“-And I just think that Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is one of the imaginative films of all time. Have you seen it?”

Justin stares at his date for a second before shaking his head, “No. Sorry.”

Bernard smiles, “We should watch it together someday.”

Justin forces a small smile as Bernard pushes his glasses up on his nose and starts speaking about the making of Donnie Darko. Justin tries to listen, he really does. But he can’t see what Carmen was thinking when she said, “Oh, I’m working with this guy and I think you two would be a good match. Can I set you up? Please?”

To get her to lay off, he said yes and met Bernard in Union Square for lunch. They went to The Coffee Shop, a diner across the street that Justin has had mixed feelings about for years because it wasn’t a fucking coffee shop. It was a diner. With expensive fries.

“...And that’s why the whole point of Donnie Darko is that tangent universes do exist,” Bernard finishes passionately.

“Right, of course,” Justin answers right before the waitress approaches their table, “Oh, there’s our food.”

A southwestern burger with fries for you,” she says to Justin as she puts his meal down in front of him, “And a chicken salad for you!”

Bernard smells his meal and smiles, “Mmm...heavenly.”

The waitress handles the weirdness a lot better than Justin does, who covers his eyes with his hand, and says, “Well, we aim to please! Let me know if there’s anything else I can get for you two!”

She leaves Justin alone with Bernard after that, which he does think is kind of neglectful. But Justin knows he has to suck it up. Maybe he should look towards his own faults. He knows he can be a judgmental bitch sometimes. Take here, for instance. Bernard has shown nothing but kindness towards him since they met in Union Square 45 minutes ago. The man is passionate about film, which is good since he is a film editor who is moving up in his career and actually getting decent work. Carmen says Bernard wants kids. He’s only a year older than Justin so their wants in life might be very similar. If Justin gave him a chance, he’d probably really like the guy.

But he smells his food. Like, inhales it. Maybe if Justin were 19 years old, he’d think Bernard just really appreciates life and all that comes with it. But Justin is 32 years old and all he can think when the man savors the scent of his chicken salad and tells his waitress how heavenly it smells is that Bernard’s fucking weird.

But Justin’s not a complete asshole. He stays through dinner and gives away the minimum amount of information about himself to keep things from getting completely awkward. By the time they are finished and walking back into the square, Bernard turns to look at him and grins.

“Still up for that dessert spot in the West Village I told you about?” he asks Justin, “I’m telling you their crepes are delicious and huge. We can get one to share.”

Justin rubs the back of his neck, “Actually, that burger filled me up. And I have some errands to run. Grocery shopping and whatnot.”

Bernard bites his lip and nods, “Alright. I could give you a hand if you want.”

“I’m good. But thanks.”

Bernard huffs out a laugh, “You know, if you’re just not that into me, then you can say so.”

Justin sighs. It’s the first moment throughout the date he’s felt actual guilt.

“Sorry.”

Bernard shrugs, “It’s fine, Justin. Good...Good luck to you, yeah? Maybe we’ll see each other at one of Carmen and Liam’s get togethers.”

“Yeah, of course,” Justin answers before meeting Bernard’s eyes, “...And good luck to you too.”

Bernard gives him a sad smile before waving and heading back to the train.

Feeling a mixture of relief, guilt, and the ever present numbness he’s felt for months, Justin walks across the street. Despite wanting to get out of his date, he really was telling the truth when he said he needs to go grocery shopping. The summer had brought the gallery a lot of visitors and business and he had been several places in and occasionally out of the country to display his own work. He had often been too tired to cook, opting for takeout or microwaveable meals instead. While he would be painting new pieces, he doesn’t have another show outside of New York City until the middle of October. He also hired Lola full-time since she was only taking one class at NYU spring semester to finish her degree. So with two people assisting him run the gallery, along with a security guard on each of the three floors and a new intern coming in the fall, his presence isn’t as integral.

In a way, it is sort of bittersweet. He had renovated it and opened it pretty much on his own a little over a year ago. He had a couple of investors, mainly collectors who had taken a keen interest in his work. However, he was the sole showrunner and still is. But Max has proven himself wise and worthy when it came to running the books and organizing the artist information. Lola is a good saleswoman and has brought him some great artists on her scouting adventures. If they were still with him for another couple of years, he’d probably offer them partial ownership. They deserved it.

So, with a lot more free time under his belt, he would like to start eating healthier again, start cooking more. His apartment has a fantastic kitchen but the shelves have been more or less empty for months. He always loved to cook. It makes him feel better. But with the funk he has been in, it has been hard to find the initiative to fill up his fridge only to cook for just one person. The whole bachelor situation doesn’t seem like it is going to change any time soon though. He may as well try to become more responsible and healthy in the process so that he can try to feel better about it.

He would usually never go to Whole Foods on a Saturday afternoon. The idea of the crowds and the lines should be enough to scare off any sane person but he wants to buy quality food, the kind of stuff that entices him to cook something in the first place. He’s also in the mood to browse and that’s pretty easy to do at a place that has three huge levels.

It still doesn’t stop him from feeling like he needs to take a breath before going in. The place is pretty packed. Some areas are better than others but this is not something that he faces at the store he usually goes to in Williamsburg. He feels for the employees. He can’t imagine working this crowd. But maybe he’s one of the lucky ones or maybe the manager can tell he’s not a regular on the weekends. She approaches him with a smile and asks him what’s on his list so that maybe she can give him a little guidance when it comes to the best way to go about getting what he needs. Relieved, he tells her the major things he is looking for as well as some specialty items. He feels sympathy for her when an employee comes up to her to say that a four year old girl wandered off and her father is absolutely frantic.

“Will you excuse me?” the manager says sweetly as she gets her radio out, “Tom, Susan. Go over to the Loss Prevention room to help Chuck man the security cameras. A little girl wandered off and should be somewhere in the store. Dad’s on the east side of the second floor. If we can’t spot her in ten, we’ll have to do a shut down.”

“Roger that,” a female voice answers over the walkie.

“Roger,” a male voice says soon after.

“Josh, go downstairs and give the description the dad gave you. I’ll go talk to the father. What is his name?”

“Brian. Brian Kinney.” Josh informs her as Justin feels his heart start to pound in his chest.

Shit. Shit.

By the time he snaps out of it, the manager is out of sight. He wants to follow her, check up on Brian, to be there and maybe help in some way. But, with two sets of escalators and worrying like hell over Lily, he doesn’t know where to start.

More or less blindly, he goes over to the set of escalators on the right side of the building. If he can’t spot Brian from there once he gets upstairs then he’ll know that he’s either on the other side of the second floor or has followed the manager somewhere else.

