“How can one man snore that loudly?”

It wasn’t fair that her mother could sleep so soundly through this and Molly was stuck listening to Tucker’s snores as she tried to smother her head in a pillow. It probably wasn’t the best idea to attempt to smother herself but it kept her from smothering her pseudo step-father. Of course it hadn’t started until she had finally gotten her mind off of her brother long enough to start to shut her eyes. It was only then when he began taking these wheezing breaths that would probably muffle a jackhammer. She remembers her friends in high school doing triple takes as he walked in and out of the room and then they would gush about how lucky her mother is to be a cougar to a man who was sex on legs. Bull. Shit.

Don’t get her wrong, Tucker is very nice and has always been open minded and accepting when it came to Justin and very supportive of her. She can admit that. He loves her mother ridiculously so and it wasn’t Molly’s business if he was into older women and probably had mommy issues. She can even tell that he would probably be very good looking if he weren’t so Tuckery. But fuck, does the guy snore. Maybe it is a severe flaw that comes with good looking men. Molly remembers when she was fifteen and Justin had come in to visit from New York and brought Brian over for dinner. She knew that Brian was gay and that he was with her brother, but she could not stop staring at him. She remembers that Justin, for some reason, had said at the table that Brian had a deviated septum and snored really loudly sometimes and Brian had gotten all pissy about it. Their bantering was actually really cute at the time, but you never know. Maybe that was the beginning of the end for them. Somehow Molly doubts it.

Whatever caused them to finally call it off for good didn’t really concern Molly that much. It happened years ago and the past is the past. What concerned her was that Justin just left without coming in to say goodbye to his friends. She honestly doesn’t know what would elicit that kind of response. She would totally understand if Justin had been upset about Brian’s announcement, but he hadn’t been in the room. Molly is pretty sure that Brian had to have said something to Justin beforehand in order for him to just not happen to be there when Brian and Eric told everyone they were getting married in the spring. In all honesty, Molly didn’t think the announcement was that exciting. She knew that Brian and Eric had been together for a long time and they had the cutest little girl together. And she gets that it might be hard to hear the greatest love of your life has definitely moved on but Justin shouldn’t have been that surprised by the admission either. He knew that Brian had gotten to the point where he was willing and even happy about taking that step. She knew he hadn’t drank more than two or three drinks the whole time they were there. His alcohol tolerance was not that low. So why did he look so upset and have puffy and bloodshot eyes when she came out to see what was wrong? What had happened to make him fall apart like that?

This is what has been plaguing her thoughts at 5:00 am. She has slept two hours max and it’s stupid. Because of Tucker, of course, the loud fucker. But also because this is on her mind and it isn’t even happening to her. If she can’t sleep well, she has to wonder how Justin is sleeping.

Even though they aren’t twins, they must have some sort of psychic connection because her phone just vibrated on the end table. She sneaks over to the bedside table on her mom’s side of the bed and unplugs her phone. As soon as it lights up, she sees a message from Justin.

Dad called me last night.
That’s why I left early. Sorry
for ditching you guys :/

Well, fuck.

She hadn’t been expecting that at all. Although, she should have been expecting it more than Justin was. She was really the only person that still talked to their father on occasion, but she had cut back as soon as she had moved for college and told him that there was no need for him to help her move into the dorms. She didn’t talk to him on the phone very much. She picked up the phone for his calls maybe eight times a year. She saw him face to face even less, just a few times a year at most. She never told him when she was in Pittsburgh to visit her friends from high school or when she went up with her friends from college to go shopping. The only times she saw him were the times when he had gone out of his way to come down to Morgantown and would call her to see if she wanted to “hang with her old man.” She said no most of the the time and only felt a little guilty for letting him down when he had driven over an hour to try to see her. But there had been times where she had given in. Those were the times when she must have been feeling nostalgic over memories of him playing in the yard with her and Justin and taking the two of them out for ice cream. When she did give in, he would take her out to lunch on High Street and act way too eager to please. It ended up being so annoying. She used to give him underhanded comments and he would act as though she had never said them.

However, the three times she had seen him this past year, he had looked tired and lonely. The last time she saw him, she had actually gone to visit him for the first time since she moved to Morgantown at 18. It was almost three months ago. She doesn’t know why she did it. He had called and asked her to come see him and he sounded fragile and off. He had looked as fragile as he sounded. She barely recognized him as the man she grew up knowing. He had stuttered and trailed off at the end of sentences. He looked shaky and honestly on the verge of some sort of breakdown. And, despite her feelings on what he had done to Justin and her mother in the past, even she had been worried about his behavior. She had asked if he was sick or something but he kept saying, “Oh, I’m fine. Just fine.” But from what she had seen of him this past year, especially her last visit, he had looked so fucking sad and asked about Justin every time he called but she refused to tell him. She may have been worried about him, but Justin and her mother didn’t need to be. Their dad didn’t deserve to know anyway. He didn’t deserve to be privy to information about a family he had tried to tear apart.

