THE WIFE or THE MISTRESS: BOOK II: CHAPTER 6: EYES WIDE OPEN

BLAKE

As I sit here listening to their collective story, I understand so much more now than I did before about the hold the Novotnys had on these men. My heart really goes out to each of them. Considering my own family dynamic, with the exception of Diane, I can understand exactly how they are feeling right now. It’s like losing your foundation all over again. Sadly, the feeling never leaves; just dulls a bit. But now they have a decision to make about where they see us- meaning Justin, Drew, and I- within the scope of all of this. For better or worse, we are their family now, and although we may not share the history they did with Michael and Deb, I know that all of us are still planning to be around.

“What are you thinking so hard about, Squirt?” Drew asks me.

“Just how I can support the guys in whatever decision they make. Like it or not, Deb and Michael have been the only real family they have known for quite a long time. And whereas I have been estranged from mine since forever, I know that this detachment will be harder if it happens.”

“Oh, it’s going to happen,” Brian announces. “Justin isn’t expendable, and I think I can safely say that Ted and Em feel the same way about the two of you.”

“But…”

“No buts, Blake. The fact of the matter is that Diane was right in what she said to Debbie. The reign of Novotny terror is over. The person in my life who I’m most afraid of losing is right here next to me, so Deb and Michael can go fuck themselves and each other for all I care.”

“Uh, disgusting image, but I see what you mean,” Emmett says, with a mock shiver. “The bottom line, Honey, is that you three and Ben mean more to us than the days of glories past…”

“Me? But I’m…” Ben begins, only to be cut off by Justin.

“Family, Ben. You’re family. So now we just have a new dynamic, is all. The question is: should we tell her that we know all about her little tirade so that she can get used to the idea that she no longer has the toy soldiers in place to keep her son happy before we return to Pittsburgh? Or do we just wait for her to find out when we arrive? Of course if it’s the latter, we will all somehow appear unreasonable and ungrateful.”

“Do you really care how you’re perceived by her at this point?” Brian asks him.

“Fuck no, but that doesn’t mean that I want you all to suffer for my insolence should you choose to keep ties with her.”

“It’s not a factor for me, Sunshine. I’m at the point where I would actually dare her to try and justify her words. She can’t this time. As far as I’m concerned, she needs to find some other way to give her kid friends.”

“That would be way too difficult to do,” Ted interjects. “Most every inhabitant on the Avenue only put up with Michael because of you. It’s not that they were so scared of incurring your wrath should Michael have been upset, but because you’re their entertainment. It wasn’t just the tricking, or your interactions with Justin, but because there is a charisma about you that makes people want to be you, even if they don’t know or like you very much.”

“Well thanks, Theodore,” Brian says, sardonically but with that ever-present smirk on his lips.

Teddy snickers. “It’s the truth, Bri, and you know it. They either want to be you, want to be with you, or want to hate you. And it’s never done by halves. The funny thing is that they also know that with the exception of a select few, you really could care less. You’ve earned your respect from them, regardless of their feelings. It’s the same with Justin. So no, it doesn’t have anything solely to do with fucking, but by being successful despite your humble beginnings. The only reason Michael was ever accepted anywhere is because of you, otherwise he would have been shut out a long time ago. Contrary to their opinion, Deb’s popularity had nothing to do with it either, even though she would like to think so.”

“So what do we do about Michael?” I ask. “I mean, he’s still here, and I can guarantee that he’s not going to remain quiet.”

“That depends on all of you,” Bernard addresses us. Up until now, for the most part, the counselors have been quietly observing, but I think that’s about to change.

“What do you mean?” Justin asks.

“I mean that there are a couple of options here. Option A is that we send him home now, which is really what I want to do, but we’re not all in agreement on that front. Option B is to let him stay long enough for Ben to get his business back in the Pitts straight, and then boot his ass off the island. Or option C is that you all work on your relationships, and ignore Michael until you’re ready to confront him before he leaves. On the surface, Option C would be the wisest decision for a few reasons, but mostly because once everything is out in the open between all of you, even if Michael goes back home and tries his game of ‘Tattletale and Run’, you all will still be on solid footing since there are no major secrets left between you. I know that it’s what Melanie, along with all of the other counselors, would choose if we were in your positions.”

I look around the table, taking note of each man weighing Bernard’s words. On the surface, everything seems pretty cut and dry, ultimately culminating in when we deal with the little bastard. Part of me- a HUGE part of me, just wants his ass gone as far away from me as he could get at this moment. But then the more rational side of me is leaning towards the third option. God forbid Michael should arrive back in Pittsburgh and hear that Tino has been looking for me again before I have a chance to level with Ted about things. He would use it as an anvil over my head, or more to reality, he would tell Ted in such a way that would make Ted think I’m using again, and not just being tempted to the brink of sanity. I know that it’s a conversation that Ted and I need to have, but I would rather it be in our own time, not in Michael’s.