And it’s just by pure sheer luck that, out of all the noise in this fucking place, he hears someone crying.

Looking around, he sees no one, so he goes beside the escalators, realizes it’s getting louder and finds a little girl in a yellow sundress and black hat crying loudly against the wall. Even before he sees the black curls touching her shoulders, he immediately knows it’s Lily.

“Lily?” Justin asks, concerned and so fucking relieved.

Lily lets out a terrified and defensive cry, turning to face him and taking a step back. Shit, she’s so freaked out.

Justin crouches down to Lily’s level and holds a hand out, “It’s okay. You know me. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Lily blinks a couple of times before wailing and rushing into Justin’s arms. She clings to his neck and sobs into his shirt, wetting it in the process. Justin wraps his arms around her and picks her up as he stands at full height.

“Shhh…” Justin comforts, “It’s alright. You’re okay.”

“I c-can’t find m-my Da-Da-DADDY!” Lily sobs hysterically, “He...He’s gone!”

“He’s not gone, sweetie,” Justin whispers into her ear, shifting his arm under her bottom to pull out his phone.

He finds Brian in his contact list, presses the call button and lets it ring but it goes to voicemail. Sighing, he tries again and it only rings once before Brian undoubtedly declines his call and it goes to voicemail once more, all while Lily keeps howling.

So he texts him. His explanation is a little lengthy, but he types the message quickly and hopes Brian will get it before he puts his phone away.

I’m at Whole Foods and think
I found something of yours.
Know you have to be freaking
but I found Lily on the first floor,
crying behind the escalator.
Meet you in front of them?
They’re the ones by the bread

Going around to the front of the escalators with a small child in tow, he waits several feet in front of them for a few seconds, staring at his phone while he rubs Lily’s back in an attempt to calm her down. If anything, he’ll just go over to customer service with her and they can get a hold of the manager.

But before he can weigh the options too much, his phone buzzes in his hand and lights up.

Brian:
Be right there.

And soon enough, he sees Brian running down the escalator, pushing people out of his way. The employee was right when he said that Brian was frantic. From the looks of his current hairstyle, he’s been gripping his hair in most likely fear. He’s pale with worry and looks almost sick. Justin feels awful for him and tries to put Lily down so that she can see him but she’s clinging too hard for him to even budge her.

“Lily,” he prompts her gently, “Your daddy is almost here. Look.”

Lily sobs and turns her head when Brian is about six feet away. Justin is able to put Lily down at that point and, with her arms outstretched, she runs over to her father crying and he immediately picks her up and holds her tight, breathing heavily and biting his lip before an angry expression forms and he makes her face him.

“What have I told you about wandering off?” he snaps harshly as his frown lines deepen, “Never EVER do that again, do you hear me?”

“I-I did-didn’t mean t-to!” Lily sobs out, “A bunch of p-people were ev-everywhere and I ac-accidentally let go of your h-hand! I was trying t-to find y-you and I could-couldn’t! I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry, Daddy!”

Lily is more hysterical than ever as she collapses onto her father’s shoulder and sobs deeply. Brian lets out a shaky sigh and turns away from Justin for a few seconds, as if he’s trying to collect himself a little as well, before turning back around.

“Shhh...you’re alright now. It’s okay,” he tells his daughter gently as he rubs her back and clears his throat as he turns to look at Justin.

“Thank you,” Brian tells him gratefully, “God, Justin. I don’t know what else to say. She was barely missing for 10 minutes but…”

“I know,” Justin answers after Brian trails off, “I’m sure I would be freaking out too. I was scared for her when I heard the manager say that you were looking for her.”

Justin stands there silently as Brian tries to get Lily to calm down once more.

“I-I d-don’t like it when you use your s-scary voice, Daddy,” Lily cries, “I l-like your daddy v-voice.”

Guilt washes over Brian’s face, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I sounded harsh, Lily. I didn’t mean to. You just scared me. A lot.”

Lily hiccups and straightens up to look at her father, hands on his chest, “I-I was scared too. I th-thought I was nev-never going to see you again...”

Lily lets out another cry, hanging her head, and Brian pulls her back in and lets her rest on his shoulder once more.

“Shhh…” Brian comforts again before turning to Justin, “I’m going to take her outside. Maybe across the street to sit down for a bit-”

“I need to g-get my in-ingredients!” Lily chokes out, taking gasping breaths with her words, “I need them to pl-play Sou-Sous Chef!”

Brian sighs as Justin looks at them bewildered.

“It...It’s this game Eric made with her,” Brian throws out as an explanation, “It’s messy and she loves it.”

“I-I’m a good chef,” Lily whimpers, tears still falling but not as quickly, “I n-need my ingredients.”

“Do you remember where you left them?” Brian asks.

Lily points at the escalators, “Behind the es-escalters.”

“Alright. We’ll go look and see if they’re still there,” Brian tells her calmly.

Lily sniffles then gestures to Justin, “Justin has to come too. I don’t want him getting l-lost.”

Brian looks a little surprised but nods, “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Justin hesitates but follows the two behind the escalators. Luckily, the small basket is still there, waiting by the wall. Brian bends down to pick it up, still keeping Lily on his hip. Justin suspects Brian won’t be putting her down for a while.

Lily takes the basket from Brian’s grip, staring down at it as she holds it in front of her. She then looks at Justin and extends the basket to give him a better view.

“These are some of my in-ingredients, Jus,” Lily hiccups, “I’m gonna make a n-nice dinner for my daddy.”

Justin smiles and succeeds in not laughing when he looks down at the canned ground beef, granola bar, red onion, fruit snacks, and chapstick, “That’s really impressive, Lily. I didn’t cook until I was 11 and that was usually just to help my mom or dad.”

Lily sniffles and looks down at her basket, “I do it all by myself. Papa is my assistant most of the t-time but he’s not h-here. So Daddy has to be my assistant. He’s the cameraman most of the time.”

“The cameraman?” Justin asks, glancing at Brian.

Brian surprisingly blushes before shrugging, “It’s something Eric wanted me to do when he started this with her over the summer. For memories, I guess. Then he wanted me to edit it into this short because she wanted a ‘cooking show like they do on YouTube.’ I’m better at that kind of stuff than he is. But then he posted it and a bunch of people liked it.”

“Awww,” Justin can’t help but coo, “I wish I had seen it. I must have missed it on my newsfeed or something.”

“He just posts them in a group,” Brian admits, “He mentioned to me that I should add you but I’m not on there much and forgot about it...I’ll add you when I get home.”

Justin shrugs but can’t help but smile and Lily nods her head vigorously.

