“Apartment hunting in New York is not as interesting as I thought it was going to be.” Eric thought to himself, as he stepped out of the brick building on Houston St.

He thought it would be easier since they had a larger budget than many couples, but they were looking to buy and both he and Brian were going to be pickier about it. It had been Brian who had covered a couple of places in the Upper East and West Sides yesterday and Eric had taken Lily to see the Lion King. They were going to a place in the West Village that was just advertised a few hours ago tomorrow morning. In all honesty, they should have seen them together to begin with, but there were so many things going on for young children due to the holidays and they wanted to Lily to get acquainted with all the city had to offer, since she was uncomfortable about leaving Chicago. It also made it so they didn’t have to carry her around and wear her out by putting her through adult things just a few days after moving their stuff into the sublet apartment they were living in. So it was his turn to see the apartments today. This one in Soho, one in Tribeca, and two in the Financial District, one in Tribeca. They were all fine and very Brian with their sleek modern look and open floor plans (except the bedrooms because they both learned quickly that a small child can be a real cock blocker) but he didn’t feel right about any of them and neither did Brian, despite being pretty adamant about wanting to stay in Manhattan.

When he gets the contract and designs a building or a house for a client, he is known for modern floor plans, bold colors, angled ceilings, and the works. They are similar to the downtown apartments he viewed. But he wanted something a tiny bit more traditional for Lily. They didn’t need a suburban home or anything, but a foyer would be nice. More separation in between the rooms and having an apartment they could actually move around in and have their own space in would be a plus too. Brian of all people knew that Lily was, endearingly, a hyper little shit. In Chicago, he found her on top of the island in the kitchen hanging off the pots and pans above the stovetop. Brian tried to hide it, but he was livid. “What if she managed to turn one of the burners on and she just let herself hang over the fire and burn slowly?” he had said, “It would have been a nightmare.” And there hadn’t been a stool or chair in sight. Eric himself doesn’t know how that is even possible. She still won’t tell them how she did it. But while Eric thinks having a bigger room, more space to play in, and moving into anything other than a large studio may be good for Lily, Brian thinks she will manage to sneak out of sight and jump out a 12th story window.

He wasn’t under any illusions that a bigger place would keep her out of trouble and keep her from breaking stuff. She was a three year old, or three and a half, as she insists on everyone knowing. But he wanted a place they could build a real home in. Both of them were doing quite well. Brian was spending more than he had in a while, due to buying out a floor on Madison Ave for Kinnetik to expand in, but they had met when both of them were quite established within their careers already and finances had never been a problem for the two of them in the last six and a half years they had known each other. Things on pretty much all fronts had been good. Brian, as frustrating as he can be sometimes, was a wonderful partner to him and a doting father to Lily and Gus.

Eric knew right from the beginning that he had been lucky when he came to Pittsburgh to design and oversee the construction of The Gay and Lesbian Youth Center of Pittsburgh. He was contacted by Brian by email with praise on his previous work and a passionate explanation on what he wanted to do. He wanted a place for teenagers who identified as LGBT or even just questioning to have a place to go where they could feel safe and not judged. He wanted counseling services for the kids so that they could become more confident and for parents who were struggling to grip with their child’s identity, regular healthy and substantial meals for visitors to have, rooms for teens who had been kicked out to stay in until they work things out for them, tutoring services in case they had missed school due to bullying or being on the streets, extracurricular classes to encourage the kids in their talents and interests, an entertainment room and a small library so they could socialize and get books out to read. Eric had struggled with his sexuality throughout his childhood and even into his twenties and he wishes there had been a place like this for him seek refuge in.

When he finally did get a boyfriend at 25 and let his parents know, it can be said that they were not happy about it and his relationship with most of his family has been cordial and distant at best ever since. He had experimented a few times with men after he moved to D.C. for school but only committed to the occasional woman, until Joshua. They didn’t have too much in common, but he had dated Joshua for over a year. Then he found out he was cheating on him with a married woman. That had just confused him because Joshua’s flame burned pretty bright. But when his sister let that slip to his parents, they pleaded with him to get over this phase because Joshua obviously had and if someone like Joshua could, then why couldn’t he? So the idea of a place that actively helped teenagers meet other people their age like themselves and tried to work with their families into being more accepting really made him want to work on this with Brian. He moved down for what was supposed to be for four months. Things with Brian started up in the first six weeks within meeting and he stayed for three years before they expanded Kinnetik.

Eric thinks he has given Brian and Lily enough time and he is honestly starting to feel his stomach rumbling at this point. He gets out his phone and texts Brian:

Hey! Went to see the apts.
All looked nice but idk about buying.
Still think we should look in
Brooklyn Heights and Cobble Hill.
Neither of us are too far from Chelsea
Want meet in the middle and go to that
sandwich place for lunch?

Eric waited for a minute and received a text back.

Yeah, that sounds good.
Be there soon. I love you.

It wasn’t as though Brian had never said the words before. He had several times, but it was rare enough that it always put a stupid grin on Eric’s face and gave him a fluttering feeling in his stomach. He was about to text back an, “I love you too <3” but his phone vibrated again with another text from Brian.

Ran into Justin. Lily invited my ex-fiance to lunch
so he could meet my current one. You.

And then his phone buzzed again.

You can top tonight if you want.

At least he gave him that nice sentiment.

Eric knew Brian had only one other actual boyfriend before him. He knew that Brian had fallen hard for the young man, even though it went against his no repeats rule he had in his 20s. He also knew that had gotten his heart broken just a couple months before he met him and Brian had given him whiplash when it came to wanting to go out and spend time together one minute and pushing him away the next in the early stages of their relationship. He knew that his first love was an artist doing quite well for himself and he knew that Brian had bought one of his paintings anonymously after they moved to Chicago. He didn’t complain about it. He understood that Brian needed something to remember him by and he could even admit the painting was fantastic. He felt some light jealousy but kept it to himself. And when he agreed with Brian that Kinnetik needed to expand to Manhattan, he was too worried about uprooting Lily and his own career (it is daunting to build in a city that is already taken up its space with buildings) to really focus on that he even knew Justin Taylor lived in New York as well. He just hadn’t expected to be meeting him so soon.

So as Eric looked down at his phone and tried to sort out what he felt when he thought about who Justin Taylor was to his fiancé, he typed out a message and flagged down a cab.

Can’t wait.