“Brian and I think Option C is the best one,” Justin says, echoing my own thoughts. “Although, I want him pushed off the island and drowned, I acknowledge that it isn’t an option.”

“Drew and I feel the same way. Who knows what story he would concoct if he’s back there while we’re here. It’s not that we’re afraid of what he might say; just that… well look at the mess we’re all in now because somehow we believed him,” Emmett says, and I know just what he means.

Michael has this whine quality to his voice that makes a person think he’s sincere when he’s anything but that. Justin and I are pretty much immune to it, so is Drew, but the rest aren’t. I know that even with the evidence of their own ears, they are still trying to come to grips with what they’ve heard, both from Deb’s mouth and from each other, about Michael’s machinations. I’m still reeling from what Brian disclosed about his child, and it pisses me off that while Brian, Lindsay, and Melanie were hurting, Michael was throwing a tantrum from having the toy of Lindsay’s feelings taken away. I wonder if Debbie knows just how much of a vicious cunt Michael really is. But then again, probably not since she called all the way down here to berate everyone for not sticking by Michael. Her brand of willful blindness should be entered into the DSM as a psychosis!

“So Ted, are you okay with Brian, Justin, and Drew’s reasoning for keeping Michael on the island a little longer? Are you, Ben?” Bernard asks, and I hear the resigned sigh from both men. “Be honest with yourselves and those of us here, especially you, Ben. You’re the one within the closest proximity to him.”

“I know,” Ben says quietly. “But as long as he and I have minimal dealings with each other, I will be okay with it. Thankfully, he is in the guest house behind the villa I’m in. The only thing I worry about is him finding allies among the staff to seek out the rest of the guys. We all know just how relentless Michael can be when he wants to cause trouble.”

“Yes we do, and we’re taking our own measures to minimize the risk,” Alex assures Ben. “Of course, nothing is ever foolproof, or in this case Michael-proof, but I think we’ll be alerted to any potential problems with him before they arise.”

We each nod, hoping that it will really be the case. Michael is a slimy, sneaky sonofabitch when he sets his mind to something. And there is always hell to pay when he doesn’t like or agree with something, but we can only hope that the whiny little mosquito’s wings will be clipped before he’s in full flight this time. Either way though, this is the most feasible option we have at this time, so we might as well make the best of it.

“So if this is settled, I think we should get down to the business of the missed messages,” Duke suggests. “Since Emmett was still in the dark about a lot of it, I think we should start there. In the meantime, I’m going to suggest, and I’m sure the others will agree, that you start to really listen to your partner. But not just with your ears, but with their body language. I’m noticing that all of you tend to close off when it’s something you don’t want to hear, but it’s like the walls you have built within yourselves have electrified fences guarded by starving pitbulls when a thought comes into your head that you don’t want to say. Internalizing causes much more damage than the hurtful message you may have wanted to deliver in the first place. So give your partner the opportunity to respond in a rational matter, instead of when the initial feeling has not only been suppressed, but it is now magnified. This is how people have been able to feel they have a say in what you do, where you go, and how your relationships function. If need be, take some time to write it down, and then speak even if you have to read it from the pages of your journal. The point is that you communicate by any means necessary. So tonight, go somewhere that’s not the villa, and pick one tough subject each to speak about. Then tomorrow, when you meet with your counselors, fill them in. Remember this is a judgement free zone for all of you.”

Barry says, “As for you, Ben, I want you to work on ‘Seconds’ tonight. I want you to really take note of Brian’s suggestion, and after you finish typing for night, write in your journal about what you felt when you were within that world. In fact, all of you write in your journals at some point before you fall asleep tonight. I think it’s a good starting point to have some substantial conversations from here on out.”

“And the Michael situation? What about that?” I ask, because I just need to know how far I can go. He normally becomes something that Ted and I argue the most about.

Bernard smiles at me. “You can write what you feel about it in your journal, but tonight is just about you and Ted. So avoid talking about him at all costs. He is usually a subject matter in which you both end up needing a referee by the time it’s over.”

I smile at him, because somehow Bernard knows just what I was thinking. I nod, happy that once we leave here, Michael will not be in our topic of conversation as he has been so many times before. So with that all squared away, I’m going to at least level with Ted a little bit about what’s been going through my head. I just hope he’s ready to hear it.