“You have to say yes, Justin,” Lily tells him, tears almost gone, “Papa calls it Lily-isms. It’s because it’s about all the funny and smart things I say and do.”

“It sounds like a wonderful group,” Justin says to her as Brian rolls his eyes, “I will be sure to accept an invitation when it comes.”

Lily nods her head seriously before turning to her father.

“Daddy?” Lily asks softly as she stares into his eyes, “I want to invite Justin for my dinner. He saved my life and can film us play Sous Chef.”

Brian looks at Justin apologetically, “It’s up to Justin. But he probably has a lot of important stuff to do and wants to get his groceries home. He might want to make his own dinner.”

“But fun’s more important than all of that stuff,” Lily argues, “And I make good food! He has to come. He just has to!”

Justin sees Brian cringe before he says, “Justin is a picky eater, Lily. His palette might not be sophisticated enough for your meals.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Lily states seriously, “But he has to come. He saved my life.”

“I can come,” Justin interrupts before Lily lets out a cheer, “I’m looking forward to it actually.”

“What about your groceries?” Brian asks, looking down at Justin’s basket.

Justin shrugs, “If you have room, I can store them at your place and bag them back up when I leave. Or I can just get them later at a place closer to my apartment.”

“See, Daddy? Justin wants me to cook for him. I’m a good cook!” Lily informs him, yet again.

“Alright. If he wants to risk it,” Brian comments vaguely, “Have anything else you want to poison us with?”

Lily glares and kicks her feet to be let down, offended that her father would say such a thing but Brian doesn’t budge. With a put-upon sigh, Lily nods her head.

“Yes, six more things.”

Brian raises his eyebrows, “Six? That’s specific.”

“Well, it’s what I need!” Lily insists, “And you need to go that way for them. Come on, Justin!”

The three of them end up standing in front of the rice and grains. Brian finally puts Lily down, even though Justin can see that it almost pains the man to do so. The little girl paces back and forth, humming as she considers what to get. Finally, she picks out a whole wheat quinoa and grins.

“This is just what I need for my recipe!” Lily exclaims as she tosses it into her father’s basket, “Now, come on! Let’s go over there!”

Brian reaches over a grips onto her hand as they make their way to the cheeses. Lily gasps when she sees a HUGE wheel of cheese and starts jumping up and down.

“That’s what I need, Daddy! That’s what I need for my recipe!” Lily squeals as she points.

“No,” Brian tells her pointedly, leaving no room for argument, before pulling a small block off the refrigerated shelf, “Here. You can get this. It’s the same type with the same pretentious brand.”

“But I need more than that,” Lily argues.

“No you don’t. This will go a long way. Trust me on that, okay?”

“But it’s my recipe,” Lily whimpers.

“But it’s my money,” Brian taunts.

Lily hangs her head and sighs before perking up, “Okay, that’s fine. I just need to get whipped cream and chocolate and then we’ll be good to go.”

“You’re making dessert for us too?” Justin asks her.

Lily shakes her head, “No. I’m putting them in my soup too.”

Justin gulps as Brian smirks before the man picks her up to pick out a bottle of Reddi Whip. As she is picking out the right bottle to have with her meal, Brian leans over to whisper into Justin’s ear.

“I gave you an out, Sunshine. You should have taken it. Prepared to have a gag inducing meal.”

Justin smacks him on the arm and has a grin in place as Lily explains that she will spray at LEAST half the can into the soup.

After Lily gets some chocolate and a few extra things along the way, they stand in line for what seems like ages before checking out.

“Justin, did you know that my daddy snores?” Lily asks as Brian looks horrified, “It sounds like this.”

Lily starts to make wheezing snorty sounds as Brian glares down at her.

“Did you know that, Justin?” she asks again once she finishes her interpretation.

“I did. He’s been like that for years,” Justin tells her without thinking.

Lily gives him a strange look, “How do you know?”

Justin sends an apologetic and somewhat panicked look towards Brian and the man luckily distracts her.

“Lily, help me put your groceries on the counter,” Brian interrupts.

The task succeeds in taking Lily’s mind off of what Justin said as she talks all about cooking and what she likes to cook with to the cashier as Brian swipes his card. The young man nods along, not seeming sure what to say other than, “Oh. That’s nice.” But that seems to be enough for Lily since she nods enthusiastically and says, “Yes! Yes, it is! You should come by sometime!”

“Stop inviting everyone over for dinner,” Brian murmurs as he takes a hold of her hand and lifts the purchased fabric bags packed with their groceries.

“I can’t help it!” Lily insists, “I’m just really nice!”

Brian laughs at that as he waits for Justin and the three of them head out together.

“You taking the 4/5 or the R?” Justin asks as soon as they arrive at the station.

“The 4 and 5 come more quickly,” Brian answers while he gives his card to Lily to swipe. It takes her a few tries, but the gate eventually clicks and they go through the turnstile together.

“Hurry up, Justin!” Lily exclaims as she gestures with her hand, “I don’t want you getting lost!”

Justin laughs as he goes through, “I’ll try not to.”

Lily waits and surprisingly holds out her hand for him. Justin glances at Brian right then to see that he has a soft look on his face. Guarding it once he must realize Justin’s caught him, he clears his throat.

“Ready?” Brian asks, looking at the two of them.

“Ready,” Lily confirms, grabbing Justin’s hand in the process, “Don’t let go of my hand, okay? You’re short too and you’ll get lost.”

Justin tries not to feel offended at that, reminding himself that Lily is four years old.

All Brian does is laugh all the way to the train.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ice Cream!!!” Lily squeals as she sees a Mr. Softee parked outside the house.

“It’s like he knew we were coming back,” Brian mutters but puts the groceries on the stoop and gets his wallet out.

“What do you guys want?” Brian asks them both.

“I want,” Lily starts, getting down to business, “A choco taco. AND a twirly ice cream with chocolate sauce all over it.

“One or the other, Lily,” Brian sighs, as if this is a regular occurrence.

Lily pouts but nods sadly, “I would like the Choco Taco, Daddy.”

“Good choice,” Brian mutters before turning to Justin, “And you?”

“I don’t need anything, Brian,” Justin snorts.

Brian looks at him pointedly, “Believe me, Justin. You do.”

Justin tilts his head, confused but orders something off the special menu, just to amuse Brian and Lily really. He’s lucky the guy knows what he is talking about and makes him The Carlos. A cone that is filled with chocolate ice cream and dipped in oreo crumbles, before being topped off with vanilla ice cream which is then dipped in chocolate sauce. Lily seems incredibly impressed with his cone before chattering away about her cousin Carlos and how much he gets on her nerves with his crying since he’s literally an infant.

