Justin leads the way out of the PATH Station in Hoboken. He thought he was okay with this. In a way he is. Lunch went fine just a few days before and that was a more intimate setting where Justin didn’t even have any allies. Brian may not even talk to him tonight. There will be plenty of people in his life there that are much more important to Brian than Justin is now. There are people who Justin is excited to see and even though those people are also friends with Brian, it will be fine. Even though Nathan is coming along and that means he and Brian will be in the same room, it will still be fine.

“Justin!”

“What?”

“Sweetheart, I have been trying to get your attention.”

“Sorry. Just thinking.”

Molly scoffs at that and Nathan stays silent. Justin doesn’t think Tucker knows the potential awkwardness of the situation.

“I was just asking you how many people are going to be there.”

“I don’t know, Mom. Twenty?”

“That’s a nice turnout. I really am looking forward to seeing Brian.” His mother gives a quick glance over at Nathan. “Because it has been so long and I grew fond of him. I saw him every so often while he was in Pittsburgh. I even asked him to lunch once.”

“You what?”

“It was a friendly gesture, Justin. Just to catch up. It was nice. I haven’t seen or heard from him since he moved though.”

Justin looks at Molly to see if she knows anything about this but she is looking away from him and twirling her hair and Nathan has an expression on his face that Justin won’t even try to begin to read.

“It wasn’t a big deal. I don’t know why I am bringing it up. I wish Debbie was coming in. We only get to see each other when she gets to come in and stay at Emmett’s to see one of your shows in the city. I talk to her usually at least once a month, but I hadn’t asked what her plans were. Is she feeling alright? Michael and his family are coming in.”

“She’s fine, Mom. She and Carl are spending Christmas with his daughter and her family this year. They live in Utah.”

“That should be nice. I am disappointed that I won’t see her though. I miss her. She has been a good friend.”

“I’m sure you will find someone to talk to.”

Justin stops his guests and shows them where Emmett’s townhouse is. They cross the street at the park and walk up the stoop steps. Justin takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. Milliseconds later, he hears deep barks and nails against polished wooden floors.

“Stella! Hey Stella! Get back, sweetheart! Be a good girl!”

Emmett opens the door with an extremely welcoming grin, one that only Emmett can pull off without coming off as too enthusiastic.

“Merry Christmas, everyone! I am so glad you could make it to my little feast. Come in, come in! Stella, sweetheart, sit! This is Stella. Justin has had the pleasure of meeting her, of course, but she loves meeting new people. She is quite friendly. Let me take your coats and you can go into the parlor and get yourselves comfortable.”

“Emmett, are you going to let us get a word in edgewise?”

Emmett realizes that he is babbling and stops to look at Justin. Justin smiles at him and gives him a hug.

“Merry Christmas, Emmett.”

“Oh, yes! It is a wonderful Christmas. It would be perfect if Teddy and Debbie could’ve made it but so many of the people who I truly love are here…” Emmett starts to trail off and get misty eyed, “Oh, don’t mind me! The holidays bring out the true queen in me.”

With that, Emmett walks down the hall and leaves them in the foyer.

“Is he always like that? He seemed a bit more…calm when I met him.” Nathan whispers to him, slightly nervous.

“He does seem a bit more Emmetty than usual, I will give you that,” Justin mutters back.

His mother looks at Stella oddly, then turns to Justin.

“When you mentioned Emmett had a dog, I didn’t imagine he would have…”

“A Bull Mastiff? I don’t think Emmett imagined it either. I am pretty sure he compromised with Drew and let him pick the breed while Emmett got to pick a name from A Streetcar Named Desire.”

“Well, that would explain it.”

“She is a sweetheart though,” Justin tells them as he scratches Stella behind the ears, “Aren’t you, Stella?”

Just as Justin finishes petting Stella, Emmett reappears with a, “I thought you all were behind me! Justin, you know your way around. Everyone is in the parlor.”

“Fuck,” Justin thinks to himself. He told himself he was going to be fine. He will be fine. That is such bullshit, this is so weird. He had to be around Eric and Brian as a couple for an hour and a half tops. Emmett expects them to stay here for several hours. He is going to have to mingle with them. Nathan is here and he will be expected to introduce him to Brian. He is so fucked.

“Look who’s here, everyone!”

As Justin turned the corner, he was greeted faces he hadn’t seen in the same room in years. Those faces held the most mixed emotions Justin had probably ever witnessed, as they greeted him all too enthusiastically while sneaking not so subtle glances in Brian’s direction. And then from all the way across the room, there was Brian himself, who completely poker-faced. Eric gave Justin a kind smile and a nod, then looked back over to his partner with a sympathetic glance and a pat on the leg. Brian broke eye contact with Justin and gave Eric a reassuring look to let him know that he was alright. Just as Justin was about to greet the group, a fourteen year old boy about his height was suddenly in front of him.

“Hey, Justin.”

Jesus, Gus was growing. He already had an inch on him and Justin was sure he would get as tall as his dad. He was looking so much like him, it was insane.

“Hey, Gus.”

Suddenly, Gus is hugging him and Justin hugs him back without hesitation. Over Gus’s shoulder, he can see Brian looking down at his feet and Eric pointedly ignoring the exchange as well. Everyone else in the room including Lily, who looks curious over the exchange, stays silent until Justin breaks the embrace.

“You’ve grown since the last time I saw you. At least four inches since August.”

“Just about. I’ve missed you.”

“You too, buddy.”

Gus walks across the room to stand next to his dad. He gives Brian a questioning look and Brian just pats him on the shoulder, letting him know that it’s all good. Just as Michael and Ben go over to Justin to greet him and Justin is about to introduce Nathan to the people he hasn’t met, he sees Brian walk over to his mother.

They are a little too far for Justin to make out what they are saying to each other, but his mother looks happy and emotional and reaches up to hug Brian around his neck. Lily, who has a hold of Brian’s leg, gets lifted up by him and introduced to Jennifer. While he can’t really hear what Brian and his mom are saying, he can hear Lily’s animated voice talking about what she got for Christmas.