She doesn’t know how he got Justin’s number. Justin has changed it a couple of times since he and Brian broke up. The first time he changed it was due to being on the same plan as Brian. So he had called AT&T and had his phone number deactivated, then got a New York area code. The second time was about three years ago to get some weird fan off his back. She could understand if their dad had done some searching and found the number to the gallery but Justin didn’t easily give out his cell phone number. He had a main business card for the gallery that was available for art collectors and visitors that just had the business line on it and he had another one that he gave to artists and personal contacts that had his cell on it as well. But Justin didn’t do that much business in Pittsburgh anymore. So she has to wonder how their father gotten a hold of his son. But she is more curious about what the fucker said to Justin to make him want to get away from everybody.

Well, Justin was up, right? He had texted her. She could step out into the hall and call him and ask what had happened then.

She grabbed her purse so she could step outside into the hall. She went through her recent calls list and found Jester listed there and pressed it to call. It rang four times and she thought he might not pick up but he did on the last possible ring.

“Hey.”

He says it quietly and his voice is a little hoarse. Suddenly she didn’t know what she was going to say to him. Being the youngest, there weren’t that many times where she had to be the protector. She usually protected him behind his back by condemning their father for what he had done and not giving up any information about Justin, even when her father looked completely horrible.

“Hey.” She says back to him.

Justin breathes out and stays quiet for a second.

“I didn’t think you would be up yet.”

“I figured you texted at five in the morning to get telling me what happened out of the way but get out of talking to me about this so quickly. Pussy.”

Justin huffs out a laugh, which is impressive because she is pretty sure her brother does not feel like laughing one bit.

“I just…I told you I would tell you what was going on but I didn’t know how to come out and say it.”

“I understand, Justin. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. I was really mad at his nerve to call me, especially on Christmas, but now…fuck, I’m really worried about him, Molly.”

“You two haven’t spoken in years. I figured if it ever happened it would be a blow up or stiff and cordial at the absolute best. What happened?”

“He called me. Completely drunk off his ass. Tried to act friendly as though as if he was just catching up with his son. I wasn’t having any of it. He knows that I had no intention of speaking to him again. I asked him how he had gotten my number. He said that you had left the room when you went to visit him last and he had looked up my number on your phone.”

“He looked through my phone? My phone?! Without my okay? That asshole, fucking snoop-”

“Molly, just let it slide. I don’t think he did it to invade your privacy.”

“I don’t care about the reason! He still did it!”

“I am pretty sure he hasn’t been thinking straight. He seems like he has been wanting to call me for a while but just worked up the nerve last night. Don’t...don’t chew him out just over him looking at your phone.”

Molly let out a sigh. She knows she just has to let this go for right now. It is a relatively small thing and this is ultimately Justin’s battle to fight.

“Sorry. Start again. What did he say to get you all worked up?”

“He wasn’t himself. He was acting as though it had been a long time since we’ve talked and that he just wanted to catch up with me like we were old pals or some shit. I called him out on it and told him I knew he didn’t give a shit if all was well with me or not. He claimed that he did care. Then I told him it was too late and ordered him to never call me again. I was about to hang up but...fuck…”

“What, Justin?”

“He let out this fucking whimper and it pissed me off for a second because why should he be the one hurt here, you know? I asked him what he wanted and then he started full-fledged crying. I could tell he was trying to put himself together but he couldn’t manage to do it. I just listened to him as he sobbed on the phone and he could only get out ‘I’m so sorry.’ And-

She hears Justin break off and she knows hearing their father like that affected him. Hell, hearing what happened second hand is affecting her.

“I have never heard him like that. I don’t think I have ever seen that man shed a tear, to be honest. After a couple of minutes, I asked him why he was crying. He managed to pull himself together just enough to tell me that he missed hearing my voice and he would leave me alone now. And the way he said it scared the shit out of me. I asked him straight out if he was planning on doing something stupid. I was afraid he might be suicidal, with the way he was acting on the phone. He said he was just going to bed early and told me he was sorry again, then hung up.”

Jesus, now Molly wishes this had just been about the Brian and Eric thing.

“Has he said anything to you? Has he done anything to give you a hint that he was feeling a certain way?”

“I don’t know, Justin. I’ve told you he’s been weird. I don’t see him much but I didn’t want to frighten you or mom. He’s been really lonely. The last time I saw him he looked as though he were some weird combination of uncomfortable and relieved to see me. I think his hands were shaking a little. He trails off at the end of his sentences sometimes and spaces out.”

“Do you think he’s sick or something?”