“But I love him. SO MUCH,” Lily insists, still staring at the cone, “And that’s why we should share.”

Brian raises his eyebrows and looks at her pointedly, “You got your treat. You love choco tacos. You can eat that and get what Justin has next time.”

Lily’s lower lip wobbles as she sniffles and sneaks glances at Justin’s cone, “But...But...It looks so good! I don’t want a Choco Taco now!”

“Lily,” Brian warns.

“She can have some of my cone, if that’s okay,” Justin tells him, “I really don’t mind.”

“I do. She needs to learn that she can’t have everything. I was soft on her today but apparently she thinks she’s entitled,” Brian explains as Lily glares at him, not so subtly.

But then, it’s as if a lightbulb goes off in Lily’s head.

“I know!” Lily exclaims, “I will give Justin some of my choco taco and he can give me licks of his cone! Then we would share together!”

Lily runs over and hugs Justin’s waist, staring up at his cone in need, “That’s a good idea. Don’t you think, Justin?”

Justin laughs and ruffles her hair, before glancing at Brian for approval.

“Whatever,” Brian sighs, giving up, as he takes a sip of his chocolate milkshake, “As long as both of you rowdy kids share.”

Lily jumps up and cheers, giving Justin a secret triumphant look, as if they pulled one over on Brian together.

Since Brian’s treat is less likely to spill, he’s the one who puts the groceries away as Lily reaches over and keeps licking Justin’s cone. He can’t help but melt a little when the little girl asks him to cut her Choco Taco in half so that Justin can have some. Of course, this does give Lily the gull to help herself to his cone more than ever but he honestly doesn’t mind.

Lily steers the conversation and talks about her dance classes and also drawing, which is one of her favorite things to do with her Daddy and Papa.

“Papa is really REALLY good,” Lily tells him after swallowing a bite of Choco Taco, “That’s his job. To draw stuff and build them. But Daddy is a really good draw-er too.”

“He is?” Justin asks, surprised. He knows that Brian took an interest in art and had an eye but he had never seen the man work on something like that. Turning to look at Brian in confirmation, the man shrugs and looks away.

“I’m okay,” he tells Justin, “Not as good as you or Eric obviously but I did get an internship in the art department before taking my senior advertising internship with Ryder for a reason. I took art classes in high school too. It’s not a big deal.”

“Of course it is,” Justin argues, suddenly intrigued by all of this, “I...I wish I would have known.”

Brian snorts, “There are people who just doodle with their kids, Justin. I’m one of them.”

“My daddy takes really good pictures too,” Lily reveals to Justin, “We went far far away just so he could take pictures!”

Justin turns to look at Brian again, eyebrows raised. This time Brian’s cheeks turn a little pink.

“Had to find a different hobby than the one I displayed in Babylon, didn’t I?” is all Brian says on the matter.

Thinking back on it, Justin should have known about Brian’s interest in photography. The man had a few cameras, nice ones actually, back when Justin lived at the loft. He assumed Brian bought them because he could. Just a tool to have in case he needed it. But most people who just wanted a camera to use casually didn’t buy a Canon and an Olympus, like Brian had owned, just because they might need one for casual use.

Maybe if Justin had been older, less distracted (even rightfully so) by the bashing and Brian’s tendencies to fuck anything that moved, he would have noticed that. Maybe encouraged it in some way.

“I would love to see pictures you’ve taken. And any other type of artwork,” Justin tells him softly as he maintains eye contact, “I really really would.”

Brian bites his lip and almost looks nervous.

“Maybe,” he murmurs then clears his throat, “We’ll see.”

Before Justin can answer, Brian’s phone starts ringing and he picks it up before excusing himself as he goes in the other room. Lily and Justin are left alone with their half melted, half eaten ice cream in their hands.

“Justin,” Lily prompts, “Guess what?”

Justin turns, “What?

“Duncan’s coming over today!” Lily exclaims, bouncing in her seat, “AND he’s spending the night so that me and Daddy can take him to the pool tomorrow.”

“Wow!” Justin exclaims, “I bet you three will have a lot of fun.”

Lily nods, wide eyed and excited, before looking around the room and leaning in.

“I have a secret to tell you,” Lily whispers, gesturing for Justin to lean in as well.

Justin leans in and Lily cups his ear with her hand and whispers directly in.

“I kissed Duncan on the cheek and he kissed me back so we’re boyfriend and girlfriend now,” Lily tells him seriously before sitting back up straight, “Don’t tell my daddy or papa, okay? They don’t know.”

Justin holds back a shocked laugh, “Why don’t you want them to know?”

Lily sighs, as if she has been weighed down with these concerns for a while, “Becauuussseee. Daddy said I can’t have a boyfriend until I’m grown up! But these things happen! All the time! My friend, Viola? Her boyfriend is named Dylan. They met at Beansprouts. And they love each other, like me and Duncan!”

“...Okay,” Justin says, “Congratulations?”

“Thank you,” Lily answers, sounding relieved that he’s happy for her.

A few minutes later, Brian comes back in the room with an annoyed look on his face.

“Ted,” Brian grumbles, “Basically calling to say one of the new junior ad executives is being a complete shit. Sounds like drugs. I told our dear friend that I made him in charge of the Pittsburgh branch for a reason and to fire his ass if he couldn’t function.”

“Daddy, don’t say bad words!” Lily scolds as she shakes her finger up and down, “It’s rude!”

Brian rolls his eyes, “And it’s rude to scold. I didn’t scold you when you said the f-word a few days ago, did I?”

Lily shrinks into her seat in shame.

“So, anything exciting happen while I was gone?” Brian asks as he sits across from them.

Lily gives Justin a warning glance and whispers, “You promised, remember?”

Brian gives Justin a confused look and Justin clears his throat, “Everything was calm on our end.”

“So SO calm,” Lily confirms before looking down at the remnants of her Choco Taco, “I think I’ll save this. For my recipe.”

With that, Lily wraps hers up and Justin lets her take his half as well. After she puts it in the freezer, she goes in the other room for a minute.

“What did she make you promise?” Brian asks him.

Justin winces, “I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone what she told me.”

“She’s my daughter, Justin. Come on.”

Before Brian can interrogate him further, Lily comes back with her drawing pad and art supplies and takes them into the sunroom.

“Daddy, Justin!” Lily calls out, “Come on!”

Brian sighs as they get up and follow her into the other room. They find Lily sitting on the floor, doodling away, before she looks up at them.

“Let’s draw,” she tells them before tearing out a couple of pieces of paper, “I’m making a drawing for Daddy. Daddy, you have to make one for Justin and Justin has to make one for me. That way, we all get one!”

“Great idea, Lily!” Justin commends, sitting down next to her.