“Hi, I’m Nathan. It’s really nice to meet you.”

Justin turns his head and sees that Nathan has taken it upon himself to introduce himself to Ben and Michael since Justin seems to have forgotten to do it. He really wishes he had horse blinders right now because he can’t even focus on one common task for more than five seconds before wondering what his mother and Brian are talking about, now joined by Molly. Brian does a double take when he sees her and he is pretty sure he hasn’t seen Molly since their rehearsal dinner.

“Justin?”

God damn it.

“Hey, sorry. You never got to meet Nathan, did you?”

Michael smiles at him, sort of confused. “We just did.”

“Yeah, of course.”

There is a bout of uncomfortable silence, then Ben speaks to Nathan.

“So Nathan, I heard that you were a musician.”

“Um, yeah. I’m in a band. We do okay, but we aren’t well known or anything.”

“Nathan also writes music for television.”

“That’s really cool! What shows have you written for?”

“Mostly shows filmed locally. I get some pilots here and there. Some shows get picked up and get longer run times than others. I mainly get commercial work.”

Michael’s eyes light up at that. “Oh, Brian is in advertising. Are you contracted by a certain agency that we may have heard of?”

“No. I mean, I have a talent agent, but I get hired as a freelance musician by different companies he sends my resume and work samples to. Usually they are short-term or open contracts.”

“I don’t know much about it, to be honest. I think Brian-”

Justin decides to cut in to change the subject. “Hey, Michael? Did I ever tell you that Nathan did the music for Squirrel Girl last year?”

Nathan goes red at that. Justin sort of feels bad, but Nathan doesn’t know how many points that will score with Michael.

“You did the music for Squirrel Girl? You wrote the theme song too?” Michael says, with admiration in his voice.

“Uh, yeah. But it got canceled after ten episodes, so it isn’t that big of a deal.”

Michael puts a hand on Nathan’s shoulder. “Don’t ever say that! I really think that Squirrel Girl never got the chance it deserved. Despite being a really obscure character in the Marvel Universe and only making a limited number of appearances, she was always really kick-ass. I was over the moon when they announced they were making animated series that revolved around her. It was a really great addition to the Saturday morning cartoon line-up. JR loved it and I have a few of the issues that feature her at my shop in Toronto. And, just for the record, the score was awesome. The theme song, how did it go?” And then, probably to Nathan’s horror, Michael began to sing.

”Who’s that nut with a tail on her butt?
It’s Squirrel Girl, Squirrel Girl!
Watch out for her sidekick or you’ll get cut-”

Alright, Justin feels more than sort of bad now. He knows how many times Nathan had to rewrite that song to make it appeal to the targeted eight year old audience. He also knows how much he hated the version that the show runners loved the most.

“Hey, Michael? I’m going to introduce Nathan to everyone else.”

“Okay, Justin. But come talk to me later. I have to speak to you about something important.”

Justin raises a questioning eyebrow but says nothing else as he leads Nathan away from Michael and Ben. Nathan looks around to see if anyone heard Michael’s rendition of Squirrel Girl, but they all seem to be engaged in conversations of their own. Justin will introduce Nathan to Brian. He will. But there are other people who haven’t met Nathan yet. Hunter hasn’t. Mel-no Mel met him briefly at one of Justin’s shows last year. The kids met him with Lindsay. So only Hunter, Brian, Eric, and Lily. And Drew’s grandparents and Cynthia. But Justin hasn’t even met Drew’s grandparents so why would they care? They are just sitting on the loveseat nodding along and pretending like they can hear what is being said to them anyway. It would probably be weird to introduce Nathan to Cynthia before introducing him to Brian. Seriously, where are Emmett and Drew? Do they expect Stella to be the hostess? It doesn’t matter. He can do this. Brian didn’t have a problem introducing him to Eric, so why should this be any different? He will just make his way across the room to introduce Nathan and Hunter is closer, so it just makes sense.

Justin approaches Hunter, who is standing a few feet away from him and talking to Mel and Lindsay. He can work his courage up this way. Hunter sees him and greets him with an eloquent, “Sup, man?”

“Hey, Hunter. How have you been?”

“Good, good. L.A. has been awesome.” Hunter tells him.

“Yeah, I enjoyed my time there a lot. You're working on Teen Wolf, right?”

“Yeah, man. I really like it. I dig the show too, surprisingly. Sort of has the style of a modern Buffy, but with a little bit of Japanese influences going on.” Hunter says.

"Yeah, I caught an episode of it and then started watching it this season," Justin tells him, "It's really well done."

As if they have a psychic ability to know where there is an opportunity to boast about their son, Ben and Michael come over with grins on their faces.

"Hunter actually is the assistant cinematographer now," Ben boasts.

"Even though he should be the head cinematographer since he has more awards than the other guy has" Michael says.

Hunter lets out a sigh, "Daniel has a lot of experience in television and television provides a steadier income and lets us switch up our styles depending on the theme and tone of the episode. I want to get more into that medium and Daniel is teaching me a lot. "

Maybe it's just Justin, but the way Hunter answers that makes it sound like he's had to explain the situation several times before.

"Steadier income?" Michael asks, "You don't need more money. You made-"

"Dude!" Hunter says, nudging his father, "It's not polite to talk about salaries."

"Oh, so now you decide to start being polite," Michael says while nodding.

"If we can't embarrass you and talk about your money, can we at least talk about your Independent Spirit Award?" Justin asks, feigning innocence.

“Yes, we were all telling Hunter how proud we were of him,” Lindsay says.

“He worked so hard to get where he wanted to be,” Melanie adds, "Climbed that ladder and made it his bitch."

“Christ, that was two years ago! And the only reason you guys care about that award is because I had to accept it on national television and try not to cuss." Hunter groans.

