my brain for quite sometime- even some portions written- they were amazingly hard to get through. I fought with it, challenged myself to write it, then procrastinated and ran from the storyline until I finally submitted, understanding that it was NOT going to change its mind, and must be written from a completely honest place. It made me as emotionally vulnerable as these characters are. Blake and Ted's journey contains incredibly sensitive subject matters for so many reasons in all its many facets. So I hope that it affects you all the same way it has me. 

HUGS,

~Nichelle

Just an FYI: The next series of chapters, are not going to appear in their usual order. There is a reason for that, which is that there are several conversations/ scenarios taking place at the same time. Don't worry about it though; you'll still be able to follow along easily. I just wanted to give the heads up in case anyone thought I was confused about where I left off. 

ENJOY!!

HUGS and LOVE,

~Nichelle

P.S. Hopefully, we will be closing this Friday on the housing situation so that I can get back to doing what I want to do, which is WRITING. Of course there is still much to be done afterwards, but life will hopefully become a little less chaotic than it has been these last few months. Well from my lips to God's ears, at any rate...

As you know, any updates I give to this story will have to be done in increments. Each section is large and in charge, so I definitely have to split the time I'm able to update it based on my current writing schedule. 

I hope you enjoy this chapter. All mistakes are mine since it's unbetaed. Between me and Lorie, we'll get it sorted, should the need arise.

HAPPY READING and HUGS!

~Nichelle