“You just want me to draw you something,” Brian mutters, but sits down as well.

Justin just smiles. Brian’s caught him there.

Brian gives him a quick glance, “I’m not that good, you know. So don’t go comparing this to the stuff you see day in and day out.”

Justin holds up his hands, “Every artist is unique and there is no need for comparison.”

“Shut up, Sunshine,” Brian snorts.

“Daddy?” Lily asks as she grabs a colored pencil, “Why do you call Justin ‘Sunshine?’ Is that his middle name?”

“Um…” Brian says, actually looking embarrassed, “It’s a nickname. Grandma Debbie started it.”

“Oh,” Lily answers, understanding, “Like you and Papa call me Silly Lily.”

“Yes,” Brian tells her, sounding relieved, “Just like that.”

“Well, I don’t to be called Silly Lily anymore,” Lily states seriously, “I want you to call me by my middle name from now on.”

“Lily-”

Lily clears her throat pointedly and gives him a look.

“Fine. What are you drawing for me, Piper?”

Lily flips her curls behind her shoulders, “I’m drawing an octopus and a lamb. They’re friends.”

“That sounds like a beautiful friendship,” Brian smirks before looking down at his own piece.

“What are you making for Justin, Daddy?”

“I don’t know yet.”

Lily huffs in disapproval, “Well, you better figure it out soon! We have to cook here in a bit!”

“You can’t rush perfection, Piper!” Brian tells her dramatically before getting up to go draw in the corner.

Lily watches her father go draw by himself and turns to look at Justin.

“My daddy is really crazy sometimes,” she says to him softly, as if in explanation.

“I know,” Justin tells her, understanding that all too well.

For the next half hour, they just sit there and draw. Brian actually works hard on his sketch and Justin can’t help but be surprised at the concentration Brian is putting into it. Lily is thrilled with the dragon Justin makes for her, calling it scary but beautiful. Lily walks over to Brian to give him her picture. Brian smiles at it and Lily gives an explanation.

“That’s Lenny the Lamb and Ornery the Octopus. They’re going shopping and are on an escalter, see?”

I do see that,” Brian tells her before giving her a kiss on the forehead, “I love it. Thank you.”

Lily looks at him with pride before looking down at his picture and gasping.

“That looks just like them, Daddy! That-”

“Shhh,” Brian shushes her as he puts the final touches of color onto his paper, “I want Justin to be surprised.”

“Okay,” Lily whispers before giggling and sneaking a glance at Justin.

Finally, Brian stands up and Justin stands up as well. Without a word, Brian stands up and hands over the piece of paper before turning to Lily.

“Are you going to make us dinner or not?”

Lily nods, “Oh, yes! I’ll go get the stuff I need out.”

Lily runs in the kitchen and Brian is on her heels, most likely to make sure she doesn’t make a complete mess. Justin smiles as he watches them leave and turns over the paper. As soon as he does, he can’t help but laugh.

But Lily is right. Brian did a fantastic job in his depiction of Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Justin! You get ready to film us, okay?” Lily bosses as Brian ties her apron on and her hair up, “I gotta do my intro.”

Justin laughs but Lily keeps looking at him quite seriously so he sobers up and nods.

“Right, got it,” Justin confirms.

“Ready?” Lily asks, standing up straight on the chair.

“Ready,” Justin tells her.

“Ready, Daddy?” Lily asks, turning to Brian.

“I guess,” Brian grumbles.

“And...Action!” Lily exclaims, “Hi, I’m Lil-I mean, Piper! And I’m going to show you how to make soup today!”

Lily turns to Brian and whispers, “Ask me what it has in it, Daddy. And remember to call me Piper.”

Brian purses his lips, “What does it have in it, Piper?”

“Well, it has lots of things!” Lily says as she starts bending down to pick up her ingredients, “It has onions and chocolate and...what’s this stuff, Daddy?”

“Quinoa,” Brian informs her.

“Yes, and that too. It also has salsa and cheese and whipped cream and apple juice. And beef in a can. There’s so much stuff in this soup!”

“Okay, cut!” Lily calls out before beaming, “That was perfect! Next scene.”

Lily starts pulling out cooking utensils, bowls, and measuring cups, narrating her process even though Justin isn’t recording.

“Does Eric use film terms around her much?” Justin has to ask.

“No,” Lily answers before Brian gets a chance, “Daddy does. He always says ‘Action!’ and ‘Cut!’ when we play this. That’s your job today but I did it for you to show you how. It’s okay that you didn’t get it the first time, but learn. Okay?”

“...Okay,” Justin agrees before whispering to Brian, “Kind of bossy, isn’t she?”

Brian shrugs, “Yeah. But Eric and I just say she has good leadership skills.”

“Okay, guys. I’m ready for my next scene. Are you guys ready too?”

“Of course,” Justin tells her, getting his phone out in the process.

“Ready whenever you are,” Brian drawls.

And then Lily is working non-stop. She cries a little when she helps cut the onions with her kiddie knife but cheers up when she gets to break up a couple of bars of chocolate to throw in the pot. She makes Brian fetch some broth from the pantry for a soupier texture. The beef in a can and whipped cream end up going in last and Justin makes sure he gets a closeup of Brian’s green complexion.

“And now it just has to cook for a while! Be back soon!” Lily exclaims to the camera.

“And cut!” Justin calls out, something Lily says he has now gotten the hang of, “Good job, Lily!”

Lily accepts his high five and takes her apron off, “I gotta relax after working that hard. I’m gonna watch Home!”

“You watched that this morning,” Brian points out.

“But I want to watch it again,” Lily explains, “So will you put it on the TV?”

“I guess,” Brian tells her, “But we’re reading later. I want you to take a break from the TV.”

Lily shrugs, “Okay. But Duncan and me can sleep while a movie is on, right?”

“Sure,” Brian gives in, “But after this, no more until then.”

“Okay, Daddy.”

Brian leaves the kitchen to put the movie on for Lily in the living room before coming back and looking at the pot of soup with hesitance.

“You sure you don’t want to escape while you can?” Brian asks as he comes to sit on a barstool, “I wouldn’t blame you, you know.”

Justin huffs out a laugh, “While the offer is tempting, I think Lily would be extremely disappointed if I wasn’t here to film the final scene of you two trying the soup.”

“Oh god,” Brian moans, “I have to fucking taste that.”

Justin bites his lip and nods, “Pretty terrifying, isn’t it?”

The two of them laugh at that before looking around the kitchen.

“Shit,” Brian sighs, “She really made a mess.”

“That’s what four year olds tend to do, don’t they?” Justin asks.