"Which you failed at doing," Justin gets in before deciding show Hunter mercy by getting the spotlight off of him, "Hunter, I don’t think you have met my boyfriend, Nathan. He works in television sometimes too.”

Hunter holds out a hand and Nathan takes it, “Hey, I’m Hunter. I heard you were a musician. That’s cool. I don’t have much of an ear myself. The guys that do the music on the show that I work for really enjoy their jobs though.”

“Yeah, it can be fun if you get work on a decent show.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. One of my first PA jobs was for Shit My Dad Says.”

“I don’t think I ever watched it.”

“You weren’t missing out, believe me.”

Hunter and Nathan kept talking and were actually hitting it off. He hoped that Hunter could be someone Nathan could have a conversation with in case the night did end up taking a strange turn. He didn’t want to break up their conversation, so he decided to back off and do his own thing for a few minutes.

He was going to go find Emmett and see if he needed any help, but he ended up running right into Eric.

“Oh I’m sorry, Justin! I didn’t pay attention to where I was going.”

Justin noticed that Eric spilled his drink on himself. He felt bad and tried to apologize, but Eric insisted that it was just water and that it was no big deal.

“How has your day been, Eric?”

“Pretty exhausting, actually. Christmas is fun and rewarding with a kid, but when your daughter is on the go all the time, it can be demanding. On top of all that, Brian woke her up earlier than usual because he was “bored.” I actually have his camera on me because I wanted to show Emmett when I went to help him in the kitchen just now. Want to see?”

“Oh, I uh-”

Before Justin could say much else, the proud dad pulled out a camera, found the video in question, and pressed play. As Justin watched the video, he felt like he had no idea who this man was anymore. He understood that people changed. He understood that it took some people longer to grow up than others. But this wasn’t the Brian he knew. Brian wouldn’t film his kid waking up at Christmas just to capture the look of pure joy and excitement that occurred. He probably wouldn’t be caught nearly buying out an entire Disney store either, going by the presents in the video.

Then again, that wasn’t completely true. Even with this pod person, he could still find the Brian who he had private moments with that were calm and playful. Brian did always try to work at making his friends happy and helping them out with the problems in their lives, even if he covered up why he did it later. He always showed a different side to himself around his son, even though he tried to emotionally distance himself for a while after he signed over his rights. This Brian may not hide his genuine happiness like he used to, but even before this Brian came into fruition Justin remembers seeing the open and unguarded expressions in the early mornings after they settled down from a night out and laid in bed together. He remembers genuine excitement about the wedding, before he began to think he was holding Justin back. This Brian was probably always there, lurking beneath the surface due to being stifled by his upbringing, his anger, his dominant masculinity, and his overall reluctance to expose that side of him because any negativity thrown his way would hurt so much worse. Justin saw the changes. They were changes he had wanted almost the whole time he was with him until they actually started to occur. He remembers being scared that it was Brian putting on a front just to make him happy. He loved Brian both ways, but he couldn’t be a man who was okay with his partner changing almost everything he originally stood for just to make him happy. He had good reason to think that because it was such a change from the Brian everyone else knew. But fronts don’t last for over seven years, do they?

“Are you becoming one of those annoying parents who force everyone they see to look at pictures of your child?” a familiar and annoyed voice calls out as the video on the camera finishes.

“You are the one who filmed the oh so magical moment.” Eric teases back as he shuts the camera off.

As Justin looks up, he sees that Brian is no longer talking to his mother. He had taken it upon himself to introduce himself to Nathan in the corner of the room by the wet bar. Brian walks away from Nathan, leaving him with a pale look of uneasiness on his face, and over to Eric to get his camera back. Eric half-heartedly tries to play keep away with it, but Brian gets it back and stashes it in his pocket. He finally looks in Justin’s direction and acknowledges him.

“Justin, pleasure seeing you here.” Brian then grabs Eric by the hand and pulls him away. Justin hears him asking Michael to keep an eye on Lily, and then Brian and Eric are out of the room and up the stairs.

Well, that was a change from a few days ago.

Justin needs a drink. Because even though Brian hasn’t been a part of his life for several years now, he is still versed just enough in Kinney to read his odd moods. That wasn’t only lust for his partner. That was an attempt to make Justin jealous, maybe even hurt him. In some small way, it is almost a relief to see him indulge his petty side. In a slightly bigger way, Brian’s method sort of worked when it came to the desired effect. But it is more familiar to the Brian he first met. It is almost reassuring to know that Brian is still technically Brian.

Justin makes his way over to the bar to mix himself a drink and Nathan is still there staring at Justin with lingering betrayal in his eyes.

“You shouldn’t have left me alone, Justin.” Nathan tells him, his voice low enough so only Justin would hear.

Justin sighs and replies, “I left you with Hunter. You were having a good conversation. Honestly, I was just going to go see if Emmett needed help in the kitchen but I ran into Eric and he showed me a video of Lily.”

“Well, while you were watching home videos, your ex-fiance took me to the side so he could interrogate me.”

“What? No, he didn’t.”

“He did. I thought it was going to be fine. He seemed a little high and mighty when he introduced himself, but okay enough. But then he kept asking questions about us and then just about me. I’m pretty sure he was judging everything that came out of my mouth. He did seem a little pissed that you’re dating a guy who got hired by one of his competitors to write the Arm & Hammer jingle though. So that was nice.”

“Was he a total asshole to you?”

“Well...no. He was just...I don’t know, invasive and a little rude.”

“Look, just count your blessings. Because he can be a real asshole when he feels like it. He is charismatic and really intimidating. He can be brash and really frank when it comes down to it. He can also be the most generous person in the world. But then he will just shut you out before you can blink…” Justin trails off at Nathan’s suspicious expression. “Look, if he starts being an asshole to you I’ll talk to him, alright?”

“You have barely said a word to him in years. How much of an effect can you have on the guy?”

Justin tries to answer that but he honestly can’t. “Just ignore him then, okay? He hates that.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I don’t...think...that Emmett...and Drew...would like us fucking in their guest...oh, fuck…” Eric moans out as Brian pounds into him from behind.