“I asked him. He said he was fine. I guess it’s possible he doesn’t know if something is wrong or not.”

“...Maybe drugs?”

“Really, Justin?”

“Well, how am I supposed to know? You haven’t said anything about shit like this happening before now!”

“You never want to talk about him!”

“I would talk about him if I knew he was suffering some sort of nervous breakdown!”

“Well, now you know!”

“Fuck! You should have told me something was going on with him!”

“I am barely around the man, Justin! I don’t know shit about him except that this past year seemed to be hard on him. I don’t know how bad he fucking has it! I try not to care too much because of what he did to you!”

They both take a moment to calm down. Molly called to comfort her brother, not to flip out at him. Even though he started it first.

“I didn’t know he got your number from my phone. I didn’t know that he would break down like that when he called you. He has never done that in front of me. But I have noticed a lot more alcohol in the fridge when I visited last and I’ve noticed how odd he has been acting in the last several months. I should have said something. I know I should have. But I didn’t want you and mom to worry about him when he was such a shit to the both of you for several years. You are up here and he disowned you. You owe him nothing. He cheated on Mom but I know she would freak out if something was wrong with him. She doesn’t need that when she has been helping Grandma with Grandpa. I didn’t know what to do.”

“I know, Molly. I’m sorry for freaking out. I really am. He just worried me a lot.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. Right now, probably try to get a little more sleep. I will figure out the rest later, I guess. You want to meet for lunch?”

“With or without Mom and Tucker?”

“I guess with. I don’t know if I will tell them what happened last night though. Not yet.”

“You know, I think Mom thinks it is because of what Brian announced last night. I know you had to have heard about that by now.”

“Well, it wasn’t.” her brother snapped, leading her to believe that it was part of it, the liar.

“You don’t have to snap at me.”

“I’ll make it up to you by taking you all to Park Plaza in Brooklyn Heights.”

“Their buffalo chicken sandwich is good…”

“It should be easy for you to get there. Easier than for me to get there, even though I’m in Brooklyn.”

“Oh well, train lines are a bitch! I’ll meet you there around noon and then maybe we can talk about everything tonight in person, without fighting over the phone.”

“Alright. I love you, Molly.”

“You too, Justin.”

She ended the phone call and started to walk back to the room. She stopped because she knew she wasn’t going back to sleep. Not when the secret fears she kept stifled had just come out and confronted her. Now that even Justin was worried about their dad and she couldn’t stay in denial in an attempt not to care. Damn it.

It was about 5:30. The hotel had a shitty continental breakfast she could go down to. She could do that to kill some time and try to get some stuff off her mind. If she got tired, she could always go back to sleep until 10:30 or so and if she didn’t, then she could go somewhere and explore some before she went to meet Justin.

She took the stairs even though it was six flights and found the dining area. No one was there yet. She got herself some coffee to drink and cereal, toast, and a banana to eat, then sat down.

After sitting there by herself for ten minutes, she became so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice when Hunter approached her.

“Hello, Madam. I don’t mean to bother you, but there is absolutely nowhere to sit. May I be honored with your presence?”

Molly snaps out of it and looks around the dining room to see that he is fucking with her.

She presents the seat to him and he sits down with his food mountain of eggs, sausage, bacon, and mini pancakes drenched in syrup.

“Out of everyone, I didn’t expect it would be you to be up so early.”

Hunter shrugs as he shovels food into his mouth.

“I get up at like 4 am everyday to be on set and set everything up for the first shoot of the day. I’m used to it now. You’re a teacher, you understand early mornings.”

“Yeah, but I don’t do them when I don’t have to.”

"And yet you are up now."

Molly shrugged and just played with her spoon.

“While it is nice to sleep in, I like some time to myself. Getting up early is the only way I am going to get it. Like right now, I am right across the hall from my parents and as soon as they get up, it’s like, ‘Hunter! Let’s go see what show we should go to today!’ and ‘Hunter! Let’s go to a museum, buddy! The Met sound good to you?’ and ‘Hunter let’s all hold hands as we cross the street because we aren’t in each other’s space enough as it is!’ Don’t get me wrong, I miss them to death while I am in L.A. and it is nice that they miss me too. But come on, I’m 26 and I need some space even when I do visit, you know? Hey, this bacon sucks. Want some of it?”

“No, I’m good.”

“Well, you don’t look that good. NOT that I mean you don’t look good physically. You are gorgeous, as always. But you look distracted.”

Molly doesn’t know if it is the fact that she is really tired or that she is just really bothered by what is going on. She doesn’t know if it is the fact that she always finds Hunter so funny and interesting on the occasions she does get to see him and, out of all the people she sees when she sees Justin’s friends, Hunter is the one she looks forward to seeing the most outside of Nathan. But without her brain’s permission, she tells him absolutely everything.