“The mess that this game brings is a whole other level though,” Brian says tiredly before throwing some of the scraps away and wiping the counter down, “Oh, look. There’s some quinoa on the wall.”

“Okay, I’ll admit that it’s pretty bad,” Justin laughs before getting up to help Brian, “Here. Let me wash a few things.”

“You can just throw them in the dishwasher,” Brian tells him once Justin starts washing them by hand.

“You’ll waste a little less water this way,” Justin points out as he washes a few utensils.

“Don’t worry about too much of it now,” Brian says, “I’m sure Eric will want to see the damage anyway.”

“It would add to her video,” Justin agrees, “I’ll just do these, put them away, and leave the rest for after.”

Justin finishes washing what he has and glances at Brian only to see the man sitting at the kitchen table with his eyes closed.

“Brian?” Justin calls out, “Where do the forks and spoons go?”

“Over there,” Brian sighs, “In the shelf next to the dishwasher.”

There’s more than one shelf next to the dishwasher, a column of them on each side. As Justin opens the first one, he realizes that it’s the wrong drawer. It’s a drawer not unlike one he has at home, one filled with menus and pamphlets handed out on the street. However, he doesn’t have a pamphlet on a Surrogacy Agency in his. Picking it up, Justin looks through the pamphlet in curiosity. He’s always curious about this kind of stuff these days. He’s just too afraid to make a move.

“It’s the drawer to the left of the washer,” Brian says softly from right behind him.

Justin jumps a little and turns around to look at Brian then looks down bashfully.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, turning around to put the pamphlet back, “I didn’t mean to be a snoop.”

“It’s fine,” Brian shrugs, “You can have it, you know.”

Justin glances at the older man, “I don’t know-”

“It’s just a little bit of information,” Brian comments, “We don’t really want to save it. Eric probably just put it in there after he picked it up in the waiting room. As soon as you get an approved, you get a thick packet of information. Including that. So go ahead and take it. If you are interested in going that route.”

Justin stares at it a few seconds before nodding, “Thanks.”

Brian smiles a little, “No problem. Hope it helps you out when it comes to making a decision.”

Justin is silent for a moment, “I’ve been...you know...heading in that direction.”

“I figured,” Brian murmurs, “If it means anything, I think you’ll be great at it.”

And that really does make Justin smile. Slipping the pamphlet into his pocket, he turns back around and puts the silverware in the correct drawer this time and nothing else on the subject is said.

The two of them sit in the living room with Lily and Justin catches Brian taking opportunities to shut his eyes every once in awhile. He thinks about offering to take Lily outside or up to her room, give Brian some time to take a short nap or something, but, in the final scene of the movie, Lily decides that the soup is officially ready.

“It’s ready, Daddy!” Lily exclaims as she pounces on Brian, “Our soup is ready now! Are you excited!”

“...I don’t know if excited is the right word,” Brian cringes but Lily doesn’t catch it.

“Come on! We need to go eat now! Justin, you get your phone out to film me and my Daddy. You just got to!”

Lily runs into the kitchen and Brian forces himself up. Justin gets his phone out and ready.

“This looks amazing!” Lily exclaims, hamming it up for the camera, “I am so excited to eat this and share it with my Daddy and Justin. Let’s eat!”

Justin films Brian pour them three bowls of the concoction and put them on the kitchen table. They all settle into their seats and Justin can swear Brian’s hand is shaking as he brings the spoon to his mouth.

“...Mmm,” Brian forces out as he takes a rough swallow.

“So SO good!” Lily exclaims before she even takes a bite. Justin can’t help but stifle a giggle when she spits some of her soup back in the bowl as soon as she does.

“Well, I don’t think I can eat anymore,” Brian announces after the third bite as he puts his spoon down while Justin films.

“Why not?” Lily pouts, “It’s tasty!”

“I’m going on a diet,” Brian lies.

Lily gives her father a once over and nods her head, “Good idea.”

Before Brian can get too outraged, Justin jumps in.

“Well, I’m going to eat all of my soup,” he forces himself to say.

Lily beams, “It really is tasty, isn’t it?”

“Yep!”

And Justin really does try. After a while, he thinks that he can convince himself to like it. But the amount of relief he feels when Brian suddenly distracts her by spontaneously dancing her around the room just so Justin can pour his soup in the trash is almost comical.

Lily drags them in the other room right after dinner, set on playing. Justin may not have children yet, but even he can tell she is running on empty and at a high right before she crashes. Running around the room as if she can convince herself and everyone around her that she’s not tired.

“Hey, Lily?” Brian calls out as Lily jumps up and down, “I think it’s time for a nap, don’t you?”

Lily shakes her head so hard that it must rattle her brain before yelling, “No! No nap! I want to do fun things!”

Running around in circles a few more times, she runs over to get a pink case.

“Daddy, I want to to paint your nails,” she tells him as she sits in front of him, “You want yellow or blue?”

“Neither,” Brian refuses, pulling his hand away, “I want you to take a nap. You’re tired and ready to crash. I can tell.”

“I am not!” Lily shouts as she pounds on the floor.

“Yes, you are. I think you could even get a good two hours in.”

“No!!!!” Lily sobs, toppling over to press her face against the floor, chest and back heaving with shaky breaths, “No no no no no!!!”

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen one of these,” Brian grumbles before picking her up, “Come on. I’ll rock you upstairs until you settle down.”

“I...DON’T...WANT…THAT!!!!” Lily screams, bending backward in Brian’s grasp, “Justin! Justin! Make him st-stop!!!!!”

Justin looks at Brian helplessly, “Sorry, Lily. You have to listen to your daddy.”

“NO!!!!! NO!!!!!” Lily wails, crying hysterically, as Brian carries her up the stairs, leaving Justin alone in the process.

Well, shit. He hadn’t seen that bad of a meltdown from her before.

Brian’s up there for a good fifteen minutes before he comes back down, looking exhausted himself.

“She alright?” Justin asks cautiously.

Brian lets out a breath, “As alright as she can be. She misses Eric and her schedule gets fucked up when either of us are away. She hasn’t been sleeping like she needs to and is more on edge. She woke me up at 5:45 in the morning today. I had to put a movie on in my room just to get a little more sleep. I decided to wear her out today so that she could crash this afternoon but I think all the fun made her want to fight more, resulting in that epic meltdown. You sure you want kids?”

Justin laughs at that but smiles tenderly, “I’m aware that it isn’t all perfect but...I don’t know, I want it all. Tantrums included.”

“Freak,” Brian mutters but smiles in return.

Justin rolls his eyes before zeroing in on him, “So, those pictures Lily told me about…”

Brian groans, “Justin, they aren’t a big deal.”