“Needed to...fuck your tight...little...ass!” Brian enunciates through his hard rhythmic thrusts.

“Oh god, Brian harder! Fuck me harder!”

Brian obliges and works up a quicker and more punishing rhythm. He is feeling close, so he reaches around Eric’s waist and starts to jerk his cock in time with his thrusts. As he feels Eric’s cum coat his fingers, he lets go of his orgasm as well. He collapses on Eric’s back due to the high and when he comes down from it, he gently pulls out of his partner and lays on the bed next to him.

Eric, still panting, says, “Don’t get me wrong, I love spontaneous sex almost as much as you do, but where did that come from?”

Brian shrugs with the reply, “I was horny.”

“It didn’t have to do with wanting to get away from certain guests downstairs?”

“Nope.”

“Okay, because you weren’t dismissive with Justin or anything.”

“I thought I was quite friendly.”

“Of course you did.”

Brian is silent and stares at the ceiling while Eric is on his side and staring at Brian.

“Brian, everything seemed fine this morning. You were actually in a really good mood, if I remember correctly. Hell, things even weren’t so bad when we had lunch with Justin. But today, you left that Nathan kid looking as intimidated as one of your new interns and practically acted as though Justin wasn’t there.”

“Whatever.”

As soon as Brian thinks the conversation might be over, Eric goes on to say, “Are you jealous or something?”

Brian can only sneer with a reply of “You know I don’t do jealous.”

“I know that’s what you usually say. Apparently you also used to say that you didn’t do love or relationships. You did that with Justin. And you did that with me.”

When Brian says nothing, Eric continues.

“You have become more and more open with me these past few years. I know you have your days where you pull away, take a few steps back, and act like a fucking dick, but days those have been farther apart lately. So talk to me.”

“It’s nothing. I promise you, it’s nothing. It was just me fucking with the new guy.”

“And Justin?”

“I said it was nice to see him. Listen, can we just drop the subject?”

“But you seemed fine this morning. You were happy.”

“I am happy.”

“Well, you are being really sassy.”

“Sassy, Eric? Really?”

“Brian, in all honesty, you are probably the sassiest stud I have ever met.” Eric huffed as he got up and put his clothes back on, “Help me straighten up the bed.”

“Flattening out the wrinkles in the comforter won’t get your cum stain out of it.”

“Damn it, we should have fucked in the bathroom.”

“Too late now. Maybe after dinner.”

After Brian gets his clothes back on, he walks around the bed and puts his arms around Eric’s waist. He nibbles his ear and kisses down his neck and shoulder, only to try to sneak a hand down Eric’s pants. Eric reluctantly swats his hand away.

“Stop. We are going downstairs. We have been up here for twenty minutes already.”

“Dinner won’t be ready for another hour.”

“We are supposed to be spending time with our friends.”

“They can wait.”

“It’s Christmas, Brian. Your kids are downstairs.”

That gets Brian to give up for now. He turns Eric around to face him, puts his hands on Eric’s cheeks, and kisses him. He ends the kiss but keeps Eric’s face in his hands.

“I want to tell everyone tonight.”

“Tell everyone?” Eric stops to think of what Brian is saying and his eyes light up in recognition. “You mean-”

“I want to announce that we’re engaged.”

“Brian, are you sure? I mean, Debbie isn’t here and she is like a mother to you. Ted and Blake aren’t here either and don’t try to say that it doesn’t matter, Kinney, I know you better than that.”

Brian lets out an aggravated sigh.

“We have all lived in different cities for years, Eric. As disappointing as it may be, it might be a long time before we get this many people under the same roof with us again. It is a good of a time as any.”

“This doesn’t have anything to do with Justin being here, does it?”

“No. This has to do with telling the people who I consider my family that an important thing that has happened to me. I want them to know.”

“Alright.” Eric says right before he gives him another kiss. “If you’re sure.”

“I have never been more sure about anything.”

As they head out into the hallway, the door opens from across the hall. Drew comes out and stands in the doorway. Behind him, the room is newly decorated with sky colored walls, a galaxy rug, a spaceship bed, and toy trucks and dinosaurs on top of the bookshelves. Drew clears his throat and looks to see if there are any more people close by.

“…Emmett wants to keep this quiet until dinner. I won’t say anything if you won’t.”

After that, Drew heads back downstairs. Brian didn’t believe him, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t like they were subtle when they snuck away. Eric nudges Brian and is grinning with excitement. Brian just shrugs and follows Drew.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hello, Emmy Lou. Do you require my assistance?”

Emmett turns his head to see Brian leaning on the counter next to him. He is pretty sure Brian is not serious about helping. But maybe he’s wrong because Hunter, who literally just walked into the kitchen, is told to “kindly fuck off for ten minutes, will you?”

“I know you don’t really want to help me with dinner, Brian.”

“Good guess. I already had to cook breakfast. Helping you would be overdoing it.”

Despite what Brian just said, he picks up a knife and starts cutting up an apple for the fruit salad.

“I also know you fucked Eric in one of the upstairs guest rooms.”

“What a surprisingly accurate claim! Did you keep in touch with Mysterious Marilyn once you moved out of the Pitts?”

“Mysterious Marilyn, Drew Boyd. Where does one stop and the other begin?”

“It is a philosophical question that we all must think of at one point in our lives.”

“And I know you know about the room across from the guest bedroom.”

“I did catch a glimpse of it.”

Silence.

Of course that is all Brian Kinney will give him.

“So, are you curious as to what is going on?”

“It is pretty self-explanatory, isn’t it? You are having a kid. Adopting, specifically. A boy, age ranges from 2 to 5.”

“Did you keep in touch with Mysterious Marilyn?”

Brian just raises an eyebrow and smirks but keeps on cutting.

“I’m so scared, Brian.”

“I know.”

Emmett looks around and makes sure nobody is coming in. He goes over and closes the door to the kitchen for precaution and then goes over to check the casseroles and the ham in the oven.