“I’d really like to see them and judge that for myself.”

Brian sighs, “I’ll have to get out some albums. Some of them are from my film camera that I developed myself and haven’t transferred to my laptop yet.”

“Really?” Justin asks, intrigued, “Where do you develop them at?”

“There’s a place in the Flatiron District you can go to, play around in their dark rooms. I’ve been doing more digital this summer. We’ve been busy so it’s easier to just do it that way. But I like to go up there and work with the pictures I’ve taken on my Hasselblad.”

Justin blinks, “Shit, those can be several thousand dollars, can’t they? My friend Stanley would be so jealous.”

“He a photographer too?”

Justin nods, “Yeah, he moved to London though. He comes to visit from time to time. He’s really good. I should show you his stuff. As soon as you show me yours.”

Brian smirks, “Sunshine, that sounds like a bit of a euphemism. I’m shocked.”

Justin rolls his eyes and gets up, “I’m going to go take a piss. Go get your albums and laptop, I want to see.”

It doesn’t take more than five minutes for Justin to head to the restroom, relieve himself, wash his hands, and come back but within that time Brian has fallen asleep. Justin might think that he’s faking, considering the man seems hesitant to show him the photos in the first place, but Lily’s interpretation of Brian’s snores were pretty spot-on it seems and Justin immediately knows Brian needs the rest.

Taking a blanket that’s over a chair across the room, he drapes it over Brian’s body and heads into the kitchen, deciding to clean. It’s a big project to take on but he’d like to think that Brian might give him a hand if Justin becomes a single father, even if Brian’s single parenting is just temporary.

He wipes and disinfects the counters, rinses the dishes and puts them in the dishwasher, saves some of the soup in a container but throws the rest down the garbage disposal. He doesn’t think anyone will be going out of their way to eat it.

About half an hour later, Brian comes into the kitchen rubbing his eyes.

“Shit, why’d you let me fall asleep?” Brian mumbles tiredly as he looks around the kitchen, “And why did you clean my kitchen? You’re not my maid, Justin.”

Justin smiles, “You looked like you really needed the rest. And this will be one less thing you have to do. It was the least I could do.”

Brian stares at him for a few moments, “Cleaning my kitchen, letting me take a nap, finding my kid...what do you want?”

“Just to see your photography skills,” Justin answers innocently.

Brian scoffs but gives in, “Alright, come on. I’ll show them to you.”

Brian leads him back into the living room and goes to get a few albums and his laptop. And FUCK. Lily was right. Brian is good. Really good. The subjects of his photos vary. There are a lot of Lily and Eric, of course. Ones of Lily dressed up and looking adorable and candid ones of Eric that show Justin just why Brian would fall in love with him. There are some really great ones of Lily and Duncan first meeting that actually make Justin feel teary and ones of Gus and JR as well Emmett, Drew, Lindsay, Mel, Ben, Michael, Debbie, and Carl. But Brian doesn’t just stick with family. He has landscapes, objects and sights seen in various parts of New York, Chicago, St. Barts, and other cities he has traveled to; strangers, some of them posed and some of them candid. They are incredible. They’re photos that Justin would buy if he saw them on a street corner before he begged the photographer in question to take his card and talk to him about having a show at his gallery.

“Brian,” Justin says with wonder as he flips through the pages, “These are fantastic.”

“Okay,” Brian snorts as he looks away.

“I’m being completely serious. You have a really great eye and you’re so talented. Honestly, I really want to ask you to do a show at the gallery. I really do. I’m seconds away from asking, actually-”

“The answer is no,” Brian interrupts pointedly, “They're not at that high of a caliber anyway.”

“Believe me, Brian. They are,” Justin tells him honestly, “And if you ever change your mind about displaying them, you’ll have a spot in Williamsburg.”

Brian just hums, almost embarrassed by the praise, as Justin keeps looking at the pictures in wonder.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know that you were this good.”

Brian shrugs and glances at the picture Justin is looking at, “I didn’t really do much photography after college. I got into my career and found other hobbies, ones that were arguably more destructive. I didn’t really like to show people the photos I had taken anyway. It felt too revealing. Still does.”

Justin’s surprised by that admission, but does realize that it makes sense.

“What made you get back into it?” he asks softly.

Brian hesitates but answers, “I needed to find an outlet. I don’t really have one with my job like you and Eric do. You know how destructive I was. I needed to change. For myself. I remember how much I liked it so I started back up again. I was pretty private about it but finally let Eric look at what I had taken. My therapist. Gus. Lily. Eventually Emmett and Drew. They were all very encouraging. I think everyone else might know it’s a thing but they haven’t asked about my expensive ass cameras when I bring them up to Toronto.”

Justin smiles at that before clearing his throat.

“I wish…” Justin starts, “I don’t know, I wish I had known. When we were together. I know you weren’t really taking photos then but I...I guess I wish you would have felt free enough to know you could share that with me. Hell, maybe if you had showed me some of your work, I could have seen through your eyes a little better.”

Brian bites his lip, “I was fucked up back then, Justin. You of all people should know that.”

“You were still a good person. Deep down. You took me in, paid for my school, loved me, even if it took you forever to say it.”

Justin takes a breath at this point. It’s something that he feels like should have been said a while ago and has hovered over him as a reminder that it hasn’t been.

“Why did you never cash the check that I sent you?” Justin asks him.

Brian stiffens at the inquiry and avoids eye contact. Justin immediately regrets the question and knows it wasn’t the right time to bring it up. But he doesn’t know how he is supposed to bring up Brian paying for his time in art school without remembering that he still owes him thousands of dollars, without remembering that he actually gave Emmett a letter and a check to give to Brian yet he never heard back, never even saw the withdrawal from his bank account made.

“Let’s not talk about it, Justin,” Brian mutters as he closes his albums.

“I just...I just want to know,” Justin tells him helplessly, “I told you I would pay you back. That I would give you the money. We stopped talking but I figured you would appreciate having the amount in full-”

“Well, I guess I didn’t,” Brian snaps as he stands up, “Fuck, just let it go. Alright?”

It’s in that moment that Justin realizes there’s more to the issue than Brian’s letting on.

“...I’m sorry I brought it up. I just...I hope we can talk about it someday.”

The grim line that’s Brian’s mouth doesn’t completely disappear but the air in the room feels a little less dense as Brian sits back down.

“So, what were you doing in Whole Foods this afternoon?” Brian asks, making a point by completely changing the subject and probably doesn’t care about the subsequent answer, “Why go out of your way to shop in Union Square?

Justin sighs sadly before forcing himself to get over the tense one-sided conversation they had and move on.