“We were going to adopt a baby, you know. Get approved by an agency and an expecting mother. We waited for months and months and got close last year. I didn’t want to tell any of you until it was an absolutely sure thing. Weird, right? Me, not getting overwhelmed with excitement and telling everyone as soon as we found out? I was just so scared that it would fall through. Turns out I was right. We got approved while the mother was already eight months along. I had one month to get excited and plan, but when she got here, the mother changed her mind. She fell hard for her daughter.”

Brian just nods for him to continue and for some reason Emmett can’t shut up.

“It is harder to get approved as a gay couple. A lot of expecting parents want a mother and a father to raise a baby. But Drew and I are really stable. We have a wonderful home. He has celebrity status. I know that eventually we could probably have a newborn if that is what we really want.”

“But it isn’t.”

Emmett shook his head. “At the end of July, Drew started volunteering at an organization in the city where children in foster homes go to meet and play with other foster children in their age groups on the weekends. They have indoor and outdoor activities. They’ll go to a park, sometimes to museums. It is a really good program. And you know that Drew is still a popular player and, of course, the kids went nuts for him. After two weekends of having so much fun, he easily convinced me that I should volunteer with him on the days I didn’t have an early event to plan for a client. I mainly just got meals together and read to the younger kids, but I loved doing it too. It was there we met Duncan.”

Emmett takes a deep breath.

“Duncan is only three but you may never meet another little boy who is more filled with life. He is so adorable. He has this perfect little round face, soulful brown eyes, the biggest smile, and the cutest dimples to top it off. He has been handed the shit end of the stick so many times in his short life, but he doesn’t let that get to him. He is playful and likes to tumble around. He loves trucks, trains, rocket ships, and he likes to pretend he is a dinosaur. He loves football and Drew became his hero the first time he laid eyes on him. He is definitely one butch little boy.”

“I had seen Duncan essentially acting as Drew’s shadow and had read to him during story time. When Drew came to me two months ago and asked if I would consider adopting a three year old instead of a newborn, I knew he was talking about Duncan. But I didn’t know Duncan like Drew did. So I made a point of trying to get to know him.”

Emmett laughs a little at this point, because it is so strange that he is unloading this on Brian Kinney of all people.

“The agency that handles Duncan’s case set it up so that Drew and I could go visit him in his foster home. They like to introduce a child to potential parents and have visits for at least a month or so to make sure everyone gets used to each other. His foster mother and father already had four other foster kids under their roof, two of them being younger than Duncan. It wasn’t possible for them to adopt Duncan, especially since they were adopting the oldest child and her baby sister already. So they were happy someone was interested in adopting him.”

“I knew right away Duncan and I will probably never have anything in common. But he is so sweet that I didn’t really care. He laughed when I couldn’t catch the football that Drewsie threw at me but it was a laugh that was in such good spirits that I was laughing along right with him. I started visiting him as much as I was allowed because I missed him so much on the days I didn’t see him. We even went to spend Christmas Eve with him and gave him and the rest of the kids he’s living with some presents. And, even though I don’t know anything about cars or trains or dinosaurs, he still wants to sit in my lap and fall asleep in my arms as I read a story to him and cries when I leave. He doesn’t even move in until the first week of January and he has already become the most important person in my life.”

Surprisingly, Brian is still there listening to all this and he clears his throat. “That tends to be how it works. It’s scary. I get it. But things sound promising. What’s the problem?”

Emmett sighs. He might as well say it if he has said this much already.

“It’s just that…he’s three. He is essentially just a baby who has been passed around to different foster homes for over a year. He is going to like anyone who shows him a little bit of love and attention, even if that person is completely different from him. What if-” Emmett breaks off and wipes his eyes, “What if this rough and tumble little boy grows into a young man who loves sports and cars and probably women and becomes so ashamed to have a dad like me?”

Emmett knows it is probably a hard fear for other people to grasp. He has always taken pride in who he is, so this vulnerability he has usually comes as a surprise. But he grew up with a father who was ashamed of him and brothers who absolutely hated him. They had known how different he was and were probably elated when Emmett ran away from Mississippi and never came back. He never felt masculine enough to father any child properly, let alone a son like Duncan. He hadn’t even considered it until somewhat recently because of those feelings.

“Well, for what it’s worth...”

Emmett prepares himself for one of Brian’s insults that end up being encouraging. Or one of Brian’s encouragements that end up being insulting.

“I think you’ll be a great father.”

He knew he would say someth-

Wait, what did he say?

“As long as you are good to him and try your best, he’s going to love you. Yeah, kids are hard but at the same time they aren’t. You don’t have to change every interest you have just to appease them. As long as you are spending time with them and you are encouraging them, they will appreciate you. Besides, no father creates a child’s dream room with everything his son likes for his own benefit. So don’t worry about not being a good father just because you like to put on a feather boa once in a while.”

Before Emmett can say anything, Brian continues.

“And hey, maybe you will rub off on each other. I mean, I knew shit about Disney Princesses and now look at me. I know all the words to every fucking song on that goddamn Frozen Soundtrack. I even have a playlist on my phone to have on hand in the car for Lily. By the way, I think your casserole is burning.”

Ending on that note, Brian pats him on the shoulder and walks out of his kitchen.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brian goes back to join the rest of the guests and freezes when he sees Justin and Nathan with Eric and Lily. Justin is squatting down so he is eye level with Lily as he hands her a wrapped package from his messenger bag. Brian can already tell it is a framed picture before Lily gets the wrapping paper off. Brian walks over to get a look at it. Of course Justin painted a princess in a castle to give to his kid. And to top it all off, he threw in a unicorn. He can tell that it was something Justin did within the last couple of days. As if seeing The Lion King on Broadway twice and having that sunshiney smile didn’t already make her like him.

Upon seeing the painting he made for her, Lily, in her always subtle demeanor, takes in a giant breath of surprise and hugs her new present while she squeals and jumps up and down. Over and over.