“...I had just been on a date. We went to the Coffee Shop. And then I needed groceries so I stopped there,” Justin reveals.

Brian raises his eyebrows, “A date? Was he hot?”

“Not really.”

Brian makes a disgusted face, “Then why did you go out with him?”

“He’s a new friend of Carmen’s. She said he was nice. Wanted similar things. And that was true, I guess. But he was…weird.”

Brian snorts, “So are you.”

Justin turns to him and glares, “He smelled his food and called it heavenly. It was a fucking salad.”

And even though Brian laughs at that, the mood isn’t the same as it was before Justin brought up the dreaded question. Brian’s more closed off. On edge. Possibly angry at him for asking in the first place. Things get easier when Lily wakes back up and Brian brings her downstairs since she provides a bit of a distraction.

“I’m sorry for crying,” Lily tells Justin softly, leaning in as if she wants a hug, “I was just really tired.”

Justin chuckles and puts his arms around her, “It’s alright, sweetie. I understand.”

Even though things between him and Brian are still tense, he sticks around for Emmett and Drew and greets Duncan with a hug. The four of them have a couple of beers in the sunroom as the kids go upstairs and it seems to make Brian loosen up a little.

“So what secret did Lily tell you earlier, Sunshine?” Brian suddenly asks him after taking a swig of his beer.

Justin sighs and looks at the three men, “...I don’t know if I should say. If she finds out I told you, she’ll probably hate me.”

“Oh baby,” Emmett laughs, “Lily could never hate everyone.”

“Except for Joseph,” Drew adds.

“Oh, right. She does hate Joseph,” Emmett agrees, “But he seems like a real prick.”

“Joseph’s four, Emmett,” Drew points out.

“They start young these days, what can I say?” Emmett shrugs, “Now, come on. Let’s hear some gossip.”

Justin laughs at that, “I hope you realize how low you have all sunk if you are this set on hearing the latest scoop from a four year old girl.”

“Hey, no one is arguing with you,” Brian drawls, “But I have a reason to butt in. These two idiots have nothing better to do.”

“Well, it is about Duncan too,” Justin admits.

Emmett gasps and claps his hands, “It’s about Duncan too? My baby boy?”

“How many other Duncans do you know, Honeycutt?” Brian teases.

Emmett sends Brian a glare before turning back to Justin eagerly, “Well, go on! Tell us!”

Justin finally groans in defeat and lets them in on the secret.

“Lily told me she had a secret to tell me when Brian left the room. She then whispered into my ear that she and Duncan had kissed each other on the cheek and that they were boyfriend and girlfriend now. I was a bit shocked that she told me but she said that these things just happen.”

Emmett squeals in delight as Drew shakes his head amusedly. But Brian pales and looks as shocked as could be.

“Oh, Brian,” Emmett laughs, “Don’t tell me you didn’t know.”

“Well, this is the first I’m hearing about it,” Brian says with a strained voice, “I better go check on them.”

Emmett leans over and murmurs into Justin’s ear, “Duncan told me the day it happened. He was on Cloud 9 and completely in love. I gave him a little lecture about just keeping it on the cheek for years to come but it’s so cute, don’t you think?”

Justin huffs out a laugh and claps Emmett on the back as Brian makes his way down the stairs.

“Maybe it’s not a good idea that he spend the night,” Brian tells Emmett stiffly.

Emmett glares, “Don’t go breaking my kid’s heart, Kinney. He loves staying here with you and Lily. And besides, they’re four. We don’t have to be too worried for a while.”

“Why did you have to adopt such a lothario?” Brian groans, “Now I have to give Lily the talk years before I planned to.”

“Oh well!” Emmett quips before standing up, “Drewsie and I better be off. I have some things planned for the two of us.”

“Don’t rub it in,” Brian glares but accepts a hug from the man before sending the two off.

And then he and Brian are alone. Again.

“I better get going too,” Justin finally says after an awkward silence, “I’ll go get the groceries that I bought and be out of your way. Thanks for having me over.”

“No problem,” Brian mumbles as Justin heads to the kitchen and gets the few things he managed to buy on his list before heading back out.

Justin heads to the front door with Brian trailing behind before turning around.

“And thank you for showing me your work,” Justin tells him, “I meant it when I said I think you should have your own exhibition at the gallery. So give me a call and we can set one up-”

“Justin,” Brian interrupts, giving him a look.

Justin sighs, “Alright, fine. But if you change your mind…”

“...If I change my mind, which will be never, I will call you,” Brian finishes.

“Good. I think.”

They keep standing there for a few more seconds and Justin clears his throat.

“Look, I’m sorry if I upset you with asking about the check. It’s just something that has been on my mind for a long time and I would like to pay you-”

“It’s not a big deal,” Brian replies, intercepting the explanation, “Let’s just sweep it under the rug, alright? I’ll text later this week. Maybe you, me, and Emmett can go out for lunch.”

Justin studies Brian’s guarded expression for a few seconds before nodding his head, “Okay, Brian. Have a good night.”

“Night, Justin,” Brian says off-handedly before shutting the door in his face.

When Justin gets home, he makes himself a small meal from the food he has and reminds himself to go to the store tomorrow. But, even with the bare minimum, Justin does have to admit that his fried chicken breast and green beans is better than Lily’s soup.

The video is up and edited by the next morning, to Justin’s surprise. He figures Brian must have stayed up to put it together for Eric. And now that Justin’s in the group, he sees the other videos Brian but mainly Eric have posted of Lily. He sees that Eric is a goofier assistant than Brian is but that Brian is a better cinematographer than Justin is. After seeing Brian’s extensive collection of photos, Justin can’t say that he’s surprised.

He goes and arranges some displays at the gallery, despite probably not being needed, before getting groceries on the way home a few hours later. He cooks himself a more time consuming meal this time, a macaroni and cheese casserole with a salad and breadsticks. Even though the meal tastes great, he wishes he had someone to share it with or that he just would have gone down to Bedford Bar to ask Liam to make him Shepard’s Pie or something.

As he faces a lonely afternoon and evening, his mind wanders to Brian, who probably still has his hands full. It’s hard to imagine Brian chasing after his four year old daughter and her little boyfriend at the pool but Brian has done a lot of things in the last 8 months that Justin would have never expected out of him years before. And good for him. Justin can’t help but feel happy over Brian becoming the man he is now. Every time Justin sees him, he looks up to him and wants something similar to what his ex-fiance has more and more. The kind of Sunday afternoon Brian is probably having is something that Justin wants more than anything.

And that’s why, on Monday morning at 9 am sharp, he calls Tiny Treasures National and schedules an appointment later in the week for a surrogacy search consultation.