“Thank you thank you thank you! This is one of the best presents in the whole world! I will keep it forever and ever and hang it on my wall and look at her and tell her goodnight before I go to sleep and say good morning to her when I wake up and name the unicorn Chico-”

Eric puts his hands on Lily’s shoulders to keep her in place. “Lily, honey, I think he gets it.”

“Chico?” Brian asks, amused.

“After JR’s dead hamster, Daddy.” his daughter informs him as she bows her head slightly, probably recalling the tragic loss.

“Justin, it’s so nice of you to take the time to do this. She really does love stuff like this. You didn’t have to.” Eric tells Justin sincerely as Justin stands back up.

“I went out to buy Gus and JR presents when I found out they were coming and I didn’t want her to feel left out. I figured you and Brian had gotten her plenty of toys so I just painted her something. I wish I would have had more time to make it look a bit nicer.”

“If this is your work rushed, then I am sure the rest of your paintings are absolutely incredible.”

Thank god Eric hadn’t mentioned the painting of Justin’s they did have. Brian doesn’t think he could live that down.

“You know, a few of his paintings are going to be up for auction at the New Year’s Eve exhibit at his gallery.”

Justin turned his head to look at Nathan with a subtle expression that Brian intimately knew as, “Please shut the fuck up.”

“I’m sure they will get high bids.” Eric says.

“Justin, did you get around to asking Eric and Brian if they wanted to come?”

Brian didn’t know Nathan nearly as well, so he couldn’t read what exactly was going on with him. But he knew people in general enough to know that this inquiry probably stemmed from an earlier argument and he was just being petulant.

“Nathan, it’s short notice. I’m sure they have plans.”

“Everyone else here switched their plans around so they could come. I don’t see what the big deal is in asking.”

“Well, Brian’s assistant offered to watch Lily since she has a daughter just a couple of years older and we had plans to go out-”

“But we can always go clubbing another time.”

Eric looks at Brian in surprise. And then Brian, for only the second time that day, looks Justin directly in the eyes.

“We would love to come to your little party. If we are invited, of course. Nathan wants us to come. Do you not want us to come, Justin?”

Justin seems to be struggling for words, which Brian is sort of pleased about. However, he keeps eye contact with Brian and says,

“Of course you can come. 164 Bedford Avenue in Williamsburg. Take the L from Union Square.”

“I’m sure it won’t be too hard to find.” Brian says as he wraps an arm around Eric’s waist.

“Great, then I will see you there.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Brian considers saying “fine” again, so it is probably for the best that Michael steps in to try to break the tension.

“Oh wow! That’s a really pretty painting, Lily!”

“Thank you, Justin painted it for me. It’s so beautiful.”

“It sure is. Speaking of art, can I talk to you for a second, Justin?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Justin gets led away from Brian, Eric, Nathan, and Lily by Michael, he looks back one more time to find Brian staring back in his direction. Brian has one of those expressions on his face that makes him look like he is five seconds away from sticking his tongue out at him. Honestly, going by today, he wouldn’t be surprised if he actually did. He doesn’t know what he did today to deserve to be a target for Brian’s mood swings, but it isn’t like this is the first time.

He doesn’t know where Michael is pulling him until he ends up in the bathroom. Justin looks around at his surroundings.

“So what did you need to talk to me about that required the presence of a toilet?”

“You know, you are all so fucking confusing.”

“I’m sorry?”

“First, you and Brian break it off and don’t speak for seven years. And then you both run into each other on the street and decide to have lunch together, which is whatever, that’s your business. When I talked to Eric, he says that you all got along and that Brian, while he was a bit nervous, seemed to get through the meal okay too. We all thought that maybe we could all move past this and not have to censor what we say about one of you to the other. Especially mentioning what were up to in New York to Brian. We thought that we could start inviting you up to Toronto for the holidays instead of inviting you at odd times of the year. At the very least, we assumed everything would be fine for tonight but then Lindsay overheard Brian initiating a proverbial pissing contest with Nathan. But then Nathan goes ahead and invites Eric and Brian to your exhibit. I don’t know Nathan, but he came off a little as the jealous type so I was a bit surprised by that. And then there’s Eric, who has a patience that has to rival Ben’s, but even he was getting a little aggravated with your exchange with Brian just now.”

“Michael, what’s your point? Brian going off and having proverbial pissing contests and Brian being an ass are nothing new.”

“My point is that you both need to get over this shit and move on with your lives. Just put what you had behind you. You both have been avoiding each other but then you can’t concentrate on anything once Brian moves into your line of vision and you’re right, Brian has been acting like an asshole. And the thing is, he hasn’t acted like one in a long time. At least not around Eric. He can still throw out the underhanded insults, but he has calmed down with it a lot over the years. Eric makes him so happy, Justin. I was under the impression that Nathan made you happy too but what happened out there, as minor as it may have been, did not make Nathan or Eric very happy at all.

“Is that all you wanted to talk to me about, Michael?”

“Come on, Justin, don’t be upset.”

Justin takes a deep breath and takes his palm away from his eyes.

“Michael, I’m not upset, I’m just frustrated that I am the one being lectured here. I am trying. I painted his daughter a picture. I have had a few conversations with Eric. And fuck, I don’t want Eric to feel uncomfortable. Brian did a good job when it came to choosing him. He seems like a really great guy. And with Nathan, I know I made him feel uncomfortable by only giving him half my attention tonight. I feel bad about it. No doubt he will point it out once we leave. I would like to be friends with Brian again. I’ve missed him. But he has barely looked at me all night and probably just accepted Nathan’s invitation to make him, or to make me, feel uncomfortable. Smug bastard.”

Michael really looks at him at this point.

“Deep down, Brian will still be Brian, won’t he? If he can’t fuck the elephant in the room, then he will just avoid it. I didn’t mean to upset you, Justin. But you and Brian haven’t been exactly subtle today. I know he has been worse than you since he apparently grilled Nathan on everything from whether he was a bottom or a top, to if you paid for everything, and even on his birth year. I probably should have saved the lecture for him or not given one at all.”

“No. No, I know that conversation back there took a weird turn that Nathan probably wasn’t expecting. I’ll apologize to him. Fuck, I was kind of looking forward to seeing Brian tonight because I thought I might get to know him again and have him in my life, even though I was nervous about introducing him to Nathan. Stupid of me, right?”

“No, Justin. It’s not stupid.”

“We better go back out.”

“I actually do have something I need to talk to you about.”

Justin gapes, “You mean that lighthearted conversation we just had didn’t take care of that?”

“Nope. I got contacted by Red Giant Comics. They want to reprint the existing comics of Rage and reboot the series. With gay marriage legal in two-thirds of the U.S. and more allies than ever, they think that it could be a huge hit. They aren’t wanting to buy the creative rights or anything. We would make a good percentage of what they make off of Rage in any media platform. They just want the rights to publish and produce what we come up with or give the okay on. They want the two original creators on board. We could work mostly from home on the comics and meet them occasionally for meetings on where to go next. I told them I had to talk to you.”

“It sounds great, Michael. But I haven’t done anything like that in years. And Rage…”

“I know. But will you just think about it? Please? I understand if you don’t want to, but Ben and I could really use the money.”

“Okay. I’ll think on it.”

“That’s all I ask.”

Justin and Michael head out of the bathroom and bump straight into Emmett.

“What were you both doing in there? Did you both make a pact to go to the bathroom together always and forever?”

Michael and Justin both just shook their heads no.

“Alright...Well, I was just going to get assistance from our other guests. I need help carrying everything out to the dining room.”

Michael and Justin head to the kitchen and are floored by the amount of food Emmett has covering the counters. Emmett walks back in and they stare at him. “What?”

“There aren’t THAT many of us, Emmett. You didn’t have to overdo yourself like this.”

“Well, Michael, maybe you wouldn’t be surprised by how much food I was making if you had come in to help me once in a while like most of the others did.”

“You lived with me! You know how useless I am in the kitchen!”

“Hmmm...That’s true. I suppose I should thank you. You go ahead and grab the cranberries and Justin, you get the mac & cheese casserole.”

The three of them carried dishes into the dining room and put them down where Emmett told them to. The table was already set, so they went back to get more food, but everyone else had already grabbed something so they just turned around and followed them. When all the food was down on the table, Justin went to stand next to Nathan and reached over to grab his hand. Nathan just pulled it away which sort of hurt. But then, to Justin’s surprise, Nathan reached back over to take Justin’s hand and pulled him over to two of the chairs set around the very large table. His mother sat next to him on his right and Tucker was next to her. Molly went to sit by Nathan and across from Hunter and soon everyone had figured out where to sit. Brian, Eric, and Cynthia were sitting on the other side of the table and to Justin’s right and for some reason Emmett had a booster seat that Lily could sit in. To Justin’s relief, they weren’t close enough to really have an easy conversation with. When Emmett saw that everyone was sitting down before he cleared his throat to speak.

“I just would like to say a few things, being Miss Hostess of the evening and all. Oh, look at this. We never get to use this table. Drew, look how nice everyone looks sitting here! Now, I know it’s not Thanksgiving, but I just wanted to say how grateful I am to see you all here. It means the world to me that you came out to spend Christmas in our home. Brian, Eric, Lily, I am so glad you have moved so close by. Don’t let anyone tell you Jersey is too far away, because it’s not and you can come out to visit any time.”

“As all of you may have noticed, there are sealed envelopes on your plates. I haven’t designed a dinner theater game, although that would be so much fun so let’s keep that in mind for next year! It is just a small gift you to put on your fridge or in your albums. Go on, open them!”

Justin, like everyone else at the table, opens his envelope to find a picture of a small African-American boy with Emmett and Drew squatting beside him. The boy has his arms around their necks with a huge smile on his face and Emmett and Drew look just as happy. Everyone looks up, except for Brian, who keeps looking at the picture with a small smile. Lindsay ends up breaking the silence first.

“Emmett? Drew? ...Are you?”

“I gave you that because I want you all to have a picture of our son.”

Everyone around the table gets so excited and emotional. Justin thinks he even sees a tear in Drew’s eye. He glances over at Brian and sees that, while he looks happy enough, he doesn’t look at all shocked. And of course, Emmett is almost bawling at this point. It doesn’t take much to get him to cry, but Justin understands how emotional he must feel this time around.

“Okay guys, enough with the pats on the back and the tears. I am sorry to say you might not get to meet Duncan while you are all in because introductory period isn’t up until January 3rd, so he won’t move in until then. But the paperwork is through and everything is official. As soon as he gets settled in and used to the place, we will try to come up to Toronto to come visit.”

“Debbie is going to go nuts when she finds out.” Ben says to Emmett.

“I know, I am so excited to tell her. I already called Teddy and let him know this morning. But now that I have told you, let’s not have the food get cold. Let’s eat!”

All of the food that Emmett made is, as always, absolutely delectable. He really has outdone himself. Justin doesn’t talk much to Brian and Eric. They mainly keep any conversation between them dealing with passing the food. Most of what they all talk about is Duncan, who Emmett and Drew are all too eager to talk about. Since Gus is sitting on the right side of Brian, Justin can have a conversation with him a little better. They talk a bit about how Gus is liking high school and of course Penelope, who Gus talks about as though she is the most wonderful person on the planet. He is glad that he was able to keep in touch with Gus, despite not being a part of Brian’s life anymore. He loves that boy so much. He looks almost exactly like his dad. He is a teenager so of course he is going to have a bit of a mouth once in a while, but he is so innocent, curious, a bit more shy and sensitive than Brian, and doesn’t hide his kindness by dismissing it as though it is for his own gain. He wonders how Brian feels about Gus’s differences from him, but Justin can tell that every time that Brian speaks to Gus, he is very proud of his son.

After dessert, they are all helping Emmett clean up. They all gather in the kitchen to talk as they take turns washing the mountain of dishes that Emmett dirtied when he prepared the meal. Justin goes back to the table to get the table cloth so they can get it washed. He feels Brian’s hand pulling him into the foyer before he knows that it’s him.

“Wha-Brian, what are you doing?”

Justin ends up finding himself pushed against the door with Brian’s body practically flush against his and dilated eyes staring down at him. Brian is silent for a few seconds, releases Justin’s arms, and slowly backs away. Justin rubs his arm nervously as Brian keeps his eyes on him.

“Brian, did you need something?”

It takes Brian a few more seconds to speak, but when he does, his voice is barely above a whisper.

“I wanted to warn you, or give you some notice so you wouldn’t be too surprised, about something.”

“Brian, you have barely spoken to me all night or even looked in my direction. You acted like a dick to Nathan. What is so important to the point where you have to pull me away from everyone else and talk to me in a dark hallway?”

Brian’s expression becomes indignant and guarded.

“Bullshit, like you acted so fucking perfect tonight. Avoiding introducing your boytoy to me until I just went over to talk to him myself. Bet that made him feel really special. I didn’t hesitate inviting you to lunch to meet Eric.”

“What- Brian, what the hell? You acted like this because I didn’t introduce you to Nathan when we got here? Why does it matter so fucking much anyway?”

Brian shakes his head as if he’s trying to clear it. “It doesn’t. It doesn’t matter at all. But I’m about to make an announcement and, since things between us are obviously still strained after all this time, I am giving you an out so you don’t have to be in the room when I say it.”

“What-“

“When I go back into that room and rejoin all of our friends, Eric and I are going to announce that we are getting married. I thought you should know in case you didn’t want to see that.”

With that, Brian leaves Justin in the hall and goes back to the kitchen.

Justin is not going to get upset about this. He has no right. Brian has been with Eric for over six years. As long as Brian took to come around to the idea of marriage, it eventually happened. He knows he has no right to get upset over him moving on to pursue that with someone else.

He can’t move his feet though.

As much as he tries, he can’t. He wants Brian to be happy, but seeing him after all these years have dug up long buried emotions. He knows that if he witnesses it, then any small dash of hope that persisted over the years will be extinguished.

He knows that it could be obvious that he isn’t in the kitchen with everyone else. He knows, as he hears the muffled offers of heartfelt congratulations start to reach the hall, that Brian Kinney probably feels like he has won since Justin has shown how bothered he really is by staying out here. He has to go back in. He has to show some level of support in some way. He can pretend that he was in the bathroom or something and get the news from Nathan or Emmett. He has to ignore the heaviness in his heart and the fact that his eyes feel a little wet. As Justin takes that step, he feels his cell start vibrating in his pocket. He pulls out his phone and looks at the screen, but he doesn’t recognize the number. He’ll answer it anyway. It gives him another reason to put off reuniting with everyone else.

“Hello?”

“…Jus’n? That you?”

The words are slurred and the drunken voice takes a second to place, but as soon as he places it, he knows it so well. It was a voice that he knew every day of his life up to the point where it became hateful and disowning.

“Dad?”

“Heyyy, son.”

Justin is silent. Brian Kinney pulling him into a hallway to tell him he was engaged is routine compared to what is happening right now. There is no way Justin could have anticipated this happening tonight. Or any night for that matter.

“You there? Justin?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s…it’s good to hear your voice. Deeper than what it used to be.”

“How did you get my number? Did Molly give it to you?”

“No…no, she didn’t give it to me.”

“Then how the fuck are you calling me?”

“She visited me back ‘n Oc…October. Left her phone on the counter when she went in the other room. I found it on her phone an’ wrote it down.”

“What an honest thing to do.”

“I jus’…I wanted to call you and hear how you were doin’.”

“Like you care.”

“I do. I care now.”

“I don’t give a shit. It’s too late. Merry Christmas and don’t call me again.”

Just as Justin is about to take the phone away from his ear, he hears a whimpering sob on the end of the line.

“Justin…Justin, please….”

“What? What do you want?”

“I’m so sorry…I’m so fucking sorry.”

Justin leans against the wall with the phone pressed to his ear, his heart beating quickly in his chest. He stays silent as he listens to his dad cry, something he doesn’t think he has ever heard in his entire life. And even though he still hates the bastard, it still fucking hurts to hear him this way. He wishes it didn’t. He wishes he could hear this and feel nothing.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

It takes his dad a minute to control his breathing and compose himself enough for the quiet sobs to die down. He lets out a few shaky breaths, then finally speaks.

“I-I just wanted to hear you. I missed hearing you. I missed so much. I’ll leave you alone now.”

“Dad…Dad, you aren’t going to do anything stupid, are you?”

“No. No, I’m just going to head to bed early. I’m sorry, Justin.”

Justin is about to suggest he drink some water and eat something before he goes to bed, but he hears a click on the line. And if Justin couldn’t move before, he definitely can’t move now.

At some point, he hears a door swing open and the light comes on above him. He can see Nathan with an annoyed look on his face in his peripheral vision.

“Justin, seriously, what the hell? You’ve been gone for almost half an hour! What…hey, what’s wrong?”

Suddenly, Justin finds himself sobbing with deep gasping breaths and feels tears spilling from his eyes. Nathan doesn’t even know what happened, but even if he does think it is about what Brian announced on the other side of the house, he can’t ignore Justin like this.

Justin sees Nathan step in front of him and feels his arms pull Justin against him. Justin all but collapses face first into Nathan’s chest as his sobs hit him full force. He clutches onto Nathan and just fucking bawls like a baby.

“Hey, hey shhh…it’s alright. I’ve got you. It’s okay, Justin. Tell me what’s wrong? You are scaring me so much right now. Shhh, it’s gonna be okay. Whatever is going on, it’s going to be alright.”